Unpredictable Love

Irene's POV Time passes hastily. Sometimes, I wonder whether life is simply moving too fast or whether I am the one who has been standing still. It has been two months since I forced myself to start living differently—to live as though I were a man with no fear of what tomorrow might bring, as though I could simply wake up each morning and decide what my future would look like. But the truth is, I have no idea what awaits me at the end of this road. I don't even know where this road is taking me. Will I grow old alone? Will there come a day when I finally retire from working, sit quietly somewhere, and watch the sunset disappear beyond the horizon with no one beside me? Or will there be someone sitting next to me? Someone who will appreciate the twilight hours as much as I do. Someone who will smile when I smile, laugh when I laugh, and listen patiently as I tell stories about the joys and sorrows that shaped my life. Perhaps we will hold hands without feeling embarrassed. Perhaps we will walk slowly together, our fingers intertwined, just like two young lovers who have forgotten that time is passing. Maybe, even when our hair has turned grey and our bodies have grown weaker, our hearts will still remember what it feels like to fall in love. The thought makes me smile. Then reality returns. I don't know what destiny has written for me. Perhaps none of us truly does. Our paths are constantly being shaped by the decisions we make, the people we meet, and the mistakes we regret. Sometimes our minds change before our hearts are ready to follow. So, for now, I have decided to stop forcing things. If someone is meant to enter my life, perhaps they will come naturally. I will let destiny carry me where it wants. For the moment, I am simply trying to rebuild myself. To become comfortable with my own company. To bring myself closer to the person I want to become before I worry about who might stand beside me when I grow old. After all, there is no point searching for someone to love when I haven't even learned how to love the person staring back at me in the mirror. Love. What a strange thing it is. It can appear when we least expect it, in the most unexpected place, with the most unexpected person. We don't get to choose when our hearts begin to beat differently. We don't get to decide whose smile will stay in our minds long after they have disappeared from our sight. And sometimes, we don't even realize we are falling until we are already too far gone. Perhaps love is an instinct. Something that has been placed inside every human heart since the beginning of creation. Maybe that is why no matter how badly we have been hurt, we still continue searching for it. We still want to be loved. We still want to love. Because perhaps life itself is built around love. And perhaps the heart was always destined to find someone to love. I thought I had already learned that lesson. Until someone with a dimpled smile came along and ruined my concentration. He appeared in the most unexpected place, like a sudden breeze brushing against my ear before disappearing again. Yet somehow, that brief moment was enough to disturb everything I had carefully arranged inside my head. I still don't understand why I reacted so easily. Why did one person have the ability to occupy my thoughts without even trying? Why did one smile make me forget what I was supposed to be doing? "Why am I acting like this?" I asked myself more than once. And every time, I tried to push the feeling away. I had only recently broken off my engagement. That alone should have been enough reason for me to keep my distance from anyone new. The relationship had never truly felt right to me. I knew that long before the engagement ended. But the fact remained that someone had once placed a ring on my finger. Someone had once believed that I would become his wife. Even if I hadn't loved him the way I was supposed to, ending something that had once been called a future still left a strange emptiness behind. So I was confused. I was afraid. And perhaps that was why I kept playing this ridiculous game of hide-and-seek with Zhe. Whenever he appeared, I wanted to look at him. Whenever he looked at me, I wanted to look away. Whenever I thought I might have a chance to speak to him, I suddenly became interested in whatever happened to be in front of me. It was absurd. But Zhe felt different. Different from the men who had come and gone through my life without leaving anything behind. There was something mysterious about him. His eyes were bright, almost impossible to ignore, and his smile carried a sweetness that could soften even the most stubborn heart. He was the kind of man who could make women regret ignoring him. The kind who could make someone wonder why they had taken their own feelings for granted. And, unfortunately for me, there were already enough rumors surrounding him. Perhaps that should have been my warning. Instead, it