Logan

My phone alarm ring on an early Monday morning. Ugh...school. Staring at nothing but the darkroom as I wonder if today is going to be different. Of course, it wouldn't be. Every night, I always hope tomorrow that the accident was just a dream. Hearing mom walk down the hall and starts cooking breakfast in the kitchen while dad takes his morning showers getting ready for another day at work. And Athena and Ares would fight over the bathroom. It's been so long since the car accident, and I couldn't bare handle another day without them. I'm the blame for the death, yet others say it wasn't my fault. The alarm from my phone began to beep again while I sit there. Minutes later hard knocks on my door are heard as I ignore it first then I listened to my brother on the other side. "Effie, get up. You're going to be late." I land my eyes on the door. Hearing my brother knock again telling me to get up then drag his feet into the bathroom in the hallway. We have two, one in the master bedroom-my parents room and the one in the hall where three siblings share and fight over who gets to go first. It will get wild in the morning but since my parents are gone everything lively in this house no longer exists. I slowly moved out of bed, put on my fluffy slippers and gathered my clothes for school. Choose a black cardigan no care if it's warm outside fall is coming up and I'll be the one laughing at those who dressed so little. Then pulled out a graphic black t-shirt with a Pikachu on it, and black leggings from my dresser, and converse - also in black. Everything I wore is black, and I like it that way. I didn't care much of what I wear because it's school. Other kids my age would care. About their hair, their clothes, their gadget, everything to please others. I wasn't one of those kids who cares about what they look and dresses to be cool. I walked out of my room hugging my clothes and at the same time Ares, my brother went out of the bathroom his short black hair damped and loose, his five o'clock shadow has been shaved as towel wrapped around his waist revealing his torso with tattoos of the Filipino sun in his right chest and Japanese design that covers his whole right arm while steam from the bathroom smoked out. "Morning sis," he greets with a smile as he plays with his damp hair. "Sorry about the steam kind of cold in the morning." "It's okay," I say quietly. Ares groan rubbing his face. "Effie, please speak up." I could tell by the sound of his voice he was cranky from waking up early for work. "You are seventeen and your not making any friends with that soundless voice of yours." I lowered my head, quiver my lips. I heard Ares make swore under his lips and before he could apologize thunder footsteps came from the kitchen then we both heard, "Ares, you ass, are you making Effie cry again!" "No!" He calls back. Shushing me to keep quiet but as usual, I didn't say a word. I felt being bullied by my brother who didn't mean to hurt me but my the tears just suddenly appeared and allowed my brother to get in trouble with the woman of the house. My brother wince as we both saw an angry woman stomping her way towards us and stopped. Athena stood there, her hip sway to the side, and arm crossed over her chest holding a kitchen knife and spatula glaring at Ares. The way she presents herself made me see our mom again with her medium length black hair, but grey almost silver if under the light eyes from our dad. We all have the signature Reid grey-silver eyes and black hair from the Magalona blood. I watched Ares swallow hard. His Adam's apple went up then down. "Want to test me from your lies, little brother?" Athena warns. "No, I'm not. I swear," Ares protest and leaned back not to get into our older sister's face. "I'm just telling her to speak louder." Athen sigh. "Don't get angry at her. She's been through a lot since Mom and Dad passed." "I know." "And the foster home." "Yes," he grunts in annoyance. "How could I forget?" "Now, apologize." Ares looks at me. "Sorry, baby sis." He leaned in and kissed the top of my forehead. Then he walks away to his room and shut the door. I heard Athena sigh then look as she shook her head. "I swear. Don't worry, Effie, one day. One day you're going to be yourself again." "I'm sorry." Athena smiles, blushing a strand of my hair back. "Don't be sorry. It's just your brother, and I are worried about you. I mean you were there." I lowered my head to the ground. I could remember it like it was yesterday. Practically, that accident reminds me every day for the rest of my life. It was eleven years ago; I lost two important people in my life just like that. In that year I turned six years old, and it was the day of my birthday. And the one thing I wanted was an iPad. At that age, I acted like a brat, and it had been the time when kids wished to have something like other kids had. I'd seen other children with cool gadgets and new stuff, and because my family isn't that rich and we live in a lovely