Ever Cynical

Chapter 34🌶️- Giving Up Control

Anais POV

I'd never thought of Kieran as especially dangerous, but right now, holding those cuffs with exuberant exhilaration, I was nervous.

Not because I thought he would hurt me. It was just hard to give up control. I hated feeling out of control. There was part of me that wanted to give it to him though. Let him lead me where he would, and feel secure that he would take me good places. Taking a shaky breath, I waited as he grinned and patted the bed.

I climbed into the middle, laying back against the pillows. I raised my arms towards the low headboard of blonde wooden posts. He buckled one cuff on, slid the other between the posts, and buckled the other, a chain of about eight inches between them and holding me in place. After about five seconds of panic, I realized I was okay. Kieran was everything to me, and I was everything to him. I could feel his desire and affection through our bond, and more than a bit of thrilled eagerness. I relaxed, deciding that it was okay to give him control. I was okay. And then I discovered, when I let go, I felt safe. Safer than ever before.

He ran his hands down my body sensually before pulling my legs apart and sliding between them. He kissed everything he could reach, followed by seductive, slow caresses. It was the best kind of torture. He smiled, knowing my frustration was wanting to touch him. Mating my wolf had eased my heat slightly, but I could feel it returning as I began to pant. He reached over and held the bottled water to my lips. See, I can trust him to care for me. He was the sweetest alpha ever, I swear.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that if I said no to anything, he'd stop. With our bond, I probably didn't really have to say anything, he'd know if I truly panicked or felt pain. Not that he was planning to do anything painful, but as I've said before, a little would be fine. I can tolerate a lot, as we all know. Pushing boundaries would probably be good for me, in all reality.

"Mo shíorghrá... There is something I want to try. I know this is hard for you, giving me control. But do you think I can play here?" His finger slid down my soaked, gushing core to my back entrance. You would think since we'd just started having s*x, I'd be shy about it, but to be honest, I'd seen it in some porn and been deeply curious myself. I nodded. He grinned. "This is why you are perfect. So open-minded. But first, I have a little something to help us relax." He waggled his brows and grabbed a small package from the bedside table. Weed gummies? Huh, I didn't think they worked on supernaturals... "If you take three it's like one for a human. Open up for me, mo chridhe." I followed his instructions, chewing the orange-flavored candies. He helped himself to three as well. "While we wait for those to kick in, should be five minutes maybe, with our metabolisms, I'm going to get you warmed up, alright?" I nodded my consent, though I suppose I better learn to verbalize things too.

Anything that involved control meant consent. To allow another dominion over your body and enjoy it, consent was absolutely essential.

I loved that he was open with everything he was doing. He dipped his head between my legs, lapping at my folds. As my heat continued to rise, it almost felt like my core was a freaking faucet. Bet we would need to change the sheets. His hand reached up and tweaked my n****e piercings, getting the perfect balance of pain to pleasure as I gasped his name. Then I felt the gummies kick in. Ohhhhhkayyyyy. His finger, which had been probing my core, slid down to circle my rear entrance, then gently push inside. He was not wrong about the gummies. I bet I would have stiffened up right away, but without the distraction of societal shame, all I could feel was that it brought me pleasure. He moved his other hand from my n*****s to thrust two fingers into my core. When he slid a second finger, and then a third into my tight rosette, the pleasure was out of this world as both of his hands stroked my most intimate entrances in tandem.

"More, Kieran, please." I begged. He looked at me and grinned. Then he deliberately giggled, and I gushed. He continued his ministrations, the tingles and sparks making me feel like I was going to lose my mind from carnal stimulation. My hips rocked with his movements, I didn't even care if he thought I was acting like a harlot. Suddenly, I was hit full-force by a wave of ecstasy as my orgasm crested without warning. My legs trembled and tears pricked my eyes at the exquisite pleasure my mate had just given me. My thighs were soaked, just like the sheets underneath me.

"Perfect, mo chridhe. No lube needed." He quipped, kissing my thighs briefly before sliding up to kiss my mouth deeply. I could taste myself on him, but I didn't care about that. I wanted more of what he was giving me, and I wanted to c*m, again. This time, I wanted him inside me, whichever way he wanted me.

"Please Kier, please." I begged again, as tears rolled down my face. I was so hot and horny and I needed him to help me. Heat was no f*****g joke. I felt like the only rational thought I could produce was what position I wanted him in next.

