The Man Who Cried

Chapter 2 | Part 1

[ALI]

"BAKIT LATE ka na naman umuwi?" Gulat akong napatingin kay Dad na sumalubong sa 'kin pagkapasok ko sa pintuan. Akala ko makakalusot ako, e. Hindi pala. "Ang sabi mo, maaga kang uuwi ngayong araw. Tapos, halos alas-onse ka na umuwi."

"Maaga naman para sa bukas, 'di ba, Dad?" I tried kidding but his face never moved. Heto na naman siya sa seryoso niyang mukha na tila hindi mabiro. Meet my dad, a serious old guy who never laughs and never cries as well. "Sorry…"

"I'm not kidding, Ali," sagot ni Dad. Napayuko na lang ako ng ulo, alam ko na mangyayari dito. Mahaba-habang pagalit na naman ang aabutin ko nito, and I have nothing more I can do but to deal with it, because he’s my dad. f**k seniority. "You know how much I've been worried because you haven't come home yet, right? Hindi mo rin magawang sagutin ang tawag ko. Akala ko kung ano nang nangyaring masama sa ‘yo. Can you at least let your dad know what’s happening with your goddamn life?"

"Na-lowbat ako on my way, Dad." I scratched my head on frustration. Hindi ko naman sinasadyang hindi sagutin, e. My phone went off kanina. Binuksan ko, saka ko nakita ang missed calls. But that’s all I can think on my head because I cannot talk back at him or I’m dead. All I can say is… "I'm sorry."

"Just always carry your powerbank always with you, para may contact ako sa 'yo, Ali." He sat down on a chair and heaved a deep sigh. I know what he will going to say next. "I don't want to happen what happened to your mom sa 'yo, Ali. I hope you can understand me."

Bullseye, I assumed it will be his next statement. "I understand..."

"Sige, go to your room already. Mag-shower ka agad and sleep tight. Maaga tayong aalis bukas." I was stopped after he told me those statements. Napaangat siya ng kilay sa ‘kin na para bang kinukuwestiyon ang ginagawa ko. "Go."

"Papunta saan, Dad?" gulong tanong ko. Napa-angat ang kilay niya. May nakalimutan ba akong agenda para bukas? Oh f**k, I’m dead. What did I forget?

"Nakalimutan mong dalhin ang powerbank mo ngayon and you're forgetting your schedules," Dad replied with a worried face. "You're too young to have a dementia, son. By the way, tomorrow is your first day of training sa company. You should be early."

"Oh, I forgot, sorry. Yes, Dad. I will go up now."

"Last reminder," he uttered making me stop. "Bukas, you will be a trainee and not my son. Alam nila na anak kita but I told them not to go easy on you."

Napatango na lang ako. Wanna know something? Dad owns the largest perfume and clothing company. Siguradong walang hindi nakakaalam sa company ng pamilya namin. And, 'yon din ang company na pagtatrabahuhan ko.

I finished studying marketing in college just last year. Marketing is not my type but Dad told me to choose between business administration or marketing. I don't want to undergo business administration, so I have no choice. To conclude, me getting marketing was all my dad’s work and not mine. I wanted to get architecture but I can’t, because my dad opposes the idea.

And oh, so I forgot na bukas pala ang training ko sa company. I will be under the marketing unit. As a large company, they need more workers. Advantage na rin sa 'kin na anak ako ng may-ari mismo ng kompaniya, easy application, though. However, for sure, they will never go easy on me. Also, dad wants me to work under the company para mai-ready ako for the inheritance of the company. As his only inheritor.

I went inside the comfort room and undressed everything I am wearing until there was none. I stood up below the shower and pushed the button. Sinimulan kong hagurin ang itaas ng aking buhok, samantalang ang tubig ay patuloy na umaagos sa aking katawan.

Napatigil ako. My mind flashed something. Why am I even thinking of him? His face when he was crying... I don't see it as awful but as hot and sexy. What's happening with you, Ali? There’s something in his cry and wail that makes me uncontrollable, even I do not know what’s happening in my body.

My hands started to roam around my body. Tila may sarili siyang buhay at gumalaw hanggang sa naabot niya ang sarili kong dibdib. Hinawakan niya at pinisil-pisil ang naninigas nang n*****s ko. I eventually plucked my n*****s for a couple of times, again and again, as I enjoyed the pleasure of doing it continuously.