family home in a quiet, and peaceful homes yet noisy during the day as cars pass by to piss me off in the morning. Bixby Knolls is my home despite with all that commotion outside of my house. I remembered my small self, little Effie expecting to live with new things. I had wanted an iPad for so long, and I wanted so bad than a puppy. I'm that type of child who would sing her heart out. Karaokes, watching music videos, singing in the bath like I'm on Broadway. I would sing. My parents; Jacob and Diana Reid, think its cute the way I express myself through singing, and I didn't mind as long as it makes them happy. My siblings support me and say my voice sounds like a mixture of great singers. That day, I begged my parents to buy me the iPad, but because they made minimum wages, they couldn't afford one. So, like all children who don't get what they want throws a tantrum. Hard-headed and spoiled I wailed at my parents to buy me what I wanted. They gave in to make me stop crying, but that never stops the rain pouring hard on that day. I couldn't contain my excitement as I was anxiously eager to play with it. I had to ask my mom to help me while my dad's drive. I sat in my car seat; jumping like I have eaten a whole bowl of candy, I had kept bothering them with questions of how can I turn it on. My ignorance made my dad get antsy he kept on driving without looking forward telling me to wear my seat belt. Then it went by fast once I had heard an incoming delivery truck aiming our way, and hit directly at us in the middle of the crossroads. The crash went by quick. I remembered waking up at the hospital with Athena and Ares by my side. Their eyes were swollen and moist with tears, and when I asked where mom and dad were, they fell into silence and told me I had survived a car crash. Ever since my parents died, I had been closed off and guarded. I didn’t like the idea of getting attached to someone new knowledge that they could be taken away from me. That’s why I chose not to make friends with anyone in school or anyone at all; it was too risky. Athena was too young to take care of her younger siblings; sixteen was still young for her to take care of us. After two years it took for her to claim custody of us. We settled in, Athena took a job taking care of older people at a nearby home that has built for them, and it was just me and Ares going to school. Then when Ares turned eighteen, he decided to take a job as well to add more support for the family financials. He started working at a construction company. But on his days off he would go out in the morning and come home late with cuts and bruises. The next morning he would buy expensive gifts for Athena and me stating he just got a raise for being a hard worker. But, I know that's not true. Sure, we have a 65-inch flat screen tv, a new fridge with an ice and water dispenser, a Mac desktop, an Apple Watch for Athena when she is at work cannot be on her phone, and because my iPad was ruin during the accident, Ares replaced it with the newer iPad. I never ask what he has been doing and getting so much money with just working in a construction company is suspicious. I kept my mouth shut and just let him spend so much. It's been so hard on us siblings living without parents around, but we kept it maintain with chores and responsibilities taken care of every day, so our lives aren't as bad but for me its worst for me all the time. I felt like a broken record that doesn't know when to stop. "We don't blame you," as Athena broke me away from memory lane. "It's that dumb driver who should've worn glasses in the first place. We are glad that you survive. Otherwise, we would have lost both you and our parents. It's going to be okay." She kissed my hair and walked back to the kitchen. Watching her go I wonder if I made things much harder for her and Ares. Athena took care of us until Ares was old enough to support the family, and where was I always? Locked up in my room doing nothing but feel guilty about what I've done. I know they don't blame me for our parents' death but in their eyes tells me differently. Like they hated me for what happened. I went to the bathroom and changed into my clothes to wear today for school. I took a shower last night because I didn't want to wait an hour for Ares to finish. He takes longer in the bathroom than the girls in this house. Sometimes I think he so much like a girl. I let my hair fall smoothly down, looked at the mirror I see myself looking like Samara Morgan from the movie The Ring. As I finished all dress for school, I came out from the bathroom entirely dressed, grabbed my backpack from my room and heard Athena calling Ares and me to eat. The door slammed shut behind me when Ares button up his plaid shirt, smiled at me, wrapped his arm around my shoulders leading us to the kitchen. The smell of a delicious breakfast filled the whole house. I grabbed a seat, Ares took the one next to me starting filling his plate with scrambled eggs mix