Ever Cynical

Chapter 12- Not So Alone After All

Anais POV

You could have knocked me over with a feather. There was an "us"? And I don't mean in a romantic sense, I mean, I'm not the only indestructible, well, werewolf? How is it possible that I did not learn any of this in my travels and studies? Unless... it was deliberately hidden? Or perhaps because I was unaware I was a wolf? My mind was reeling. Kieran smiled at me.

"Yeah, you're an Immortal werewolf. We are not as plentiful as we once were, only about five hundred or so total in existence." He sounded a little sad. I sensed a story there of his own. No, the story of our people, a story that was equally relevant to me.

"So, you're an Immortal too?" I asked. He nodded, grinning even wider. "What about the others here? Are they all Immortals or it's a blended pack?" I was suddenly thrilled that right here could be my people, people that could accept me and offer me a place of permanence, even if the idea was a little scary, too.

Again, my fear of being emotionally hurt reared its ugly head.

"We are all Immortals." My jaw dropped. He came around the desk to stand next to me, apparently thinking I was going to pass out or something. "Are you alright?" He said as he grasped my upper arms. I'd heard of tingles and sparks from the mate bond, but when I felt them, Claire squealed in delight, and Kieran grinned. "You can feel them, can't you? Finally!" He huffed out. Ohhhhhh. He'd felt it when I shook his hand. That was why he'd acted so awkward at first. What a massive misunderstanding!

Wow. I could read his happiness and excitement, the tension I'd been sensing since we met was gone. "We can talk about mate stuff later, okay? Probably have to wait to accept and all that until you've shifted anyways," he continued. He stopped and looked at me cautiously, the joy becoming nervous energy. I giggled. "You are... going to accept me, right?" He swallowed thickly as he waited for my response, closing his eyes as he waited. I'd never seen such hesitation from an alpha in my life.

To be fair, I hadn't spent much time with wolves personally in a few centuries, so my measure could be off. Conference calls and such, but I'd avoided pack lands quite a bit. If I'd realized this was a pack sooner, I may not have come at all. I was glad I'd ignored the obvious in this case, because it meant I'd finally found my home.

"Alpha Kieran." I said, as I looked into his jewel-like eyes. He truly looked like he might cry. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm not going anywhere. What you have just told me, while important and definitely a factor in your favor, changes nothing. Here is where I want to be. It might just be the bond." To which he growled. "Come on, Kieran, it's not realistic to put your full faith in feelings that are not even a week old and I know you get that." His head dropped to my shoulder. "Buuuut..." His head snapped up and he looked at me with probably more than a little hope. "Yeah, I plan to accept you." His arms slid around my waist and he held me snugly to him.

Goddess he smelled divine.

Of course he does, ma cherie, he's our mate. Made for us, even his scent, Claire purred, pleased. She liked that our mate was sensitive and not a cold asshole. I was pleased as well, I was just having trouble reconciling everything I'd ever heard about alphas and the man currently clinging to me like a vine.

"Thank you, go raibh maith agat, Anais." Oh no. He was actually crying. I could feel his hot tears dropping on my shoulder where he'd buried his face and was breathing deeply. Right, my scent. I looked over to the others still standing there, looking uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable too, but this was my mate, and I knew it was my job to accept it, just like he'd accepted me.

"Is he always this... emotional?" I asked. I felt him nod into my neck, while they all shook their heads no. A giggle bubbled up, and I bit my lip to hold it back. After a few minutes, Kieran had calmed himself enough to stand again. He cleared his throat, avoiding everyone's eyes.

"So, I don't think I should have to tell you all that this... outburst stays between us, right?" He was so cute when he was awkward. This time, even I nodded with the others. I can appreciate a man that is in touch with his emotions in private. Publicly was another matter, could be quite emasculating, I'm sure. He had an image to present to the world or others might view the pack as a target. "Alright, so now that we have that item sorted, let's talk about what you already know. It sounds like a lot has happened, so highlights would be good for now, since you've lived longer than any of us."

