Nethania

I FINALLY stepped my foot on the gray pavement when I got out of the car. I've never ridden in a luxurious car before. I wiped my sweat, which was about to drop from my forehead, with my sweaty hands. The sun's heat was scorching even though it was still early in the morning. I tucked my loose hair behind my ear and closed the door behind me. How lucky I am to be back in this hellhole school, lifting up the opulent and bringing down the destitute. This school was known for its prestigious caliber and impressive academic performance. All students were competitive and had brains that bled excellence that met their high expectations. And I was sure that I didn't belong here. I had known within myself that I wasn't fit in this institution. It was like I had no right to step my foot, my lowly self, even on the school's premises. Were you wondering why I was telling you that I didn't belong here, yet I was here, in someone's car? It was ironic, wasn't it? Well, you heard it right. I didn't belong here, yet here I am! One of the students of this prestigious Alviana Academy. Yes, an academy, no college and elementary departments. They only offer Junior High School and Senior High School education. And I, the lucky one, reached Senior High just by doing some 'services' for someone else. I was a so-called 'working student', a diligent and loyal student who became the people's apple of the eye and became famous for giving services for free and being their maid! "Are you done cleaning my car?" A shrill voice of a woman hit my ears. I flinched and moved to face her in a second. This woman was so hotheaded and everyone on this campus knew about her being fiery. "I am a-about to finish my work, ma'am," I stammered, lowering my head and standing still, aiming not to make any move that could make her furious at me. "Good heavens!" She stamped her foot and rolled her eyes while her arms were folded across her chest. "I only gave you fifteen minutes to do that simple work and you haven't finished it yet? You know I have business to attend to!" I kept silent. I knew that she was lying. She asked me to clean her car five minutes ago, so I gave all my effort to finish the work in less than five minutes. "You're a useless child! You couldn't even handle simple work! Now get out of my way! I'm in a hurry!" She pushed me so hard on my shoulder, making me lose my balance and a loud thud was heard after I fell on my back. I clenched my fist while holding a dirty cloth that I used to clean her car earlier. I wasn't able to attend my morning class because she asked me to do her so-called 'simple work'. I stared at her car with teary eyes until it was totally gone from the scope of my view. "Look! That's Nethania, right? Look how pity she is!" "Maybe she failed again and someone shooed her away like a petty dog." I bowed my head when I heard their brassy laughter. Then other students who had witnessed my situation also laughed at me, like I was a clown who was making an entertainment for them to be laughed off! I felt a warm liquid that was brimming in my eyes and it dropped without me knowing it. And I simply realized that I was already crying while sitting on the cold, hard pavement. I slowly covered my ears with my hand when they started throwing rubbish phrases and words at me. I said to myself, "Even though how many pints of tears I may have produced in just one cry, no one would ever help me nor offer their hand to lift me out of this mess that I was in. No one could help me but myself only, no one could give me hope but myself only, and no one could save me but myself only." I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and helped myself to stand up. My head hung low when I departed the parking lot and traipsed my way down to the main building. I could still hear their mocking laughter and rude comments. I could barely lift my feet and was likely to call for the earth to swallow my whole existence. But I was already used to it. In my long years of being here because of an act that I didn't do, I was already filled up with their useless yammerings about me. I was cursed, if I may say. Brutally cursed. This place never gave me a life that an ordinary student had experienced. I was never a student here, but a prisoner. This uniform? It was just a costume to hide my true role in this place. This location? It was just my area to pay for my 'hideous deed' that they said I did. I threw the dirty clothes straight into the trash bin. "I won't need it anymore," I said. My feet brought me straight to the restroom. But I couldn't enter because I wasn't free to go inside. I waited for the other students to leave the stinky building before proceeding inside. "I guess no one is here," I muttered as I stepped onto the white tile inside the room. I checked all the cubicles merely to make sure that I was the only one using the restroom. When I was satisfied with confirming that I was the only one here, I entered the cubicle in the last row and closed the door. I jolted when I heard the door sounded like it was locked from the outside. I immediately fixed myself up and tried to open the door, but to no avail. I grabbed the handle and tried to twist the knob again, but it wouldn't open! I began pushing the door while twisting the knob forcefully while my hands were trembling and my knees became like jelly. My heart began to race and pound hard. I could barely breathe. Then the lights began to flicker