The Man Who Cried

Chapter 5 | Part 1

[ALI]

“WHERE DO you go every night that I always catch you going home late, Ali?” That was my dad, for sure. Nang umuwi ako sa bahay, naabutan ko siyang nakaupo sa sofa na nakalagay sa sala. Akala ko kasi tulog na siya, I never thought he’d be awake at this moment. “Care to answer me, son?”

He’s back again to being a detective. Sana pala nag-pulis na lang siya kung ganito niya ako gigisahin halos araw-araw. “My friend’s grandpa passed away and I went to their barrio to send my condolences, dad…” That’s the only thing I replied. Pagod na nga ako dahil sa mahabang biyahe, ganito pa ang salubong niya sa ‘kin, pero wala akong magagawa kung hindi ang manahimik o maririnig ko na naman ang mga bagay na ginawa niya para sa ‘kin. Ang hilig nitong manumbat.

“And you are going there almost every day?” He raised his brow, looking at me. Hanggang ngayon, naka-cross pa rin ang parehong mga braso at paa niya. “Ali, you are a grown-up man already. You have to see what is your commitment and what is not. You already have a work for now. Mas importante pa ba ‘yong burol ng lolo ng kaibigan mo kaysa sa trabaho mo? As long as I am your boss in your workplace, I monitor your movement inside the company, Ali. Your team leader also told me that you are not doing well on your job. Nagrereklamo na ang mga ahead sa ‘yo sa marketing department.”

I looked below. He said it himself, I am already a grown-up man… so do I need to be monitored, still? Sakal na sakal na ako sa pangangalaga ng dad ko, to be honest. Kahit nandito lang ako sa bahay, monitored ako. Para akong isang criminal na nakakulong sa impyernong bahay na ‘to. “Yes, dad…” I replied. Despite all the complaints I have in my mind, that is the only statement I uttered in response to his agenda. I am trying to cope up with my dad but it seems that I can’t. Is it my fault that I grew up being a mama’s boy? Now, I suffer the most after my mom passed away. “I will go up, dad. Maaga pa po ako bukas. Matutulog na po ako.”

Tumango siya. Bago pa man ako maglakad ay tumayo muna siya at tinapik ng dalawang beses ang balikat ko. “Sleep well, son. Do your best later at your work,” he told me. I never responded to that, instead, I started walking up the stairs. “I love you, son…”

I acted like I never heard it. I always hear that thing from him but I never felt the love he has for me. He always says that he loves me but he never shows it. At times like this, I miss my mom more. I miss her hugs and kisses when my dad scolds me. She’s my defendant from anybody who wants to hurt me. She’s my only ally… and now that she’s gone, I felt like nobody is on my side.

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“GET A cup of coffee for me, trainee,” the team leader commanded me to do. Hindi ko siya pinansin. I am doing my own job so why would he bother me to get coffees again from the farthest coffee shop in town? “Bingi ka ba?”

“Lumpo ka ba?” sagot ko sa kaniya. Kitang-kita ang gulat at galit sa kaniyang mukha nang hindi inaasahan kong sabihin ‘yon. Hindi na ako takot sa kanila. ‘Yon lang naman ang mga kaya nilang gawin, ang mang-api ng mga taong mas mababa ang posisyon sa kanila. “Wala ka naman atang diperensiya sa kamay o sa paa para maging lumpo at hindi makapunta sa paborito mong coffee shop, ‘di ba?”

Tumaas ang kilay niya. “Ah, sumasagot ka na, ha?” aniya pa. Ramdam ko ang gigil sa boses niya at tila pinipigilan niya ang sarili na saktan ako. “Kahit na anak ka pa ng boss natin dito, mas mataas pa rin ang ranggo ko sa iyo, Ali. P’wede kitang utusan ng kahit ano, sa gusto mo man o sa hindi.”

“Paano kung ayaw ko?” sagot ko sa kaniya. Itinaas niya ang kaniyang kamay at aktong sasampalin ako ngunit natigil ‘yon nang magsalita ako. “Kahit na sabihin nating mas mataas ang ranggo mo sa ‘kin, I can still file a case to against your doings. Slapping me inside the office is a form of violence, lalo na’t madami ang makakakita dito. Plus, there are tons of surveillance camera. Do not forget that I am still a Sonata, I have the whole freedom on everything that is my father’s ownership.”

