Hard to Love (Villaraza Series #1)

Kabanata 1

When I was younger, I thought I already knew what I ought to learn about boys. Most of them were vain and fickle. They were easy to control and easier to manipulate. They were fun until they weren’t.

But one stood out, and I learned the hard way.

Pinagmasdan ko ang aking repleksyon sa malaking salamin. I was wearing a green sweatshirt, black skinny jeans, and a pair of brown ankle boots. My hair was tied in a messy bun. I looked great with the little amount of makeup and pink lipstick.

Wow. Look at that goddess.

I was puckering my lips in front of the mirror when my phone lit up. Dali-dali ko iyong kinuha. The caller was Benj, my boyfriend.

“I’m here,” his baritone voice greeted me. “Bumaba ka na.”

“I’m on my way.” And I dropped the call.

Matapos hablutin ang mga dadalhin ko, dahan-dahan akong lumabas sa aking kuwarto. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang nakumpirmang patay na nga ang mga ilaw. They were all asleep.

Maingat ang bawat hakbang ko, determinadong huwag gumawa ng ingay.

Nang malapit na ako sa pinto ay agad ko iyong binuksan. Lumingon akong muli sa paligid para masigurong wala na ngang gising. Pagkatapos ay sinara ko ang pinto nang buong pag-iingat. Mayamaya pa ay halos takbuhin ko na ang gate!

Hinihingal na nilapitan ko si Benj na noon ay prenteng nakaupo sa kanyang motorsiklo at bahagyang nagulat sa biglaang paglapit ko. But nevertheless, his lips curved into a smile.

“Hi,” he whispered directly to my ear that made me jump a bit. “I missed you, hon.”

I cleared my throat and took a step backward. “Sina Jianne, nasa kina Hazel na ba?”

Namumungay ang mga matang tumango-tango siya sa akin. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya. Mahina niyang ikinatawa iyon.

“Tara na nga! Ang ingay-ingay mo,” anas ko.

He bit his lower lip and pinched my nose. “You’re so cute.”

I rolled my eyes. If he thought my knees would wobble because of his sweetness just like how other girls would react around him, then he was wrong.

“Hon, ‘wag na kaya tayong pumunta sa party,” he suggested that made me glare at him. Ngumiti siya at isinuot sa akin ang helmet. “Why don’t we spend time together? Just the two of us?”

“Tapos anong gagawin natin?”

“I don’t know.” He grinned naughtily. “Do something new and good? Something you’ll love while I’m doing it to you?”

I c****d a brow. “Calm your f*****g p***s before I cut that off, Benj.”

Tumawa siya. “Just kidding.”

Napairap ako. Such a p*****t.

Benj was my boyfriend for this week. Yes, for this week. Naging kami kahapon lang. Natalo kasi ako sa pustahan namin ng mga kaibigan ko. Because of that, they wanted me to make him my boyfriend for a week. I knew why, of all other things, they dared me this. Alam kasi nilang ayaw ko kay Benj, who was hitting on me that time. Why, he was so full of himself! Guwapo nga at lahat pero nakakairita!

Well, a dare is a dare. What’s the essence of a dare when it’s not challenging? Pero pakiramdam ko, inapi ako nang sagaran ng mga kaibigan ko dahil sa dare nilang ito.

Benj was known for being a womanizer. Por que habulin, akala niya lahat ay may gusto na sa kanya. I despised every bit of him.

After this week, I would make him see my point.

“Oo nga pala. May ipapakilala ako sa’yo mamaya,” aniya habang inaalis ang helmet sa akin.

“Sino?”

He smiled and trapped my face in his hands. “Later.” Then, he kissed my nose that startled me. “Let’s go.”

Pasimple kong pinunasan ang ilong ko. He was so touchy! Bakit ang tagal matapos ng linggong ito? I wanted to get rid of him already!

Pagkarating namin sa loob ng bahay ng mga Lagrada, nagtitiling sinalubong ako ni Hazel. She was the celebrant. It was her seventeenth birthday today and she organized a party in their backyard for her friends and blockmates.

Hindi katulad ng mga birthday party niya noon, iba ito. There was no cake, no formal dress, and no elderlies. Wala rin ang parents niya. It was just us, the music, and the boozes.