uncontrollably. I was still trying to push the door but it wouldn't bulge! My eyes widened as I was panting with fear. The lights totally went out. That brought me chills down my spine. I could hear my heart beating so fast and it could nearly bulge out of my ribs! A pitch black view was revealed before my eyes. I couldn't see anything, I was only staring at the void, blank space before me. I groped my hand around, touching every corner to give me clues about where I was standing. But unfortunately, I was still here inside the cubicle. Alone and trembling. This wasn't the first time it happened to me. But every time they pulled a prank, I wasn't even convinced that it was just a prank or a serious deed because of their hatred towards me. It could make me shiver and be afraid. Out of the blue, an idea popped into my head. There was a space between the cubicle's partition and the floor. If I wasn't mistaken, it measured one foot in between. With legs like jellies, I slowly crouched down and rested my chest on the cold tile and began to move like a worm through the space beneath the cubicle. I pushed myself hard and, with the help of my hands, I successfully gained myself from the closed cubicle. I warily stood up, with my hands groping around the void. I touched the wall and began to walk cautiously towards the switch. I knew where it was. Oftentimes, I was asked to clean the restroom, so it wasn't that hard for me to find the switch. I turned on the switch. I gasped while putting my hand on my chest when the clear mirror showed me words that were intended for me. My heart constricted. Of all the rubbish and mocking words they could throw at me, this one was the cruelest of them all! I've never thought that someone might wish to make this happen.... Perhaps except for that certain person who always wishes my death. Die, Nethania. Those words were scribbled using a red marker on the mirror. I shouldn't be afraid, should I? I couldn't recall any of my actions that made them push me to wish my death! I shook my head. They couldn't be that serious! I simply perceive that it was just a prank, but if it wasn't, then I won't let them kill me. I skedaddled out of the restroom and went straight on my way. "Hey, Thania!" a deep voice reached my ears. It was Jon, the janitor, who was a notorious p*****t in this place. I halted then turned my head at his spot. I stared at him with my dull eyes. "What?" "Come here, I'll show you something," he said, smiling, moving his hand up and down at me. I wanted to run, but no one could help me if I did. I tried many times to run away from this p*****t, but I always ended up with him, touching my ass. I lifted my feet and walked towards him. His stare was piercing deep down into my body as his eyes switched back and forth on my private parts. I felt pity for myself. You know why? Because I let someone do some bad things to me. Even though I was already filled up, I couldn't make a move, I couldn't oppose it because if I did, it would be my end. His smile turned into an evil grin. I closed my eyes and heaved a deep sigh of annoyance when he slammed his hand onto my back. I wanted to punch him, I wanted to cut his hand for doing this to me. He didn't have any right to do this to me even though 'they were asked' to do this coarse action. "What do you want, Mr. Jon?" I spoke politely, staring below. "Can you get me a hot porridge at the cafeteria, dear?" He replied, grinning from ear to ear. I again closed my eyes, restraining my temper from taking violent actions against him. He wasn't satisfied with a touch, yet he caressed my back and I was slowly losing my mind! He was crazy! Insane! "Okay, okay, Mr. Jon. I'll get some for you," I muttered, grabbing his hand from my back part and putting it down. "Just don't do that again, okay?" I had the courage to say that to him. "Why? You didn't like it? You want more intense, dear?" He spoke, making me shiver. I looked at his eyes and he was looking at me aggressively, like he was a fierce lion ready to swallow its meal! I took a step backward as he walked closer to me. "Is there any problem, dear?" I turned my back on him and ran as fast as I could. I need to get out of here. I didn't know what he could do to me if I stayed there for any longer. I ran fast along the corridor, passing some other students who were walking by. "Ugh.." I silently groaned when I fell on my chest, making a deep thud on the floor. I felt my chest begin to crash in pain, a stinging pain that made me bite my lower lip and close my eyes. I was gently massaging my chest as I tardily picked myself up and panted heavily. "That was a nice move, Milton," one student behind me exclaimed, and everyone laughed. That Milton blocked my foot with his foot. That made me trip over and fall on the floor. I started to walk slowly. My chest was still hurting and stinging. Unconsciously, a tear rolled down my cheeks. I'm always experiencing these kinds of mistreatments, so I should've become a cold stone now, unable to feel and emotionless, but I always do the opposite. My tears always stream down my cheeks and my heart is always crashing whenever they do these things to me. I wiped my tears with my shaking hand. Before I could step into the cafeteria, I fixed my hair, making it clean and kempt. My hands were desperately straightening my uniform from creases. I entered and went straight to the counter. I had a hard time ordering because the crew