with tomatoes, spam, and sometimes fish - yeah definitely cooked fish in the morning to start the day. We are half Filipino from my mother side. My dad is from England where he lived and met Mom while she was on a one week trip she won from a raffle. Mom told me it was a funny and romantic story about how my dad pursued her. You see my mom didn't want to date. She was too focused on her life especially her family in the Philippines. When she received the reward from work for winning a game, she just wanted to relax and enjoy her trip, but as mom said to us, my dad was a player, a delinquent always leading into trouble. He would do anything to get into my mom's pants. My mom was headstrong and would reject him over and over again. Until she finally gave in; she had said that there was that spark in her heart that made her fall hard for my dad. The one thing that stood out about my dad, he got a beautiful singing voice. She told me falling in love wasn't easy, but once you set your eyes on that particular person you would deny at first and ask the number one question - why? Why fall for him? Why would a person like him to fall for someone like me? There are many whys you can come up with just one person who you want to spend the rest of your life with; you wonder why it's us against the world. So, my parents both got married in Las Vegas. Just a shotgun wedding because my grandparents, my mother's parents didn't approve a guy like my dad with his background. They expected her to marry a doctor or lawyer, and you know the typical stereotypes about Asians. After they wed, they moved to Bixby Knolls where dad became a music teacher and mom work at a nursing home. Athena made herself at the table as she fills her plate, she stopped and stared at me. "You are not going to eat?" She asks while Ares is stuffing his face like a pig. "Not that hungry," I reply taking a piece of spam into my mouth. "Okay, I'm done," Ares mumbled with food in his mouth and drank his cup of orange juice to drown it with. "Awesome food, sis. Bye kiddo, have fun at school," kissing at the top of my head before he rushes out the door. The roaring sounds were coming off his bike as he left the driveway. "He sure is in a rush," Athena says, "He doesn't start his shift until ten." I played with my fork as I got up from my sit strapping my bag over my body. "I have to go." "Okay, oh, wait," she stops me to a halt. " I won't be home tonight. I got a shift to stay at the nursing home and probably Ares will stay out late too, you know - men. But, would you be okay here by yourself?" I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess," I answer in a non-commercial way like it didn't matter to me whether my older siblings stay overnight. They are adults, so its okay for them to do whatever they want. I said my goodbyes as I walked out of the house. Before leaving, I saw a moving truck appeared to the house next to mine that has been vacant for some time since the Jeffersons moved out. Now it seems a family has moved in. One guy came out from the truck carrying a heavy box. He placed it down, and to my wide eyes, he was shirtless; bare torso and all showing off his abs. The neighbor pulled out a cloth from the back of his pocket whipping the sweat off his face. I got a good look at him; I must say he was very built. Not as much as Ares, but this guy looks like he could kill someone with those muscles of his. He had dark hair, roguishly messy hair that has not been combed, tan skin, and I witness the tribal tattoos painted in black around his left arm. I couldn't make out his eyes though, but I know they are somewhat light maybe blue. When he flexed his arm to dry his hair, he saw me staring and flashes a flirtatious expression. Making me check his body out shows how sexy he was, flexing his biceps and abs as a way I should be falling at his feet. Kissing them, moving them as if he was saying come-check-me-out-I'm-all-yours. I groaned. Then when another one, much bigger than the shirtless guy only this one has a tank top on with the same tribal tattoo on his right arm was walking out of the house. He looked at the shirtless guy confused; then turned his head and made eye contact went over to the shirtless guy and slapped him to bring in the boxes inside the house. That is what I see from the way the other guy is telling shirtless. Then shirtless rubbed the back of his head, gave me one last look and winked going back inside the large vehicle. He then sticks his head gesturing his pinky and thumb like a phone to call him when a hand reaches to his face to pull him back inside. I inwardly rolled my eyes, took out my iPhone and plant my earphones into my ear and listen to my Spotify playlist on the way to school. It wasn't a long walk. It's across the street, yeah, my school is my neighbor. I reach the school, and once inside I headed to my locker. Put a few things inside then back for first period. I passed each student down the hall like a maze avoiding