The Ones She Left Behind

Chapter Fourteen

Maggie's eyes opened to a sea of darkness. The sky loomed overhead, bright and shining with stars and the moon. When she was unconscious, she was plagued by nightmares that she couldn’t wake up from, at least until she had felt the familiar calm that she only used to feel whenever Topher was around. 

She sat up, surprised that she wasn’t in any pain. She could make out the grass beneath her, but she didn’t feel the soft blades she would normally have expected to feel. Instead, she felt something she couldn’t describe.

Maggie held her hands out in front of her. She tried to put them together, but she didn’t feel skin. She pushed them harder together, and the two hands started to combine. When she pulled them apart, her eyes grew wide.

“Am I . . . Am I dead?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

“You aren’t dead, Maggie.”

Maggie turned toward the source of the voice, feeling a sense of familiarity. The voice was deeper than she remembered, but she still knew that voice anywhere. A young man stood just a few feet behind her, his dark locks falling just above his gray eyes in a manner that she had only ever seen on one person before. 

“Topher, is it really you?”

He nodded as Maggie got to her feet. She had been waiting for this moment, but now she was unsure of what to do. Part of her wanted to cry, but she believed she no longer had tear ducts. Another part of her wanted to run into his arms, but it was stopped by the part of her that remembered how he had pushed her away in her dream that wasn’t a dream. 

“There’s no reason to be afraid now, Maggie.” He took a step closer to her. “I promise you I’ll fix this mess.”

“I-I think . . . someone killed me.”

Topher shook his head. “You were attacked by another spirit who took possession of your body. Your body is still alive. All we need to do is get you back into it.”

Maggie closed her eyes as she tried to muster something else to say. Everything she wanted to say threatened to spill out all at once, but Topher spoke first.

"I know you said before that you never wanted to see me again. But, I also know how much you tried to reach out to me after the fact. I just want you to know that I'll help you through this as long as you want me to."

“Wh-why would you want to help me? After the way I treated you, I don’t deserve your help.” 

“You did nothing wrong. You did everything I wanted you to do. I can’t be mad at you for that.”

She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have sent you away. You should have stayed. We could have talked it out.”

“You were afraid of me, Maggie.” His expression was unreadable. “I don’t want you to be afraid, so I thought the best decision was to leave. I was never upset with you, and I’ll do everything I can to help you now as long as you want me to.”

“I’m not afraid of you anymore. I’m only afraid of being without you. Please, don’t leave me again.”

“Right now, I’m by your side. I’ll help you get your body back.”

“And after that? Will you stay with me?”

“It’s not a good idea, Maggie.”

She felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. “You have to come home with me, Topher. I can’t deal with life without you.”

“Right now, I’m with you,” he reiterated. “Your focus should be on getting your body back. That’s all that matters right now. Do you see the light pink line going up your left arm? I call it a life line. It tells us how much time we have to get you back inside your body. When that line fully disappears, you can’t go back so we have to hurry.”

Looking down at her arm, Maggie frowned as she noticed the line he was talking about. Currently, it was full as it spread to the tip of her index finger, indicating it hadn’t started to disappear yet.

“You don’t know what it was like for me without you.” She folded her arms. “You give me more than I ever realized. I only had the courage to do the things I was doing because I knew you were there to catch me if I fell. You always protected me, and I knew you would always protect me. So, forgive me for not focusing on getting my body back, but I need you to stay with me.”

Topher reached out his hand, as if he was going to touch her face, but before it made contact, his arm fell back to his side and he looked away from her.

“There is one thing I should probably tell you. If we touch, we’ll see into each other’s souls. We would feel each other’s emotions, see each other’s memories, and read each other’s thoughts. I know how to block others from seeing into my mind, but you don’t, and so I’ll respect your privacy.”

Maggie’s eyes widened. “That’s amazing. I could touch you, and you would feel it, then?”

“I could feel it, but it’s different from when humans touch. It’s like, wherever you would touch me, you would feel like a part of me. It’s called soul merging.”

“Have you ever done that with another spirit before?” She wasn’t sure what answer she wanted. He seemed to have first-hand experience with this concept, and she couldn’t help but to already feel a tinge of jealousy. 

“Yes. The first time, we didn’t know that would happen. Most times after that were from her intention.”

Maggie’s jealousy grew as she c****d an eyebrow. “Her?”

“Actually, she’s the one who took over your body.” His expression hardened. “Do you remember years ago when you told me about your mom’s miscarriage? She would have been your little sister. She has been with us ever since.”

Maggie’s jealousy was soon replaced with surprise. “Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

“At first, she didn’t want you to know, but lately she has been having second thoughts. She is so desperate to connect with humans, especially with your mom. I think that’s why she took over your body.”

“So, she’s the one who attacked me? Was she upset because you left?”

He nodded. “I think that’s part of the reason, but Darcy is very complex. She probably had an entire list of reasons, and we would barely scratch the surface. But, I’m glad it’s her because I know how to deal with her. I don’t think we’ll have much problem getting her out of your body.”

She looked away as she remembered the news stories about Topher that had suddenly appeared on her laptop screen. She knew then that another spirit was involved, but she had no idea it had been her own sister. Darcy knew more about Topher than she did. Was it all because of soul merging, or had Topher willingly told Darcy things he never told Maggie? Either way, Maggie couldn’t help the jealous feelings welling up inside her as she realized Topher had been that close to another spirit, even if that spirit was her little sister.

“I want to try soul merging.” She met his gaze once more. “I always wanted to hug you, and for you to actually feel it. I don’t hide anything from you, Topher, so I don’t need to block you. If you want to block me from seeing anything, I don’t mind. I just want to be able to finally give you the hugs I’ve wanted to give you since we met.” Maggie mustered up a playful smile, but it came out more flirty than she expected it to. “It’s not fair for you to do that with my sister and not with me.”

Topher was a bit taken aback by her request. This form of intimacy was one that he had wanted to feel with her for a long time, but now that the opportunity presented itself, he couldn't help but worry about what could come from it. What if he accidentally revealed his secrets to her? If she found out he was in love with her, how would she react? 

He looked into her eyes, finding them full of hope and longing. He may not ever have this chance again, he realized. Once Maggie returned to her body, this would no longer be possible. Darcy always told him to seize opportunities to tell Maggie how he felt, but none of those moments ever felt right. This moment was created by Darcy to allow him to show Maggie how he felt, and if he wasted it, he would be out of chances, especially if he didn't stay with her.

Topher looked down at the line on Maggie's left arm. The line ran to where her heart had been, and  it would disappear little by little as time went by. So far, the line hadn't changed. 

Meeting her gaze once again, Topher's previous objections to letting another spirit touch him began to disappear as the longing for her touch started to take over. If only for a moment, he would let himself be selfish.