Ever Cynical

Chapter 5- Wild Bunnies

Anais POV

I awoke refreshed for the first time in entirely too long. As I washed my face and brushed out my hair before sweeping it into a high ponytail that grazed my bum, I noticed that I looked so much healthier. One good night’s sleep in a place I felt secure with excellent food, and I looked like a new person. I sighed, hoping I could convince Kieran, who clearly disliked me for some strange reason, to let me stay indefinitely. I may have spoken as if I would be gone soon, but this was exactly the kind of place I needed. Isolated but not without community.

Hiding but not lonely, you know?

“It doesn’t matter that Kieran is everything you feel totally attracted to, Ana. This is for your peace of mind.” I told myself out loud, almost shouting. I swear I heard a choking noise, but it was so brief I thought I must have imagined it. Slapping my cheeks, I went to my duffel to pull out today’s outfit. I hadn’t cared about what my clothes looked like, as long as they were functional, for years.

Thank the gods girls were allowed to wear pants!

I had to admit though, I wish I owned a few cuter outfits, maybe even sexy ones? I sighed. I suddenly realized how fortunate I’d been to avoid the distraction of crushes before now. I was already a mess and it had been less than twenty-four hours that I’d known Kieran. It was obvious I felt drawn to the sexy and grouchy man.

Crazy, right? He wasn't even nice to me and I wanted to jump him. There has to be something wrong with me.

Since it was just turning autumn, the air was crisp and slightly chilly in the morning. I chose fitted low rise black cargoes, a soft gray army tee I’d hacked into a fab 80’s style crop top, and an army green military style jacket complete with patches. It wasn’t genuine but it was soft and comfortable. To finish it off, I put on my Docs. I wasn’t big on wearing my boots to breakfast, but I knew I’d get another weird look if I showed up again in pink bunny slippers. I had not missed the amused smirks from Kieran’s team.

He had been too annoyed to notice; I think.

I checked my piercings were all in order- I'd acquired a ton, being alone and all, along with a few tattoos. Something to do and pain never bothered me. It had led to some misunderstandings about what kind of girl I was, since most guys equate tattoos and piercings with a freak in the sheets, and to be real with y’all, I’m a virgin. Not for lack of opportunity, but just not interested. I sighed.

Until now.

It might complicate things, but it was pretty clear Kieran was single. Maybe, for once, I could just live normally and hope for the best. Then again, I had no idea how to truly flirt. I could fake it but to really connect? Not something I’d ever tried. It’s not unusual to fear connecting with people when you lost your whole family to a fire at ten years old. I never did understand why emotional pain bothered me so much more than physical pain.

I guess the best thing to do was be myself. I shrugged and slipped out of my door only to smack right into Kieran’s hard chest. He held my arms to steady me, his thumbs rubbing slow circles into my biceps. Well, hell.

Maybe I should pretend I can’t move? Milk his touch for all that I could?

It was nice, he smelled like coconut and lime, with maybe vetiver? Fresh and masculine without being heavy. When I audibly sniffed right as we made eye contact, I blushed to the roots of my hair. What the heck? Who sniffs people like that? Not me, normally.

For the first time since we met, he smiled at me. Holy s**t. His smile should be illegal. It was absolutely lethal. He was wearing another long sleeve fitted tee, this time in navy blue, with black jeans and boots. He had a navy plaid flannel thrown over the top like a jacket. His hair was in loose curls around his shoulders, no man bun in sight today. It was totally not fair. He laughed and shivers trailed through my whole body. He quirked a brow.

Did he somehow know I wanted to thrust my fingers into his hair and lick him?

“You okay there, Anais? You look a little dazed.” His voice was deep and almost caressing. It was weird, I didn't get the chaos from him today that I got yesterday. He seemed content, almost, but there was some other kind of tension I could not quite place. He let go and stood back. “Well, we should get going hmm?" All I could do was nod. Maybe there was hope yet. It could not last forever, but maybe I'd finally found someone I could share at least part of my life with.

Is it weird I felt like crying at the realization?

Everything for me, unfortunately, was temporary.

