Ever Cynical

Chapter 6- Sensitive Subjects

Kieran POV

“Huntress?” She questioned. I gestured towards her feet. She smirked. “Don’t worry Kieran, no live bunnies were harmed in the production of my footwear.” We all busted out laughing again. Have you ever had those moments where you swear you’ve inhaled laughing gas and something that really wasn’t that funny just set you off? Yeah, that was us. “Although... I’m pretty good with a knife.” She said sharply, looking me up and down. Our laughter ended a bit abruptly after that. We all knew instinctively that human or not, she was probably entirely serious. As she sat, she continued speaking. “Speaking of which, do you guys happen to have a gym with a sparring area, maybe a climbing wall, or best of all an obstacle course?”

“Are you training for Ninja Warrior or something?” I smirked, wondering what else a human could possibly need it for. She sighed.

“No, I just have a routine, and I’d rather not go into town every other day to keep it up.” Yeah, that was a crap ton of driving. I would not want to do it either. Driving makes you weirdly tired. I've long sworn it's hypnotic. To be fair, long-distance transports by horse had been worse, but it still lulled you into this in-between state of consciousness if you weren't driving. Sometimes, even then.

“Do you travel a lot?” I asked her. I know we talked generally about a lot of things, but there was still so much more to know. She cleared her throat as she took a bite of fennel-sausage bow-tie pasta with mushrooms. It had Helga’s scrumptious homemade garlic cream sauce. She chewed as she thought about her response.

“I travel all the time for work.” She took a sip of the Riesling she’d requested, before taking a delicate bite of garlic Texas toast. She was clearly enjoying Helga’s delicious flavor combination. I could senes her hesitation to answer questions of a personal nature. It brought me back to the way she seemed to be either hiding or running away. Her evasiveness, how tired she was... There was something behind it that wasn't just work.

“So, where’s your home base then? Do you live on the West Coast?” I wanted to know what kind of distance I was battling in trying to get her to stay. I was hoping that her base of operations was more local, since it would be easier to... well... woo her? Goddess I was so awkward and lame with this s**t. The plates on her SUV were Washington, at least.

“Well, actually, I don’t.” I stamped down my irritation in trying to get an answer out of her. She was being entirely too cryptic for my alpha sensibilities. My wolf was pacing lightly, wanting to know the answers as well.

“Don’t what?” I could feel my team listening in as I asked her.

“I don’t have a... home base, as you call it. I’m pretty much a nomad.” She took another bite of pasta and moaned in delight.

That moan made my body come alive in ways I was not ready to deal with just yet. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably and Geoff raised his eyebrow. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Nothing like your Beta noticing something so simple giving you wood.

Ugh.

“So, when you are finished with this project, where would you be going?” Geoff asked. I shot him a sharp glare. Now was not the time to ask such an important question, not when she could easily say yet another thing that sounded like rejection. I doubt I could hold my wolf back if she did. He shot one right back at me. I guess it was important for all of them too, since she was technically their Luna. Until things were solid between us, it was not likely that everyone could feel settled.

“Actually...” She drifted off, looking at me. I cleared my throat, suddenly extremely nervous.

“We can all talk about that later, I mean, leave a little mystery Geoff.” I rushed out as I picked up my own Riesling and gulped it down, not that wine affected us much, but with a human here we were all acting the part. She hesitated, looking like she wanted to say more. I tried to act nonchalant, lifting a shoulder as my eyes met hers.“Don’t worry, let’s enjoy Helga’s delicious food. It’s been a long day. I know you are pretty tired.” My statement effectively ended the conversation as we all ate in relative silence.

I got the feeling that Anais was upset, but I wasn’t sure why. She ate quickly, having said nothing else, and excused herself.

“Kieran, you should have let her say what she wanted. Maybe it could have helped you out, you know?” Lugh said, sighing.

“He’s just afraid she’s going to accidentally say something that sounds like rejection again.” Sean groaned. “I get it bro, but you gotta toughen up if you’re going to win her over. Right Lugh? Your Gamma senses are tingling right?” Lugh rolled his eyes but nodded.