"Yeah you know me, I'm a cougar." I made a claw with my hand and made a whispery rawr. They all paused, unsure what I meant. I rolled my eyes. "You know, an older woman that likes younger men?" They all started... coughing? Laughing? Not sure, but I just had to throw in a joke, All this heavy s**t is just that... heavy. "I'm tough, I can take it, you can toss age jokes at me all you want." They looked startled and unsure. "But just know I'll take it out on you later in training. I may have lived as a human but I'm pretty capable."

"Luna... We can't." Lugh whispered. I raised brow.

"Why not? It's just sparring anyways." I said, lifting a shoulder, and Kieran cleared his throat.

"They are unmated males and if they lay hands on you in any way I will beat their asses." He said proudly. Ugh. Males egos. I rolled my eyes.

"Look, Kieran, and this is really important to me, so make sure to turn off the caveman part of your brain and truly listen." He frowned but nodded. Thank the gods he was a reasonable man... wolf... mate, whatever. "Do not restrict me in any way from being the independent woman, well, wolf, I've always been. I've been alone since I was ten years old and dissidents murdered my entire family in Caen, France. For me, that's nine hundred fourteen years. I've survived, though I can't say I thrived. I want to thrive here. Step one to that is you not going all alpha on me or OUR team, got it?" He stared at me and swallowed hard. I knew I was intimidating even without my wolf fully out.

"Okay, Anais, I will try. You have to understand, it's mine and Ri'dubh's instinct to care for and protect you. If the situation is dire, I may not be able to hold him back." He was speaking in a diplomatic and calm tone. Who would have thought I'd get the most reasonable alpha alive as a mate. Thank you, moon goddess, I said in my mind.

"I get that, that's fine, although if you put yourself in danger I might have to kill you once just to show you not to freak me the f**k out. I highly doubt sparring with the Beta is going to put me at actual risk." He giggled in disbelief.

"Kill me?" He said, smirking like he didn't think such a thing was possible.

"You know, dismember and wait for regeneration." I said casually. He stared at me. "What? You can't tell me if you were bound you wouldn't remove an arm to get loose knowing within minutes it would be back?" They were all silently staring at me again, with great seriousness, all levity now gone. "What?!" I burst out.

"Has this... actually happened to you or is this your humor again?" Sean tentatively put out while Kieran seemed to be having some kind of internal struggle, his eyes flashing between himself and his wolf.

"Oh. Right. Before I answer, maybe I need ask how old you guys are?" I asked. I knew I was older, but the question was going to be by how much, because medieval Europe had been anything but a picnic. Especially for females. Being educated was often seen as an offense to the status quo. Even blasphemous. Because everyone knows God hates women in control of their minds and destinies, right? It's not a woman's job to think, no. That's what the men were for, right? Right. Hah!

"Uh, we were all born on a wagon train on the Oregon Trail while our families moved out here from Massachusetts." Geoff offered. Okay, so they knew what it was like before most modern conveniences, but not the old world itself. Most likely, the pack had old money they'd held onto before moving to the Americas, allowing them to live in what could be considered relative luxury. Not by modern standards, obviously, but it meant that they didn't struggle as much as the general populace. I was glad, actually.

I didn't want my boys to have experienced the same s**t I did. Nobody should, nobody deserved it.

Well, maybe a few choice individuals, but then again, they had been the perpetrators, so it would be karma. I was not big on fighting people unless I had to, I guess, but those people, any of them, I'd gladly give payback. Not just for me, but for all the atrocities I'd witnessed. I had been the lucky one that could tolerate and survive all their bullshit.

"So you're roughly one hundred seventy-five or so." They nodded. Kieran was still unable to respond, but I knew he was listening. "Okay, well. I was born in medieval times, as we've established. I've traveled many places, and seen a lot, experienced a lot. My first death, as I call each time I should have died but lived anyway, was in the fire that killed the rest of my family. Over the years, I've been stoned, stabbed, shot, tortured, blown up, even drawn and quartered. I learned early with certain things, you had to fake death and hope they didn't check later. As time passed, a few caught me and realized I could not be killed and did... experiments. Thankfully, I've never experienced any form of s****l torture or abuse because most of my captors were afraid of me."

An earth-shattering growl tore through the room and rattled the windows.

Kieran was standing, his wolf on the surface, claws out, breathing hard. His gold eyes searched mine before he took a deep breath.