Yes, a real party.

“Happy birthday, Hazel!” bati ko saka inabot ang regalo ko.

Her eyes sparkled. “Thank you! I’m glad you made it here!”

“Of course! It’s your birthday. Walang makakapigil sa ‘kin na pumunta rito!”

Hazel was a friend of mine. She was a year older than me and already in college. We became friends because she was a friend of my best friend.

“Nasaan nga pala si Jianne?” I asked after I had withdrawn from the hug.

“Nasa likod-bahay. Kanina ka pa no’n hinihintay.” Napalingon siya sa lalaking tumabi sa akin. “Benj!”

“Happy birthday, Hazel. Mamaya na birthday gift ko sa’yo.”

Hazel met Benj yesterday. Nagkataon kasing nasa isang ice cream parlor kami ni Benj kahapon at naroon din si Hazel kasama ang mga kaklase niya. So I was forced to introduce them to each other. Alam ni Hazel ang naging dare sa akin nina Jianne. So she was curious who was this Benj my friends were talking about.

Hazel laughed. “Yeah, sure.” Iginala niya ang mga mata sa amin ng kasama ko. “So it’s true. You two are an item.”

She grinned at me and I rolled my eyes. That time at the ice cream parlor was the moment I agreed to be Benj’s girlfriend.

Inakbayan ako ni Benj na lalong nagpairita sa akin. “Yes, kahapon lang. Just some minutes after we were introduced.”

“Oh.” Her grin widened. “Habaan mo ang pasensya sa kaibigan kong ‘yan, Benj. Brat ‘yan.”

“Kaibigan ba talaga kita?” iritadong saad ko.

Tumawa lamang si Hazel. May mga bagong dating na bisita kaya nagpaalam na siya sa amin para i-entertain ang mga iyon. Benj and I decided to look for my other friends.

The house was in chaos. Pabalik-balik ang mga tao. Ilang beses na may nakabunggo sa balikat ko. Maingay din at paminsan-minsan ay may sumisigaw.

Nang narating namin ang likod-bahay, napanganga ako. Gone the serenity of the green lawn of the Lagradas. Maliwanag na maliwanag ang lugar dahil sa nagkalat na lights. There was a makeshift platform, too, where a disc jockey was stationed. Few were dancing along with the music. Karamihan ay nakaupo pa at naghahalikan.

“Seraf!” sigaw ni Jianne pagkakita sa akin. “Akala ko ‘di ka na pupunta!”

“Ako pa ba?” I flipped my hair and grinned.

“Hi, Benj!” Matamis na ngumiti si Jianne sa kasama ko. “So, how’s Seraf as a girlfriend? I would understand if you want to break up with her already.”

Benj laughed as his left arm found its way around my waist. “She’s a little hard to handle but I like her that way.”

Her mouth formed a circle and she gave me a teasing look. Sinimangutan ko lamang siya. Dumating na rin sina Ditas at Samantha, mga kaibigan ko rin. Just like most of the people here, they were curious, too, of my status with Benj. He was responsive to them.

“Oo nga pala, Benj,” Ditas interrupted Benj. “Nakumbinsi mo ba ‘yong pinsan mo?”

Heads turned to Benj, including mine. He smiled and slightly nodded. I heard some of us sigh, except for Samantha who gasped exaggeratedly.

“s**t!” Samantha fanned her hands on her face. “So you mean I’ll meet ArFa tonight?”

Benj nodded indulgently. Impit na napatili ang gaga. “Pero mamaya pa raw sila makakarating. May gig sila ngayon. Pagkatapos daw nila ro’n ay didiretso na sila rito.”

Samantha was a die-hard fan of ArFa just like Hazel. Sa aming magkakaibigan, silang dalawa ang madalas magkaintindihan pagdating sa bandang iyon. Sina Ditas at Jianne, fan din naman sila. But not too much. Ako naman, hindi ko masasabing fan ako o hater. I was just in the middle.

“Nai-imagine ko na ang magiging reaksyon ni Hazel pag-perform mamaya ng ArFa,” Jianne said. “Samantha, we need you to calm down later, okay? It’s Hazel’s birthday. It’s her day so please behave. Hayaan mong siya muna ang bumida sa ArFa mamaya.”

