ADVICE FROM A MOTHER THAT CHANGED HER SON FROM BEATEN AND MOLESTATION OF WOMEN TO A GODLY AND MORAL MAN THROUGH HER TEACHINGS ..

ADVICE OF A MOTHER TO HIS SON Dear Son, It is never too late to learn and unlearn certain ‘things’ you have ‘picked up’ in the name of being ‘a man’. this were the word's of Mrs prisca to his son Pascal, a young boy of sixteen with a promising future. The family of late Mr chukwuemeka was the richest in there neighborhood , a great civil engineer, with the trait of entrepreneurship, he is also into estate development. he has orphage home with the total children of 700 orphan's and fatherless, a generous man indeed, with the total children of three, pascal, But Mr chukwuemeka is an abusive husband, quick tempered, he lack tolerance in all things, he had negative influence on pascal before his sudden death at the age of 60. After his death, pascal though he was the youngest, but he became wild and abusive both in school and home,he does not respect his elder sisters, always bitting Pamela her niece. The mother of pascal, Prisca who was a Sunday school in her church, decided she was going to mold both in words and discipline to become a godly man, she doesn't want him to follow the footsteps of his late father. At this time pascal was 21 years, in his second year in the higher institution, they had a long break in one of the semester because of the Academic Staff Union of Universities strike (Asuu) so the mum prepared a module of teaching series for him, she titled it ADVICE OF A MOTHER TO HIS SON. Despite how big pascal had grown the mother believed that he has not outgrown her, she started teaching pascal the standard of a godly husband, this teachings continued until pascal graduated from school, whenever he comes for holiday, she would resume her teachings. This was what she taught him in their first meeting she said; Son, I am not a male, but as your mother, I urge you to learn the act of gratitude. Learn to respect and appreciate women, every woman including Mary our house help, and her friends Amanda, joy, precious, loveth and Mariah. And son, when it’s time to marry, marry a woman you love and appreciate because love covers multitude of sins 1Pet.4.8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Marry a woman you are proud of, both privately and publicly, you saw how your friend obinna married glory just because she had money despite the warning from her parents Mr Emmanuel and Mrs Agnes. May God give you a good and virtuous woman who knows what she is worth. And even if she doesn’t know, help her to know her worth, in deeds and in words, her son Pascal replied , mom I love your advice I'm learning so much , what's your opinion about marrying a woman with different dream from me. then his mum Mrs prisca replied marry a woman whose dreams you believe in and who believes in your dreams, two can not Walk together except they agree she quoted bible verse for him Amos.3.3 Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? (NLT) Then pascal nodded his head and asked his mum, about beauty, he said is beauty a decisive factor on whom to marry ?then his mum replied always look beyond the ‘today’ when you are choosing a wife, because beauty will fade away but good character is more important, so consider character more than beauty. then pascal went out with his friends for a get together party, there was this lady amaka by name she is very beautiful and wants pascal to marry her, but she doesn't have good character, the advice from pascal's mum made him change his mind from her, despite the feelings he usually had for her before then. as pascal was meditating on these things, amaka bought drink for she and pascal and brought it an isolated place, with the intention of seducing him, she really want him to sleep with her, the drink she bought was injected with drugs that arouses one's s****l desire, but pascal refused the drink and went away, thank God for his mum's advice. when pascal retuned from the party he narrated everything that happened to her mum, she was proud of him and hugged him. pascal been curious to unlearn all the negavity he copied from his late father Mr chukwuemeka who died of car accident , so he asked his mum, is it good for a man to cry over women? then his mother answered him, Son, it’s ok to be broken sometimes. It’s ok to cry sometimes, it’s ok to apologize, actually you must apologize, when you are wrong. Because you are human, he smiled, as at this time pascal was 25, he had graduated from the University of Nigeria nsukka, as a medical doctor. Pascal vowed to give his mother the best of life because of the molestation she went through in the hands of her late husband brothers, Donald and Judas, they collected everything from her, even chased her out of her husband house, she suffered to train pascal and her two elder sister, Esther and Deborah who are happily married with their husbands, Jude and Samson, Esther had a baby boy for Samson whose name is Jacob, while Deborah's children for Jude was Michael, Anthony and Daniel all were fair in complexion like their father. One of the day's pascal was angry with their house maid, so he shouted at her and slapped her, the mother was angry with him and she said abuse in any form or shape, is a no go area!! Because son, if you abuse your woman in anyway or form, I will lead in making