Inside a Nerd's Mind

Tap

“You’re turning red.” teased Zachary while pointing at me.

I felt like I was being burned alive from the heat that I was experiencing.

I was so nervous that I was like a volcano going to erupt hot red lava.

Everyone kept laughing more as they saw me turn tomato red.

I looked at Fiona and I saw her just smiling, not laughing, but smiling very sweetly.

That made it more embarrassing, the girl that I like, looking at me while everyone else was laughing at me.

It was a total nightmare.

I tried to hide my embarrassment and nervousness by hunching my back, leaning forwards, and just hugging my body.

I was relieved when Ms. Vargas stopped the ruckus.

“Okay everyone, calm down, that’s enough.” She announced.

She was like a guardian angel that fell from heaven.

“THANK THE HEAVENS!” I exclaimed to myself.

Slowly soon after, everything calmed down, and the introduction continued on to the last few remaining.

While my other classmates were introducing themselves, I can’t keep my eye off of Fiona.

I kept staring at her even though I can only see the back of her head and her luscious hair. I kept imagining her face, that moment when I first saw her - how beautiful she is, how I wanted to know her more, how I wished to be with her before everything has gone to s**t.

After some time, we all finished introducing ourselves in front of the class.

The bell rang then Ms. Vargas said his farewell.

I looked at the clock and it was 9:00 AM. It’s time for recess.

I packed my things neatly, put everything that I’ve put outside back into my bag, and went out of the room. Before leaving, I have a habit of organizing my things so they won’t get lost or moved when I’m gone. I don’t trust these idiots around me. There has been a lot of times where my classmates have borrowed things of mine and never returned it back. When I ask about it, they’ll say, “Oh, I don’t know where it is now. I’m sorry,” like their sorry would give me that thing or will pay me back. Other times they would give it to another person and pass the blame to them, “I gave it to x” and then when I ask x about it, “I remember giving it earlier to y”, and so on and so on until no one remembers where it actually is.  It’s just so annoying that I started to become selfish about my things. When someone that I’m not really close to asks about borrowing my stuff, I just tell them that I don’t have one. Call me selfish but people around you are more selfish. They don’t care about you or your stuff. It’s crazy how the actions of other people cause you to do bad and then they blame you for doing that stuff. Who do I blame? Myself? I mean, it’s not my fault that my stuff is getting lost every time I let other people borrow it. Do I blame them? If I should, what should I do to avoid it? That’s right, only give it to people that I trust would bring it back.

Me, Zach, Jeremy, and Kim were walking in the hallway towards the canteen for recess.

“So, you really like this Fiona girl, huh?” grinned Zach.

I was speechless.

“Yeah, I mean you can just see how red Ethan got earlier.” teased Jeremy before chuckling.

Kim laughed awkwardly then joked “Our buddy boy is now growing up, huh. It only seemed yesterday that he was able to walk.”

The three of them laughed while I remained speechless.

It was the first time that I got embarrassed like this in class, and it’s more embarrassing as the reason is because of a girl and she was there to see it.

We got to the cafeteria and it’s packed with students of different grade levels. It was like the whole school came on recess at the same time.

“How are we going to buy in this crowd?” asked Zachary.

“It’s like we’re in a circus!” expressed Jeremy.

“Wow, first day, and this school already has great planning.” Zachary sarcastically joked.

“Do you guys still want to eat?” I asked.

“Of course, I’m starvingggggggg. I feel like I can eat a whole horse.” expressed Jeremy.

“Okay, here’s the plan. Ethan and Kim, you go find us a table then me and Jeremy can buy our food,” commanded Zachary.

“Alright!” me and Kim answered.

“I’ll have a chicken,” I said.

“I’ll take a steak,” Kim replied.

“So, the usual then?” laughed Zach.

I and Kim looked at each other, realized what just happened, and chuckled with Zach.

“Alright, see you at the table.” farewelled Zach.

I and Kim went to look for a table while Zach and Jeremy marched through the enemy formation to get the necessary nutrients that we need.

“Everything table is occupied already with a lot of people even standing on the side. How are we going to find a table?” asked Kim.

“Well, we just need to have a keen eye,” I suggested.

“I’m not an eagle and it’s really hot in here. I can’t concentrate,” complained Kim.

“Let me.” I boasted as I soared through the cafeteria, looking at every table at my sight and every person that stands, observing every group’s food if they’re already near to finishing.

I saw one group that almost finished their food so I stand near them, hiding in plain sight, stalking each and every one of their moves, judging when they would be finishing, so I can swoop in like an eagle and grab their table.

But then I assumed poorly, I had an oversight, the table that was on the other side was the one who stood up rather than the table that I observed; so, another group was able to take it.

“Damn, so close.” I expressed to myself as Kim looked at me with pleading eyes as if she’s asking me “Are we going to survive?”.

I put my serious face on. I locked my eyes on everyone, like a predator stalking every prey for food.

Alas! The table beside me stood up and I quickly swoop in and conquered the table as if it is my own castle.

“Finally!” expressed Kim.

As we seated down, I saw Zachary and Jeremy slowly approaching us.

“Ah, how’d you able to get a table on this large of a crowd?” asked Zachary.

“Eagle sense.” I grinned.

“Eagle sense, huh.” criticized Jeremy. “Did your eagle sense see Fiona over there?” He chuckled.

“What! Where?” I immediately asked as I regretted what I said.

I started sweating nervously.

I looked around, checking every corner of where she could be.

Jeremy noticed me and teased me, “Who are you looking for, buddy?” as he grinned.

“She’s right over there,” said Zachary as he pointed towards her.

I looked towards where Zachary pointed, I can’t seem to find her anywhere. I looked at every person in the vicinity, examining their very body, I still remember the first time that I saw her – her sweet smile, I still remember when I stared at her back – I memorized it, I kept looking and looking when someone tapped on my right shoulder.

Who could it be?

Why are they tapping me?

Is it Kim, is she trying to fool me?

Is it one of my classmates?

Is someone even tapping me or is it my own imagination?

Or maybe, my greatest and worst dreams have been realized, maybe it is her who is tapping me, maybe it is the most beautiful girl that I’ve seen in this world, maybe... it is - her.