The Ones She Left Behind

Chapter Fifteen

Darcy stared at the outside of Lani’s home, taking in the way the wind felt against her cheeks and neck. Every sensation was new--everything from opening and closing the car door to the sick feeling she had while Lani was driving her home from the hospital. This was how it felt to be alive, she thought.

“Remember what the doctor said. Take it easy, and don’t even think about going anywhere near my alcohol stash for at least the next week.”

Darcy fought the urge to roll her eyes. Lani was trying to get better at parenting after alcohol had played an alleged role in why she ended up in the hospital, but Darcy knew the facade would fade within a few days, and Lani would return to her usual, laid back self. Darcy, however, had no interest in getting drunk or having anything to do with alcohol. She knew that it wouldn’t be long before Topher found out what she did and would try to get Maggie her body back. She knew her time of being alive would probably not last very long, and she wanted to make the most of this experience while she could.

Lani opened the front door, and Darcy stepped inside. “I think I’ll just go to my room and lay down for a while.”

Lani nodded as Darcy started to head downstairs. The stairs, which had previously not been an issue for her, were suddenly intimidating. One wrong step and she could fall, she realized. As she was still getting used to her new limbs, she decided to only take small steps until she reached the bottom. 

When she reached the basement, she glanced at the pool table, remembering how much Topher had looked forward to using it while Maggie slept. He wasn’t too happy about the idea of Maggie moving in with Lani, but she knew he had started to warm up to the idea, at least in some regards, and the pool table had been a help in that.

Now, the table sat empty, untouched for several days. Darcy shook the thought from her head as she headed to Maggie’s room. Soon, she knew that table would be less neglected. 

Darcy started to step into the door, bumping her head against the wood. Groaning, she held her head in her hand, using the other to open the door. This was something that would take time to get used to, she realized.

Maggie’s room wasn’t all that decorated. After the first couple of homes Maggie had lived in, she decided not to put much effort into her rooms as she didn’t expect to stay there very long. Darcy didn’t know how long she would be able to stay in Maggie’s body, but she knew she would probably live there less than Maggie ever lived in any of her homes. Still, there was a part of her that wanted to make the room her own. This would be her only proof that she had been here, that she was alive. 

Darcy walked over to Maggie’s bed, finding her cell phone resting in the center. A red light was blinking red, indicating she had a message. When she wanted to snoop through Maggie’s phone in the past, she had just possessed it. She had seen Maggie press the buttons on the side before, so she pressed those until the screen came on. She found several missed calls and texts, most of which from someone named Diane. She scrolled through the messages, most of which were just asking Maggie how she was, what had happened, and if she wanted to talk. The texts became more frantic the further Darcy scrolled down the list. Darcy figured if she continued to ignore the messages, Diane might end up showing up at Lani’s house. 

Taking a deep breath, Darcy thought about how Maggie would respond as she started typing.

Sorry for worrying you. I’m ok, just some family drama. 

Darcy sent the message, and a few moments later, the phone vibrated again.

Do you want to talk?

Darcy bit her lip. She was still getting used to being alive. Interactions with Lani were hard enough. Could she handle talking to Maggie’s friends?

Not right now. Maybe tomorrow?

 Darcy continued to scroll Maggie’s phone, noticing another message from Rydelle.

Why did you break up with Lewis? 

Because she belongs with Topher, Darcy thought. How could she explain that her sister dumped Lewis because her soul mate is really a ghost? What other explanation could she offer Rydelle?

Because I don’t feel that way about him.

Putting the phone back on the bed, Darcy took another look around the room. She definitely needed to decorate, she decided.

Darcy headed back upstairs, finding Lani in the kitchen as she had just put something into the oven.

“Lani, how long do you think I’ll stay here with you?”

Lani turned toward her. “At least until you graduate, I think. Why?”

“If I’m going to be living here for a while, do you mind if I decorate my room?” 

Lani paused for a moment, but then she nodded. “I think you’ll get your care allowance sometime next week. I’ll give you some of that to get some decorations for your room. And while you’re at it, maybe get some new clothes.”

Darcy smiled. “Thank you, Aunt Lani. You’re the best.”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Topher stood a few feet in front of Maggie. He extended his hand, bracing himself for what was coming next.

“Just hands?” Maggie asked, unable to hide her disappointment. “You know I’ve been wanting to give you a hug since we met.”

“We need to start small. If we don’t, you’ll be overwhelmed by it if we make too much contact at once. The more of us that touches, the stronger the connection. If you really want more, we can work our way into it.”

Maggie hesitated before covering his hand with her own. She felt a rush of warm energy spread from her palms and up her arms. She was used to Topher giving her calming feelings when she was human, but this was much stronger.

