Ever Cynical

Chapter 18- Cryptic Selene

Anais POV

I was running through moonlit woods again. Actually, I was pretty sure it was Claire that was doing the running, but that's semantics, since we share a body, right? Claire giggled in response to my wandering thoughts. As we approached the same lake where I'd met Claire, I saw the moon goddess waiting. I wondered where Kieran and his wolf were.

Still awake, came Claire's answer. I refocused on the goddess beckoning us to come closer, and sat on my wolf haunches in front of her. She patted my furry head, and I could hear Claire purring.

"My dearest child." She sighed woefully. Oh great. I know that body language. Bad news. What else is new? Not like the world could let me just be happy with my mate for a while before coming after me, right? "There is so much you need to know and only so much that I am permitted to tell you. We gods and goddesses may guide, but we are supposed to do only that." I was not sure I could take a bunch of riddles, so I was hoping she'd at least be direct in what she did have to say.

"Understood." I replied. I wasn't sure what more she was expecting, but she continued, pacing slightly. I could sense that she had a lot she wanted to tell me but could not.

"Your mate and his team are correct that there is more going on here than meets the eye. Your alpha has correctly deduced that your family background is very important. Reach out to your friends of other races now that you know you are a wolf. They can be trusted. Also, things for your race will change once you are mated and marked." We growled, upset that it sounded like we were once again, a danger to our people. She waved her hand with impatience, pouting slightly.

"Not in a bad way. You have been the missing piece for them. You had another mate long ago that was killed. He was the first they used the known method on." My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach. What about Kieran? What if I'd met this other mate and he'd lived? "My dear, Kieran has always had his place in your fate. Circumstances being what they were, it simply changed your paths. There is no need to feel guilty. His life and death would not have interfered with your bond either way. Had he lived, you would have had multiple mates. Feel free to love Kieran with all that you have, you will need it."

"Can you tell me anything about why these Kings are seeking me?" I asked, deciding to let the multiple mates thing slide. I'm not sure I'd have been able to handle two mates, one was already a lot to manage given my circumstances. I can't say I'd deny them, not knowing how wonderful having a mate had been so far. I knew rejection was one of the worst things that could happen to any supernatural. No way could I have subjected anyone to that.

It just wasn't who I was, and there is nothing that limits love, though reasonably one person can only have so much attention to give. That would be my concern, ensuring my mates all felt cherished as they deserved.

"I can't tell you the reason, but seeking your roots will provide everything you need. Stick with your mate and everything will work out. Don't let your doubts make you run." She chided me as her crystalline golden eyes pierced mine. Of course the goddess knew everything.

"Ahh, you know me so well." I chirped, hoping to lighten the tone, knowing she was aware I would run at the first sign I was causing a problem.

"I know that the moment you think you've put your people in danger you will go into hiding again. Don't do that this time. Stand proudly and fight alongside Kieran. Trust your pack, your people, and your allies." It felt like she was trying very hard to infuse me with confidence, but I'm not sure dream talk was going to do that for me.

"Alright." I said and shrugged, somewhat noncommittally. I would decide for myself if the risk was worth it. I knew I was being stubborn, and that Kieran would absolutely hound me to the ends of the earth if I ran. No doubt I could not hide from him, anyway. We may have only known each other for a few days, but I could sense that both he and his wolf were nothing if not tenacious, especially for their loved ones. And I was aware that he indeed, already loved me. He hadn't said it, but it was plain as day.

"Anais, without you your race has no future. You cannot let them go forward without you." She said sadly. Claire howled as the dream faded. I sat up with a start. Kieran immediately wrapped his golden, muscular arms around me, kissing my head. A tear escaped and landed on his forearm. He pulled back and wiped my tears with his thumb.

"What's wrong, mo shíorghrá?" He asked softly. I looked into his sparkling emerald eyes, and wondered again how it was possible I could have had another mate. I didn't want anyone but him, and yet I felt guilty for never knowing he existed. I licked my suddenly dry lips. His eyes followed the action with hunger, but he patiently waited for my answer.

