Ever Cynical

Chapter 68- Ludolf's Frustration

**TRIGGER WARNING BECAUSE LUDOLF IS JUST THAT SHITTY OF AN INDIVIDUAL**

Ludolf POV

My wolf has been pacing and growling incessantly. He would not shut up about finding Simone. My mate was fading more and more, could barely make it through my mating her without vomiting. Betrayal marks covered her body, of course, but I didn't care. Never had. Every time, she would beg me to reject her, but no way was I weakening myself. At this point, I was desperate to find a way to extend both my life and my rule.

My wolf's constant movement and verbalizations gave me a pounding and persistent headache, making my mood even worse.

I was ill. For two hundred f*****g years my condition had been degenerating.

Werewolves don't generally get ill. My wolf just kept pushing me to find Simone when I asked him if he thought we were somehow cursed. The pack doctors, witches, and even the Fae I'd managed to drag in could do nothing. All of them reminded me I was getting older, and eventually my body would get slower, weaker. The problem was, I felt almost like there were... fractures in my soul. When one pack doctor had gently suggested perhaps it was related to my mate's condition, I dismissed his words and exiled him from the pack. There was just no possible way my treatment of her mattered that much.

She was the weak one, not me. Gisela. My fragile, boring but beautiful mate.

I hated it when I felt the need to give in to mating her. I'd made the mistake of mating and marking her on sight. She'd cried, screamed, and protested, trying to fight me. I'd loved it when she fought. Sadly, the initial mating must have broken her, because she never looked me in the eyes or stood up for herself again. Hmmph. One thing she was right about, was that I should have gotten to know her a little first so I could reject her sorry ass. The smell of her prolific virgin's blood had been so invigorating. She'd bled profusely, more than I'd expected from a wolf. I kept trying to recapture that moment with other women, but it was never the same.

They never bled like my mate had that first time. It was angering, to say the least.

I shook away thoughts of Gisela. She was practically human at this point, her wolf barely surviving. My wolf didn't seem to give a s**t, which was odd. Ever since he'd laid eyes on Simone. Before that, he'd tried to convince me to stop giving our mate betrayal pains and have an heir with her. Now? He didn't want anything to do with her other than our now ritualistic mating once a week, every other week if I could avoid her that long. She just laid there, tears streaming from her eyes. See? Boring. I like it when they cry, but I like it the most when they fight.

The fighting makes me so damn hard and excited. The feeling of dominance I craved from overpowering my... partners... was so very thrilling. I sought out a few a day just to try and keep myself sated. It was getting more and more difficult to find targets, though. I'd even had to resort to trafficking humans as servants. Most times after I was done, they either died from my violence or through self-inflicted harm. I wasn't bothered, either way. Once I'd had them, I was over them completely.

I might be a sick man, but I don't really care what anyone else wants or thinks.

Back to the subject of Simone. She had been a virgin when I met her. I could smell it. The fact that she'd been around six hundred years old and never had a man excited me on a level I'd never experienced. Since nobody mentioned her, I was nearly certain she was still alive, and probably still a virgin. I licked my lips. If not, I was intent on having any offspring she produced as my breeder. Maybe even a whole room of them, chained to their beds. f*****g perfect, that fantasy. I needed a strong heir, and my mate certainly wasn't going to do it. My wolf also urged that if I mated her, or a daughter, I'd gain something from her. What I would gain, he did not say, but he seemed absolutely sure of himself.

Shit, thinking about Simone and enslaving both her and any daughters she did or would have, and forcing them as I wished had made me hard as a rock. There was something extra special about thinking how very fun it would be to make her watch as I corrupted any daughters we could potentially have together with my c**k had me ready to blow. Damn, just to imagine breaking her like that, wiping that defiant expression off of her smug face... pure heaven.

And I came, hard, unbidden in my damn pants. Ugh. I cleaned up before refocusing on business items.

I opened my emails, checking to see if any of the damn inquiries I'd put out had a lead. The only thing they were saying was that the Werebears had imprisoned two of their team. Interesting. Why would the Werebears even care about people searching for a human? They were weird about mates and matebonds, I supposed, but how did they know this human was not my mate?

Well, even I think that's kind of a dumb question on my part. Everyone knows Gisela is my mate, and I've never claimed to have more than one. And it probably didn't help that I asked for her babies, if found. Hmm. Maybe I need to revamp my wanted info. Reading through it again, it was pretty obvious what I wanted was actually... not legal. I'm surprised I haven't been called out by the council yet and investigated.