Even thinking of him makes me arouse. Ano bang nangyayari sa 'kin? Am I turning gay? And if I am, I have nothing against it… but it was my first time being aroused with someone on the same gender of mine.

My hand seemed to have its own life because it reached my member without me knowing. Dahil sa grabeng panibughong nararamdaman ko ay unti-unti nitong itinaas baba ang aking miyembro. Ewan ko ba kung anong nangyayari sa 'kin pero sinasabayan ko na lang. Wala naman akong magagawa kung tinamaan ako ng libido sa oras na 'to.

Sumasabay sa init ng tubig ay ang init na nararamdaman ng katawan ko. The way I think of him, mas lalo akong tinatamaan ng tawag ng laman. Every second that passes, mas lalong bumibilis ang galaw ng kamay ko. Sa bawat pagbilis ng galaw ng kamay ko ay ang mahihinang halinghing na galing sa 'king bibig.

"Ugh," I moaned as I reached my climax. There spurted out my juices and approached the wall. The heat was released as my juice squirted out. Kaagad kong hinabol ang aking hininga. "Anong nangyayari sa 'kin? Did I just ejaculate while thinking a guy like me? I have to figure out what’s happening to me…"

I washed my member and continued taking a bath already. After being done with showering, I wore my clothes at dumiretso sa aking kama. Hindi pa rin mawala sa aking isip ang umiiyak na imahe ng lalaking ‘yon. I already have released the heat in my body but it seemed like I am ready enough again to release more heat while thinking of him.

Nahiga ako do'n habang nasa ibaba ng aking ulo ang aking dalawang kamay. Hindi ko talaga alam ang nangyayari sa 'kin. Why am I thinking of him? Why am I having lust on him? I am feeling bad for ejaculating while thinking of him… and I was also embarrassed.

It shouldn't be love at first sight, right? It's more of a lust at first sight. At, I feel sorry for thinking of him while doing my business.

I was a straight man ever since. Though, I haven't experienced having an intercourse with an opposite s*x. No'ng tumuntong ako ng college, nagkaroon ako ng mga girlfriends and girl flings, but I managed to stay virgin. Whenever those girls ask for s*x, I say no and stop them from doing something more. Tarantado ako pero hindi ako ‘yong tipo na devirginizer. Maybe that’s the reason why I’m consecutively dumped.

I have never been in loved or had a desire for someone on same s*x. Ngayon lang siguro, oh hindi? Hindi pa ako sure sa feelings ko. I have already been in love and it was the exact feeling I had… but there’s something that makes me think that it’s possible that it’s not love… instead just lust.

I scratched my head. So, I fell in love with a man this time? Is it possible for me to fall in love with a man? Those thoughts linger in my head like crazy. I am stopping myself from thinking him but I can’t.

"What was his name again, the man who cried?" like crazy, I asked myself. Thinking of him draws a smile on my face. Am I going crazy or what? "Yes. Simon is the name. Makikita pa kaya kita ulit?"

---

"LET'S WELCOME your new member," anang wika ni Dad habang nasa tabi niya ako. Kaharap namin ang members ng marketing department. Nakatingin din sa 'kin ang terror na team leader ng marketing strategy team. "As you all know, this is Ali, my son. Nasabi ko na rin sa inyo na kahit anak ko siya, there will be nothing special for him. Train him like how you train other trainees."

They all smiled. Mga plastik. "Yes, sir."

"Good morning po," I greeted with so much respect in it. Minsan nga lang ako mag-po, tititigan lang nila. Kung hindi lang ako junior dito, inalis ko na sila sa mga posisyon nila, pero siyempre… good boy muna ako habang mababa pa lang rank ko. "Hope to have good cooperation with you."

They just nodded at me. So, gano'n pala. Dad must have commanded them to be this cold to me. Dad is really eager to make my life more miserable. "Don't go easy on him just because he's my son, train him well, guys. Back to work!"

Kaniya-kaniya na silang naupo sa kanilang mga upuan. Inokupa ko na lamang ang bakanteng upuan na nasa pinakagilid. Inilabas ko ang laptop ko at akmang bubuksan nang may nag-paste ng sticky notes sa laptop ko. Tinignan ko lang ang kung sinong naglapag ng sticky notes na ‘yon sa laptop ko. Ang usapan ‘ka mo, strict, hindi bastos. Ano ‘to?