"Shhhhh go hálainn. I've got you." He whispered tenderly as he spread my legs wider and lifted my hips at an angle, propping my thighs slightly so that he could slide into my back entrance. He looked into my teary eyes as he pushed inside to his balls, in one firm thrust. Since he had prepared me so well, and I was relaxed from the gummies, it did not hurt at all. I was blown away by how good it felt. Don't get me wrong, regular s*x felt amazing. This was different in a good way. Another thing I wasn't sure I wanted to do all the time, but amazing all the same.

And then... he started to move. Hoooo-ly s**t. I was immediately out of my mind, thrashing against my restraint as he unrelentingly pounded my ass. It was too good, I was going to pass out. The sound of our bodies slapping and groans of pleasure were raunchy bliss. I loved it. When he started to circle my c**t piercing with his thumb, I was pushed over the edge, crashing hard into the depths of mindless and exquisite rapture. I thought I'd had the orgasm to end all orgasms before? I was wrong. And somehow I knew this man's creativity was going to keep teaching me there was always more. My core was spasming tightly as he yelled my name hoarsely, smashing his face into my mark and biting it roughly, sending one more massive wave of pleasure through both of us.

Is it weird that one of my favorite parts of intimacy is feeling Kieran's c*m jet into me? Knowing I did that... It makes everything even better, I feel more connected to him. He'd claimed all of me, and I was thoroughly sated. For now. Stupid heat.

When we caught our breath, he pulled out and away, getting a washcloth to clean me up. I waited patiently, cuffs still in place, knowing he would release me once he'd done after care. When he came back from dumping the washcloth in the hamper, he gently unbuckled me and kissed my forehead. He held one of his burgundy tee shirts.

"Mo bhanríon, come to the couch and I will change the sheets." He held out a hand, pulling me to stand. He then slid the shirt over my head. Still dazed and feeling the effects of the gummies, I let him do whatever he wanted. He led me to the couch, settling a soft fleece throw blanket around my legs. After pressing another sweet kiss to my forehead, he grabbed the sheets and started a load of laundry. Oh right, probably our first night's sheets in there too.

Gosh!

It was hard not to be embarrassed, but I understood at the same time, that my alpha liked to be a caretaker.

Kieran POV

I needed something to do, or I was going to be even mushier than I had so far. She had literally given me everything. Considering she was also pregnant? It was taking the entirety of my being to not overdo, well, everything. I wasn't sure when it would be okay to tell her about the... pups. There were at least three. I knew she wanted babies, but this was a lot to take, given outside circumstances. Perhaps even a little irresponsible, but we'd already discussed it, so... I busied myself making coffee. One cup wasn't going to hurt the pups. By the time I had the coffee made, I had calmed down a bit. I walked over to her, having added her favorite french vanilla creamer already.

She smiled. Am I a total cheeseball for thinking it was the best thing I'd ever seen in my life? Probably, but being with her, I felt content and complete. It's okay to be cheesy when you find your true love, I'm just saying. It's okay to show that to them too, but given that I'd cried earlier, I decided to hold off a little bit. I knew she had no doubt that I was a strong alpha, I just didn't want to overwhelm her. I'm needy and I know it.

Cling-a-saurus Rex. That's me.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to her. She leaned into my shoulder and nuzzled me gently. I could still smell her arousal, but it was a low ebb. She caught me sniffing and raised a brow, her eyes narrowed. I couldn't help but giggle at her expression, and she smacked my arm. Thankfully, not hard enough to disturb my coffee.

"Kier, seriously. You are insatiable." She rolled her eyes, but I could feel her clench her thighs together. To be honest, I'd always felt a little bad for females in heat. Must be annoying to lack basic control like that, and have your body just do what it feels like. While in the case of Immortals, we were indeed endangered, most species that had heats were not. Like, your standard house cat. Why the gods felt they needed heats for survival was beyond me.

Can you imagine if humans went into heat? Yeah, try to lose that mental image... if you can. Ugh.

"I'm sorry, it's so hard to control the giggle sometimes. You're a really funny person, you know?" I quipped. "But seriously, go hálainn, thank you. Thank you for trusting me and letting me have all of you, without reservation." Oh s**t, tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. I was not trying to make her cry.

"I don't know why I'm like this." She sobbed. "I'm actually really happy." She wailed. Giggle averted, I pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Don't worry, Mo shíorghrá, I've got you. You can let it all out."

And just like that, the floodgates opened in a torrent of her beautiful tears.