We decided to suprise Hazel later. Since she loved ArFa so much, we asked Benj to invite the band because one of the members was a cousin of his.

“And we need you to promise, Sam,” dagdag ni Ditas.

Samantha rolled her eyes. “Fine! But Iñigo is mine. She only has a minute to talk and touch him. Dahil ‘pag lumampas siya, magkalimutan na!”

“You like Iñigo?” nakangiting tanong ni Benj. “That cold guy?”

Samantha crossed her arms. “Yes. What’s wrong with his coldness? That makes him more attractive to me.”

“Kung wala lang talaga akong boyfriend ngayon,” nakangusong sabat ni Jianne, “aangkinin ko na rin si Matt.”

Ipinagpatuloy nila ang pag-uusap tungkol sa ArFa.

ArFa or Article of Faith, was a boyband. It was composed of five guys from different well-known universities. They didn’t appear on TV but they were quite popular, especially among college students. Regular performer ang banda sa isang bistro na pagmamay-ari ng kamag-anak ng isa sa kanilang kamiyembro. They performed on weddings, birthdays, and school events, too.

They were talented, good-looking, and rich kids which made them popular. Even at our school, marami ang nakakakilala sa ArFa. I saw them once when Samantha dragged me to the bistro. And yes, they deserved the praises.

Originally, apat ang miyembro ng ArFa. But just three weeks ago, may dumagdag. Sa pagkakaalam ko, Iñigo ang pangalan ng baguhan. He was now the vocalist of the band. Raffy, the former vocalist, was playing the bass guitar now. Raffy was that cousin of Benj.

Hindi ko pa nakikita ang bagong bokalista nila. But according to Samantha, Iñigo had a lot of fans already. His fans outnumbered those of the original members of the band. Kung guwapo raw ang mga dating miyembro, mas guwapo raw si Iñigo sa mga ito. I didn’t know if she was telling the truth or not. She had this tendency to exaggerate things. But if that was the case, then lucky him.

“Hoy, babae.” Napalingon ako kay Jianne na sumulpot bigla sa tabi ko. “Bakit nandito ka? Hinahanap ka ni Benj.”

“Don’t you dare . . .” I glared at her when she was about to call the guy.

She laughed. “You have been grumpy since yesterday.”

Away from the heart of the party, narito kami sa garden nina Hazel. I chose to leave the crowd and stay here to hide from Benj.

“I think you got him, Seraf.” Titig na titig sa akin si Jianne. “I think he really likes you.”

“He likes every girl he sees,” walang interes na sabi ko.

“No, I’m serious. I’ve been observing him for a time now. I think he’s really into you.”

“Don’t be fooled. He’s just playing around. Playboys are good actors. They will make you believe they are into you when they are not. And if ever he really likes me,” tumitig ako sa kanya, “sorry for him. I don’t feel the same way.”

Ngumisi siya at ginulo ang aking buhok. “Are you sure you’re 16 years old?”

“f**k you.”

Tumawa siya.

“Hindi ko na talaga kayang makasama pa si Benj,” alburoto ko.

“You have to fine, then. But I doubt Samantha and Ditas will let you off the hook. Nakita mo naman, ‘di ba? Tuwang-tuwa sila na buwisit na buwisit ka kay Benj.”

Yeah, right.

“Anong sasabihin mo kay Benj, if it’s time to break up with him?”

Tumingala ako sa langit at huminga nang malalim. “I don’t know. The usual, perhaps?”

“Usual?”

“That I realized we’re not going to work.” I yawned. “Kung ‘di ko siya makukumbinsi, then I’ll tell him the truth.”

“Na ano?”

Nilingon ko si Jianne. “That what we had was just a part of our game.”

I even doubted he would give a damn if I broke up with him.

“I can’t wait.” She looked excited. “If ever, drop the bomb in front of us. I want to see his face when you slap him the truth.”

“Sure. I’ll give you a show.”

My parents were against my friends. They were bad influence, they said. They really were. But they were my friends – true friends – and I loved them. I was never good at faking and pretending. Being friends with people who were like me, loud and didn’t give a f**k, I thought I was lucky.