oftentimes ignored me when they saw me standing behind the counter. "Oh, Nethania! What brought you here?" My lips curved into a smile when I heard the gentle voice of a woman, my one and only ally in this hellhole place. "I w-would like to have a cup of porridge please," I mannerly asked, with a low tone of voice. "One cup of porridge right away!" She beamed and that made me relax for a couple of minutes. I was lucky to have Miss Nichole as my companion even though we weren't that close together. She had mercy on me. She was compassionate with me. She also once saved me from the violence of a staff member who tried to choke me to death, and because of that, she was suspended for three days. I felt so sad at that time, knowing that it was because of me. Her suspension gave me more difficulty and struggling whenever I came into the cafeteria. Were you wondering where I got my food for three meals? Thanks to Ms. Nichole, she would give me leftovers secretly at the back of the cafeteria, hiding from the other crew just to give me a bite. "Here you go, Thania. Wait, are you okay?" Her smile turned into a worried look. Her eyes spilled pity and her expression became sad. I nod with a cheerful smile. "Of course, Miss! Who wouldn't be happy if you were the one serving the customers?" I kept up with the smile and that made her smile a bit and nod at me. "Okay, Thania. You said so. But if you need something, I'm only one call away," she said, winking at me. I smiled and took the cup off the countertop carefully. It was filled with freshly cooked porridge. I could even smell its delicious fragrance that could make me drool at any minute. I was walking cautiously, avoiding students that I could bump into. If ever I mess up with one of these rich kids, then I'll be waving goodbye to the earth. I glanced at the porridge but unfortunately, I bumped into a lady and my cup spilled over her handbag. I was lucky that the cup didn't fall to the ground and only half of it spilled over. I surveyed the lady from her shoes and slowly gazed upwards until our eyes met. I gasped when I recognized who she was. The lady whom I shouldn't mess with. "Look what she did to your authentic limited edition bag. It is so gross and yucky!" The girl beside her exclaimed in a shrill voice. I couldn't even recognize her natural face because of the makeup that was covering her face. Thick lipstick, vivid eyebrow color, and evident red blush, as if she was starring as a clown in a circus! "I'm giving Nathalie permission to daub her as the most clumsy b*tch in town!" The lady requested. That Nathalie took the cup away from my grip rudely. I bowed down and kneeled in front of them. I knew what she was about to do and I couldn't bear it anymore! This is too much! "Please, my lady! Spare me! I didn't mean to do it!" My voice cracked as I pleaded. My eyes began to brim with warm water and quickly streamed down my cheeks. "Recall what you did to my friend. You made her miserable. Because of what you did, you'll suffer at our hands!" I didn't mean to make her life miserable, because I never did! I felt a stinging sensation as if my skin was burning slowly. I just realized that she poured the porridge over my head leisurely. It was slowly rolling down on my cheeks, burning every inch of my skin. I tried to wipe it off, but my hands were held together to restrain me from doing it. I squirmed and tried to escape from their grip, but I didn't have any strength to overpower them. "You deserve that b*tch! Insignicant w***e!" Bullies I was an inferior, so lower than a janitor. This is my school and I shamefully present it to you! I was still kneeling before them. My tears were rolling down along with the porridge on my cheeks. The stinging increased and, at the same time, my heart squeezed. I could endure all of this pain as long as I could make it to graduation. And to pay for what I wasn't supposed to pay. "That's not enough, Nathalie." "That isn't enough yet, but I'll make her feel this!" "Ahhh!" She stabbed me with a sign pen on my right shoulder. I screamed but no voice came out of my mouth. It was inaudible. I could only hear it in my head. I felt voiceless and weak. I just opened my mouth and cried. Painful, scalding, and cruel. She stabbed me again in the same part. I could even kiss the ground because of the scorching pain and weakness. "Is it enough, isn't it?" "Her life is not that much more worthwhile than your bag." "Maybe another stab or two?" They knew nothing but to hurt someone who was weak and inferior. How lucky I was to be with these demons! "I can't endure this anymore! I'm done!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and quickly picked myself up after I gained a little strength. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know where to hide. All I knew was that my feet was carrying me to nowhere. It was like I was losing myself at any minute! I'm done. My wound was still bleeding. The blood stained my hand as I pressed it harder onto my wound to suppress the bleeding. Clinic? Useless. As I got nearer, I viewed the abandoned room where I spent my days and nights crying and suffering from the things that they did to me. This was my hiding place and a safe haven. It had witnessed all my long sufferings and misfortunes. And now they will see the act that everyone has wished for. The thing that should have been done before. I'll be gone for a while. And be back just for them. Solely for them.