Cross

Chapter 1

Chapter 1The bell rang, and I hurried out the doors, positioning myself in plain view where I could watch for Derek. Leo hurried over, urging me to let it go and let him handle it. Leo had always handled it, keeping the peace or laying the threats to keep me out of harm’s way. But I had had enough.

Derek, emerged from the school wearing a smug smile with Lauren by his side. “Well, if it isn’t Elmer himself! I heard you wanted to have a word with me.” He said in a mocking voice.

I hated when he called me Elmer. Derek had given me the shitty nickname after I had messaged Lauren, urging her to leave him. To this day I don’t regret sending that message. The controlling jerk had no right to cut me out of her life. In retaliation, he had heard the analogy I had told others about my genetic disorder. “I look normal but the glue, or collagen, that holds me together is faulty causing me to be fragile. It’s like comparing a house made with screws and nails to one held together with Elmer’s glue; they look the same but one can break and fall apart easily.”

Lauren shot me a sympathetic smile as she tugged at Derek’s hand, pleading for him to leave. He pulled out of her grasp and approached.

Leo came up on my left and quietly urged. “Cross, let it go. He’s not worth the risk. Let it go.”

“Yeah Elmer, better let it go. Like you always do. We wouldn’t want things to escalate.” He mocked. “You and your fake diagnosis have everyone fooled but me. I know the truth; you’re too much of a chicken s**t to fight. You let your oaf fight your—”

I charged past Leo and clocked Derek as hard as I could across his jaw. The skin on my knuckles split open instantly, revealing the bone beneath and unleashing a river of blood. I didn’t care; I had landed a solid hit. Derek stumbled back, losing his balance and falling to the ground with a dumbfounded look. A crowd gathered to see the melee. I began to charge at him again, but Lauren and Leo grabbed me and pulled me away.

Beep, beep, beep! The alarm clock blared next to me, pulling me from the unbelievably realistic dream. My hand shook as it reached over to quiet the alarm. 6:45AM. I studied my hand, relieved it was intact. I hated being fragile, especially when I had to take crap from Derek Mavers each day. “Ignore him, reason with him, explain your disorder.” Yeah, none of it worked. I needed to borrow someone’s normal body for an hour so I could kick Derek’s ass and be done with him.

Today was my birthday, but unlike most kids on this planet, I did not enjoy celebrating getting another year older. With vEDS, another year older meant a step closer to an early death. I was still struggling with the tragic news regarding the death of my online friend, Nick Mitchell. We chatted often about vEDS, as we had that in common, and often compared notes. But he was gone and here I was, turning another year older.

After a quick shower, I grabbed my backpack and headed downstairs where Mom flitted about the kitchen and Dad was reading the paper and drinking his coffee.

“Hey, birthday boy! Happy birthday. Mom made breakfast,” Dad called to me.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” Mom called over her shoulder.

“Thanks. Did you save me any bacon?”

Dad pushed the plate of meat my way. “You okay? You look...” He narrowed his eyes.

“What?” I narrowed my eyes back at him.

Mom turned from the stove to look at me. Her expression dropped and she hurried over, putting her hand to my forehead to check for a temperature. “Ray, you look sickly.”

“Geez, thanks. I love you too. No, really, I feel fine. Tired, but I just woke up.”

“Maybe that’s it. You look paler, and your circles look darker. I’m glad we’re seeing Dr. Jonas this afternoon.” She returned to the eggs.

“Oh yeah? What time’s the appointment?” Dr. Jonas was a specialist that helped manage my collagen disorder.

“Right after school. Just head home, and we’ll leave once you’re here.” Mom said without turning around. “Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“No. But I’ve been dreaming a lot, and they’re pretty action-packed. Maybe if I dreamt of taking a nap I’d look more rested,” I joked.

Dad laughed, but Mom didn’t. “Here, eggs are done.” She brought the eggs over right as I reached for the orange juice. The back of my right hand connected with the hot pan for just a moment, but it hurt like hell. “Oh, Ray! Are you okay?” Mom returned the pan to the stove and returned with a wet wash rag. “Here, put this on there.” She helped me drape it over my hand. “Leave that there for a bit while you eat, then well put some Silvadene on it.”

I peeked at the blistered skin and replaced the cloth. “Bad timing huh?”

Mom fixed the plate of food and poured my drink. “It was not the best way to start the day.”

