Ever Cynical

Chapter 31- Getting to Know Claire Better

Anais POV

I awoke feeling pretty damn sore, but blissfully happy.

And ravenously starving.

I felt like my stomach was sucking backwards. I could feel Kieran tucked up behind me in his usual spot, fast asleep. Is it weird that his snores comfort me? Was his arm always this heavy? Was my body always this heavy? Weird. I managed to slide away from his hold and padded over to the fridge, still stark naked. The clock on the microwave shows four AM. Wow. The last thing I remember was what must have been the best orgasm in the history of the world. I kid you not. It may have technically been my first time, but damn.

Kieran certainly did not disappoint.

Anyway, the sandwich fixings were calling my name loud and clear, so I eagerly threw together my favorite ham and swiss with spicy dijon mustard. Not gonna lie, I ate two, and contemplated eating a third. As I searched for a bottled water, and maybe something sweet, I felt Kieran behind me, stroking my back just above my bum. When I started to stand, he held me in place.

"No this is nice, mo chridhe. Great view. I could just kick your legs apart a little and-" He huskily chuckled as I spun around to face him, squeezing my thighs together. "Where's my sandwich, go hálainn?" He was smirking, looking pretty damned pleased with himself.

Alphas. Hmmph!

"Coming right up, mon coeur. Once you sit your ass down on the other side of the counter so I know I'm safe for the moment." I huffed at him, pushing him away impatiently. I needed to recover just a little before he waved his magic wand anywhere near me. He giggled. Dammitttttt. I gushed. Againnn. He waggled his brows when I looked at him. "Can you please not do that while we are eating right now? My legs still feel like f*****g jelly."

"So you've f****d jelly? Is that why there was no... uh, barrier?" He laughed, teasing me, obviously. I rolled my eyes and made his sandwich. I knew he wasn't at all serious, but the feminist in me roared as I slammed things around. He just lifted a brow and continued to smirk. Would he still be smirking if I smeared mayonnaise across his cheek, hmm?

"I swear, men don't bother to learn about female anatomy at all other than what holes they can stick their c**k into." I harrumphed. He raised his other brow at me. "You really want to know how I broke my hymen?" I pushed his sandwich to him across the breakfast bar. He took a massive mouthful before answering my question. Guess we were both ravenous.

Ha! Indeed. So ravenous for each other we'd practically neglected even our basic needs like eating and drinking.

"You remember it? I was under the impression most girls don't actually know when it happens. The whole virginity pain thing tends to be more the fact that the girl simply isn't ready for s*x, whether that be due to maturity or you know, proper foreplay to get everything prepped." He quipped. "Last night you were deliciously ready. Absolutely soaked." He was practically preening like a f*****g peacock.

He's lucky it's cute on him. He wasn't normally arrogant at all, so I decided I would allow it this time.

"Wow, you actually do know how it works. Yeah, I remember." I laughed. "I was eleven. At that point, I was sneaking food and hiding out to survive, and I had climbed a tree. Usually I was relatively undisturbed if I was up in a tree. Apparently, I stretched a little too far during my climb. Thought I was dying, which was weird after having survived being burned alive, you know?" He almost choked on his ham sandwich. Poor baby.

"How can you speak so casually about what happened?" He asked. I'm sure for him, it was somewhat disturbing. I'd just been through so much for so long I was kinda numb to it. I didn't think of it like, wow, poor me, I really went through the s**t and my life sucked. It was more like, oh yeah, that happened, and I learned xyz from it. It was just information and facts.

"Well, it was like nine hundred years ago. You gain a certain level of pragmatism about death when you live as long as I have." I shrugged one shoulder. I can't explain it any other way.

Kieran didn't look like he thought that was really an acceptable answer.

Kieran POV

I would never, ever get over how easily she spoke of death, dying, and things like dismemberment. It made me want to seek vengeance. With a limited list of eligible candidates for said vengeance, it was hard to hold it back. Ludolf and his pack of mongrels were high on the list along with Donato, but they hadn't actually done anything to her physically. No, there were others that I was sure were still out there, likely Dark Witches. I reached out and stroked her hair gently.

It was really important to me that she take her own safety more seriously. Even if she was strong, tough, and powerful, she still needed to have more care for her body and her emotions. To do that, she needed people to trust. I was getting there, but even I knew there was more. She had to let go. Let herself be emotionally available and vulnerable. This stiff upper lip she displayed was a cover, I was sure of it.