sure you are prosecuted, though you are my son. Do unto others, what you want them to do unto you. It is possible to have a beautiful relationship devoid of toxicity. It is never too late to learn and unlearn!! Being a man, is being human… knowing and accepting your strengths and weakness (not just physical) and working on them. I believe in you to be different from the kind of toxic men we hear of these days. Dare to be different. Dare to change the narrative of misogyny, chauvinism and patriarchy!! Son, dare to show the rest what it takes to be a Great man. Son, the woman is not your enemy, competitor or rival!! She compliments you just as you compliment her. And oh son, it is ok for you to also leave and live!! Don’t become a criminal, an abuser all because “you couldn’t control yourself”. However, son know that marriage can be beautiful and it takes you and your wife, to make it work. abuse, is not an option!!! It’s an absolute NO!! Always advice your sons to love their wives and respect them. finally pascal found a virtuous woman in the hospital where he is working ,he proposed to her and they got married, it was a dream come through for his mother, Adaeze pascal's wife delivered a baby boy the mum named him honesty. I have some bonus to leave with my readers. TEN LESSONS EVERY HUSBAND MUST KNOW 1. Lead your wife: You are the leader. Lead with love and respect and your marriage will grow everyday. Don’t be the man who just does whatever to make his wife happy, do what is needed. 2. Date your wife: This is so important. Make the time to date your wife. This should include date nights, surprises, and just being intentional in what you do. Dating got you to the alter, don’t stop now. 3. Listen to your wife Your wife will let you know when: - She is joyful - She needs help - She is not happy If you truly listen to your wife you will understand her so much more and avoid a lot of arguments. 4. Laugh with your wife: Don’t be so serious. Life is to short not to have fun and laugh. Laugh at her jokes, silliness, and tricks because laughing together is such a blessing. Your wife is your best friend, act like it. 5. Compliment your wife Everyday tell your wife: - You are beautiful - You are an amazing mom - You make me a better person Don’t expect anything in return, just let her to know. Try it, I promise it will pay dividends. 6. Trust your wife: She deserves your trust. Don’t make her have to earn it, she already has.To many husbands out there don’t trust their wives and drive them away. Don’t be that husband. 7. Communicate with your wife: Here’s what you should do: Everyday have time set aside to truly talk. No phones. No television. Just the two of you talking about your day and anything both of you need to tell each other. 8. Give your wife grace: She isn’t perfect and you shouldn’t expect her to be. When she falls, pick her up. When she fails, forgive her. No matter what she does, give her grace. Because we all need it. 9. Grow with your wife: Life will be filled with: - New hometowns - Growing your family - Building your legacies Through it all you both will change, don’t let it grow you apart. Grow together and build a life of joy. 10. Love your wife: You will never regret loving your wife. It will be the greatest accomplishment of your life. LETTER TO EVERY WOMAN Dear Woman, Not every man is a husband material. Some are friend-zone materials. Some are boyfriend materials. Some are s*x mate materials. Some are baby-papa materials. Some are husband materials. Some are father materials. Marry a Man that is a Brother, Husband and Father. Some of you, get into marriage with men who have no business being married. Marriage is not for everybody. Some men are not wired to function in matrimony. Don't allow marriage desperation or societal pressure to push you into the arms of a man who is not ready or suited for matrimony. Look around you, most men get married just for the status. Those are the men that marry wives and keep for their mothers and fathers to look after. I have seen men who married wives and travelled out of the country for 5, 6 and even 7 years without coming home to see their wives. I mean what is that? You shouldn't be theoretically married. Marriage must be practical. Some men are very selfish. Take this from me, a selfish man can never be a good husband. Matrimony thrives on mutualism. It is a give-and-take situation. Don't marry a man because you are pregnant for him. Don't marry him because he deflowered you. Don't marry him because you are unemployed. Don't marry him because you've dated him for long. Don't marry him because you invested in him financially. Marry him because you believe he is worthy of being called your Husband and the father of your unborn kids. There are men everywhere but Husbands are scarce. I pray for you who are yet to be married: you will not experience marriage bondage. And for those who feel you've made a mistake, retrace your steps, and re-dedicate your marriage to God. God is faithful and ready to help you, He will help you and guide you right.. LETTER TO ALL MEN Dear Men, If you want to make it in life, you don't have to enter every HOLE you see. Some holes are dead traps. Some holes are destiny destroyers, business destroyers and life destroyers. My brother, do not obey your Erection at all times. Most Erections mislead you to