Dear Ex Husband, I'll Ruin You

Adele “Adele, please go and settle Mom's hospital bills. She must undergo the surgery in two hours. It's urgent.” Seth's voice cracked over the phone. "I'll be there" I dropped my phone in the safe and revved out of the compound. I was lucky to take a traffic-free route. At 100 kmph, I stared straight ahead as if I could travel an hour's journey in 20 minutes. The tires suddenly began to turn faster—too fast. In and out. My hands couldn't control the movement of the wheels. My legs matched on the brake—a reflex action. Nothing happened; my eyes flew wide. The steering wheel trembled in my hands. Blood froze in my veins. I'll be dead. Those words repeated in my mind like a chant, getting louder and louder as the black blur gets closer and closer. My screams led to nothing. Sweat broke on my entire skin, and fear overwhelmed me. The car rammed into a packed truck all of a sudden. My head hit the seat, then the steering wheel. The smell of burning rubber stung my nose. Then silence followed, louder than the screams that echoed in her ears earlier. The world went dark. ---- My only mistake was loving someone, and it ruined my life like shattered glasses. Every shard cutting through my aching soul. The smell of disinfectant and methylated spirit attacked my lungs, yanking me out of my unconsciousness. The smell of a hospital registered in my brain. My fingers twitched against the bed, the thin bedspread buried into my nails, making it scrunch. My eyelids felt heavy. A thin needle lodged in my veins, and a deep-seated itch started underneath my skin. My eyes peeled slowly; the room was dark—not even a ray of light peeked through. My heart tightened again, unsure of where I was. I probed my brain for answers, it presented me a giant puzzle with no pieces put together—nothing clicked. “Who is there?” My voice faded into lul, like I hadn't talked for days and my voice box had closed. No one answered. I wanted to sit up, but I was weak, contemplating how I got there. A thin, shrill sound filled the room as someone opened the door, relief flashed through me. At least, the person would answer my questions to calm the storms brewing up in my head. The creaking sound of female heels approached. A nurse I imagined to wear a white coat and short black hair, holding a file to take my vitals— if truly I was in a hospital. “How do you feel, ma'am ?” She asked, her tone laced with concern, her cold palm came into contact with my damp skin. She adjusted the bed, and helped me to rest my back on the pillow. I touched my forehead and shut my eyes. Finding it lazy to open them, the dark brought me enough comfort. “Are you the nurse? I asked, feeling dizzy and weak. She didn't respond. “How long have I been out?” I asked. “Yes, ma'am. I'm Nurse Claire. You've been unconcious for two days, Mrs Collins” She called me by her marital name, my cheeks flushed, forgetting my worries for a moment. The tension in me slowly drained away. Definitely, I was not a stranger there, and they wouldn't hurt me. My husband must be at the reception or the waiting area. “Can you please turn the lights on?” I held the part of my head banging with a migraine. “The lights are on, Ma.” She answered, her voice low and trailing off. My heartbeat paused as I exhaled sharply like a deflated balloon. “Then, why am I not seeing anything?” I blinked, making sure my eyes were opened. “The doctor would like to have a word with you.” There was a slight trembling in her voice, a hint of deference I disliked. The sound of her heels retreated, and a different sound approached. I wasn't aware when the second person entered. “You had a car accident, a stranger rushed you to the hospital.” The doctor's voice sounded husky, interlaced with care. Another puzzle piece fell into place, and my stomach recoiled as his voice resounded through my mind. “Why did the nurse turn off the lights?” I forced words out of my tightened lungs. “The lights are on, Ma.” He repeated the same words as if they were a poem. “I'm losing patience,please..Talk” I screamed, almost hitting the nurse beside me. “You've been placed on life support,and we're glad you're stable now.” My chest rose. Life support? “You're suffering from mild traumatic brain injury— there's a bruise on your brain,and it's swollen, affecting your visual cortex.” The doctor mumbled in medical terms as I tried to merge the meanings together. “Wh- what do you mean?” My voice trembled, lowered with fear. He was cutting through corners, and I was caught up in the haze of his words, struggling to understand. The door pushed open, another footsteps strutted towards the bed. “She'll be fine,sir ” The doctor said. Without saying a word, the person left. “Who is that?” I asked, no one answered. I didn't hear the person speak. I didn't feel the person's touch. Hot tears stung at the back of my eyes. “Can you remember anything?” The doctor asked, his voice calm. “Noooo” I said, not sure if I should answer or not, my voice cracked, close to tears. My thoughts travelled, and my memory slowly crept in. I tried to connect the dots - but nothing— just nothing— made sense at the moment. My head banged,and I lost my tongue, lungs tightened— suffocating as if a snake curled around my neck. It was so loud. That’s what I remembered most about the accident. It was so loud. “I'm sorry, you're temporarily blind” The doctor said, an hidden note of optimism in his voice. Heavy. Final. His words dropped like a huge stone falling on my head. Like a sledgehammer against my heart. “Wh-at did you say?” My voice broke, tears cascaded down my face. “I'm sorry, Mrs Collins” He said, the professional tone glinted in his words. A practiced kind of sympathy—one meant to brace patients for something worse. There was no hint of hope in his voice, as if my situation was worse than he explained. “Nooooo” I screamed, kicking the bedspread, my body jerked violently, my head hit against the headboard, the IV ripped from my arm. Pain seared through me—but it didn’t matter. The emotional pain drowned everything else. My world was falling apart. The doctor stepped forward and held my hand, initiating a restraint. “You'll hurt yourself, ma'am” The doctor mumbled, pity peeping beneath his words. I didn't deserve it. Warm blood trickled down my hand. “She's bleeding” he said to the nurse. “Get me the cotton swab and sedatives” the doctor shouted, his voice dripping with urgency. The nurse’s feet shuffled, followed by the clatter of metal against a trolley. She returned, and something cold me ,tingling the pain, a needle pricked my skin. My body slumped. My head tilted back. Everything went dark again. Back into the void I came from.