Aquaphobia

I can hear every thrust of the ocean plowing into the side of this already battered and chipped wood on my small sail boat which was hand crafted by my father in my childhood back yard when I was just a small girl. My father, he taught me everything I know and love about sailing on this vast ocean, well he taught me everything I know about the world.; and yet as The icey water crashes to the front of the boat water pouring over the ledge soaking the previously dry floor, and the wind hits my face all recollection of what was instilled in my mid since i i learbed how to walk suddenly vanished with it. the world shifts slightly as the boat his hoisted back upright in the sea, as my husband lowers the sails, allowing the wind to get caught in them. Sam has been my rock through all of this, when the water get rough and hard to sail he assures me that we are able to make it through "we are the best sailers these waters have ever seen Evelina" he tells me each time i begin to wonder way I put my self through the fear. Some days, living on the water could be considered a dream. However, some days, I wish I had settled on land. Then it happened I was snapped out of my thoughts as he slipped, Sam stumbled from the sails and slipped om the icey water coving the floor of the boat, this would be considered a normal event however on this dreaded night the rope holding the sails finally snapped causing the boat to once again be taken by the water, wind moving at a velocity of such that could crush a human if under the pressure, the small ship is hurld upward from the left getting engulfed with icey slush like water on the right, Sam, my darling Sam falls victim to the harsh waters I watch as the wave pull him under off the boat.i can hear myself scream out after him, soon the waters calm However it is already much to late. I gasp for air and sit up much to quickly hitting my head on the wooden piller above me, it has been 2 years since that night and yet I rembrr each moment in my dreams, so vividly as though I could change it, sacrifice him, as if I could save Sam. Those recurring nightmares haunt me each time I close my eyes. "Mommy," the sleepy voice of my almost two year old rings out "Yes, Samantha?" I had Samantha shortly after Sam's passing, I wish she had a chance to meet her father. He was a good, no a great man. she looks at me with heavy eyes, she's very much still tired, I wonder why she is awake, could she be feeling ill, possibly a nightmare. then she coughs just a slight cough, a simple cold perhaps likely however even a cold if not treated quickly could be very dangerous she's only a toddler not just that but we also live on the water colds and bacteria fester quickly I guider to lie back down and cover her with a blanket she states she is feeling hungry so I decided a closed and shut solution to this oncoming cold is a warm meal I give her a spoon full of the commonly hated flu medicine and tell her she must wait for me to cook.