wrong direction. Control your erection if you don't want to to have few days on earth with much poverty on you. It is not everything you see under skirt that you should hustle to eat, some skirts contain snakes that will bite you and leave you uncomfortable. Control your s****l urge. Self control and abstinence in most cases pays a lot. A man who can control his s****l urge is a man who can live many years on earth. Men don't know that some of their downfalls are caused by MULTIPLE girlfriends. BAD ATTITUDES IN RELATIONSHIP : It’s better to be single and at peace with yourself than to be in a relationship with a person with a bad attitude. wait for God-appointed time. If you are giving your best to someone and it`s not good enough for them, you're giving your best to the wrong person. Be careful. MEN......... If you are a man and you are cheating. You’re losing a life. You think you are playing the game and winning, but you are losing. You can get over on some women but you can’t fool your Creator. You will reap what you sow, so you better start trying to grow. Juggling women doesn’t make you a man. Being honest, loyal & faithful to ONLY ONE DOES! You can't marry or sleep with all the ladies that come your way! Beautiful women will always be there, you will meet beautiful ones daily!!! Learn to be disciplined have self-control. Just pick one and make her your Queen it saves you money, time, drama, and diseases... Moreover, there is no medal to be worn over the number of s****l partners you have! You just blocking your blessings and sending yourself to the grave early. Change, please. LADIES...... PLEASE. Stop seeking cheap attention and Publicity from social media by posting photos wearing skimpy dresses. With your boobs hanging out of your blouse and showing your booty. Yes of course You will get a thousand likes from men..and of course, men will ask you for a date just because they just want to use you... But the truth is that a real man can NEVER marry a skimpily dressed woman like you who has no shame. Remember. The way you dress up talks volumes about you!!! Remember anything precious is always hidden and covered like Gold!!!! Love your body. Treasure your body...showing your nakedness to the world will only make you LOSE YOUR VALUE!!! Cheap girl. Change. Finally, the wrong Attitude MUST Stop,..................... Men: Treat your woman how you would want another man to treat your mother or daughter! WOMEN: Treat your man how you would want another woman to treat your father or son! So Let's do the right thing and God will see us through. REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE s*x BEFORE MARRIAGE: Now most people that will tell you not to have s*x until marriage probably haven’t had a lot of s*x outside of marriage, and will give you some answer like because it’s a sin or you are breaking a commandment or something like that might not make a whole lot of sense to you. I on the other hand have had A LOT of s*x outside of marriage and I’m here to explain to you very practically why you should wait to have s*x until marriage, so practically in fact that you won’t even be able to dispute me because you’ll know that I’m right. Whether you choose to do it, well that’s up to you. I can’t do your push ups for you I can only show you the way. So let’s get started shall we? ?1. Better to have long term friends than short term s*x partners: Me and a couple friends started an organization called CityFam, and one of the tag lines we like to use is Friends with better benefits. Because what we found was life gets good when you have great relationships with others, especially members of the opposite s*x. So why burn a relationship by having s*x with someone that could be a great lifelong friend unless you’re sure that that you want to go to that level with the person for the long term? If you do decide to get physical someone will catch feelings and when that physical relationship ends you will lose that person as a friend. So that’s it, those are my “10 REASONS NOT TO HAVE s*x BEFORE MARRIAGE.” Hopefully after reading this you understand better why it just makes sense to wait, and the real reason people don’t want to wait isn’t because they don’t believe IT’S right thing to do, it’s because it’s hard. But let me finish by saying this, EVERYTHING that works is hard. Squats are hard, dieting is hard, keeping your word is hard. And by no means am I preaching to you here. The only reason that I know the things I do is because I’ve done EVERYTHING wrong! But here’s the good news, if you’ve already had s*x it’s not too late! All of this still works. I know from experience. ?️2. Physical attraction wears off: I’ve dated beautiful women in my life, and I found myself not even physically attracted to them anymore. I literally would lay next to them and would just rather have gone to sleep every night. There’s a saying that goes, show me the hottest girl in the world and I’ll show you a guy that’s tired of f%*king her. While that saying is terrible there’s some truth to it. Because when you lead with physical attraction and then somehow find yourself in a relationship with that person, it’s like the trick the universe plays on you, now you’re not physically attracted to them anymore because you never connected on a deeper level. ?