"The moon goddess came to me in my dream." I announced. He frowned. I took a deep breath. "It seems that the first Immortal killed by the method you described... he was originally my mate, but I never met him." I said as tears spilled. "It's my fault, Kieran." He wiped my tears gently and pulled me to his chest. His oh-so sexy chest. I nuzzled him and inhaled his delicious scent.

"It's never been your fault, go hálainn. It's greed and cruelty that caused it. You didn't know, you couldn't know. It's better that you didn't, or it's likely you would have died then too. Was there more, or the moon goddess just thought it would be sweet of her to tell you something that she knew you could do nothing about?" I could feel his anger and placed my hand on his shoulder.

As frustrating as it was, I knew the goddess did what she could within the rules she was given. She hadn't told me to hurt me, it was to reassure me that fate had been trying to place me within Celtic Moon for a very long time. I would mourn the man I never knew, but it wasn't like I could save him now.

"It's okay Kieran, she wasn't trying to make me feel bad." I said tenderly, and he huffed, his anger dissipating as I drew circles on his smooth, defined chest. "She said I need to find out about my real family, and reach out to my allies. She said the reason the Kings are after me has to do with my background, just as Geoff surmised, but that she can't tell me much or it's too much interfering." He nodded, stroking my hair. "She also said something about me being the missing piece for our people. I was always supposed to be with the pack, I'm guessing. She says good things will come from me being here, but basically, we're in for a fight." I looked away, blushing. "She also told me not to run." He grasped my chin, eyes blazing with passion, love, and a little fear.

"She is right, no running, mo chridhe. I need you here with me. I've always been a reasonable man, but if you leave, I don't think I can stay that way." He murmured, sliding his lips gently across mine before pulling back and looking into my eyes again. "I won't try to order or command you, but I will ask and beg and plead with you to stay if I must. Please trust me. After all, only you get my jokes." He said, his lips quirking up to one side. I giggled.

"Okay fine, you got me. I just couldn't take it if I caused pain to our people knowing I could spare them." I rested my forehead on his chest and straddled his lap, ignoring his burgeoning manhood as best I could. "Now that I've found you, and them, I care so much, you know? I was so alone for so long. Now you all are my everything" Tears poured from my eyes as he stroked my back gently.

"Be careful mo shíorghrá, you might awaken the beast with sexy words like that." He said playfully lifting his hips. We both began to laugh, easing the tension and slowing my tears.

"I will remember that in the future when you're trying to resist my charms." I smacked his chest lightly, grinding on him just a bit. So close to him just... slipping inside. Damn I wanted him. He groaned and pinned me with a heated glare.

"I'm only resisting until you shift. After that I'm going to be like a barnacle. Probably annoy the hell out of you, Miss Independent." He giggled. "I plan to get in lots of practice for your heat." I blushed as he matched the slow grind of my hips, then grinned and nodded. "I waited for you for a long time, but that doesn't mean I didn't have urges or feelings, I'm just a very controlled and dedicated alpha."

"Ohhhhhh?" I arched a brow at him. "Urges, hmm? Any particular, you know, person, or something that got you going?" I knew this man was very mate-focused, or he'd not have waited, but I wanted to tease him a bit. He was staring at my bared, pierced n*****s hungrily.

"What? No! Just, biology, you know. Waking up with morning wood, stuff like that. A man can't exactly help what his biology does." He huffed out, pouting slightly. Awww he was just so damn cute as he defended his body doing what male bodies do. I was a reasonable woman, after all.

"True, true. So you made do with your hand then?" I asked as he blushed furiously, then hesitantly nodded as we slowly continued to grind, very carefully. I knew he was waiting for a reason, as much as I wanted him now.

"What about you, go hálainn?" It was my turn to blush and look away for a moment before returning to his eyes as I gasped at the pleasure just from grinding on him. Such small touches and I was already losing my mind!

"I waited, of course. You already know that. But as for urges, no. I never felt attracted or tempted. I was actually beginning to think maybe I was asexual. Now I know it was just that the person I needed wasn't around yet." He seemed confused and pleased at the same time.

"No hand action for you, then?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"No need for it, until I met you." I smirked, kissing him softly and licking his lips teasingly. Of course that's what he really wants to know.