Ever Cynical

Chapter 35🌶️- Potentially Upsetting News

Kieran POV

I could tell that she needed this... massive expulsion of tears. Did I like it? Nope, but if she had to cry, I was more than happy to hold her through it. It had taken a lot for her to let me have control. I'd known that, but it had been her that suggested it, and her that wanted it. It told me that I was irreplaceable to her. That made me proud, but I won't lie and say it was easy to sit through her tears as she let everything go. It reminded me of that therapy where people go and scream in the woods. Her whole body reeled in waves. After about two hours of her sobbing, me holding her, and Glow Up playing on the TV in the background, she finally started to breathe half normally, only hiccuping here and there.

For a moment, I had the thought that her crying face was cute and immediately felt bad. I didn't want to see her cry, no, but I did enjoy her letting go of her emotions and being vulnerable in front of me. It was so very important to our bond. Not to mention, with pups on the way, we were going to have to set an example. An example of how to deal with things. What my mate had lived by so far was not going to cut it as a mother.

She probably knew that, but it didn't mean that she was equipped to handle it, either.

"Will you be okay if I make some breakfast, mo chridhe?" I asked her with some urgency. It was about eleven AM at this point. She nodded. "By the way." Her sky-blue eyes looked into mine. "I love it when you call me Kier." I kissed her forehead and bustled to the kitchen. I found eggs, ham, and some pre-shredded potatoes. I made over easy eggs with ham slices and hashbrowns. I was not Helga, that's for sure, but it certainly smelled good to our nearly empty stomachs. We'd had a sandwich... or two... in the middle of the night, but beyond that it had been lunch the prior day that we'd really eaten last. Anais wandered over, clearly led by her nose, and settled on the bar stool. I cheerfully set her plate down before serving myself. "Did you need more coffee, go hálainn, or did you want some juice?"

"Ah, I still have coffee, Kier, merci." She kissed my cheek as I sat next to her. "Goddess I'm starving!" She took a bite, chewing delightedly. "Oh, by the way. You can call me Ana." She said, blushing delicately.

"Ana... I like it. It's very feminine. It reminds me of your Luna dress for some reason." I mused. I didn't mind that she dressed for function normally. She still managed to look tough and sexy most of the time, but that dress and how Helga had styled her for the ceremony? Deliciously feminine and beautiful. I could just stare at her all day, no matter what she wore.

"Does it bother you that I don't really, you know, wear girly stuff?" She said, chewing a large bite of ham. My eyes could not seem to tear away from her full lips as she chewed. Right, Kieran, respond like your brain is still working.

"Not at all. I like your tough girl, badass style." I divulged, winking at her. "Doesn't mean I don't appreciate it when you do decide to dress up, mo shíorghrá Ana." I tapped her nose with my finger before returning to my breakfast with gusto.

"You looked pretty hot in more formal clothing too, mon coeur. I like your everyday look too, though. Casual and sexy." She waggled her brows. "Seriously though, aren't you glad fashion has become so much easier to wear? I used to swear they had torture in mind when they designed what women wore." She ranted mildly.

"Yeah, I can't argue with that." I snickered, and she stiffened. "You okay, Ana?" She shivered, her hands trembling as she stared down at our now empty plates.

"Umm, I think... Kier, I'm sorry, but..." She whimpered and I scented her gush of arousal. My poor mate. For someone used to being so in charge of her life, this must be truly challenging for her.

"Ana mo bhanríon, never apologize for needing my help with your heat. Come on, let's go to the bed and I will take care of you, okay?" She nodded, still a little upset, and I scooped her up from her stool, depositing her on the bed. I was as yet unsure how to tell her she was pregnant. It had to be soon because she would know I had not told her when I could have. Her trust was becoming more solid, but I could not afford a single crack in it. Timing was everything.

I just hoped my weird and awkward way of delivering information didn't cause my problems with my wonderful mate. It was a legitimate worry. How do you start that conversation?

I made slow love to her, showing her how much I treasured her. I know she was wanting to push for something more dramatic because of her heat, but I needed to show her my more tender feelings, Not just raw, unbridled passion. For her I could feel that slow and sensual had become drawn-out, pleasurable torture. To be honest, I liked it better than taking her hard and fast. Our orgasm was explosive as we fell over the edge together. She almost immediately fell asleep again, and I could not help but join her, while she was nestled safely against my chest.