anybody in my way, and of course, no one noticed me. I was no one, a lonely outcasted girl who just wanted to get through the senior year in high school, and hopefully find a way to repay everything to Athena and Ares, then leave them without having someone like me be in their way. Rushing to English Literature, I saw Miss. Walker is sitting at her desk reading the journals the class turned in last week. Miss Walker, a young woman in her mid-twenties with her short strawberry blonde hair and honey brown eyes. The boys in her class love her because not only she is nice, but they would check her out her ass. Can't lie, the woman is beautiful in her unique way. Tall, slim, and have a badass chick attitude the guy in here love it. Only when she is off campus, she's Jordan Walker, but on campus she's Miss. Walker. I knew her because she is the same age as Ares. They went to the same elementary through high school together, and my brother uses to tell me that she was one of the guys because she lives with men; four older brothers and one widow dad. Acts and hung out with the guys not caring in the world of what others think. Other guys never dare touch her because of the men in her family and no women wanted to mess with her - well, you all know what I mean. She can kick their asses the minute they open their mouths. That's what I love about her. She never cared what people think of her. She does what she thinks best. There are no romantic feeling between her and my brother only that they are best friends. During middle school, she would hang out at our house playing videos games or play basketball at the nearby park. Jordan was always welcome; now she sometimes comes visit, she was there during our parents funeral along with her family giving their condolences. When Ares and I were separated from each other Jack Walker, we call him Big Jack, Jordan's dad wanted to take us in but his hands were already full raising five children of his own and taking us it would be chaos. We didn't want to be a burden for the Walker's. Jordan saw me come in and her lips curled into a smile. "Morning, Effie." "Morning," I smiled back. It's weird having someone you know for a long time be your English teacher, and you have to act like strangers to each other. Then again, she doesn't express that in class with other students around because she understands that if they knew our relationship, she would be biased towards her students and I would be her favorite - which I am. She treats me equally with the others. "I read your journal," she started to say before I could get to my seat. I froze. I looked at her as she folds her hands together and rests her head on it staring back at me. I gulped. When she makes that face, I couldn't hide anymore. She sometimes gets scary, but it is not the same level as Athena when she looks. "I'm sorry," I plead with guilt in my low tone of voice. "I couldn't write what you assigned." Jordan shuts the composition notebook as our journal entries. "Look, I'll let it slide just this once because I know you and you've been going through a lot. But, I was hoping that this topic would make you open up, express yourself. That is why doing journal entries are for writing down your thoughts and feelings." "I'm sorry," apologizing again looking down to the floor. I heard Jordan sighed handing me my journal. "I'm going to give you until the end of the year to answer the topic otherwise you will fail my class and won't graduate. And I can't have that. This assignment will be your extra credit." That seems fair. "Okay," I say, then walk down the aisle heading to my desk. I knew I couldn't argue with her because she's my teacher and a close friend. But I know she will tell my brother about me, and he will say, "Athena, how their younger sister cannot answer a simple question?" I couldn't handle a scold from my sister. She is so like our mom whenever she gets angry at us and Athena who looks so much like Mom that includes the same personality as her. What would I most like to change about my life? Now, what kind of question is that? I can't answer that question for her to read when she already knew. What did I want to change my life? That I've never been born so my parents would be alive and well be raising my older siblings as planned. You see, I was a mistake, and they didn't want a third child, but my parents call it the biggest mistake of their lives that made them a complete family. I didn't get it. If I was the most significant mistake, why be happy about it. So, if answering the question Jordan had the class to write, I couldn't reply to the subject and left the page blank. But she gave me the whole year to come up with an answer, or I will leave this hell hole. I'll be stuck attending summer school while everyone has the best time of their life. As I made my way towards the back of the class, I went to a halt. There sitting on top of my desk made me groaned the way she is lying her ass on and it's not an ass, but it