Parehas kaming napatingin sa aming cell phone na nakapatong sa ibabaw ng wooden bench. It was a text from Ditas. Dumating na raw ang ArFa!

“Bantayan mo si Hazel. Make her busy as much as you can,” bilin sa akin ni Jianne habang naglalakad kami pabalik sa party. “And keep an eye on Samantha. You know that b***h. We asked her to stay with you and Hazel.”

Tumango ako.

I saw Hazel with Samantha and some of her blockmates. Nakaupo sila sa gilid ng pool at nagtatawanan. Lahat ay may hawak na bote ng alak.

“Seraf!” Ngumiti sa akin si Hazel at kumaway.

“Kanina pa kayo rito?”

Nagkatinginan kami ni Samantha pagkaupong-pagkaupo ko sa tabi niya.

“Hinahanap ka kanina ni Benj,” she said, ignoring my question. “Saan ka ba pumunta?”

“Ikaw pala ‘yong sinasabi ni Benj na bago niyang girlfriend,” nakangiting sabat ng isa sa mga kaklase niya. “Naku, ingat ka do’n!”

“Diyan lang sa tabi-tabi,” simpleng sagot ko kay Hazel saka binalingan ang kaklase niyang iyon. “I know how to handle him. Thanks for the advice, though.”

Naghugis-bilog ang bibig ng babaeng iyon at saka siya tumawa. Sinundan iyon ng iba. Nakangiting umiling-iling si Hazel at iniabot sa akin ang isang boteng hawak. Umiling ako.

Tumaas ang isang kilay niya. “Himala. Tumatanggi ka sa alak.”

“I might reek of alcohol tomorrow.”

“Grounded ka pa, ‘di ba?”

“Yes. So be pleased. I snuck out just to be here.”

Ipinakilala sa akin ni Hazel ang mga kaklase niya. Ilan sa kanila ay kilala ko na dahil minsan na niyang kasama sa tuwing nagkikita kami. They were cool. Ang ilan sa kanila ay kilala si Benj nang personal. Once in a while, ipinapaalala nila sa akin na mag-ingat ako sa lalaking iyon. Ngumingiti na lamang ako.

Nagkakamali sila. Si Benj dapat ang mag-ingat sa akin.

“Nakabalik na ba sina Ditas? Nagpaalam lang ang mga ‘yon na bibili ng kung ano sa labas,” tanong sa akin ni Hazel.

Sinulyapan ko si Samantha na noon ay nakatitig sa akin. “Hindi, e. Ano bang bibilhin nila?”

Habang nag-uusap-usap kami ay panaka-naka ang paglingon ko sa makeshift platform. Ganundin si Samantha. Tiningnan ko ang aking cell phone. What was taking them so long?

I was about to text Jianne when a piercing sound broke out. Then, I saw Benj on the makeshift platform holding the microphone.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry for the interruption, guys, but we have some very special guests who have just arrived and wanted to be with us.”

“Special guests?” ulit ni Hazel habang nakatitig kay Benj. Her eyes went to us. “Sinong mga dumating? May mga inaya kayo?”

Tumayo ako at lumapit saka siya niyakap mula sa likuran. “Happy birthday, Hazel.”

Samantha held her hand and made her stand up. She looked really flustered! Ano pa kaya mamaya?

“Hindi ba’t sabi ko sa’yo mamaya na ang regalo ko?” nakangiting sabi ni Benj habang nakatingin sa direksyon namin. “Well, ito na ‘yon. Sorry if you needed to wait. It’s just that . . . Well, they’re quite busy people. Actually, this wasn’t my idea but Jianne and your friends.’ But can I claim half of the credit, guys? I was the one who persuaded them to come! And persuading them wasn’t easy!”

The crowd laughed a bit. Nagkatinginan kami ni Samantha at napangiti sa isa’t isa.

“Oh, my God . . .” Natutop ni Hazel ang kanyang bibig.

“So, yeah. Happy birthday once again, Hazel! I wish you all the best! Sana magustuhan mo ‘tong munting surpresang hinanda namin para sa’yo. Let’s all welcome . . . ArFa!”