Tainted wife 2

The night was heavy, suffocating, as I sat alone in the room, my gaze lost in the endless darkness outside the window. The sky was a mirror of my heart—clouded, broken, and starless. Every shadow whispered his name. Jacob. The man I had once begged God for, the man I thought was the answer to my prayers, the man I loved so fiercely that he became the very rhythm of my breath… and yet, the same man who had shattered my soul beyond repair. I had prayed for love. I had prayed for a companion. And God had granted me everything I asked for—but always at the wrong time, always in a way that cut deeper than death itself. My eyes shifted to Aaron, lying only a few feet away. He refused to leave me, even when I begged him for space. Perhaps he feared my silence more than my words. He had fallen asleep watching over me, his body turned toward me though I had insisted he sleep apart. He didn’t deserve the cruelty of my distance, but I couldn’t help it. A few hours ago, I had woken with a scream tearing through my throat, the nightmare of Niel dragging me back into those months of torment. It was as if my soul was still chained in his prison, unable to breathe even in freedom. No matter how I tried to fight it, Niel’s face never left me. His cruelty had scarred me, his touch had burned me, and yet… in the deepest corner of my heart, I still couldn’t hate him. That was the curse he had left behind—the poison that lived in me. People would call me insane, broken, weak. Perhaps they would be right. Because how could a woman still ache for the man who destroyed her? How could her heart tremble at the memory of the one who ruined her? And then there was Aaron. Gentle, patient Aaron, who asked for nothing but my acceptance. I had once prayed for him to see me, to see us. I had begged for our marriage to be real, for him to hold me as his own. And when he finally did—when he finally opened his heart—I was no longer pure. I had already been tainted by another man. I pressed a trembling hand against my chest, where the ache never left, where Niel’s ghost still lived. The love I had once dreamed of now felt like a curse etched into my very blood. I was a wife, yet broken. A woman, yet hollow. Loved by one man, haunted by another. And the cruelest truth of all—I didn’t know whom I was mourning for more. I knew Niel. I knew the kind of man he was. He would never stay calm. He was the storm that refused to die, the darkness that followed even when I tried to run toward light. He would haunt me down, he would burn the world, dig the earth and tear the sky apart just to get me back. He was not the kind of man who let go. And if he did find me—if his shadow once again stretched over my life—I would lose everything. Aaron and my daughter Panchi my little girl, my fragile hope in this world of chaos. Just thinking about her made my chest tighten. I thought of her innocent eyes, her laughter that still carried no scars of this cruel world. But then, with a shudder, I remembered the other life hidden inside me. The child I was carrying now. My body trembled violently at the truth, the cruel irony of it. This child did not belong to Aaron, nor was it born of love. It belonged to Niel. A child not conceived in tenderness, but in pain. A child that was the result of his atrocities, his force, his relentless cruelty, his rage and his madness. The realization was a blade to my heart. I closed my eyes, trying to swallow the pain, but it rose in my throat like fire. My chest burned, my throat ached as if every scream I had ever silenced was lodged there, tearing me apart from within. The memories came rushing back the brutal nights, the endless days, the way Niel broke me piece by piece until I didn’t recognize myself anymore. The way he cut my hair, stripping me of the woman I once was. The way he made me do things I can’t even whisper to myself. The way he marked me, scarred me, tortured not just my body but my very soul. A violent jolt shook me, and I opened my eyes, gasping for air. I couldn’t stay still, couldn’t let those images bury me alive. Carefully, I slid Aaron’s arm away from my waist, biting down on my lip to keep from sobbing. He deserved peace, not my madness. I rose slowly, quietly, my bare feet brushing the cold floor, and walked toward the window. The night air was sharp, but it couldn’t soothe me. I pressed my trembling palm against my chest, desperately trying to breathe, to steady the storm inside me. In and out, I told myself. Just breathe. But the more I tried, the harder it became. My lungs felt as though they were caving in, my body refusing to obey. My eyes blurred with tears, hot and heavy, streaming silently down my face. My shoulders shook, but I bit down so hard on my lip I could taste blood. I didn’t want to wake him. I didn’t want anyone to see how weak I was. But then then I felt it. Arms. Strong and steady, wrapping tightly around me from behind. I froze, my heart stumbling in my chest. His warmth seeped into my trembling body as his hand began to move gently, soothingly, rubbing circles on my back. That simple gesture broke me in a way Niel never could. A sob tore free from my throat, raw and unrestrained. I leaned into him, no longer able to keep the façade. No matter how hard I tried to be strong, no matter how fiercely I tried to bury it, the truth was merciless. Inside this body, behind the walls I tried to build, there was still a child—me. A child who was weak, who was broken, who still trembled in the dark remembering the chains, the screams, the pain. I cried silently into the night, my tears falling against the hands that held me. I couldn’t believe it the arms wrapped around me now, steady and protective, were the same arms that once hurled me into walls, the same hands that had punished me, degraded me, made me feel like nothing but trash. Aaron had hated me once, hated me so fiercely that every glance from him felt like a blade, every word like poison. I had lived through his rage, his coldness, his cruelty. And yet, those wounds never bled as deeply as the ones Niel carved into me. Aaron’s anger hurt my body, yes, but it never shattered my soul. His punishments bruised my skin, but they never haunted my nights, never left me trembling at the sound of his voice. Niel was different. Jacob broke me in places I didn’t know could be broken. He twisted love into a curse, carved it into my bones until I could no longer separate pain from desire. And maybe that is why I am cursed. Because even now, even after everything he did, I can’t tear my heart away from Niel. I am madly, desperately in love with the man who destroyed me. And that truth, more than anything, is what kills me.