only made me more curious. "Hey." The word escaped my lips before I could stop myself. I had been doing my chores when I noticed Zhe walking past. It was the second time I had seen him that day. The first time we met had also been here, at my workplace. I had only been helping my friend for about a week at his VVIP club. My boss, Mr. Vick, treated me like his own younger sister, and on that particular day, he had been sitting with Zhe and several of his friends, enjoying a glass of wine. Zhe and I hadn't spoken much. Actually, we barely spoke at all. I still remembered the way he looked at me that first time. A brief, almost expressionless glance. A look so unreadable that I couldn't tell whether he had noticed me at all. But this time was different. Zhe turned toward me. And smiled. "Hi." Just one word. Two letters. Yet somehow, my heart reacted as though he had said something much more meaningful. I stared at him for a second longer than I should have. Then I quickly looked away. "Do you want to go back now?" I asked, mostly because I didn't know what else to say. Zhe stopped. "Yes." That was it. One word. Then came the smirk. A tiny movement at the corner of his lips before he turned away. I clenched my teeth. Seriously? I had expected at least a little conversation. Instead, I was left standing there like an i***t. I watched him walk away. My eyes followed him until he disappeared from my sight. That man was mysterious. Far too mysterious for my own good. I wanted to know more about him. Who was he? What kind of person was he when nobody was watching? Why did he always seem so calm? And why did his smile make me feel like something inside my chest had suddenly become restless? I silently prayed for another opportunity to talk to him. Then immediately scolded myself. Psycho. I shook my head and returned to work. I had better things to think about. Or at least, I should have. --- My days had become increasingly busy since I started working there. Perhaps that was a good thing. Being busy meant having less time to think. Less time to remember. Less time to wonder why certain memories still hurt even when I knew they belonged in the past. Sometimes, I found more pleasure in watching other people laugh and talk than in trying to find love in a place where nobody really cared what I was doing. At least, that was what I kept telling myself. "Irene, have you eaten your lunch?" Gina's voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned around. She was walking toward me with the familiar concerned expression she always wore whenever she thought something was wrong. Gina was the only girl here who seemed to understand me without demanding an explanation. We had known each other for some time, but somehow, she had learned to read me better than most people ever had. Since I began working with Mr. Vick, she had treated me like family. She looked at me carefully. "You look very pale. Are you all right?" "I'm fine." I smiled. It was a forced smile. Gina immediately saw through it. "No." She shook her head. "You can't fool anyone with that face and that fake smile." I tried to laugh. "Maybe you just know me too well." "Maybe." She crossed her arms. "We may not have known each other forever, Irene, but I've learned your body language." She stepped closer. "I know when you're pretending." I looked away. "I'm really fine. Please don't worry about me." Gina sighed. "This place isn't somewhere you should have to pretend everything is okay when it isn't." Her voice softened. "You should love yourself more than you love everyone else." I looked at her. She continued. "If you keep putting everyone else's feelings before your own, one day you'll realize you've forgotten yourself." Her words struck deeper than I wanted them to. I lowered my eyes. Suddenly, I could feel the familiar pressure behind them. Tears. I hated crying in front of people. Especially when I couldn't even explain why I was crying. Maybe I wasn't crying because of what Gina had said. Maybe I was crying because someone had finally said the words I had been too afraid to admit to myself. I wasn't okay. Not completely. Not yet. I had spent two months pretending that I was strong. Pretending that ending my engagement had been easy. Pretending that I didn't care. Pretending that I was perfectly happy to start over. But sometimes pretending becomes exhausting. And sometimes, all it takes is one kind person asking, Are you okay? I couldn't answer. Instead, I stepped forward and hugged Gina. I held her tightly as though she were my own sister. She didn't ask any more questions. She simply placed one hand on my back and gently patted me. And somehow, that silence meant more than words ever could. --- The Following Day I arrived at work slightly later than usual. The moment I stepped inside, I saw him again. Zhe. Of course. For a second, I froze. He was standing with his friends, talking casually as though the entire world belonged