We could not move forward and grow together till all this s**t was dealt with, and I needed her perspective slightly realigned in order to be able to trust her to keep herself safe too. I already knew she would easily sacrifice herself if she thought it was the right option, and I just could not have that. Not ever.

"I don't want you to feel like it's normal, mo chridhe. You shouldn't have to be okay with brutality. If I'm totally honest, it kinda makes me want to destroy things. And that's not how I usually do things." I sighed. She smiled at me with tears forming in her eyes.

"Thank you, mon coeur." She said, and I tilted my head to the side. Not what I thought she was going to say, but okay. She took a deep breath. "What I mean is, I appreciate that you care enough to be concerned, or to want to seek vengeance on my behalf. It's not necessary at this point. I'm okay, really. But you and me together will hunt down anyone that hurts our family or allies going forward, okay? I was fine if it was just me, but everything has changed." She announced. As she spoke, her alpha aura began to roll off her in waves, full of unmistakable authority. Shockingly, my wolf, now rousing himself, wanted to submit to her aura, and he had never submitted, even to the alpha king.

"Mo shíorghrá , you are releasing your alpha aura. And as much as Ri'dubh doesn't seem to mind being your b***h, I need you to roll that back, if you can." My wolf snarled, but since he knew I was right, said nothing to defend himself. Every good king bows to his queen, after all. I wasn't judging him, not at all. I'd submit to whatever Anais wanted, really. Except sacrificing herself. No deal on that. Ri'dubh huffed his agreement on that thought.

Glad you're finally awake buddy. We need to have a chat later, I said to him.

Not if you're going to call me a b***h we're not, he sniffed, flopping back down in my mind. Grumpy.

"Aura? Hang on, sorry. Um. I'm new to this." She was very flustered, but after a minute got her aura under wraps again. "Well, crash course in auras, I guess. Gosh." She grinned. I smiled back, trying to think what else she might accidentally run into.

"Okay, so let's do a rundown of wolfen things. You're got shifting and aura ticked off the list. Enhanced senses are just kind of there, you don't exactly have control of them. Alpha, well, Luna commands would be one." She looked at the floor blushing. "You've done that?"

"Yeah, when the envoy was coming here Helga wanted to defend me. Her wolf is dormant, I mean, she'd just have been hurt and dragged away! With Sean being her mate- it was such a risk! So I tried out my Luna command and made her hide. She was pretty upset with me, but I knew I could stealth. That piece of s**t never would have found me." She announced proudly.

"How long have you been able to stealth?" I asked curiously. I had a feeling it was unique to her wolf.

"Gosh, at least four hundred and fifty years." She waggled her brows. "How do you think I was able to successfully evade the fugly kings till now?" A giggle broke out of me at her new name for them. She shot me a dirty glare. Oh, right. My giggle makes her gush. I grinned.

"Back to the subject at hand, as much as I want to see exactly how much my giggle turns you on, both of us need to know where you are at as a wolf. Check with Claire, but I'm certain that stealth is one of her abilities." She was silent a moment, linking her wolf, then nodded. "Okay. We already know about your recovery, and that thank the goddess, you are immune to silver completely. It's such a relief. Wait. If you're immune, how were you able to remove, you know, your own arms?" I cringed. I hated this but it had to be asked.

"Oh. Moon blades." She said, shrugging, as if the answer was obvious.

"Moon blades?" I questioned.

"Yeah, if my circumstances are dire. They're kind of like, made of moonlight? Probably something Selene sends me. They only last for a few minutes before they disappear. The first few times I wasn't fast enough, and I had to wait for them to reappear. I don't know what triggers them, to be honest. I just know when they appear I have to use them quick, and nobody else can see them, as far as I know." She explained. How brutal, Selene! Instead of magically removing her bonds, she forces Anais to hurt herself to get free?

"I wonder if that is why they have been so desperate to find you." I said thoughtfully, tapping my chin as I stared at the crumbs where my delicious sandwich had once been. So sad. Maybe I should have had larger prepared meals waiting for us. As tasty as the sandwich had been, it was not doing all that much to make me feel less famished.

"What do you mean?" She tilted her head.

"You are the only one that can hurt an Immortal without an elaborate and near impossible ceremony." I intoned solemnly. This was a huge problem. Bigger than I thought. Her eyes went wide. "We need to ask Selene about the blades."

No need, I know about them, Claire announced in our heads.