Damn I hoped this went well...

Anais POV

I was running through a city that I did not recognize. I knew I'd been here before, but when was not clear. Where Claire was, I did not know. I knew I could not stop moving. They were coming for me. I thought of my mate and hoped he was safe. Shadows seemed to be chasing me from every direction as I pushed my human feet to keep going. I wanted nothing more than to collapse and cry from the terror.

The sense of danger sent a chill down my back. I could almost feel an icy band touch my shoulder as I dodged it. They were closing in, and I seemed oddly helpless. Almost... human... as my legs burned and my breath was harsh. Just as I felt a cold hand wrap around my wrist, I startled awake, crying out "Nooo!" Kieran popped up next to me, dragging me to his chest as he rubbed my back.

"Shhhhh. What is it, mo chridhe?" He implored, looking around the hut, but seeing nothing. He immediately relaxed and turned his attention back to focus on me. The dream was a flashback to when I'd been heavily poisoned and escaped, only to be caught before I escaped a second time. I felt slight relief that it was a flashback and not a vision. On rare occasions, I had short and cryptic visions that I often failed to interpret until I was knee-deep in trouble.

"A dream." I choked out as he handed me water. I drank deeply. "Of the past." At his concerned look, I stroked his face. "I'm okay, Kier. It was hard but I'm here." He hugged me close. After a few minutes I'd calmed my racing heart and mind a little bit. I could not seem to shake the sense of dread though, no matter how much I inhaled Kier's scent.

"Listen, Ana. There is something I need to tell you and I'm not really sure how." He winced. My heart dropped to my stomach. After such an ominous dream, I was suddenly nervous. Maybe it was prophetic, after all. I'd never seen Kier so hesitant, even at the beginning. Well, maybe when I'd offered my hand to him. I hoped one day that would actually feel funny. Right now though, it caused doubt to rear its ugly head.

"Is this good news or potentially upsetting news?" I queried, taking in a shaky breath. A purr began to emanate from Kieran's chest, attempting to soothe me. It annoyed me more than anything else, like I wasn't capable of handling whatever he was going to shoot my way. "Stop purring Ri'dubh." I'm sure my tone was pretty damn grumpy.

"Well, technically it could be both?" He hedged, his eyes avoiding mine. No, no, no. He can't be like this after... everything! I knew I should have been more cautious.

Ma cherie, s'il te plaît, give him a chance to explain, it's not what you think, Claire tried, but I was already steeling myself for the worst kind of news. All of which meant he wanted me to leave, of course. Anais, he doesn't want you to leave, silly. How can that be the first conclusion that you come to? For Goddess' sake!

"Come on Alpha Kieran, just tell me." I moved away from his touch, my tone icy and formal, certain this was when things went sideways. I should not have trusted how delightful he was. Huffing, he pulled me closer, ignoring my attempts to pull away.

"Don't you dare push me away and use my title." He growled possessively, Ri'dubh right there with him. "You are mine forever. Mo shíorghrá, mo bhanríon." There was a subtle dominance in his tone, but I ignored it. At the least, he could not win over me in a power contest.

"Out with it, Kieran, or I'm going to be officially angry." I growled right back, using my aura. I had not forgotten that his wolf nearly submitted to mine. I was not above pulling rank if I had to. This alpha needed to get his head out of his ass and apprise me of what was so important that he was nearly beside himself and digging himself into another awkward hole just speaking.

"Don't try that s**t with me anymore, Ana. You've shared your power with me and can't command me anymore." I stared at him mutinously, refusing to speak as tears gathered in my eyes. He blew out a harsh breath. "This was not supposed to be like this. It's like we've gone back to when you first arrived, and I've f****d everything up all over again." My shoulders sagged. He tentatively kissed my forehead. "Look, it's just that Ri'dubh noticed something yesterday about your body, and I've been trying to figure out how to tell you." I rolled my hand around my wrist in a gesture to keep talking. "It's just... you wanted pups right?" I nodded, confused. "Soooo, there was a reason the knotting was so long... Goddess, I suck at this." He looked into my eyes, tears forming. Was I... barren or something? "You'e pregnant, Ana." He rushed out.

What?

Claire giggled, and Kieran along with his wolf purred in pleasure. I stared at him,dumbfounded.

"Pregnant?!" I exclaimed.

That was not at all what I was expecting to hear!