to him. I wondered whether he had noticed me. He didn't look my way. Or perhaps he pretended not to. I couldn't decide which possibility bothered me more. I tried to walk past without paying attention. But my eyes betrayed me. I looked at him. Again. His friend noticed. He followed my gaze and caught me staring. Instead of making it awkward, he nudged Zhe lightly. Zhe turned. His friend smiled and waved at me. I smiled back and lifted my hand. I had seen that man with Zhe several times before. I didn't know his name. But somehow, I knew he knew mine. There was something about the way he looked at me that made me think they had talked about me. Before Zhe's friend could say anything, I heard a familiar voice. "Irene." I turned. Mr. Vick was calling me. "How are you doing?" "I'm doing fine." I smiled. "Everyone here has treated me wonderfully. It's almost like I'm part of the family." Mr. Vick smiled proudly. "That's exactly how it should be." He looked around the club. Then his expression became nostalgic. "So, how is your life?" I remained quiet. "It has been a while since I told you that I was going to build an empire where all of us could sit around a warm dining table and have good food." He laughed. "Look at this place now." He opened his arms toward the club. "I really made it happen. Just like I promised you—and everyone who stayed with me through the difficult years." I smiled. "I am proud of you." I meant it. Mr. Vick had come a long way. Then my smile faded slightly. "To be honest, I'm barely starting over again." I lowered my voice. "I had failures in my relationship, my finances, and my career. Nothing went the way I dreamed it would." I paused. "I even had an argument with my boss. He decided to transfer me to Johor, but I refused." I looked down briefly. "That's why I'm here again." Mr. Vick listened quietly. I was careful with my voice. Not because I didn't trust him. I did. But because I could feel someone watching me. I didn't need to look. I already knew. Zhe. His eyes had been on me for several moments. I could feel the weight of his gaze from across the room. My cheeks became warm. I hated that. Why was I embarrassed? Why did I suddenly feel like every word I said mattered? I lowered my voice even further. "I didn't know where else to go." Mr. Vick gave me a gentle smile. "Don't worry." His voice carried the warmth of an older brother. "Remember, you only have to work hard for your future." He paused. "And if you ever need anything, tell me." I shook my head. "You don't have to feel guilty or shy about speaking your mind. We're family here, remember?" I smiled. "Thank you." I meant it. "I really appreciate your support and advice." Mr. Vick nodded. "Good." He patted my shoulder. "That's what family is for." I smiled again. But my attention drifted for just a second. Across the room, Zhe was still looking at me. I immediately looked away. My heart fluttered. Stop it, Irene. I reminded myself. He's just looking at you. So why did it feel like something more? --- Mr. Vick had always been a good person. I still remembered the first time I met him. I had only just turned twenty-one. Back then, I never imagined that the man standing in front of me would become someone I trusted like an older brother. He wasn't merely my CEO. He was someone who had guided me when I didn't know which direction to take. He had told me about his own journey—the failures, sacrifices, and challenges he had faced before finally becoming successful. He was a father to two beautiful sons. He had also told me about losing his wife. That part of his story had always stayed with me. Despite everything he had gone through, he continued moving forward. That was what inspired me about him. He didn't only teach me about money or business. He taught me how to recognize a genuine person. How to understand people. How to empathize. How to remain humble even when life finally gives you everything you once prayed for. There were many reasons I trusted his advice. His life was proof that success was rarely created without sacrifice. But perhaps the most important thing he taught me was this: A person could lose everything and still begin again. Maybe that was what I needed to hear now. Because I was trying to begin again too. I had lost a relationship. I had lost financial stability. I had lost confidence in my career. And somewhere along the way, I had lost a small part of myself. But I was trying to find her again. Slowly. One day at a time. I ended my conversation with Mr. Vick and politely excused myself. "I'll get back to work." "All right." He smiled. "Take care of yourself." "I will." I turned around. And immediately regretted it. Because Zhe was still there. Still watching. For a moment, our eyes met. Everything around me seemed to fade. The voices. The music. The movement of people walking around us. All of it became distant. There was only him. And me. And that strange silence between two