Thoughts Around You

The Meeting

Walking down this path of gravel,

breathing in the smell of freshly lawned grassfield, with a mixture of rain that caressed the grounds hours before the sun decided to show up, my mind went to that first morning that I saw your face. There was a certain buzz in the air that day. Everyone was excited to see each other, see what changes we had during the summer and things we look forward to in this last year of highschool. I was with my friends and we were still looking for our homeroom when someone pointed you out.

"He's gonna be in our class."

"I thought he was in Honors?"

Their voices faded away and I thought what could have made the teachers move you to a subpar class when you were already on top.

Maybe he wasn't smart enough, I thought to myself.

Because it was not news to me that boys were dumb. All they know at that time was players in the current league of NBA. Ask them and they readily know the answer. Tell them to compose an essay, answer a math problem or figure out how to balance an equation and their constant resolution is cheating.

And they do not only do it in school.

As young as we are then, I have known that somehow, the evil had infiltrated their souls and made a host of their bodies. Although they're not fully aware of it, as dumb as they are, it still does not give them an excuse to act as rudely as they do.

Anyways, without even talking to you, I categorized you as the streotype right away. After that few seconds thought that lingered around you, my mind moved on to new topics of gossip.

How I wished that was the case always.

Once we were all settled in to our new homeroom, the class adviser stood in the center and introduced herself. She was around her 30s at that time, a plump woman who will also teach us Physics.

After her introduction, she instructed us to introduce ourselves to the class. When it was your turn, there was a lot of cheering going on. I knew you were from Honors but I didn't know you had friends here.

You stood up, confidently, not the streotyped posture of boys in our class, smiled at everyone and introduced yourself. There was a hoarse quality in your voice, that at that time it was nothing to me, but for the years to come, that same voice made my heart flip over a million times.

But still, at that very moment, you were insignificant to me.

I didn't know at that time you would be the reason why I'll write these stories for. I didn't know you'll be my greatest heartache. I didn't know that I'd spend countless nights crying for you, asking the Universe why I can't have you.

I didn't know you'd have a huge impact in my life

But if I knew, would I change anything?

I've loved you still even though I know I shouldn't. So I guess, no.

Because athough I have found my happiness and tell myself I've moved on, there are still moments in my life where I picture us together in a parallel universe, or in another lifetime:

Purely happy and no regrets.