️3. If they marry you they mean it: Look talk is cheap. Ladies listen, guys are good salesman, they can tell you they love you and they might even mean it when they say it, but if they will wait until your wedding night to have s*x with you, they probably mean it. If they won’t marry then tell them get to steppin’. Think how fast you will be able to go through the numbers of all the jokers until you find your prince charming that really does mean it? Trust me, he will be a lot happier you didn’t sleep with all those guys along the way too. ?️4. Transfer of control: Coming into a relationship the big thing that women have control over is when they have s*x. 99 times out of 100 a woman is in control of that. But what often happens is that after s*x, a woman will chase the man around for a relationship, the thing that he is in control of. Because when you boil it all the way down to the base, coming into a relationship, it was always supposed to be, a man was supposed to say to a woman, I will give you security (marriage), if you give me s*x. So a woman that gives s*x and doesn’t get commitment is just giving and not getting. And a man that is getting s*x and doesn’t give commitment is just getting and not giving. This is why the world looks at a man that has s*x with a lot of women as a stud, but a woman that has s*x with a lot of men as a hoe. Not saying that one is less guilty of the other, but I did just prove my point. ?️5. “That which we obtain too easily we esteem too lightly” Thomas paine There’s a saying that goes what we obtain too easily we esteem too lightly, and it basically means that if something didn’t cost you something you don’t really appreciate it that much. Outside of two isolated incidents, as of 2020 I’ve personally been abstinent now for the last 8 years letting God prepare my heart for my future wife. If I were to meet her tomorrow, I think it’s reasonable to assume that I would date her for at least a year before getting married. If I’m strong enough to make it to my wedding night, that will mean I have been abstaining from regular s*x for 9 years by the time we get married and we get physical. If we get into an argument or disagreement, how quickly do you think I’ll walk away from that relationship knowing that it could be another 9 years before I find the next Mrs. Right? Whatever it is, we will work that s**t out! Now contrast that, how easy is it for someone that had s*x with their partner after 3 dates to throw it away and start over with someone new when things go south? ?️6. Everybody else is “doing it”: Here’s a few stats for you. The average American goes on 3 dates before having s*x. The rate of divorce in the United States is around 50%. My question is, of the people that are still married, what % of them are happy? Because my guess is it’s pretty low. If I had to guess I would say it’s around 20% and I suspect it could be even lower. But if it was 20% that would mean your chances of getting married and being happy are 1 in 10! IF you do it the way everyone else is doing it, which is what? Dating basically out of physical attraction and hooking up with the person after 3 dates. How well can you possibly know someone after 3 dates?! And now you’re in something complicated and connected to someone that you really don’t know that well. And that’s how people end up divorced or unhappily married. Contrast his with the less than 1 in 10 divorce rate of couples that waited til marriage to have s*x and it aint hard to see the right way to go about this. Is it hard? Yes. But isn’t everything that works hard? Instant gratification NEVER produces long term happiness. Not in one single thing. It produces instant happiness and there’s a price to be paid for it down the road. ?️7. Pregnancy: There’s always the chance you could make a baby when you have s*x, and as I’ve already demonstrated, if you’re having s*x outside of marriage there’s a pretty good chance it’s because at least one of you isn’t 100% sure they want to spend the rest of your life with that person. And if you make a baby with someone that you don’t plan to be with for the long haul there are only a few options and none of them are ideal. Abortion, adoption, single-parent home or loveless relationship. ?️8. s*x connects us: Ok this one is simple biology. There’s a hormone released called oxytocin that makes women attach to men and makes men protective over women. Google it. If you connect to someone that you’re not in love with, don’t start complaining when s**t’s start falling apart in your relationship because you never took the time to find out who that person really was you jumped into bed (and a relationship) really was. Plus having multiple s*x partners increase your risk of divorce, again Google it. It’s like having a piece of duct tape, and you stick it to something, and then you pull it away, and then you stick it to something else, and you pull it away, and if you do this enough times, eventually it can’t stick to anything. s*x is our connection mechanism hardwired into us. The good news, if you’ve already had s*x it’s not too late! This connection mechanism can be restored with time. ?