Kieran POV

I’d heard her talking to herself and it made all the difference. Knowing our attraction was mutual eased a huge part of my mind. The anxiety of “she’s just not into you” evaporated. It was like a metal band that had sat taut across my chest was released and I could breathe again. I could work with mutual attraction, it wasn’t enough to guarantee she’d want to stay yet, or that she was fully trustworthy, but it was a start.

We toured the border, and she kept tabs on how many cameras were needed for full coverage. She told me she wanted to do three full perimeters at five-mile intervals. It was a good idea. We had plenty of funds to do it. We might have businesses that offered steady income, but our pack was old money and quite wealthy. I told her we had electricians available to lay wire for her, she just needed to map out where. By the end of the day, a full plan was drawn up, and we were both exhausted. We had stopped briefly to rush through a couple of sandwiches and bottled water, but Anais had said this was the most important part.

We’d talked about a variety of subjects, but I could tell she was holding back. Not in a deceptive way, rather as if she was worried about how I was going to respond. It was the same wariness that my pack had around pretty much anyone else outside of our allies. I’d worked hard the last hundred and fifty years to forge alliances not just with wolf packs, but with vampires, Fae, and dragons. At this point, witches and other animal shifters outside those groups mostly kept to themselves and maintained neutrality. I had a limited number of human allies, since they were often the hardest to trust.

Most supernaturals operated within specific laws without question, whereas humans had little regard, half the time, for laws of their own making.

This was part of why Anais was such a wild card. Part of me felt like there was more to her than meets the eye, but it would just be wishful thinking on my part. It would be so much easier to move forward if she was part of our world, on top of the fact that anyone not would essentially be a blip in my own existence. It would not last nearly long enough, and I could only imagine the pain when I stayed young while she aged past me. For both of us. To my knowledge, the Immortals’ power was not transferable. It would be beyond dangerous for us if it was.

Losing a mate, as was a strong potential with a human, didn't often leave much for the one they left behind. If the death was natural, we could survive it, but it was painful. We might get a second chance, but most times, shifters took a chosen after their mate's death just to reduce the pain. In the case of Immortals, if the death was unnatural, we would most certainly die. Having a human mate was very risky, though it wasn't going to stop me.

Most things we found agreement on, but it was clear she felt that women were massively underestimated and always had been.

To my way of thinking, a person proved themselves with skills and their treatment of others. Circumstances beyond your control, like gender, race, et cetera, were not in any way a standard by which to measure character. My father was considerably older, by about two hundred years. It was harder for him to be flexible on some societal norms, but despite that I’d learned tolerance from him to begin with. My mother was a more typical “mother of the pack” type, but despite her doomsayer tendencies, was strong. Even if she did give in to my father on more than I personally felt she should.

As we reached the pack house, she hopped out of my bottle-green jeep and smiled at me. I noticed she seemed less prickly today, her typical cynicism taking a break. I could not help but smile back. While I knew it would break my heart that this was time-limited, I simply knew I could not give up one minute that I had been given. If I was very lucky, we could have some children as well. It could never replace the joy of being with your mate, but it would be considerably less lonely.

“Thank you, Kieran. I’m going to wash up before dinner real quick. See you soon.” She walked into the pack house, and I again allowed myself a moment to love watching her go, even if I hated to see her leave. Wink wink.

When she walked into the dining room later, Geoff nudged my arm and mindlinked me.

Check out your mate’s feet. He giggled. I turned slightly and looked down. Ohhhhh my. No way was my hardass cynical mate wearing pink bunny slippers? I looked over to see Lugh and Sean trying desperately to contain their laughter.

It wasn’t that funny.

Okay, it was that funny. I didn't know if I could keep my goofy sense of humor from calling her on it.

She smiled as she shuffled to the seat next to me. When she noted our strained faces, she tilted her head to the side and put a hand on her hip.

“You guys okay there?” She said, quirking a brow. “You all look like you bet on who could snort wasabi and you all lost.” With that our laughter exploded into raucous guffaws. The other pack members that had already started eating craned their necks, wondering what the fuss was. She began to tap her foot. “What is going on?” She huffed. I struggled to catch my breath, and every time I tried to speak a new round of laughter rocked out of me. She tilted her head curiously.

“Don’t tell me you’re a... secret huntress.” I finally choked out. Geoff jabbed me in the ribs before more laughter poured out of him.