How is this?

Maggie stared up at Topher’s face, startled that his lips hadn’t moved. If her eyes had been closed, she wasn’t sure if she would’ve been able to tell the difference.

That depends. Are you going to show me something good?

His lips curled into a small smile. Close your eyes.

Maggie closed her eyes, and suddenly, she saw her childhood home. She drew closer to it, as if drawn to one specific window. Once she reached the window, she peered inside. There, she saw her ten-year-old self, sitting on her bed, and clutching a stuffed, pink unicorn to her chest. 

“Uni, I don’t understand. Why can’t I ever make any friends? What did I do wrong? Why am I always being punished?” Little Maggie clutched her unicorn tighter as tears rolled down her face. “Just one. I’d be happy with that.”

A strange sensation Maggie couldn’t describe hit her as she drew closer to her younger self, which she realized meant Topher had gone through the wall. Little Maggie didn’t look up, and Maggie never remembered Topher having been there for this.

The front door slammed shut, and little Maggie jumped. Topher was staring intently at her arms, which were mostly exposed by her purple t-shirt. Bruises of various colors covered them, most of which were shaped like fingerprints.

The memory faded, and Maggie opened her eyes. Topher, however, didn’t remove his hands, much to her surprise.

That was the moment I first saw you. It was at that moment I knew I had to be your friend.

Do you wish you hadn’t?

Topher’s smile dimmed. Looking into her eyes, he removed his right hand and rested it on her cheek. You know my one and only regret. 

Topher dropped his hands, and Maggie felt the break in their connection. She frowned.

"Is something wrong?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I just don't know if we should really continue."

"Did you see something?"

"You've been trying to drink away your pain," he said. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you found out about your mom."

"I wasn't really even consciously thinking about it," she said. 

"You don't have to be. Unless you specifically show me something, I can see almost anything until you learn to block me."

"There's nothing I would hide from you," she said. "We can continue, Topher. I told you this doesn't scare me. I have nothing to hide from you."

Topher sighed. "Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you. This time, put your hands on my face."

Maggie did as he said. She expected his hands to also go to her face, but she was surprised when they found her hips instead. It still wasn’t quite the proper hug that she wanted, given the space still between them, but she was getting closer. Touching his face, she felt the connection even stronger than before. 

Now, it’s your turn to show me something.

At first, Maggie wasn’t sure what she wanted to show him. He had been with her for everything over the last six years, except for the most recent events. Her thoughts drifted to Lewis, whom Topher made clear that he didn’t like. Closing her eyes, she thought about the conversation she had had with Lewis about the fight she had had with Topher, and then she thought about just that morning when she had broken up with Lewis. She figured at least the latter would make him happy.

When Maggie opened her eyes, she found Topher staring at her. Neither removed their hands.

Why did you break up with him?

Maggie looked away. I guess I wasn’t as ready for dating as I thought I was.

Topher dropped his hands. Reluctantly, Maggie did the same.

“I was only strong because you made me feel strong. I was afraid of almost everything after you left,” she explained.

“The world isn’t that scary,” he said. “Sure, there are some bad people out there, but as long as you surround yourself with good people, you should be fine.”

“I guess I don’t trust my own judgement.”

“You know what decisions are best for you. Don’t worry about impressing people, and you’ll be okay.”

“Can I . . . have my hug now?”

Topher nodded. “If you think you’re ready for it.”

“I’ve been waiting six years to hug you,” she said. “It better be a good one.”

He smiled, but she couldn’t help but notice the sadness it tried to hide. Topher wrapped his arms around her waist as she wrapped hers around his back. He pulled her against him, and Maggie felt an even stronger connection than before. If he hadn’t prepared her, she knew it would have been even more overwhelming. The warming calm that Maggie was so used to feeling in his presence was stronger than ever. She snuggled against his chest as much as she could, trying to feel as much of it as she could.

A small smile played on Topher’s lips. I see you like my new look.

What makes you think that?

You keep randomly thinking about how attractive I am.

If Maggie could have blushed, she knew her face would be red as a tomato. Instead, she tried to bury her face as deep into his chest as she could, which may not have been the wisest decision.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just find it amusing is all. You know I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known, both as a human and now as a ghost.

Now, Maggie imagined her face would be as red as a tomato. You . . . must not have met many women.

No other woman has made me feel the way I feel about you. 

Maggie met his gaze, finding him staring back at her with an intensity she had only seen when he was protecting her from her father. What was bringing on this intensity now? She wasn't in immediate danger. It was only the two of them. 

I love you.