Always Yours.

DESIRE The traffic light turned green and as expected the cars started to move, but the stupid driver in front of me refused to move his stupid car. That's if he's even a man.  I pressed down on my horn to alert the stupid i***t but still nothing happened. I'm already late as it is and this foolish creature is just getting on my last nerve. I looked around for any traffic cop but saw none around, I certainly didn't want to get pulled over by any LASTMA officer; all they knew was money and would probably drag me down to their office for as little as not using my wiper. LASTMA officers are the ones in charge of traffic regulations in Lagos. I pulled to the side and drove past the car, I turned down my screen to yell at the driver but the sight I saw made my eyes bulge. The driver was as I guessed; a man and he was not alone. A woman was naked from the waist down bouncing on him, I could practically see her ass jiggle and the man whose beard was covered in grey hair had his mouth open in ecstasy. Oh my God that's just gross. The indecency alone made me gag, I drove away from there faster than you could say Usain Bolt. What is the world turning into? How can a man as old as that be practising such indecent act in broad daylight, where anyone could see. I'll probably not be able to get that scene out of my head anytime soon. I just got extra late because of those two idiots. Miss Obiageli was definitely not going to like this, at all. I could already picture her turning down her prim and proper nose at me in an attempt to make me question my life choices. I wonder if no one has told her she looks like a constipated frog when she does that. Suddenly a danfo driver came out of nowhere, overtaking me and scratching my car in the process. "What the hell?" I screamed and the conductor snickered. What the actual hell? Is it because I'm speaking English for these idiots? I sped up and drove side by side with the unfortunate fool. "It's like you're mad abi, look what you've done to my car." I yelled at the conductor. "Ehn shey you want make I dey beg you ni, when you sef no sabi drive nko?" the conductor said nonchalantly. The stupid i***t was dressed in a wife beater with dirty black crazy jeans, the ratty Yankees cap on his head hays definitely seen better days. He was not even remorseful about almost running me off the road and scratching my car with that wretched bus of his. Do you want me to beg you? When you don't know how to drive. "Sho ya were ni abi aye e fe baje ni?" I spat out in anger and the comical look of shock on his face made my lip twitch in amusement. Are you mad or do you want your life ruined? "Wetin dey do this one sef una no go sabi how to drive car you go just dey do anyhow for road" he said in that agbero voice of his. What's wrong with this one? You won't know how to drive a car but will be doing anyhow on the road. It's like this guy has taken too much weed this morning and it's gotten to his head and I'll teach him a lesson. "Wallahi tallahi I go show you pepper this evening, shebi you no wan get sense." I threatened. I brought out my phone and slowed down so I could take a picture of his license plate. I swear I'll deal with you this evening since you don't want to have sense. Just as I did that, a LASTMA car stopped ahead of us and motioned for the danfo driver to stop the bus. I smirked in satisfaction and stopped my car. The officers got down from the car, one with a pot belly the size of a drum, his stomach was so huge even the buttons on his shirt were almost popping out. The other one was rail thin and had tribal marks on his face, he pulled his trouser up to his stomach and puffed out his chest like he was about to go into battle. The two made a sorry sight and I rolled my eyes at them. "Why couldn't it be the muscular ones I get today instead of these two jokers." I mumbled. I got out of my car and explained to them what the danfo driver did to my car, throughout my narration the thin one just kept nodding his head like an agama lizard and tapping his baton on his hand. The fat one goes round my car and examined it with his nose in the air like he caught a whiff of something bad. The driver and his conductor stood to the side with a sorry look on their faces and the passengers rained curses on them for delaying them, some even pleaded with me to forgive and forget like they would pay for my car that these idiots scratched with their reckless driving. They didn't utter a word when the conductor was running his mouth earlier, they acted like they weren't even in the bus but now they had the mouth to beg me when it was affecting them. Some people were just selfish to the core. The thin one seized the car keys of the danfo and the passengers roared with insults, I just got into my car and drove off. My work here is done. I parked my car by the curb and just as expected Miss Obiageli was at the gate with a disapproving frown on her face, she really needs to stop doing that or she would be a spinster for life. At her age she should have been married with five kids by now. As I got out of the car, Tara gave me a megawatt smile and the stress of today just melted away and I smiled. Tara was my two years old daughter. "Thank you for keeping her Miss Obiageli." "This is the last time I'll be doing this for you Miss Charleston. All the teachers are gone already and I'm here with your daughter even though I'm supposed to be home by now, do you know what says the time?" I wonder what she wants to go and do at home. "I'm so sorry Miss Obiageli it won't happen again, I promise." I gave her my best sorry look and she just huffed and walked away.  "Mummy." Tara yelled and jumped on me and I caught her. "How are you my sweetheart? Did you have fun at school today?" "I missed you, mummy," she said and showered my face with kisses and I laughed. "I missed you too, my baby," I squished her in a hug. "So, so, so very much." I let her go and she slid down my body. She grabbed my hand and hopped with her pigtails bouncing left and right as we walked to the car. "Will we get ice cweam, mummy?" she looked at me with those cute eyes of hers and I chuckled. She does that all the time but it won't catch me this time. "Yes baby." I answered and she squealed in happiness, she ran and opened the passenger seat all while chanting ice cream. Who was I kidding? She was so adorable I couldn't say no to her. I opened the door and got in the driver's seat, I checked the rearview mirror and she had already buckled her seatbelt. She caught me checking her and gave me a toothy smile, I just shook my head at her and drove off. – Danfo is the yellow and black bus that's driven in Lagos. – Agbero is what a lout is called in Nigeria.