The One For Me

Past Comes By

Chapter 2

Scarletts POV 

As i took in that sight that was being held in the kitchen when i went home i was actually raging mad someone that left me alone and left me raising our kids alone just deciding to make an appearance just for a short time  almost a year had passed and i bet it's just to ask if i can let me borrow some money because he just doesn't seem to hold himself together for the life of him but he choose to act like an immature child while leaving me to have all the responsibility on my shoulders and i just couldn't forgive that  nor forget it. I know its childish to blame someone for your outcome but i just couldnt blame myself because then i would feel stupid and i wasnt ready for that. I just ignored him and acted like he wasn’t there and continued  to kiss my babies and talk to them and he got upset and said ” Can we talk please? ” and i just kept my distance and ignoring him and slipped by and spoke to the babysitter about the matter. I told her that in the future if anyone was asking to speak to my children she had to call me 1st and then i would let them or i wouldn't let them. She nodded and finally said in a scared tone “ I'm sorry i didn't mean to but the kids just rushed to him screaming Daddy i just don't have the heart to drag them away you should have seen their eyes light up” and she sighed but then she looked up and said “ But i should given that i don't know anything about you or your past im sorry” i just nodded and led her to the door by grabbing her shoulders and just took her money out of my back pocket and handed it to her and  she immediately smiled and left all but running while shouting Thanks momma bear and smirked. I couldn't help but remember the moment when i hired her and i all but told her “If you touch my babies in any indecent way or hurt my babies physically,mentally or verbally abuse them i will kill you and you won't see it coming do i make myself clear” in a mean type of voice and she all but smirked and said “Yes momma bear” and i laughed. What nice memories we have had. It's been one year since then and I don't regret my choice thankfully.  I internally sigh and get to the matter at hand. As i'm going into the kitchen i hear him telling the kids “I'm going to do my best in explaining to mommy that i want to come back home so we can be a family again ok kiddos” i just groan and despite i already know i'm going to look like the bad one i have to stand my ground I Go in and say “ I don't appreciate you telling Maddy nor Jake that you will be coming back or trying to talk to me about the matter when you have been the one absent” I catch myself and bend down and ask both of my babies to go their rooms and play so i can talk to daddy and they gave smiles that would warm anyone's heart and ran to their rooms. I turned to him and all but glarred daggers at him and said “ How the f**k do you come here after a year and just tell my kids You want to talk to their mom and ask to come back knowing i would like the bad one for turning down the idea of having their dad back in their lives how dare you i***t” I was fuming because of the anger i was holding in. He looks at me and smirks like he knew he hit a nerve and he all but thought he had me where he wanted me but little did he know i don't want anything to do with him and i'm strong to let him go because i know my value he left not me i was left to pick up the pieces by myself and i had silently cried myself to sleep for majority of the first six months because i had to adjust and make it so that my babies didn't see me this way and now he wants me to just take him back i can't believe this guy i just held my head high and told him “ after all this time of you doing you and me doing what i have to do so my kids have everything they want and need and you have the audacity to come here and tell me something as sensitive like this my answer is no absolutely not so now that you have your answer you can leave” he just stood there dumbfounded and it's like i saw him come out of his stricken state and all but tried to make me see it his way by grabbing ahold of my arms and saying “ I need you i love you please” and i just respond “ You should have realized that piece of information before you left because i have moved on and no longer want you to be apart of my life” I turned and left the kitchen with him hot on my heels and little did he know that exactly what i wanted so as i'm walking to the door he halts and says “please Scarlett i have nowhere to sleep or go i will be out on the streets” i sigh and look at him and say “ I am so sorry you are going through this but i have to look out  for me now you have put me through some horrible things while being together the cheating and the lies are too much now that i have some piece of mind i would like to stay like this so the only help i can offer is calling shelters so you can have somewhere to sleep instead of the streets” . He got so mad he stormed out of the house and said “ You will regret this so much i promise that “. I internally signed but I told myself I would get over this. I locked the door and slid down the door to a sitting position and just cried to myself as to not let a sound because I didn't want my babies to be alerted of the immense pain that I was feeling. It has been a year yet he knew exactly what to say and do to get under my skin so i can feel like s**t. I straightened my back and realized this is the same thing i was trying to avoid and never feel again but it must come to an end someway somehow and i won't back down seeing as i came this far and i'm extremely happy for it so if this is what i have to endure so be it. I just stood  there for a couple of minutes more before getting up and going into maddy’s room and telling her “ Hi mommas girl how was your day i hope it was very good” and smiled to her and it kind of broke my heart when she started to look around and as if on cue she asked” mommy where's daddy did he leave again? Does he not love us momma” I felt this pain resurface and i was at a lost for words and the only thing i could do was pick her up and hold her while she cried and then it hit me like a ton of bricks that i was the cause of her pain and i felt really bad but i then put her down and said “ baby girl you know mommy loves you and i'm here for you and yes daddy left but because mommy told him to and just know that he does love you and jake very much but  mommy and daddy are friends only and you will see him again if he so decides that but mommy will always be here for you no matter what i will never leave okk” and she just cried and put her face in the crook of my neck and said “ I love you mommy i am not mad at you im just sad for daddy” i all but scooped her back up and gave her a lot of kisses on her forehead and cheeks. I said “ ok honey it's time for you to go to sleep and we will have a great time out tomorrow since i don't work she started jumping up and down and quickly rushed to me and gave me the biggest hug and ran back to her bed and said “ goodnight mommy” i just nodded and said “ goodnight baby” and turned the light off and cracked her door so she won't be scared or if she has to use the bathroom at night, anywho i just went to jakes room and said “ hey little man how are you? you had fun today? He looked at me and didn't respond right away and after a moment of silence just said “yea it was ok i'm kind of busy so can you leave me alone” i looked over to him and was just baffled because he has never spoken to me so i just took a seat on his bed and said “ is there anything you want to say to me”? Truth be told i was nervous for his response because it's not everyday you see your dad and don't get to spend much time with him but he was just to young to understand i mean how do you tell a 9yr old little boy that daddy and mommy will never live under the same roof again. He looked at me and said “ No but im tired” so i just simply got up and left his room turning off the light on my way out.