was Paris Blake, the popular girl in the school and the biggest b***h to get face to face with. The way she's sitting is as if she owns it. She was talking to some boys who just grabbed my attention whom I don't recognize. It didn't bother me that they were in my class the fact that Paris has made herself a comfortable spot sitting her ass on my desk, Maybe they are from another class. I questioned in my head as I saw that not only they are unfamiliar with me but twins: replica, identical twins just that one of them has his hair a bit longer into a short length of his hair almost a buzz cut, and the other has his long in a bit of a wavelength up in a messy ponytail. Both have dark hair, and I couldn't make out the eyes because they are looking the other way. They wore almost the same clothes only the one with long hair has a white tee v-neck that inflates to his body as it shapes the outline of his muscles while the other wore a leather jacket. Both boys were huge compared to my small frame and 200 pounds of muscles. I noticed the tribal tattoo on ponytail guy and made me rethink about them - Are they even high school students? Wait, correct that - why are Jason Mamoa and Dwayne Johnson even here? And they are two of my most favorite actors. I could feel like I'm dreaming and your guess your wondering like a chick who wears black have a thing for sexy buff Samoan guys. I guess people have something that not most people do. I didn't want to stand there for the whole period and approached my desk. I duck my head and hold behind Paris while she made flirtatious jokes and bragged about how rich her parents. The twins noticed my presence and tilted there body to the side of Paris as she talks looking behind her. "Um...hello?" She smacks her lips. "Are you two listening?" "There is someone behind you," said the one with the short hair. I watch Paris shift her body around and let out a yelp then scowls. "s**t! God, don't sneak up on me like that," holding her hand over her heart. "Y-your in my seat," I say in a stuttering whisper voice. "And can you speak up?" She says with her the annoyance in her tone. "It's like talking to a f*****g wall." Jordan cleared her throat loud enough for the whole class to hear especially to the back at Paris when she cusses. She groaned. "I-I...you're in m-my seat," I stammer repeating what I said. "W-w-well, can you wait," Paris mocked me like I have a lisp. She turns her body around. "People are talking here, so anyways..." I heard a few snickers coming from the students who heard Paris insult towards me. I put my hand in front and squeeze them tight as I close my eyes to make it all go away. This day could not get any worst. "Hey," I wince at the sound of a husky voice as a desk was scoot back. I looked up through my hair and saw the guy with the ponytail stood up. "This your seat?" I glance at him looking dumbfounded when he asked me a question. I nodded Ponytail look at Paris who seems to be enjoying his stare. "Get off her seat." "Why bother? She's just a nobody," Paris lean forward showing her cleavage. "But I'm a somebody, definitely a somebody." "Just get off so she can sit down," his voice seemed annoyed and not affected by the way Paris is expressing with her seductive approach. "Come on baby," Paris purr. She didn't listen and made herself use her body in her language for him to read every movement she makes. "She's not important. That girl is nothing. People called her Sadako." "Why is she called that?" Said the other twin who seems to know who Sadako was. She's the character from the Japanese version of The Ring. I'm just saying. "Because have you seen the way she looks," thumbing behind her pointing at me. "Who dresses all black as if someone died here. And also because she killed her parents," Paris laugh hard, with some snickering hard while others ignored her comment. "Ms. Blake," Jordan slammed her hand on her desk glaring at Paris. "May I remind you to respect your classmates and not make false remarks about their personal life just to be used for your entertainment." "All I'm saying is true," she shrugs, not caring about what she said. "She's cursed. Her name doesn't even match her whole get up." Paris flips her hair back. "Enough!" Jordan demand Paris to shut her mouth. Although, I'm her student as a close friend she doesn't like the idea of anyone bullying me. "You go straight to the principal office and explain why you are there." "But-" "No, but's. Go," Jordan points to the door. Paris grunted loudly, kicked off my desk as she glared at me. "You are so going to get it, emo b***h," she muttered a growl then shove me, grabbed her bag and head out the door. I saw that the twins watch her ass move and I inwardly groaned, and just at the same time she left the room the bell rang. "Okay, class take your seats," Jordan order making everyone inside her class sit on their desk. "And before we get started I will like to introduce you to two new students all the way from Hawaii."