I want to live

Chapter 6

Jackson's Pov

After laying Jay down on the covers, and letting him keep the headphones on, in case he woke up again. Jackson pushed his dark brown-ish hair back. He sat at the edge of the bed; the same way Elijah had done just minutes before. He checked his phone to see his friends have been spamming him with snaps from a certain 'Connor' it was a picture of him in a cafe, with the message 'how did it go with the Jay kid?' above his head.

I go to Chat.

Jackie:

How do you know about that?

Connor:

I meet Isaac earlier, he told me!

Jackie:

Here's still here

Connor:

Awwh~ Send a Picture! >.Jackie:

Creep, no! He's sleeping, I'm not disturbing him,

Connor:

Oh~ you're already acting like his boyfriend >wConnor:

Jackson~ Isaac left meee!! ;-; ~

Connor:

I'm coming over to you, I want to meet Jay too~

Jackie:

You know, we have to go to school tomorrow right? I'm going to ask him if he wants to stay tonight too or want me to drive him home.

Connor:

OMG is the world going under?! YOU care about school 0.0!

Connor:

Fine~ but don’t think you can hide this cute from me forever~!

•~•

Jackson sighed and looked at his phone, a thought then hit him, Jay, hadn't eaten all day... Jackson's eyes widened, how could he not have and why didn't Jay say anything?! I know he's only been here a few hours and he slept half the time, but still.

I carefully looked over at him, the sleeping male turned in the bed so he was lying fully on his back and my eyes grew bigger as I saw the shirt fell longer and longer down, making the fact that he was extremely thin, extremely obvious.

„I have to wake him, he needs to eat„ I gently shake him and his long eye-lashes lightly move as they show what they have been hiding underneath, remarkably dark eyes, they made it seem like his pupil and eye-color was melding together in a dark black.

I didn't notice I was staring until he tilted his head and pouted. "Why did you wake me up~?" He whines as he makes his hands into fists and rubs his eyes. „Cute„ Jackson thought as he slowly got up from the bed.

"I remembered, you haven't eaten anything yet," I stretched my hand out once again, but this time Jay was a little quicker to take it, maybe he trusts me more. I smile a bit at the thought of him trusting me.

"Don't worry, I'm used to not eating much... or nothing at all..." He mumbles the last part, so I didn't quite hear it.

I noticed that Jay's breathing was uneven and also noticed how he was trying to hide it, by forcing his beating through his nose. I move my face closer to him and his breathing completely stops, our foreheads connect. "JAY!" His eyes widen and he stumbles back, faces flushed as he touches the place our heads touched "You're burning up," I grab Jay's hand and force him out my bedroom and into the kitchen.

I sat him on a chair, and he looks at just blankly out into space like his brain didn't register what just happen.

I start going through my cabinets to find some medicine that could calm his fever or cold, whatever it was down. I finally find something put it on the table and go looking for a glass, I never really remembered where I put all my things

I turn back and the pill was gone, I guess he could feel my glancing since he began talking. "Don't worry, I already ate it," "Yah! It's unhealthy to eat it without drinking water with it," I sigh as I walk over to the other side and sit down. „I have to ask him„

I reached over to the other side and take one of his hands, he flinches at the touch. "Jay? Will you tell me a little more about what happened?" He avoids eye contact and just stares blankly at the table. "Why do you have scars all over your body...?" His eyes widen and he begins to shake lightly.

"My mother..."

"Your mother did that to you...?" I start to notice his breathing getting uneven again. "Don't rush, we have all the time in the world,"

"An accident happened, my father an- my father died, and I survived," He began to have tears in his eyes. "My mother, she would blame me for it... She began to drink and sleep with all these different guys all the time, always saying that it was my fault and I should have gone with them," He let tears escape his eyes but didn't blink.

I tried to interrupt him, to calm him down but it was like he didn't see, hear or even notice I was still there.

"She would yell at me, screamed that it was all my fault," he seemed to realize that he was acting up, he makes eye contact, his chest going up and down, eyes leaking tears and body now wildly shaking.

"Listen to me Jay, breathe in through your mouth and out your nose okay, yes that's good, just like that," I tighten my grip around his hands, and he starts intertwining our fingers while listening and following my voice.

"Then suddenly... all that stopped, everything stopped... she stopped talking, sleeping, going out, I had to almost force her to step out of her bedroom for more than two minutes to take a bath." He gnawed on his bottom lip. "One month she was like a lifeless shell of a body and the next she would begin screaming and beating me again,"

I could feel something tugging at my chest, I felt sorry and, guilt? "She would use different things to beat me with, so 'it wouldn't leave evidence.' if I went to the police, she could've said that I made them myself,"

"..." I didn't know what to say.

"And then one day, I came home late after a part-time job, there were photographers, reporters, people were everywhere. Sirens, police pushing people back."

My heart tightened.

"She killed herself..." his breathing got caught in his throat, he retreated one of his hands and bit down on his index finger to keep his sobbing quiet.

"How-" I had a lump in my throat, I cleared it. "How old were you?"

"I was in middle school...8th grade"

"Jay..." I wanted to comfort him, to make him feel a little better.

"...Elijah"

"What?"

"My real name... it's Elijah Duncan,"