After breakfast, my mom took off the rag and dried the wound with a paper towel. Then she dressed it with Silvadene and bandaged it. “Better hurry or you’ll be late for school.” She leaned forward to kiss my forehead.

I waved goodbye and started off toward school.

Midland High was in walking distance from my house, and in the two and three quarters years I had attended it, I could count the times I had to be driven on one hand. But on days like today, when the sun shone bright in the sky and the temperature was in the mid-seventies, I was glad we lived so close. I turned onto Swede Avenue and walked on the sidewalk that led to the school. A few cars passed by, but our high school started an hour before most places of employment. The houses here were simple brick and siding homes. Their architecture reminded me of the house I saw on the Brady Bunch show when I was a kid. Some neighbors cared for their yards; their perfectly painted fences framed manicured lawns and flower beds. Others seemed to do nothing more than mow their “grass” which consisted of mismatched weeds and bare patches.

A large and fast moving shadow crossed the ground beneath me. I looked up expecting to see a stealth bomber or at least a huge cloud. But the sky was clear and cloudless.

Oof! I collided with a kid that looked a couple of years younger than me. “Sorry.” Where the hell had he come from? He shot an annoyed look my way before continuing away from the school. He didn’t look like anyone I’d seen around Midland. He wore grey cargo pants, a tattered red tee, and had a shaggy haircut. I shrugged it off and continued on my way.

With a couple of days before spring break, the teachers went easy on us and filled the class time with movies or busy work enforcing the most recent lesson.

Mrs. Burke turned off the ancient VHS recorder, ending today’s Romeo and Juliet lesson. “Tomorrow we will finish the movie and discuss how it compares to the text.”

At some point in the movie, I had tuned out and focused on Lauren Crosby who sat a few chairs ahead of me. Lauren and I had become close friends in middle school when she transferred in and struggled with adjusting. Her locker had been assigned near mine, but she never managed to open it. We’d joke that an evil witch had cursed her to forever be locked out of her locker, but I didn’t mind helping. And as time had passed, I had become closer friends and more attracted to her.

A crumpled piece of paper flew onto my desk.

“Score.” Derek chuckled from behind me.

I shouldn’t care what the paper said, but curiosity got the better of me.

Keep your eyes off my girl Elmer!

It was a warning from Derek Mavers, school jerk and Lauren’s boyfriend since Freshman year. I hated him.

The guidance counselor had encouraged my parents and I to be forthcoming about my condition, insisting it would make the other students sympathetic instead of cruel. Most were compassionate and respected my limitations, sometimes even offering to help make something physically easier for me, like carrying my heavy backpack. But there were a few, like Derek Mavers, who had no care for anything besides themselves. They took pride in dominating others and letting others’ misery feed their egos. Derek and his crew acted like a bunch of noisy alpha male baboons who owned Midland High.

I drew a hand giving the middle finger on the paper and lobbed it back at Derek. He opened it, and judging by the sour look on his face, I had pushed a button. He pointed his finger at me and drew his finger across his neck, threatening my end. I smiled to show I wasn’t afraid, though this was the farthest I had ever challenged Derek. I wondered how far to push it.

I turned back around in my seat and locked eyes with Lauren. She had stolen my heart in sixth grade, and to this day, a simple smile from her would drop me to my knees, even the sympathetic one she wore now. I couldn’t help but smile back at her as I thought, Yeah, your boyfriend is a d**k, especially to me, but I’m not the one who has to kiss his ugly mug.

When the bell rang, Derek knocked my books off my desk as he walked past. “My bad.” He muttered as he kicked my biology book to the front of the room with feigned innocence.

“Jerk.” I knelt to pick up my scattered books and flipped Derek off. He turned in time to see it.

Good.

His mouth quirked up in a half smile, amused at my passive aggressive return.

Mrs. Burke came over with my biology book. “Don’t let Mr. Mavers rattle you. He enjoys causing trouble.”

I wasn’t in the mood for adult advice. “Thanks,” I answered while putting the book in my stack. “See ya tomorrow, Mrs. Burke.” I walked out of her class to join the current of students flowing through the halls during passing period.

Lauren found me at my locker. “Hey, happy birthday. Listen, I’m sorry about Derek. He can be awful sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” I chuckled to myself as I shoved my books into my locker. “You don’t have to apologize for him. I’ll never like the guy, and he’ll probably always be a d**k to me.”

