Euphoria

CHAPTER 9

*FINN'S POV*

Three weeks. Three f*****g weeks. It’s been three weeks since I last saw Tinsley. Three f*****g shitting weeks. It’s slowly driving me insane. I’ve called, texted, and sent her at least ten voicemails but I haven’t gotten any messages back. Nothing. I’ve even considered going over to her house but the warning Jax gave me was still fresh in my mind.

I saw him about 10 days ago and he was in the media center, alone, texting frantically to someone when I approached him. He barely glanced at me but after a while he said, “Stay away from Tinsley.” His expression was dead serious, something you rarely saw in Jax. What surprised me the most were the dark bags under his eyes and his shallow cheekbones. He looked as if he hadn't been sleeping at all.

He gave a glare and then left me sitting at the table, surprised and frozen. That was the last time I saw him. He never showed up to sixth period, lunch, or school at all.

His disappearance made me very suspicious about Tinsley's disappearance.

Now I sat in front of the school, watching all the students go about their day, oblivious to the fact that I was suffering. I turned around slightly so I could see Tinsley’s friends. They kept to themselves, unlike the cheerleaders in the school, who went around trying to get under everyone’s skins.

During the first week of Tinsley’s disappearance, all of her friends looked terrible but after the second week, they seemed to be going back to normal.

I tried cornering one of them and getting information out of her but all she did was sneer at me and then said, “Maybe you shouldn't have done what you did.” I had released her in disgust and stumbled away from her, but not far enough because I could still hear her last words.

“You're a terrible guy, Finn. Maybe you could've been there when she really needed you.” Then she gave me a heated glare and left. Surprised, I had stared after her, frozen in place. How could she and her friends believe I was that kind of guy? I was horrified and extremely frustrated.

I turned back around now, and continued watching the moms and the dads sending their kids into the school, smiling and waving happily. I rubbed my tired eyes and tried to push away the rising memory of my sister and I’s encounter in the bathroom a few days ago.

I had tried to ask her if she knew where Tinsley was and she had said, “Finn. If she wanted to respond to your 50 texts, 10 voicemails, and god knows how many calls, she would’ve. Just leave her be.” I had stared at her and repeated my question.

But my sister brushed past me and softly said, “I know you're confused, even a little hurt, but Finn.” At the mention of my name, I looked up at her. “She’ll be back. Trust me.” Then my sister walked out, leaving me and my stupid brain to puzzle out what the heck she was talking about.

My tired eyes threatened to shut down on me now and I pried them open huffing out a breath. There was absolutely nothing I could do except wait.

****

I got home and immediately headed up the stairs to my room, not bothering to say hi to my mom or dad. It wasn't like they gave a f**k about what I did these days anyway.

I collapsed on my bed and let out an exasperated sigh. I was so so tired.

Pulling out my phone, I started scrolling through my feed on i********:. Homework could wait. As I refreshed my feed, my heart lurched. There, at the top, was a brand new story from...Tinsley.

I tapped it and stared at the two paragraphs she had posted. I don’t know how long I lied there staring up at my phone unmoving, rereading the same two paragraphs Tinsley had written.

“Before you attack me, I did not, as a matter of fact, have s*x with Finn. When I heard the rumors, I was not only disgusted but horrified as well. Finn is my friend and I can't believe someone would make up such disgusting rumors regarding what happened between us. These rumors just show how immature and ignorant some of you are. Finn is a friend and to have someone target our relationship is disgusting and vile. I sincerely hope this immaturity will end once I return to school. I love you guys, thank you for looking out for me. xx”

I don’t know how long I stared at the words. They were burned in my mind, there forever.

I rubbed my sore eyes and let out a sigh. What do I do now? I opened my messages and stared at Tinsley's name, debating whether I should text her. She sounded like she was okay again, but my sister and Jax's warnings were still fresh in my head.

"Stay away from Tinsley." "Give her time." "You're a terrible guy, Finn." I rubbed my face with the palm of my hand and groaned in frustration. After a few more moments of quietly staring at her name in my messages, I finally opened the chat and started typing.

"I'm here. If you want to talk." It was simple. Super simple but I wanted, no needed her to know that I was here. Here for her. After waiting a few more minutes, I saw the little green dot next to her name appear and then she started typing.

I sucked in a sharp breath and held it there, bracing myself for her next words.

When she finally sent her message, I stared at the words in silence. Thank you. They were simple, conversation-stopping words. I literally could not think of something to continue the conversation. Even though her words physically said thank you, emotionally, I didn't feel it.

I scrolled through our old conversations and it felt like we had switched personalities. Her messages used to always contain bright emotions and exclamation points, but this time, it was a simple thank you. No emojis, no exclamation points. Nothing.

Deep down, I knew I was probably making a big deal out of something that probably wasn't even that big of a deal, but after not seeing or even hearing from Tinsley for three weeks, something as small as this was getting a huge rise out of me.

I sent a heart emoji to her and then buried my face deep into the pillow next to my head. Oh pillow. You're the only comfort I have.