Ever Cynical

Anais POV I rolled onto my side, facing the dingy wall as neon lights from the cheap motel sign outside flickered creepily on it. Too bad the curtain was completely useless. It was always so hard to sleep, but it didn’t hurt to try. I sighed heavily. Every time I thought I couldn't possibly get more tired, a new day rolled around and there it was. More weariness I could feel down to my soul. It was possible that fancier digs would improve my mood and outlook, but modern technology being what it was, shitty motels in obscure locations were one of the most effective ways to hide from... well, the world. Not saying that I hated technology, it was how I made my money, and I knew quite well how to manipulate it. I just could not even remember what it meant to be happy, relaxed, or even content. I don’t actually think it has ever happened. I had an eidetic memory so the likelihood that I truly forgot anything was slim to none. I sighed. Frankly, I was shocked anywhere that had a distinct urine odor like this place could get away with charging $90 a night, but I wasn’t in the mood to negotiate or fight with anyone. The mini fridge didn’t work, and the bathroom wall had clearly borne the brunt of someone’s unpleasant temper. There was even a sign on the door warning you to verify who was at your door before you opened it, for your own safety. Is this area really that bad? Seriously, there was no way I was sleeping with the sign flickering- I could even hear the weird zappy noise it made, which, had it been rhythmic, maybe I could have ignored it, but it was totally startling and erratic. Most likely other people could ignore it, but not me. I sat up, tossing the covers aside, and walked over to the battered desk containing my laptop. I swear these places all have the same brown-orange-mustard color schemes and peeling fake wood panels. Although, I doubt these places were busy enough to afford a makeover, either. I flipped open my laptop and powered it up. Maybe I’d get lucky and there would be some new project waiting for me. I was one of those IT security gurus companies call to test their systems and offer recommendations. I had my own programs I’d authored, but I typically only offered those to companies that I felt deserved it. If I found nasty skeletons during my back hack, they were on their own. I rubbed my face and opened a room-temperature bottled vanilla latte, the bottle sweaty with condensation. I’d make sure the fridge worked next time, at least. Maybe I’d manage to catch a little sleep somewhere and have the energy to demand more for my money. I liked my coffee either you know, hot-hot or cold-cold. That’s not being picky, right? I saw a new email and clicked on it, hoping it would at least distract me long enough that I could forget I’d had about six hours of sleep in the last four days. The email was from someone wanting to add a full cybersecurity system, along with a full internet and computer update, including cameras, for a large private community. I could do it, I supposed, though normally physical installations were something I avoided. I was intrigued by the idea of an off-grid place where I could probably lay low until the installation was done, and maybe finally get some real sleep. You might be thinking, why doesn’t she just go off-grid and live that way to stay hidden? I could, I really could. It’s just hard to be away from everything for so damn long. I lived vicariously by watching other people interact. Creepy, I know, but I'm f*****g lonely as hell. I was currently in Montana, and the requestor was in Washington State. It would only take me a day or so to get there driving, and I was so done with this crap-tastic motel. I tapped my finger on the table. If it was a community, I wondered how closed off they actually were? I searched the location and literally found nothing but a large private property. Like a few hundred acres large. There was a part of me that wondered if it was possible to stay in a place like that, if it was a community. At least for a while before I was forced to move on somewhere else. Only one way to find out. I tabulated the equipment needed based on the request and put together an estimate as well as advising that I would need at a minimum one month to put everything in proper order. I was banking on the assumption that this guy was tech backwards enough to not know a month was way more time than a pro like me could ever need. Despite the fact that it was four am where I was, and maybe two or three am where this Kieran Blake was- the requestor- I got an immediate response. He was fine with the estimate, and fine with me staying at the community. He literally said “take as much time as you need.” Oh boy, would I ever! Kieran POV I rushed out a heavy breath of relief. I was glad that this A. Allard had gotten back to me so quickly. We had manually maintained security in our private community for so long, and it had worked, but I felt strongly that we could not continue to partition ourselves from technology. Everything