She reached out and gently touched my bandaged hand. “What happened?”

“Burned myself at breakfast.” I pulled my hand away and shut my locker. I wished we could have more moments like this where we could chat and be together as we had in the past. “You deserve better than him.” My teeth raked over my bottom lip as I debated holding my tongue or saying what I really wanted to.

Lauren looked at me, as if she anticipated what I said next.

“I should have asked you out in eighth grade when I had the chance. I would have made you happy.” But I had felt so unsure of myself at the time and hadn’t thought I’d make good boyfriend material. I had also been terrified at losing her friendship; any attempt to change the relationship risked losing it.

“I am happy.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

“Are you?” I knew the real answer. She and Derek had started off happy, but he’d became more controlling, especially when it came to our friendship. It had become a sore spot for them.

Derek came up from behind and punched the locker next to mine, startling both of us. “Looks like this conversation is over. Remember what I told you, Elmer?” He poked his finger into my shoulder hard enough that I knew I would have a bruise. “Stay away from my girl.” He grabbed Lauren by her elbow and hurried her down the hall, scolding her for disappearing on him.

Lauren looked back at me, the sadness in her eyes left me regretting my confession. I didn’t want her pity; I wanted her to dump him and find someone better than Derek—anyone but Derek.

“Looks like someone’s been poking the hornet’s nest again,” Leo said from behind me.

Leo and I had met sophomore year at lunch. He was bigger and more muscular than most sophomores at our school, making him and I an unmatched pair. My disorder kept me from building muscles. I had suspected the other students kept a wide girth from Leo because of his intimidating size and looks, but that didn’t scare me.

“What did ya do this time?” He nodded toward Derek.

“Nothing. Derek’s being a possessive jerk like usual and pissing all over his territory to mark it.” My remark made Leo laugh.

“Come on, or we’ll be late for bio.”

* * *

Leo’s friendship had come at a time when Lauren and Derek had grown closer and the distance between Lauren and I had become greater. The two had started dating our freshman year, but midyear Derek started isolating her from me and controlling her social media. She stopped taking my calls and replying to my texts besides occasionally sending, “Beat it, loser!”, which obviously, Derek had sent.

I had acquaintances at school, but Lauren had been the sun in my rainy day. Her carefree way and sweet smile made me forget I had a life-threatening disorder. But as Derek pulled her farther away, my depression and anxieties about my disorder grew. My parents worried for me, more so than usual. I assured them it was temporary and I just needed time to get over not having Lauren in my life. But it was easier said than done. Every emotion I felt seemed amplified in her absence.

My parents let me be for a while, but eventually my mom had had enough. One day, towards the end of summer, my mom came in my room and said, “Something has to change. You’re been a hermit all summer, holed up in your room and cut off from the world—it’s not healthy.” She made me promise that if my social life and mental well-being hadn’t improved by October, I would see a shrink.

I didn’t need a shrink, and to prove it, I put forth a solid attempt at being more social. The perfect opportunity came when I walked into fifth period lunch that first week of school and saw Leo Palkin, a kid I’d never seen before, sitting by himself.

I chose a seat across from Leo and said hello. In fact, I said hello several times with increasing volume to be sure he heard me, but he never responded. Finally, when the bell rang, Leo stood with his tray and grunted in my direction. Some might have seen that as a negative response, but I saw it as progress.

Over the next few days, I managed to get Leo to speak actual words to me. Granted, they weren’t the nicest words, but “I don’t need a lunch buddy,” was better than nothing. After much persistence, Leo finally realized I was not going away and he finally dropped the tough guy act, well, at least with me.

* * *

After bio, Leo and I headed out the side doors.

“Where’d you park? Back lot or side?”

“Back.” Leo led the way to his old yellow Volkswagon Bug. He’d inherited the clunker from his uncle. It had over 180,000 miles on it and plenty of rust, which Leo decided to cover with stickers.

“I love how you turned your rust bucket into a piece of propaganda.” I tried to smooth one of the stickers that had started to peel off. “This one’s barely hangin’ on.”

“Crap. Seriously? Which one?” He unlocked his side.

“‘Strangers have the best candy’.”