Oh well. If they didn't want to do s**t, all the better for me.

Arresting me or dethroning me would destabilize the werewolf world, and unless they replaced me, I practically had immunity.

A new email popped in from the Council Administrator.

RE: Celtic Moon Pack's Application to Join the Elder Council

To Our Distinguished Leaders,

We are pleased to announce that Kieran Blake, along with his three mates, Erik Brighton- Alpha Werebear, Jothan Farrier- Fae Prince, and Anais Allard- Immortal Luna have been accepted to the Elder Council. They will attend meetings in pairs, on rotation, and make decisions as a unit. Though this is a new tradition within the council, we expect all council members to bring in their mates for further decision-making.

At our next meeting we will be pleased to introduce Erik and Jothan for the first rotation.

Congratulations to our newest members!

Thank you,

Elder Council Administration

What the f**k? Kieran was allowing his mates to have a say, and so was the council? And how the f**k did he end up with two male mates and one female mate? Wait... I scanned the names in the email one more time, and I was ready to murder Pflumer. Allard. That was Simone's last name, and the timing was too ironic to be a coincidence. I was even more certain as my wolf growled ferociously in my mind. Dammit. Kieran Blake, thorn in my side, now had what I'd been searching for in his grubby paws. Not only that, but with him now part of the council, I could do nothing to grab her back without the entire supernatural world coming for me. s**t.

Once again, everything on my desk was swept to the floor as I let out a massive roar, shaking my castle. Pflumer was the first to enter my office, pasty and sweaty from exerting himself. Good, he was alone. I was on him in seconds, my claws around his neck against the wall as I let my wolf, Daggar, snarl in his face. I could smell fear swirling thickly around us. As much as I enjoyed fear normally, my anger could not currently be soothed. Both my wolf and I were out for blood.

Pflumer just so happened to be at fault that we had missed her. Centuries of searching, and he'd f****d it up royally.

My canines slipped out as I leaned towards him, blood seeping out from where my claws dug into his neck as he gasped for air. This man understood that this wasn't just about being angry. He knew by my expression that his ass was on the line. He f****d up, and one false move was his end. I wasn't feeling merciful at all. I wasn't normally merciful anyway, but I was so far beyond upset and angry that I wasn't sure there was an adequate word that even existed.

I was in a vengeful furor, and he had my full livid wrath pointed straight at him.

"M-m-m-m-my K-k-k-k-king..." He stuttered, sweating so much it disgusted me. unfortunately, I had to touch him to get answers, and to kill him afterward, most likely. If he was very fortunate, I'd make it quick. It's a crying shame that even on an average day, I enjoyed fear and blood to rather extreme level. My eyes pierced his.

"Did you maybe... miss something very important at Celtic Moon?" I ground out, my fury pouring over him in waves. His eyes widened as he thought carefully. I could see that he was telling the truth, but it certainly didn't ease my pique. In fact, it meant that Kieran was smarter than I thought he was, and it was not a variable that I could afford. Not now.

"N-n-n-no y-y-your M-m-majesty. K-k-kieran k-k-k-kicked me out when h-h-he found m-m-m-me b-b-by the m-m-m-mating huts." He finally spit out. Goddess, he was weak. Wait. We both had an epiphany in that moment.

"He was hiding her. The one I have been looking for, Plfumer. Right under your f*****g nose. And worse? She's his f*****g mate, along with two other males. A Fae and a Bear. And guess who I just got an email about joining the council?" His terrified eyes widened as he understood the magnitude of his error. A feral grin lit my face as my claws tightened. An actual f*****g tear slipped out of one of his eyes. This guy was a mess. Pathetic.

"P-p-p-p-please m-my K-k-k-k-king, I-i-i-i'll go t-t-t-to our all-l-l-l-ies and t-t-t-try to g-g-g-get sup-p-p-p-port for an att-t-t-tack." He begged. I sighed. The time it would take to get another on board that I could trust with my secrets was worth not killing him.

Lucky for him.

"Fine." I said, and he sagged in relief. Too soon for that, you pig. I punched him hard in the gut, sending him to the ground, groaning in pain.

I had a lot of work to do, but one good thing had come out of this. I was certain that Anais was, in fact, Simone. She was found.