Alpha Varkon’s Human Antidote

ZEPHYRA The ticking of the clock was more distinct than any other noise made in the bar. Over and over, I told myself to pay more attention to Lilith and her run-of-the-mill stories about this guy and that guy. “I looked him in the eye, rejecting his dinner offer.” She had this narrative that every male specimen was into her. “I would have gone on the date with him, but Fenris promised to step up his game this week.” Fenris, Lilith’s fling of the week, and the heir to the MoonCrest Group. Fenris took Lilith out on a date every day in a week, made provisions for her dresses and cleared our rent for the next two years. He was into her that much, and a part of me tried not to be jealous. She always bagged the best men in town. Just last week, Lilith met with the Alpha’s Beta and they hooked up. For a whole week, he sent her flowers and designer dresses and shoes, bags as well. And me? It wasn’t like I didn’t have a boyfriend. It was just… he hardly even remembered that I existed. And of all days to keep up with that, it had to be today. “He’s going to come. I reminded him of myself.” I passed Lilith a soft smile when she patted my shoulder to give it a small, comforting squeeze. It did nothing to rid me of this loneliness. “He hasn’t even called.” Again, I stared down at the screen of my phone, hoping there was a text from him to wish me a happy birthday. It was so little yet too much for Cillian to do. “You know what? We should be drinking and not worrying about silly boyfriends.” Lilith placed orders for tequila shots that came alongside peeled limes and salt on a saucer. I downed three shots in a go with my fingers crossed that words would stop pinballing around my head, unfortunately, it only got worse. Self blame struck me before anything else alongside a crushing weight of regret, bitter disappointment followed by the heel of rage. For five years, I’d kept up with his usual absenteeism, his lack of acknowledgement for me and the said love he professed in college that has now vanished. I was the supposed air he breathed, his missing rib, yet Cillian went three months without having to hear from me. We were still in this, we were barely tolerating each other, ‘cause I was holding it together and holding unto the promises he made five years ago. It was as clear as day that Cillian wasn’t into me as he claimed, so I should have had no reason to keep holding on to pieces of us. To those promises he made years ago, yet I was. And desperately. Every time I braced myself to send that text from my note, somehow I went back to our photo album from our years in college. When he was smitten by the idea of me. A part of me held unto the fact that I could make him love me like he used to. “You made it what it is, Zephyra.” Lilith’s comment made me snap my head to her. Her eyes softened when they met mine, but mine… it was the contrast of hers. How could she blame this on me now? I was the pillar of our relationship and Lilith knew that as much as I did. “How?” My voice was barely a whisper. “Five years and Cillian doesn’t know the colour of any panties you own.” Heat bloomed on my cheeks. “I’m not ready yet.” I whispered. I’d actively ruined every attempt of intimacy with Cillian in all our years together. Not even as little as a kiss. Like an actual kiss. I mean, we’d pecked here and there. “You’re twenty two and not nineteen, Zeph! C’mon, Zeph.” She lightly rubbed my shoulder. “Give it to him already.” She encouraged me, and I shook my head. “He has waited long enough for you, Zeph. It’s not like Cillian wants anyone else. Have you seen him with anyone aside from you?” Lilith inquired and I shook my head. It didn’t make any difference. “So what’s holding you back?” She questioned. I smoothed my hands over my thighs. The reply was at the tip of my tongue, so heavy, yet so sour so I had to gulp them back down. Cillian and I, it was just complicated. And yes, too complicated to take down that road. “Yes, you said you’re waiting until marriage.” Lilith rolled her eyes dramatically and continued when my lips were still sealed despite everything she had said so far. “It’s not the normal s*x you humans have…” More reasons why I was skeptical about this. Cillian and I, were worlds apart. He was a wolf and I, a human. It was unheard of and my love for him could not change any of that. So I’d rather not try it. “It’s an eternal bonding. There’s mating and then marking.” She flipped her hair to the side to show me a hickey. The skin around the spot was purple mixed with red and dotted marks of tooth prints. “Fenris marked me three days ago which is equal to a proposal.” She blabbered while my lips were parted, taking it all in. “Even without a ring, it’s a promise of forever and can’t be broken.” Lilith gestured the bartender to refill our glasses. We had now switched to Hennessy. “So it’s certain that Cillian would marry me?” I finally spoke. My throat went dry as I imagined all the ways the marking would hurt given the fact I’m nothing like them. “Very.” Lilith’s words sounded too good to be true. “It’s going to be a better experience than what you watch in those porn.” The bartender glanced at me on hearing Lilith’s statement. I threw my gaze to the foot of my heels as my cheeks bloomed pink while I considered it. “I’m not sure I can do that.” I shook my head. “It’s going to make Cillian love you, again. A lot more than when in college.” I felt my eyes sparkle with a thrill of anticipation as a euphoria sizzled through me. “Really?” My lips were ajar, waiting on her reply that came with a gentle nod while she downed her drink. “I’ll do it, then. Tonight.”