touching

I met him at church, let's say, I first realized that he existed as far as I can't remember and things at church brought us together even closer. I know I never cared about him at all but feeling sometimes become very obvious to the other people around than we ourselves. I wish that today, I could've chosen my first love because I live to regret it today, but we don't choose feelings, they choose us. I started liking him very much when I got to spend time with him, learning the scriptures together, I was always looking forward to seeing him. At church, it was intense, I was always looking forward to seeing him, and the days he never came was more terrible than hell for me then. rumors started spreading even when I disproved them, but they just won't budge, so I let it be. I liked him, I tried sooo much to conceal the feelings and ended up imaging my life with him in my own world, I was obsessed with him, I wrote soo much about him that I dreamt about him almost everyday, doing things you can't imagine with him. my love for him grew, although he didn't even get close to me, when the rumours started. but I was possessed. He left our district and to another when I found out, I made excuses to find myself over there too. I'm very likable and when I want to, I can fix myself anywhere. I have such a talent the people at that district liked me, then soon they wanted me to stay at their district, but that was when I realized I was being stupid, when I saw him holding hands with a beautiful girl. I was heart broken and felt a huge heavyness in my heart, the decided to throw in the towel. I gave up, childhood broken heart issue ohhh hmmmn I got to know how strong first love was till I thought about him, continuously, just couldn't forget him. I tried to get him number by the help of a friend, but the reply was shocking. so I let it go. there were times I would cry to sleep because I missed him, and loved him soo much. I had no time to think that I needed a makeover, I was very ugly then while growing up. but I still think about him from time to time, while there is a lot on my mind. A new problem, my emmidiate ex also makes me cry continue reading, I'll be giving you sweet info soon