All Wrong

Chapter Twelve Thursday

Henry

I sit in my bed head in my hands. I can’t believe I almost told Sydney that story. I haven’t spoken about it to anyone in four years and suddenly she’s crying and shaking and I almost blurt it out.

I could have told her. I could have trusted her. But the pain that’s buried I can’t bear again.

What the hell was she trying to do to herself going into that room anyway? Is she nuts? It’s just a room in a house she said. But that’s not how she acted at all.

She was shaking and her voice was barely audible when I found her. I heard her in the hallway but I wasn’t sure what she was doing. She could have been sleep walking for all I knew. She used to when we were younger. It was funny. There was nothing funny about this. She looked broken.

I wanted to punch something when I found her. And I’m suddenly glad that I wasn’t near her that night because I would have done something that I wouldn’t regret. She got through it alone and that stings still that she dropped everyone for all that time. Like she didn’t think the rest of us were turstworthy. Grace didn’t help that defending Bryce any chance she got. But it’s more. I felt pain when I saw her in there. I turned the light off after she went to bed. I really should have Grace go in there and clean it up. Maybe then it’ll seem like just a room.

My phone dings scaring me. I pick it up and see Sydney sent me a friend request. I accept it and put my phone back down.

Maybe I am making headway here. Unintentional tonight however it still counts. My chest hurts from the flurry of emotions that I have. Bryce and I used to be friends. Before he did what he did. Now I’d like nothing more then to put him in his place. Just once. That’s all it would take. That night after what he did to syd I almost did. But gabby stopped me. She was drunk and crying and pleading. And I listened. Because it took me back to freshman year.

Mark my words I will teach him a lesson though. And I hope someone gives me a reason to this weekend. Not to ruin the party but because all these emotions are fighting to get out and what better way then the d**k that started it all?

I lay down and stare at my ceiling. Now if I fall asleep I’ll wake the girls with my nightmares that come every time I think of that day. I sigh covering up and turning my tv on. I flip through channels until I find racing. Finally a little after four am I drift off to sleep once I’ve calmed myself down enough to not dream of it tonight.