Natigil siya sa mga sinabi ko at tinignan ang mga taong nakamasid sa aming dalawa. “Just get my coffee, right now!” he scowled. I released a smirk, teasing him. “Once you disobey my commandments, makakarating ‘to sa dad mo. I will make sure to get you a good scolding from him.”

“‘Kay. Sanay na akong mapagalitan ni dad sa bahay hanggang dito sa kompaniya. Hindi mo ako masisisi kung hindi na ako natatakot sa mga ganiyang banta ng tulad mo, sir.” I sat down on my chair and started typing on my laptop. Doing this errand is much more important that doing his pathetic commandments. “And for your information, sir. This task was given to me by our own boss. Kapag hindi koi to natapos dahil sinunod ko ang gusto mo, I will blame this on you. I will also make sure you will get a good scolding from my father… our boss, I mean, for us to be fair enough. Would you want that as a deal?”

Natahimik lang siya. Tinignan niya ang mga kasamahan namin sa marketing department, and noticed that their eyes have been fixed on him. I am sure everyone in this department also experienced this type of slavery from this f*****g team leader of us. “Mayumi, come with me,” he muttered before leaving the door. Mayumi also followed him outside to where they will go. I am sure he’s embarrassed that he can never reply to my threat for him.

Napansin kong nakatingin ang mga babae kong co-workers sa ‘kin. I actually do not know why they seem fixing their gaze on me. Did I do something right or wrong this time? Never mind, I do not care actually.

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“YOU NEVER failed to not come here, Ali…” pagpansin sa ‘kin ni Evan. It was the last day of his grandfather’s burial… meaning it is already the last day that I will get to see Simon on this barrio. “Masiyado kang committed na pumunta dito araw-araw, ah? Balita ko napapagalitan ka na sa trabaho mo at ng dad mo. Sabagay, sanay ka rin naman pala sa pagalit ng tatay mo. Ikaw lang ang tumagal sa tatlo kong kaibigang taga-Maynila at umabot hanggang huling gabi ng tatang ko.”

“Exactly,” I retorted. Naupo si Evan sa upuan na nasa tabi ko. “That old guy always rants about me and everything I do in my life. Actually, nakakasakal na pero wala akong magagawa. He always treats me as a kid, that must always be moving according to his commands. He always says that he loves me but he’s showing the opposite. Hindi ko nga alam kung dapat ba akong magpasalamat na ganiyan niya ako tratuhin o dapat na ba akong magreklamo.”

“Bakit hindi mo na lang kasi tanggapin ‘yong alok niya na manahin mo ‘yong kompaniya niya? Kung ako ‘yon, kinuha ko na ‘yon. Milyon-milyong rin makukuha mo do’n once na naging sa ‘yo ‘yon nang buo,” sagot ko sa kaniya na nagpatahimik sa kaniya. “Sorry na, mukhang pera kasi ako pero depende pa rin naman ‘yon sa ‘yo kung tatanggapin moa ng alok niya. Hindi na naman kasi mapigil ang matabil kong bunganga.”

“Actually, ayos lang naman sa ‘kin kung gan’yan ang opinyon mo pero kasi…” Natigil ako ng ilang Segundo bago ako nagsalitang muli sa harap ni Evan. “Iba kasi ang tatay ko, Evan. Once na tinanggap mo ‘yong alok niyang ‘yon. Asahan mo nang may hinihintay siyang kapalit; the thing that I hate the most. He always has this consequence after offering you some good offer. Siyempre gusto ko ng pera pero mas gusto ko sana ‘yong perang ako ang nagpalago. Sino bang may ayaw sa pera? The problem is that it was my dad’s money that he earned running the business for almost thirty years, even before I was born. Siguradong isusumbat niya na naman sa ‘kin ‘to kapag nakuha ko na ang kompaniya.”

Napatango si Evan. “Sabagay, hindi pa ba ako nasanay sa tatay mo? Masiyado ‘yong strikto at gustong nasusunod ang lahat ng gusto niya. No offense pero kahit mayaman ang tatay mo, ayaw ko siyang maging tatay. At swerte na akong hindi ko nga siya naging tatay,” he muttered, leaving us smiling on the thought. He is indeed lucky, he’s not the only son of the older Sonata. “Hindi ba palagi mong kinakausap si Simon kapag nandito ka? Para ngang mas close pa kayo kaysa sa ‘kin. Ba’t hindi mo siya kausapin, probably, nasa labas lang rin ata ‘yon…?”