The Playlist

Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind? How could you change your mind? *** We've been together for 8 long years. The best friends from high school turned lovers. It was the typical love story of how a timid student falls in love with her famous best friend. A supposed to be one-sided love that was actually mutual from both sides. It was the happiest memories of our high school days. There was not a day in high school that we're not with each other's side. Our friends would often tease us and be annoyed with our sweetness. Well, they can't blame us, we were young but we know how deep our love is with each other. High school is where we spend a lot of our first together, first relationship, first love, first date, first kiss and our first night together. Needless to say, it was a memorable night. We were both nervous but excited, after many heated make-out session that almost pushes us to go further, that night we finally give in. I didn't think that I would find an addiction, but spending the night with the love of my life, kissing all of her, feeling every touch of her skin on my skin, makes me high that no other drugs could do. (Not that I've tried drugs or anything like that.) "You make me crazy, Ren. So crazy in love with you." Then college comes and this is where the challenge really starts. We took a different course, I choose to study fine art while you choose medicine. It was the dream of us both, I've always wanted to pursue a career that will let use my passion in art, mostly painting while you wanted to follow your parent's footstep at becoming a doctor. We supported each other with our dreams even if it means that we'll be studying at different colleges. We trust each other and our relationship enough even though we're 9mil away from each other.  "I want to have a future with you Sophia. So let's work hard to have that okay?" The first year was tolerable to say, we missed each other every single day but we made sure to always be in contact. We were calling each other every single night until it was late. I don't even care if I only have an hour left to sleep before my morning class begins, I would willingly exchange my time to sleep so I could talk to you longer. My favorites are the weekend because we're both free from any classes and we can see each other. We alternate of who's going to who but most of the time it would be me that would go to your place. It's convenient for both of us because you have an apartment for yourself that's near your school. Often times we would just stay at the comfort of your apartment, watching all those sappy movies and enjoying each other's presence. We were content with just that, all we need is each other.  "I wish we could stay like this forever." Of course, it's not always like that in college. There comes a time where we both have busy schedules, our classes become a lot harder and the pressure to pass the subjects begins to eat us. Our nightly calls turn into simple messages of 'how's your day' to nothing at all. We were tired all day to even composed a simple message. Our weekly date becomes once a month and even several months before we could finally see each other. And there was this one time when we had our very first serious fight. It's been almost three months since the last time we saw each other, and when we were given a chance to finally meet up, I didn't think twice to go to your place. I've missed you terribly and I can't wait to finally see you again. I was expecting a warm hug, cuddles under your blanket while the movies on that we won't even bother to watch cause we'll be busy with each other. We actually got to the cuddle part but one particular call from a person you've been keeping an eye on turns a supposed to be relaxing time to a one big fight. "I didn't know you were this close to actually call each other at this time of the night?" You had your doubt ever since I introduced you to one of my closest friend that I meet at my college. The girl was actually nice and was the first person that talked to me when I started college. Knowing that I was shy around new people the girl was easy going and we instantly hit it off as friends. And that's all we'll ever be, friends but clearly, you have other ideas. You said I was too close with her to be just her friend, you said I spend too much time with her than you who's supposed to be my girlfriend and you said you could feel that I was starting to be cold to you. To top it off you accuse me of cheating. I was damn tired that day, I didn't have a single sleep before that day cause I stayed all night to finish a project so I could spend the next day with you. I travel almost two hours to get to your place and this is what I get? I exploded, I was tired, angry and sad. I couldn't believe you would actually think I was capable of doing that to you. There was nothing to be jealous of in the first place because that girl has someone else. I don't get where all of your assumptions came from. We both are busy with our own studies, we can't spend time together because we were working hard for our future. We have a promise with each other you know that so I don't really know why your feeling all of that. I shouted at you which was a first because every time we argue in the past I always apologize first and make-up with you. I don't like fighting with you because I don't want to see your eyes with those tears, I hate it when you cry because it would also break my heart. But at that moment I lost control and I was not thinking exactly straight, my emotions got the best of me. And I said words that I never thought I would ever say to you. "I can't do this anymore, Irene." The moment I said those words I can see the pain in your eyes and damn never did I wish I could take back what I said than that moment. I can almost hear my heart breaks when I saw the hurt in your eyes and I hated myself for causing that. I never meant what I said, it was just a thoughtless word that I utter in the heat of the moment. I was about to take back what I said but I stopped with what you did. You kneeled and hug my torso while those tears continue to stain your pretty face. I was stunned with that that I almost didn't hear what you were saying. "N-no, please Sophia don't leave me, please i'm begging you. Don't leave me." And as is my heart was not already crushed when I heard you beg. Damn, you were begging while on your knees. You were begging me not to leave you.  My heart couldn't take any more pain that I've given you that night. I got on my knees too and hug you tightly. I was bawling my eyes while saying a bunch of apologies. Hell, how did I even think of living a life without you? I must have lost my mind when I said those words. I can't lose you Irene, I don't wanna lose you. You were my everything, and I'm sure as hell you are the only person that I would love. I couldn't imagine my world without you because you are basically my world, Irene. I love you so much that I would go crazy without you.  "Oh god Irene, I could never leave you, never." That was the biggest fight we had all throughout college but it made our relationship stronger. We both did everything to make sure nothing like that will happen again, you finally got over your jealousy when my friend introduced her girlfriend to us when we had that double date. We survive four years of struggling to balance studies with life and love. We graduated and I got lucky to land a job in a company right after my graduation and you started your residency in the hospital where your parents are working also. What's even better was the company I was working is just around from where the hospital is. So we decided to move in and live together. I almost couldn't believe it when we were finally laid on our bed in the apartment that we choose together. We're almost there, we were so close to our dreams. We graduated from college and now we're living together. That night was one of the happiest night I could remember. We were just laying there, arms wrapped around each other with a big smile on our faces, talking about our future together. At that moment I actually saw us building a family together. We were both so happy. Until one night when we were both laying in our bed after an exhausting day we had at each others work, I was already closing my eyes and ready to sleep until you said those words that completely destroyed me. "I'm not happy anymore Sophia." I can still fix it, that's what running on my mind when you said that. I can still do something, I can still make our relationship work. I can still make you happy. But what you said next kills me in a way I didn't expect. "I've been cheating on you."