Ever Cynical

Chapter 14- Raw Emotion

Kieran POV

As I held her, shaking and sobbing, in my lap, I looked over at my team. Their own eyes were filled with tears, and though none of us would admit it later, it was a very emotional moment. The room was silent other than the sounds of us all sniffing back tears. If we weren't so upset, I might have giggled at the situation. We all remembered finding out the method that could kill us, knowing the terror and pain our brethren had experienced. It was worse for Anais, because someone, probably a witch, had tried things on her to test. They may not have known she was a wolf, but it had spurred their creativity in the darkest of ways.

Not that all witches were bad. It was a misconception on the part of many. It was actually a very small group of dark witches that caused any trouble you'd get from a witch. I had my suspicions that they had dabbled into the wrong side of scrying and their leader was more demon than human at this point, but even demons in general got a bad rap. Mirgadok, the demon king, was not interested in keeping demons around that went too far. He was all about balance and fair retribution. Their purpose was punishment in the underworld, but a few took a little too much joy in it and were exiled to another plane. This most likely was where dark witches had found them. I rubbed her back soothingly.

She looked up at me, her sky-blue eyes desperate as crystalline teardrops clung to her lush black lashes. Her brows were drawn together, her full lips just pouty enough to be almost too tempting as they trembled with emotion.

"You have to promise me, Kieran." I sighed. As much as I would have loved to simply assure her I'd never come to harm, the world was an unpredictable place. Her wolf came forward, and her eyes glowed purple. "Promise me." She growled. The others stood and came closer, eager to see Claire, even in less than ideal circumstances. Her aura was already as strong as mine. Ri'dubh purred his pleasure at his mate's strength. Not that we'd been concerned about it, obviously we would protect her no matter what, but it was nice to know that their strength was balanced.

"I will promise you I will do my very best to live into eternity with you, Anais. You know as well as I do that no Immortal willingly went into death." She closed her eyes and blew out a breath as a single tear rolled down her alabaster cheek.

"That's the thing." She whispered painfully. "I have. I did, more than once. I took care of people sick with the Black Death, even. Every plague I've been alive for I walked into thinking that maybe this organism could finally end my loneliness. I went to dangerous neighborhoods and waited for something bad to happen. I jumped off an ocean liner in the middle of the Atlantic and even then? I ended up on a beach somewhere and very unpleasantly coughed all the saltwater out of my lungs." I put my hands on either side of her face, immediately concerned. She was or had been suicidal? Why! Ri'dubh howled his pain in my head, thinking our beautiul mate could have been gone.

"Why would you do that?" I exclaimed, genuinely horrified.

"I was so alone. Maybe that's why half of this stuff that happened doesn't bother me. I... wanted to die. I'd only try to escape when they started bringing other people in, and try to get them out. I knew they had people waiting for them." Her eyes were on mine, such a poignant and deep pain etched in them, begging me to see her perspective. "Please understand how lonely I've been. This is the first place I've ever felt at peace. You are the first person to make me feel safe. I know your team would do anything to protect me, but you are my haven, and I'm so grateful I failed."

I hugged her closer and nodded towards the door to my Beta, Gamma, and Delta. We needed a moment alone. I needed to reassure her and make her understand that despite these revelations, I wanted all of her, whatever that meant. They each gently patted her back as they left. They too, realized that she needed something only I could give her.

Not that, not yet... I mean emotional support! Goddess! As much as I indeed want her in every way, her emotional health comes first.

"Now, Luna Anais. What ever shall I do with you?" I said in a gently teasing tone as I pulled back to look into her eyes again. She blushed, and tentatively brushed her lips against mine in a chaste kiss. Her eyes twinkled.

"The thing I didn't tell all of your team was that I have tenaciously guarded my virtue. That, Alpha Kieran, was my first kiss. Ever." She smiled charmingly, and more than a little coyly. How had she managed that? Over nine hundred years and she'd never been tempted? And none of these bastards had managed to add that into their awful games? "With all that heavy s**t out of the way, how about we do some... bonding?" She said it breathlessly, as if afraid I would deny her. I lifted a hand to her cheek.

