Behind the curtains

AMAN

Many questions were running through his mind. Should he forget the past? Move on and accept the new person in his life? If he also leaves him like everyone else? Is he ready to give love another chance? Keeping everything aside, is he ready for another secretive love affair which has no future in his society? What will he do if someone finds this? Is he ready to fight the homophobic society and its values? A society according to which the only biggest sin is homosexuality, not murder, corruption and attacking the rights of other people.

There was no other person in the room. Omar was alone in that dark place, lost somewhere in the darkness of his mind. He had to share the room with two of his classmates. Both were in the library preparing for tomorrow's pathology test. But Omar, instead of preparing for any test, was fighting with his emotions. He was sitting on his bed continuously staring at the front wall like it was showing him all the scenarios running in his mind.

All of a sudden , he heard a vibration. It was a w******p message. He picked up his mobile and opened w******p. The message was from Aman. He wanted to leave it unread but then opened it unwillingly.

'I'm not in a hurry. Take your time, love, and then decide whether we should date or not. I know you can also feel the spark between us.' While he was reading this message he got another one from him narrating another thing.

' But I ask you if you want to reject it, then go on, but neither mock my feelings nor tell anyone else about them. You know my reputation as a college boy ! I can't face questions regarding this '

Another story behind the curtains , another love not according to the norms of society , another thing he had to hide from everyone. Is he ready for all these things? After reading these messages , he made a decision. The decision of not wasting his time, love, feelings again. He was just tired , tired of everything. He didn't reply back to him , just deleted his chat. Then he stood up, picked up a book and started reading it. But this wasn't the end.

He couldn't stop thinking about this. For the past 2 hours, he was still on the same page. There was a sentence running continuously in his mind. A sentence he had read recently, ' You can also feel the spark between us'. Yes! He was right. There was a spark between them. A thing that was hidden but could be felt. Aman hadn't suddenly asked 'Are you gay?' If someone knows how to read minds, he can read his feelings for him like an open book. It was like something written on his forehead that he liked him. After all, Aman was the most beautiful boy in his class.

If we talk about the features of Aman, then no one can resist his charisma. Tall, dark and handsome . But in his eyes there was magic in them. Like you can cut your fingers without noticing it by just looking in those eyes. He was the crush of every other girl in the class. It was like no one could resist his beauty. Some people say beautiful faces don't have beautiful voices, but that isn't the case. He had a deep and mature voice. You can't ignore him at any cost. If Disney ever had an Indian prince, he would be the perfect choice for that role.

Aman was not the roommate of Omar. He was his neighbor living in the front room. But it wasn't the classroom or hostel where they both met properly for the first time. Their first meeting was in the badminton courtyard. Aman was the best player of that sport. Omar just knew how to play it but it seemed interesting to him, unlike other sports like football and cricket. He was there playing with one of his roommates when Aman and his group came. They said hello to each other and started playing. First they all played separately, but then they had a team match where Aman and Omar were on one team while Aman's friend and Omar's roommate were on the opposite team. It was their first proper meeting .

Then it became a part of their everyday routine after college. Aman taught him different techniques and made him learn the true rules of the game. Both became good friends. But there was something more than friendship. Both knew it but no one was ready to confess it out of fear of society and culture and also there was a strange fear of rejection.

But at last, someone had confessed to it, but at what cost? Both stopped talking to each other after that day. Omar started ignoring him and that he didn't even exist. There were many reasons behind it but the most important one was that he was not healed yet. Healing is not a linear path, it's a circle. Something happens and the person reaches the same point from where he started. But it does not mean a person never heals. Distance covered by him also matters. Next time he will cover this distance more easily and a day will come when he will be outside of that circle. And that day would be the day of his redemption. Redemption from fear and hurt. From this day on, he would start to welcome new things , new people and new love in his life.

It was the weekend. Both of his roommates had gone to their homes. He was alone in the room. Omar heard a knock on his door at night. He was busy completing his recent college project. At first , he didn't open it but the door kept on knocking. Finally, he stood up and opened the door. He was shocked to see the person in front of him. It was no one but Aman.

'I want to talk to you. Please don't shut the door.' Aman said.

'Okay! Come into the room' he replied. After all, they both had a good friendship in the past.

‘Listen Omar! I have been feeling like you have been ignoring me since that day. You change your path if you see me coming from the front. You don't sit near me in class and you don't come for practice in the courtyard.' Aman said rapidly, like someone who had learnt it by heart and had been practicing it for a time.

'I don't know why you feel like I'm ignoring you. I'm just not feeling good these days and somehow busy with the academic chores' he said with a kind smile on his face instead of saying, what, do you want me to do after all the things you said that day.

' Okay Omar! But please don't ignore me. If I have hurt your feelings, then please forgive me, but please don't ruin our friendship by that thing. You understand?' Aman said in a tone like someone was requesting.

' Yeah! I understand it's okay. I'm not angry with you' he replied.

' Ok. And another important thing, whether you have heard it or not, is that the college is organizing a badminton tournament and I want you to participate in it. After all, you're a good player in our class ' Aman spoke again.

' Not better than you, Aman. And for the tournament I will think about it,' he replied.

'Okay! See you in class.' After saying it, Aman left the room.

Omar locked the door with a smiling face and sighed like someone had stopped an unwanted thing from happening. He started doing his project again, but this time with many other thoughts in his mind and Aman was the most highlighted one of those.

Another week had started and it was Tuesday. Omar and his roommates had just returned from college. After changing their clothes, they went for lunch in the Mess Hall of the hostel. During lunch, one of his roommates ,Ahmad, asked him if he was participating in a badminton tournament.

'I'm thinking about it,' he replied.

'Oh please! Participate in it after all you practiced the whole previous year and, to your surprise, I have given mine and your name to Mr. Tahir ( who was the organizer of that event),' Ahmad said in his cool boy attitude.

' Don't you think you must have discussed it with me before giving my name Ahmad!' he replied angrily.

' O sad soul! Please try to participate in it. I have noticed for some days that your mode is not okay. It will lighten your mode, my love. As I have given your name you can't redraw it now ' Ahmad replied to him with a sharp voice.

' Have they made the pairs ?' Omar asked him.

'No! Not yet, but they will message soon in w******p groups regarding this. Firstly, newcomers will give their trials, then they will finalize the names and don't worry you have been finalized, as everyone knows you're one of the best players of the class. Thanks to Aman who taught you!' Ahmad replied.

Again someone had said the name he wanted to forget. No, it wasn't the name, it was the feelings linked with that and all the things that person said to him. They both returned to their room.

It was the evening of that day when he and his roommate had a heated conversation.

' Omar! Have you checked w******p? The pairing list has been updated in the group. You have been paired with Aman' Ahmad said to him.

' Why Aman? I want to pair up with you. Why did you give my name when I didn't ask you for it? How will I handle him now? ' Omar shouted angrily.

He didn't know people could hear him. It was just his inner thought that finally got the words.

' Relax.Why are you shouting, Omar? It's just a pairing. Has anything happened between you two ? I thought you would be happy after listening to it. After all, you are both good friends . And he is also the best player. I bet you that you both are going to win that tournament.' Ahmad replied to him.

' I'm not shouting, I just don't want to pair with him. I think he will overshadow me in the game. I'm messaging Mr.Tahir to change this pairing ' Omar replied, and then he started messaging Mr. Tahir.

Least he knew that Aman was listening to this conversation at the door as he was coming to tell him the same news and to discuss the game plan and practice session with him. But after listening to all of this, he went back. He was not ignoring Aman after the day he came to his room, but something had been lost between them. That was frankness and friendship.