Inside a Nerd's Mind

A Tale of Sapientiae I

It was a quiet night.

You can only hear the caws of the crows and the chirps of the crickets.

I looked down at the hall which was long and dark but was prestige for it was Great.

Each 12 of the columns with 6 on each side bear the banner of the mighty crown. The sigil, a golden lion wearing a crown with a sword and a quill on its sides on a coat of crimson red. The lion represents the crown’s bravery and strength, unmatched by anyone else in the country. The crown symbolizes the honor – the honor of being able to rule all of the lands and all of the people within your midst. The sword represents the crown’s might, unrivaled by any other kingdom that wishes to set foot and conquer our lands. The quill signifies the wisdom and the knowledge that the crown entails when it comes to battle or to seek the order and the justice of the people that it holds. The red? – well, it’s there to strike fear into the hearts of those who wishes to challenge the crown. A sight to see for just the commonfolk but you get sick of it after seeing it every day.

I turned my head over to the throne that is made of pure steel, not gold, to represent the crown’s might and valor. It’s hideous as you only have this so-called might and valor because of the family name you’re carrying. It is dubbed as the “seat of honor” in all of the kingdoms but more commonly called the Iron Throne. I’ve never much given a thought on the throne, it’s simply just a chair that an important person sits in. It’s old, it’s rusty, and it’s probably bad smelling already from all the butts that wiped it. Maybe, it’s the aura; the feeling of power that you hold in your hands if you sit on the throne, and that power – is what people will die for.

I sat on the throne, to re-live the experience of my first time grasping it. Every day and every night I dreamed of sitting on the throne when I was a child. I could only see it but now I can touch it, lick it, feel it, hold it, and kiss it.

I still remember my first time, it was at night and my father was having a meeting, and on the way back to my room, I stumbled across the Great Hall. There was no one around. Heck! There were even no guards in the hall. I sought the opportunity. I was walking slowly towards it, making sure there was no one to see me while savoring each time I step forward. I got near to it, it’s finally within my grasp. And when I touched it, I felt a fire burn and spread within my heart - I felt pride, excitement, and fear. I finally sat on it, looking down at the Great Hall, imagining hundreds and thousands of people cheering for me, bowing to me, honoring me. That is the only thing I can think of, the praise that I will get. Prince and princesses, lords and ladies, noblemen and noblewomen, even the common folk from great distances will come to see me, praise me, and proclaim my name. But once you get the hang of it, the feeling slowly withers away, similar to the body of the mortal that sits on it.

I stood up and walked down the hall. With each and every step that I make, my shoe leaves a print on the lush, thick, and soft velvet carpet. You can only see the light and hear the wind gushing out through the windows. The beautiful white curtains dancing and swaying to each beat of the breeze.

I reached for the handle of the castle gate. It was big, circular, and it was cold. Usually, guards and servants would open the gate for me. It felt difference this time as if I was using the hand of a servant opening the big cold gate with my big cold hands.

Once I stepped outside the gates, I saw the city in its full glory. You see, the castle is built on top of a small hill while the city of the commoners is in the flatlands. Therefore, you can see the city’s entirety from up the castle. The city shines bright as ever, torches and lamps are still burning while merchants, traders, and customers are still flocking the marketplaces, and ships are still docking and unloading at the city port. Now I know why I dubbed this as the “city that never sleeps”. Even at night you can see the attempt of the people and the struggle to make good life, that even at night you can see the endeavor of the workers to push through and exercise hard work for the industry that will make them gold.

I hope they realize that the treasure of the health is the one that will give them wealth.

One of the two soldiers outside the castle gate saw me, turned to me, and asked in a deep low voice “Your Grace, why are you out this time of the night?”

“I just needed a little fresh air, that’s all.” I replied humbly.

“If you would, your grace, I would like to accompany you.” The soldier asked.

“It’s fine, you do a good job. I appreciate it.” I declined.

He nodded and we parted ways.

I turned around. “Actually, why don’t you take the night off? Get some rest.” I offered.

“I shall be at rest when it is time to rest, it is my time to serve.” The soldier declared.

“Very well then, carry on.” I acknowledged.

I proceeded to walk under the night, glancing at the stars.

I sat on a bench in the castle garden. It’s not that big but it’s beautiful.

There were daisies, tulips, roses, lilies, lilacs, orchids, daffodils, marigolds – you name it. Each with different varieties – whether it be colors or sizes. And the smell, ooooh, it smells divine like a beautiful goddess who just came out the river-filled roses. We all have our own goddesses, it’s that one smell that we just can’t forget whether it be from a loved one, medicine, yourself or other people – other people have that distinct smell that is so unique, we can only smell it from them. Should it only be limited to smell though? A taste is as powerful as the smell. We all have that one taste that we so yearn for. That taste that we seek is a temptation that will either bring us joy or despair. It may not be a literal taste, but may be a metaphorical one – the taste of honor, justice, wealth, thrill, or peace. These are the tastes that we want, that we seek, and when we get that taste, we tend to forget that we have other senses than the taste. We tend to forget that we have other needs.

There’s this phrase, it’s called “bread and circuses”. Simply put, if you give men the ability to eat and to enjoy entertainment then they will never revolt or care for anything else happening around them. It’s the politician way of getting control of the people, not by being a good public servant, but instead giving them distractions. People will give up their societal responsibilities and in turn – their power, just for a taste of food and pleasure. I say this to you, don’t be like one of these people. These people, they don’t know how to be human. Being human is simply to have a purpose, to have ambition, a dream, aspirations, hope, desire, and the goal? – is for it to come true. A human life is only as short as it can be. Living it without purpose is simply just wasting your time. Life is boring. Life is difficult. We are the only way that stands between innovation and stagnation. The man that came before, they didn’t just sit, sleep, and watch the sun rise over the east. They hunt and gathered for their own survival. They innovated, evolved – for a better and longer survival. But why should we choose to survive if there is nothing worth surviving for? Would you rather be a mindless zombie or an experienced monkey? Man used to look up in the stars and wonder our place in the world. Now, we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt.

But who should we fear? People with low or no ambitions at all or people with huge ambitions in their life? People without ambitions will just cling to the minimum or whatever they’re comfortable with, they don’t have the need to want more. Meanwhile, people with huge ambitions will cross rivers, climb mountains, and dig to the center of the Earth just to achieve their yearning. Those kinds of men are dangerous. They won’t spare anyone and no mercy shall be brought upon them if someone dares to oppose their path to accomplishment. They will either bring good fortune or misery. How could we deduce which people are which? That is something that I have yet to learn after many years of living on this wicked land.