people who barely knew each other. His eyes didn't leave mine. Neither did mine leave his. Then I became aware of what I was doing. I looked away first. My heart was beating far too quickly. What is wrong with me? I walked away. Faster than necessary. I could practically feel the butterflies moving inside my stomach. It was ridiculous. I barely knew him. He had spoken to me only a handful of times. He hadn't even done anything. And yet somehow, he had managed to occupy a space in my mind that I had carefully kept empty. I hated that. Or perhaps... I was beginning to like it. I didn't know which possibility frightened me more. --- That night, I lay awake thinking about the day. I told myself I was thinking about work. Then about Mr. Vick. Then about my future. Then about everything except Zhe. But somehow, his face kept appearing in my mind. That smile. Those eyes. The small dimple that appeared whenever his lips curved upward. I turned over in bed. "Stop." I whispered to myself. "He doesn't even know you." I closed my eyes. But instead of disappearing, his image became clearer. I remembered the first time he had looked at me. The second time. The way he had said Hi. The smirk after I asked if he was going back. Such small things. Meaningless things. Yet my mind kept collecting them as though they were precious memories. Maybe attraction didn't always arrive dramatically. Maybe it didn't come with flowers, confessions, or grand gestures. Maybe sometimes it began with nothing more than a glance. A smile. A brief conversation. A person walking past you at the exact moment your heart was vulnerable enough to notice. I sighed. Perhaps that was why I was afraid. I had only just escaped one relationship. I wasn't ready to enter another. At least, that's what I told myself. But if I wasn't ready... Why was I already wondering when I would see him again? I stared at the ceiling. There was no answer. Only the uncomfortable truth slowly forming inside me. Zhe had taken my attention. And I had a terrible feeling that he wasn't going to give it back easily. --- The following days became strangely predictable. I worked. I laughed with Gina. I helped Mr. Vick whenever he needed me. I tried to focus on rebuilding my life. And somewhere between all of those ordinary moments... Zhe kept appearing. Sometimes I saw him with his friends. Sometimes he passed by without saying anything. Sometimes our eyes met from across the room. Sometimes he smiled. Sometimes he didn't. But every time he appeared, my attention followed. I began to hate myself for it. I also began to wonder if he noticed. Perhaps he did. Perhaps he didn't. There were moments when I thought he was deliberately looking for me. Then there were moments when he behaved as though I didn't exist. That inconsistency confused me. And, strangely enough, it made me even more curious. One afternoon, I was arranging something behind the counter when Gina suddenly leaned toward me. "You're looking again." I froze. "Looking at what?" She raised an eyebrow. "You know exactly what." I pretended to be busy. "I don't know what you're talking about." "Sure." She laughed. I glanced at her. "Stop." "I didn't say anything." "You were thinking it." She smiled mischievously. "Irene..." "What?" "Do you like him?" My hands stopped moving. My heart skipped. "No." The answer came far too quickly. Gina burst out laughing. "That was fast." "Because it's true." "Then why are you blushing?" "I'm not." "You are." I touched my cheek. It was warm. Damn. Gina laughed again. "I didn't say you were in love." "I know." "Maybe you're just curious." I remained silent. She smiled. "Curiosity isn't a crime." I looked toward the other side of the room. Zhe was there. And, as if he had sensed my gaze, he looked toward me. Our eyes met. Again. This time, he smiled. My heart betrayed me. Gina noticed. Of course she did. She whispered, "Oh." I quickly turned away. "Don't." "I didn't say anything." "You were about to." She laughed softly. "Fine. I won't." I exhaled. But deep inside, I knew something had changed. I was beginning to look forward to seeing him. And that frightened me more than I wanted to admit. Because I had promised myself I wouldn't fall in love again so soon. I had promised myself that I would be careful. That I would protect my heart. That I would never again allow someone else to have the power to destroy my peace. Yet here I was. Standing in the middle of a busy VVIP club, surrounded by people, pretending to work while secretly wondering whether a certain man would look at me again. Maybe love doesn't ask permission. Maybe the heart doesn't care about promises. Maybe the moment we think we are finally safe from love... is exactly when love decides to find us. And perhaps that was what was happening to me. I just didn't know it yet. Not completely. All I knew was that Zhe had taken my attention. And little by little... he was beginning to take my thoughts with it.