“Oh man, that one’s my favorite. I’ll have to put some glue on that when I get home.” Leo got in and reached over to unlock my side. The engine sputtered and coughed, trying to even out so he could put it in gear.

“Wow, she purrs like a kitten.” I snickered.

“Watch it, this baby takes your butt home each day.” He warned as he pushed on the gas pedal to try and help it settle. While I could walk to school in the morning, by the end of the school day, I was exhausted and the few blocks felt like a few miles. “Remind me to give you your present. It’s in the trunk. Happy birthday by the way.”

I chuckled. “Thanks, I almost thought you’d forgotten it.”

“Nah, I was just makin’ ya sweat.” Leo turned onto my street and slowed when we noticed a black BMW in my driveway. “Looks like you’ve got company. Want me to go in with you?”

“No, my dad’s car is in the driveway. Could just be his friend.” I didn’t recognize the car, and my parents didn’t have many friends. They mostly socialized with neighbors.

Leo parked on the street by my mailbox. “Wait here while I grab your gift.” He ran around to the trunk and returned a moment later with a square-ish box. “Open it,” he insisted as he shoved it into my hands.

I tore the paper and opened the brown box. “Candy cigarettes? No way! Where did you find these? Wait, there’s like fifty packs in here!”

“Twenty-four, actually, twenty-three to be exact. I had to try a pack for myself. Of course, I can only blame you since you insisted I try some the first chance I get,” he confessed. “Anyway, I remember you telling me how you remembered riding your bike to get some from the convenience store. Seemed like a happy memory from your childhood, and I saw these while shopping for new headphones. I had to get them for you. Funny thing is you can’t just buy one pack, you have to get twenty-four or nothing.” He chuckled. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks man. Best gift ever. It’s been years since I’ve...” I stopped mid-sentence when I saw him, the kid I collided with this morning, walking between our yard and the Ritter’s yard.He didn’t see us as he turned and headed north up the street. I sat frozen in my passenger seat staring after him. What was he doing here?

“Hey man, you okay? You seem kinda spooked.” Leo set his hand on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, no. It’s just that guy. I’ve never seen him before, and this morning I bumped into him, and now he’s here.”

Leo turned and searched out the front window. “What guy?”

I looked back and he was gone. “Where’d he go? He was right there! This guy walked between our yards and up the street. Where the hell did he go?”

“Is he a new neighbor or something?”

“No. I don’t know. This morning was the first I’d ever seen of him.” I unbuckled and got out, looking up and down my street but seeing no sign of the kid. Leo looked at me like I was crazy, but something struck me as odd about the stranger.

We entered through the unlocked front door and could hear voices coming from the kitchen.

“You will tell him tonight.” The male voice giving the command sounded familiar. “I’ll come for him in a week. It will give you time to say your goodbyes. We can’t wait any longer.”

I heard my mom sniffle as she agreed. Leo looked at me with a questioning look, but I shrugged, feeling as clueless as he looked.

“I am sorry you cannot join us. King Vintras does not want any confused feelings during this important time.” The familiar masculine voice paused. The people from the kitchen came into the living room. Dr. Jonas froze when he saw Leo and I. “Raynar, good to see you. Please excuse me.” He hurried past us and out the front door. Why was he here? We’d only ever seen him in the clinic.

My dad emerged from the kitchen, surprised to see us. “Hey, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Does that mean our appointment is canceled?”

“Oh, yeah. He came by to chat with us, but the appointment is canceled.” My dad seemed flustered.

Mom came around the kitchen corner wiping at her eyes. “Hi, honey,” she cleared her throat. “I didn’t hear you come in. Dr. Jonas was just here meeting with us about an upcoming trip.” She walked over to the front window and looked out to the street below. “We’ll tell you all about it...” She became overcome with emotion, pushing past my dad as she hurried down the hall, slamming the door behind her.

“Is she okay?” Leo asked.

“In time, hopefully.” My dad looked down the hall where my mom had retreated. He turned his focus back to us and asked, “How was school?” as if nothing had happened a moment ago.

“Fine.” I answered. “What’s wrong with Mom? And what did Dr. Jonas want?” Mom’s cries could be heard down the hall.

“We’ll talk about it over dinner.” He smiled reassuringly only the smile never touched his eyes. “I’m gonna go check on your mom. Good seein’ ya, Leo.” My dad retreated to the master bedroom where Mom had closed herself off away from the world.