was still handwritten and tracked, and the amount of time we could save was immense. Not to mention, our business associates were becoming more and more vocal that we needed electronic systems in order to process orders with people from the outside. We owned a small factory that produced natural wood furniture, all wood from our own land. We also had a self-sufficient sheep farm that produced wool for our hand-loomed blankets and sweaters. Both workshop housing our craftsman were on-pack, but the warehouses and most of the marketing and transport was done by people not part of our community, so regular communication would be vastly improved by newer technology, especially since they were all hours away from us. As much as we tried to be fully off grid, there was a limit. Wells took care of water, and solar panels gave us power, but I could feel the impatience when the younger people returned from their visits outside with how... behind... we were. No, I am not a cult leader. We were simply a minority community that wanted to prevent problems by leading a very private existence. I was a little surprised that Allard wanted to stay on the property for a month or more, but it wasn’t that big of a deal, I hoped... I had no idea if Allard was a man or a woman, but I was assuming and hoping it was a man. It would make things easier. I was just not good at talking to women. Room full of men and I had no problems. With females, I was just plain awkward. I exited my office and oddly, my mother was right outside with her hand raised to knock. I lifted an eyebrow. “Did you need something Mom? It’s...” I looked at my wristwatch (yes I actually use mine). “Three AM. Everything ok?” She shifted from foot to foot. “I just have this strange feeling, Kieran.” She looked at me with worried eyes. The thing was, with her there was always a feeling. What the feeling meant, if it was good, bad, or indigestion, nobody knew until after the fact. About sixty percent of the time, her feeling meant something. But I would have no idea if it was catastrophic or minor until I was knee-deep in the situation. I sighed. “Look Mom, I know you get these feelings and don’t know much else, but I’ve got preparations to make. If you get anything more, like if it’s good, or bad, let me know, but for now, I’ve got about a day to get everything ready for a visitor.” I said wearily. Allard indicated they’d be on their way and arriving in a day or two after stopping off to pick up their order on the way. There were certain things I needed everyone to be aware of before they arrived. “Visitor?” She clutched my arm. “Yeah, I finally found a highly recommended security specialist to set us up with updated security and technology systems.” I patted her hand, hoping she’d let me get off to sleep, so I could get everything ready early in the morning. “But why are we changing anything? Your father said it was fine how it was.” She always defended old practices, most likely because she was constantly worried about the pitfalls of modernization. You know, more impersonal, less connected with people, all that. She definitely had not complained when I modernized our massive communal kitchen, though. “Dad handed everything over to me, and it’s my decision. We can’t keep doing business with archaic practices.” I was beginning to get irritated. I loved her, I did, but some of her habits were grating. When Dad handed the community organization and business to me, he no longer had any say, unless I was causing harm, and he needed to take it back. Nothing like that was happening. “Look Mom, I love you, I need to sleep. We can talk more later.” My tone was firm, and she knew the conversation was over. She kissed my cheek reluctantly and let me go. The next day, I had my team set up a room for our visitor in the main house. The majority of the installations would be in the main house anyway, and I would be close to monitor how things went. I had a brief conversation with everyone in the community about our visitor; set expectations for where they would be, what they would be doing, and to make them feel welcome. I could tell the older people were disgruntled, but the young people were excited that we might finally get some long-needed updates. Our cell phones were about as good as we got, and on our land reception could be a little iffy. Texts seemed to be fine for the most part, but I was hoping the equipment Allard was bringing could extend that coverage. My phone pinged with a message and I saw that it was Allard. They said they would be arriving around noon the next day, and I felt oddly excited. I felt really fortunate to have gotten this contract in between the major jobs in cybersecurity I knew Allard was in high demand for. Allard didn’t have a social media presence at all, and the recommendations were one hundred percent word of mouth. You don’t get that successful without considerable skill. The air was charged in anticipation, but my mom was still buzzing with worry. I sighed, determined to focus on the future, come what may.