Inside a Nerd's Mind

...and Terror

We were reaching that dark part of town. It’s as dark as a high school bully’s conscience. We can’t see anyone walking far in front. The next lamp post is about a kilometer ahead. It’s dark and quiet, you can only hear the crickets chirping and the joyful laugh of my friends. I’m surprised on how no one have shouted at us for being this noisy at this late hour in the night. A few houses before, I saw a lamp turn on at a bedroom window and a dark figure of a woman was casted onto the road. I thought it was the time we are going to get screamed at but the lamp turned off when we passed the house.

After at least 20 minutes of walking with just using our cellphones as the source of light to guide us, I’ve noticed the surrounds to have been a little lighter. It’s as if my eyes have a dim flashlight integrated in it. Suddenly, I remembered an article that I read on f*******:. Yeah, f*******: – like everything posted there is true. Anyways, the post said that the reason why pirates wear eyepatches is not because they have an eye missing or is blind but so that their eye is adjusted to the dark in the lower deck. I’ve read that in this process called as “dark adaptation” that the pupils expand too. Isn’t it amazing on how the eyes can adjust to the darkness? It’s amazing and cool to know that the body has these kinds of processes for the human body to survive in the environment. It’s as if our body wants us to live but we continuously ignore that and proceed towards danger itself. Have you ever experienced such a thing? Try it. Close all your lights at night but let your eyes remain open. After a while, the pitch-black darkness that you see would become lighter.

What if humans actually apply those adjustment survival techniques? Instead of sitting around and waiting for destiny to happen, what if we just… do it ourselves? Wouldn’t that make the world a better place? People tend to just sit and wait for the good things to happen. This isn’t a fantasy world. A genie wouldn’t just appear out of a lamp to give you three wishes nor a fairy godmother to give you a dress until the clock strikes 12. Gold and glory wouldn’t just appear out of the sky and rain down on you. What if – in every bad experience that we get – we… try to make it good instead of just quitting, giving up, ignoring, or leaving it to fate. We only have one shot in the world. We only have one shot in life. We only have one shot living - and the clock is already ticking. Let’s make it count.

I look around. Zachary and Jeremy are still talking, Kim is on her phone, and my mom… well, she’s in front of me looking at the moon while I’m at the very back looking at the stars. Isn’t it a great way to daydream? Just by looking at the great blue sky or the dark cold night, you can already imagine a whole day’s worth of events. I do that all the time. Isn’t it obvious by now? I daydream and make a world of my own when I want to escape reality. It’s just more refreshing to think about.

As we were still walking, I was behind. I saw a flashlight ray turn on at the ground beneath me and immediately turned off. I looked back and saw… no one. There was no sign of anyone, I didn’t even see a shadow. I couldn’t find where the person might’ve hide. I didn’t even know if it’s a person.

I see the light’s ray again but this time, on my mother’s feet. I looked back and still saw no one.

I’m becoming more nervous now. My heart is beating fast and I started sweating.

Where could this light be coming from? Who could it be coming from?

“Uhhh… moooooom.” I nervously murmured as I tugged my mom’s shirt.

“Yes honey?” Mom asked.

“Do you also see a flashlight shining at the ground?” I whispered.

“What light?” Mom asked as she turned and looked around. “I don’t see any light.” She added.

“Uhh… there was… a light before. It first shined over my feet… then after… yours.” I stuttered.

“Huh? What are you guys talking about here?” Zachary asked.

“Ethan was just saying that he was a flashlight shine at us.” My mom explained.

“Huh. But there’s no one around?” Jeremy pondered as he looked around.

“He’s probably just tired. I mean, we’ve been walking for a long time even after we have just done partying.” Zachary suggested.

I mull over what Zachary has said. I might be just seeing things so I just ignored the thought.

After a while, I saw the light again. But this time, there were two of them, both in me and my mother’s. I looked back – still, no one.

“Moooooom” I murmured.

Then, a whistle. It was from the front. I looked forward and saw two men in black suits with black sunglasses run towards us. The two lights turned on again. I looked back and saw another two men in black suits with black sunglasses running towards us.

We were scared as f**k. I think I can hear Zachary shitting himself.

We may have the same number of people but we’re just children and they’re bigger.

“STOP!” One of the men said in a deep loud grungy voice.

“Wh-Wh-What do we do?” I shrieked.

My mom looked around probably planning on what to do. I can see a mix of fear and courage in her face as if she’s scared of our lives but is also willing to sacrifice and defend our lives.

“TO THE ALLEY! GO! RUN!” My mom yelled.

Good thing there was an alley just near where we were to the right. It was a smaller and cramped than the previous road. It would take us to the wrong direction to home but it was a matter of life and death.

“LET’S GO!” Kim screamed as she waved her arms towards the alley.

Me, Zachary, and Jeremy looked at each other as if we were confused whether to follow Kim or not.

“GO! GO! RUN!” repeated Mother as she was pushing us back into the alley.

Zachary and Jeremy already picked up their legs and followed Kim through the alley.

“MOM! You need to come with us.” I pleaded as I stood still trying to pull her.

At this point, I’m beginning to cry.

The scary men are already nearing and I didn’t know what to do.

“GO! GO! I’LL BE BACK!” She declared.

I really didn’t know what to do. Should I leave the woman that I love greatest in the world and I owe all my life to? Or should I stay behind and sacrifice my life as she would sacrifice hers.

I was in a dilemma.

I love my mother and I didn’t want to ever leave her side.

But, at the same time, I’m still young and still want to experience the world for myself.

Should I become selfish or selfless?

Should I follow my logic or emotion?

Will one of us be saved or will none of us?

“Ethan, go.” Said mother in a soft slow manner.

It melted by heart.

I didn’t know what came into me but I immediately ran to the alley, trying to catch up with the others.

While running, I felt a light flash behind me.

It was hot that I felt like my back was being grilled.

It was so bright that I was blinded, my whole vision turned white even if I was turned away.

It felt like a thousand suns converged into the ground at once.

But after a second, it was gone.

I looked back in confusion on what happened.

I saw – I saw – no one.

I didn’t see my mother nor the men that was after her.

I didn’t hear any voices nor any grunts after I ran.

I didn’t even see any signs of it happening.

I was confused.

Am I currently dreaming?

Was I just daydreaming?

Am I so tired that I’m making up events as I walk?

Am I living inside a simulation?

Is this The Matrix?

I looked in front and see Zachary, Jeremy, and Kim still running.

 “Hey guys!” I screamed as I tried to call their attention.

No luck.

“Hey guys!” I yelled again.

I saw Kim turn around so I shouted “Come here!” and signaled for them to come back.

I noticed that I was able to get her attention and she started to call for the other two.

I turned back and ran to where my mom was to investigate.

Once I reached it, I looked down the street and looked both ways.

The street was empty.

Like a void.

There was no one there.

It was the same as we first saw it.

There was no trace of my mother nor the men that ran towards her.

There was no trace of the light that I felt behind me.

Did the light take my mother?

Was the men sent by the light to take my mother?

Or was my mother saved by the light from those men?

What was that light?

Was that God as we all know it?

Or is it from a supernatural being out of this world?

Why did they take my mother?

Is my mother an alien?

Did my mother do anything bad in the past?

Is she really my mother?

Am I really her son?

Is she human?

Am I human?

Is this a glitch in the matrix?

Am I already dead?