️9. Marriage allows you to evaluate your real feelings: So you start talking about no s*x before marriage and everyone freaks out because it sounds extreme. But if I were to say no s*x before love that sounds more reasonable right? Something you can get your head around. Well the next question would be how do you know if you’re in love? My answer would be you know if you’re in love because you’re willing to marry the person to have s*x with them. Because no one is going to marry someone just to sleep with them. There’s a verse in the bible that reads the heart is deceitful above all things and it basically it tells us that our hearts will deceive us into believing something that’s not true so we give our flesh what it wants. Imagine you’re dating someone and you say to them I’m in love with you let’s have s*x. And they say back to you I love you too, but let’s get married first, you would be like whoa, hold up let me think about this right? That’s a whole different conversation because we know marriage is hard to get out of. And that’s what the purpose of marriage was always for, to allow us to evaluate our real feelings to see if we were really in love so we didn’t get stuck with someone that we weren’t in love with. ?️10. s*x masks problems: When you’re having s*x in a relationship what’s the point in really evaluating it? Why would you? You’re giving each other what you need. You might wonder sometimes if you’re in love or if you could spend the rest of your life with this person but you never really forced to look deeply. However when you’re not having s*x you are forced to really examine it. Let me give you an example. My last relationship I was having s*x with my girlfriend and I wasn’t sure if we were really in love or built to last I think I said. So I cut it off in the middle of it. And guess what, all the real issues came right up to the surface. Because when you’re not having s*x it’s like: well I want to have s*x again, and I know you want to have s*x again, and if we’re REALLY in love, then let’s get married. But if we’re not, let’s stop wasting each other’s time. Because you could waste years of each other’s lives, just having s*x. WHAT EVERY MAN MUST DO TO KEEP A WOMAN : 1. Be humble and practice forgiveness. If you want to keep your woman, be humble and admit your own mistakes. Ask for forgiveness and be sincere to not repeat your mistakes over and over again. If she commits mistakes, get rid of your pride and be ready to forgive her too. 2. Know and understand her better. If you want to keep your woman, never make her feel that she’s a stranger to you. Hence, know and understand her deeper. Listen to her heart. Know what she loves and what she hates. Understand what makes her happy or sad. You must be the one who can understand her the most. 3. Be consistently honest. If you want to keep your woman, make honesty a habit. Don’t lie about your past, present, and future. Honesty is uncommon in this world. A woman whose partner is honest and transparent would rarely suffer from jealousy and insecurity. If you’re an honest person, who would not want to stay with you? 4. Be loyal. If you want to keep your woman, make her your only one true love. Just like honesty, loyalty will give her confidence and overcome any insecurity in her mind. Loyal men are hard to find these days. If you’re a loyal man, who would not want to have a long-term relationship with you? 5. Treasure her. If you want to keep your woman, make her feel valued and important. Treat her like a princess or a queen. Keep her like she’s your most precious thing or blessing in this world. Don’t ignore her but give your most precious time and attention to her. 6. Be kind and compassionate. If you want to keep your woman, feel her joy and suffering. Only by feeling what she feels will you be able to make her happy and comfort her when she’s sad. With kindness and compassion, your common relationship problems and misunderstandings will be easier to solve. 7. Support and empower her. If you want to keep your woman, help her make her dreams come true. Don’t be a hindrance in reaching her goals in life. Let her grow and achieve her full potential. By giving your support, you can also show how much you love her. 8. Respect and honor her. If you want to keep your woman, respect her as a woman, a human, and as your one and only partner in a relationship. Don’t forget to appreciate her achievements, whether they are small or big. Value her words, opinions and decisions even they are opposite to yours. 9. Protect her. If you want to keep your woman, be her hero. Be a chivalrous guy who will keep her away from danger or inconvenience. Be a man who will protect her from harm, whether it’s coming from others, from her, or from you. 10. Trust her. If you want to keep your woman, trust her and don’t think of her like an unclean woman, especially if you don’t have a proof. Learn how to be calm and manage your own green-eyed monster and other insecurities. Show that you have confidence in her. 11. Be a responsible man. If you want to keep your woman, be a real man. Learn to love and develop yourself. Don’t waste your time and money on drunkenness and other vices. Instead, build a bright future for her, for your relationship, and your children. Stop being childish – start getting mature and a more grown man. There is no guarantee that you can keep your woman as long as you want since the final decision for her to stay with you lies in her.However, you can always do something to make her fall in love with you and be with you forever. This is the end of the story thanks for reading