"As much as I absolutely want to pursue your line of thinking, I'm not sure I can keep Ri'dubh from taking things too far. We have to wait for your wolf to, you know, fully mate." I blushed. Goddess I was awkward. She pulled back a bit, her brow flinging up.

"Alpha, are you... also a virgin?" My face, I'm sure, was red as a tomato. I nodded sheepishly. She grinned. "Aren't we a pair, huh?" She tapped her chin. "What about cuddling and touching but not doing the deed?" All I could look at was her lips as she spoke. The fact that she was talking about getting even minutely physical had my brain going all kinds of crazy directions.

"What?" I was so distracted, especially as I could smell her arousal thickly around us. Her wolf was clearly getting stronger. She got off my lap, walking to the door, her hips swaying, and beckoned me with one finger.

"The computer can wait for now, Alpha, let's go get to know each other a little better." I quickly stood and followed her to her room, holding her hand as she pulled me along. Geoff saw us in the hall and winked. Goddess he was annoying. We walked in and she quickly locked the door. I stood there clumsily waiting and she giggled. "Kieran, mon coeur, relax. Neither of us knows anything about all this, let's just, let instinct lead us, hmm?" She walked up to me and slipped her arms around my neck, plunging her finger into my loose curls. She then pulled my lips down to hers.

Anais POV

I was nervous as hell, but I knew we both needed this, needed to connect physically, even if we weren't mating yet. I had no idea what I was doing, even if I had watched porn out of curiosity on occasion. All my ideas poofed right out of my brain as nerves took over. I wanted to touch him, but I wanted it to be the best thing that had ever happened to him. Kissing... right. Focus on the lips. Maybe I'm focusing too much? Am I being too gentle? Touching him feels amazing either way for me so... He pulled away, looking down at me with a grin.

"Are you sure you're ready for this? You're mentally freaking out, the stress is pouring off of you in waves." He said gently.

"It's just, I want to... You know... Make you feel good and show you how much I care." I managed to stutter out. He pressed a quick chaste kiss to my lips.

"You did and you do. Remember I know nothing, too. We're probably going to mess up, fumble. But we can learn together what we like and build on that, hmm?" How did he know what I needed to hear? "So just relax, and let things happen." I nodded, pulling his lips back to me. This time I let him lead, opening my mouth as he gently probed with his tongue. We both seemed to get lost in the moment, our tongues frantically lapping and sucking before we broke apart, breathing heavily. "Well." He said. I nodded, blushing. I knew he wanted to say it was beautiful and amazing, but we were both feeling shy. For all that I spent most of my time being bold and hard, he made me want to be gentle and soft. Not in a weak, submissive way, but in a caring and giving way. I knew he'd never push me to bow to him, alpha or not. His cheeks turned red. "Um, do you think we could..." He hesitated.

"What is it Alpha? I won't judge you. You could ask me to mate right now, and I would probably allow it." I giggled, and he giggled too. "Aren't we silly?" Our giggles turned to full-blown laughter at our own ineptness. He caught his breath.

"Okay, okay. In all seriousness. I was thinking maybe we could take a bath together, maybe get used to being naked?" I stared at him, then grinned.

"Yeah. Let's do it!" I was never so grateful for practically having a personal onsen in my bathroom. There was plenty of room for both of us in the tub, even a few more if this was some kind of weird ass bathing party. We stripped, peeking at each other as we went. He was so muscular and beautiful it was hard to look away, honestly. He looked right back at me, clearly liking what he saw by the impressive length standing proudly up to his belly. He flushed slightly but I shook my head.

"No embarrassment, mon coeur. It's just you and me forever, and I definitely like what I see. How about you?" I batted my eyelashes as I pulled my long hair over my shoulder. Long hair is the best thing ever, but it's easy to sit on it accidentally. I walked towards the tub, only to be stopped by his hands on my hips, his thumbs stroking gently.

"There are no words for how stunningly beautiful and tempting you are." He breathed. Well, damn, He kissed my neck, ever so gently, and stepped around me into the bath, holding his hand out to help me in. A gentleman, too.

As we sat on opposite sides of the wooden tub, talking now in a very relaxed way, I could not help but thank the moon goddess yet again for bringing me the most unusual alpha. I knew things would not always be so simple and enjoyable, but I planned to live the moment to its fullest.