Chapter 1
Red's POV
Today when I woke up I felt it, as dread and sorrow washed over me and it grabbed me by the throat , sucking out every last breath in my lungs, squeezing the soul from my body. Nothing will ever be the same again because today everything changes. It was supposed to be a beautiful day, I’m turning eighteen and I’ll be able to find my mate but instead we put my mother in the ground.
She had an aneurysm in the brain and once it burst there was nothing that could be done to save her.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Another member of the pack said as they walked back to mingle amongst the crowd of people that’s gathered at the palace. I haven’t spoken to anyone that’s tried to console me. I just stare into nothingness. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now or how to feel. I feel hollow and empty like my mother Grace took me with her when she died.
“Red,” My father Alpha King Jasper said to me as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder but I nudged it off and stood up from the chair I was sitting at and walked without a word to the pool. I kicked off my heels that were not only murdering my poor feet but my calves as well. The water was cool and felt good against my feet as I sat on the ledge of the pool dipping my toes in.
“Red, are you okay? You haven’t said a word during the funeral,”
Funeral I hate that word “Funeral “
Skyler is my best friend and she means well and I can hear the concern in her voice but she doesn’t get it. She's never lost a parent and she doesn’t know how it feels to feel empty.
She sighs when I don’t say anything and continue to stare into the water that I wish I was sinking deep into.
“I’ll just sit with you then,” She finally says as she dips her feet into the water.
I’ve been told every second for two days now “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I’m sorry to hear that” or “how’s your father doing since your mothers passing” like I would know how he's doing today is the first day he’s spoken to me since my mother died.
Through my peripheral vision I caught a glimpse of someone that sat to my left. Lennox.
“Red,” His voice was smooth with just the right amount of roughness. It’s the voice that haunts my dreams even though I know it shouldn’t and we rarely talk at all but it’s him and I glance in his direction and not only because I’ve been secretly in love with him forever but the way my name sounds as he says it draws me in.
“He’s worried about you,” And who he meant by “He” is my father but my father is the furthest thing from my mind right now as my eyes leaves the water and onto him. He’s still wearing his black suit pants and his white button down shirt but the jacket is gone now and the sleeves are rolled up his arm. My eyes trail over his body making sure not miss the muscles that’s barely being contained behind the material of his clothes. The stubble line starts just a bit of ways on his neck hugging his jawline with those perfect features of his.
Holy f*****g s**t this man so damn sexy he could be a god.
When my eyes finally met his I saw it snapping back to reality. His jaw was set and the muscle tics and he takes his eyes off mine and stares into the water and his brown locks fall into his face. Goddess how I wish I was that one strand of hair.
I shake that thought now’s not the time to be thinking like this. I shouldn't be thinking about him at all. He's not just anyone, he's Lennox Bolton, my fathers best friend and first in command.
“He doesn’t need to worry. I’m fine,” lie. I’m not fine. I was far from fine. I turned eighteen and now I’m able to find my mate. I was looking forward to that and when I found him, my mom had planned this night for me and Skyler to chill and talk about mates but now she’s gone.
As much as I hate being consoled, Lennox hasn’t tried to console me once. He hasn’t even hugged me and I thought with all this happening I would get to wrap my arms around him but I was wrong he never touches me at all.
“If you say so,” He said standing straight from his crouched down position. He started to walk away and before I realized it I was on my feet facing his back as he walked away.
“Why haven’t you hugged me? Or tell me how sorry you are about me losing my mom,” I did it then I let the tears that I’ve been holding on for two days go. Lennox turned to face me and when he saw the tears running down my face instead of hugging me he clenched his jaw like he was mad that I was crying.
“I’m sorry about your mother,”
“But you won’t hug me,” He never replied he just shook his head “No”
I fist my palms at my side, my lips part and the muscle in his jaw tics again. He doesn’t say anything else, he just turns and walks back into the house.
“Still crushing on my brother huh?” Skyler said when I sat back down by the pool.
“Lennox is never going to give in so why not just move on Red, besides he’s like twenty years older than you,” Sky the math genius reminds me. I know how much older he is than me. I'm well aware of the age gap but unlike her I don’t care, age is just a number.