“Listen Kier, I know you are worried but the best way we can make progress is to get her to open up. You cut her off like that again she’s not even going to bother trying to let you in.” Geoff’s words resonated. He was right. I didn’t know why it was so hard to be bold and put myself out there in this situation.

I was an alpha, wasn't I?

It should not be this scary to win over my Luna!

Anais POV

I don’t really get why I’m pissed. So what if he didn’t want to continue the conversation? It was the first time since I was a small child that I felt immature. I know he wasn’t trying to be rude, but it almost felt like a rejection of sorts. Why on earth, when I met him yesterday, was I already so invested? I was never invested.

Life had taught me harshly that caring was dangerous. Yeah, I was considering dipping my toes into romance with the gorgeous Kieran, but I was going into it knowing it was limited. It should not hurt this much already. We weren’t even a thing yet. Colleagues at best. I sighed as I paced my room, trying to release this weird sense of restlessness I felt.

I stripped down to nothing and went into my mini onsen, hoping another steamy bath was going to be enough to soothe my frazzled nerves. My hair wasn’t dirty, so I piled it on top of my head and stuck my favorite pair of hair sticks savagely into it. They were an authentic pair I’d carried since my travels to the Orient. Not that it was called that, anymore. I’d set my playlist to a soothing traditional music one from Japan. It really was a great place that I’d been to many times.

As I let the hot water, lavender and sage oil I'd added to it, and simple music soothe me, I allowed my mind to drift backwards.

914 years ago

I was paralyzed in fear as I huddled with my family inside our burning Romanesque home. You wouldn't think stone would burn so well, but I guess with the amount of wood that accompanied it, anything was possible. The innumerable tapestries used to keep the temperature moderate also added fuel to the fire's hungry belly. I had questioned my father why we were running to the middle of our house and not outside, but I genuinely think he just panicked completely.

We wore heavy velvet clothing with far too much fabric, and all too soon the fire licked at our hems. We had nowhere to go.

The screams of my parents and two little sisters were piercing and full of pain until they lost consciousness from the smoke. Their terrified accusations of witchcraft when they saw that I was not being harmed by the fire had hurt almost as badly as their loss. I held their charred remains and cried for hours. It had been just after supper time that the fire broke out and nobody, not even our servants, came to our aid. It was then that I realized we had been targeted. My family was Catholic, and with the controversy surrounding the Holy Roman Empire and its attempts to control Europe, it was dangerous to be Catholic and wealthy in an area that was primarily protestant.

I was in the same place in the freezing morning air when I heard people coming to verify our status. Traitors!

I had always been smart for my age, and my father had been more forward-thinking than most men would be for centuries afterward, allowing me an education under his own tutelage. It was sad that his last thoughts had been that I was evil. I had no idea how or why I'd survived, but I was not going to waste what I was given. As I stealthily made my way into the woods, my desperate bid for survival began.

Present Day

I let out a weary sigh. I hadn't allowed myself to think of that day for so long. I called it my Re-Birthday, because it was then that I'd realized I was different. I could not die, at least, not by any means that I had yet experienced. To be fair, I could not claim an illness would not kill me, because I'd actually have to be sick first for that to be tested. I'd been impervious to every illness I'd been exposed to, even the Black Death. Every once in a while, when I just really felt that I had been alive far too long, I'd venture into places with known deadly illnesses in the hope that nature would finally do its job. I know living this long is not natural.

I sniffled as tears rolled down my face and I hugged my knees, leaning my cheek on them. I was so very tired and alone.

In my vast travels, I'd also had yet to meet another of my kind. I'd met other supernaturals, of course. A few had tried to kill me and been quite disappointed that I lived. Some had tried to trap me, torture me, and all kinds of creative things nefarious beings do. The thing is, when you know your arm can regenerate, no need to keep it attached if it's tied up, right? Not like I never took the time to learn how to fight, either. A girl alone must learn many things to keep herself safe.

There's a reason they call certain types of assault a fate worse than death, and I'd made certain the aggressor always died before I let that happen.