What I Crave

Saving Face

Leonia

I had been laying in bed when I received the phone call. It was about 3:45 in the morning. My husband told me he'd be going out with a client for drinks and that'd he would be back before the morning. It was a dark night, the moon was shining brightly against my window pouring light into my room. I sat up in the bed and turned on the light. Sliding out of the bed, I walked to the kitchen and grabbed me a bottle of wine.

No need for the cup.

Popping the cork, I took a long swig as the liquor burned my throat. I heard my phone buzzing upstairs on my bed so I hurriedly made my way back to my room. Grabbing my phone I saw that it was Mike. Looking at the date, I remembered what was supposed to be going down. Gulping, I answered the phone.

"Hello?" I said, trying to pretend I had just woken up. I heard coughing and groaning before he began to talk.

"I don't know what happened," he said in between breaths, "this location was supposed to be secluded. We had the best security." He coughed again and I heard him spit. "I'm sorry darling...we did damage but someone came and took the girls."

My body froze.

Somebody actually rescued those whores?!

I was seething with anger. I hung up and ran towards my closet and began to pack a bag. I threw whatever I could find inside my bags and raided the age underneath the bed. I took my passport and all the money inside of it before making my way to my car. I practically threw my bags in the trunk and sped out of my driveway. I screamed in frustration.

Fuck! Who could've done this?!

My mind kept coming up with blanks. The plan was supposed to have been flawless. I had given out specific details and directions.

Who could've f****d this up?!

I didn't have time to be pondering about what went wrong. I had to get out of dodge ASAP. Continuing my drive I realized I had no specific destination.

Who could I go to in a time like this? 

After everything I've done.. will she really help me...? No. But his father would.

I dialed a phone number I had promised to never call, no matter what happened. But, I was all out of options and all out of love. This plan may have completely f****d yo my future but it f****d hers up too. She'll never have kids after what they did to her. I made sure of it. Her friend wasn't as beaten up as her but Donny would get the point.

They all would get the point.

The phone rang a couple of times before a woman picked up, "Mr. Henry's office how may I help you?" she said in a light airy tone.

"Hi, yes this Mr. Henry's daughter-in-law, can you transfer me over to him please? It's an emergency." I said trying to sound inpatient.

She must've gotten the message because the phone went silent for a minute. After another thirty seconds, I could hear the other line pick up.

"Leonia...dear is that you?" I heard a deep voice say into the phone. "What's going on dear? What did my son do to you?" he asked

I began to sob and he instructed me to drive to his Southern California residence.

"I'll wait for you there my dear. Please hurry."

He'd understand what was going on. He'd help me. I knew he would. He doesn't even love Ivan. I know I can get him to help me.

Ivan

I watched as Z interrogated the one they call "Trill", he was a frail thing with a lot of tattoos and money. Adonis went on a rampage as he tore through the basement fighting anyone he saw. The destruction he left behind was worse than the messes I made in college. I followed closely behind him as he punched and kicked men out of his way. I engaged in a fight of my own as a woman tried to knee me in my groin. Wrapping my arm around her neck, I applied a small amount of pressure until her body went limp in my arms. A man tried to rush me and I lurched forward with my pocket knife slicing his neck. He fell to his knees in a state of shock as his hands went to cover his neck. Adonis was on top of someone else choking them. Seconds later, I heard the deafening crack as the mans head fell limp to the side. Adonis stood up and continued to walk through the basement. He came upon a door and I pushed past him to get it open. It had a lock code in it. I cursed underneath my breath. I turned to go back upstairs but I heard a loud crackle and I turned to see Adonis hitting the keypad with his bare fists. I tried to stop him but kept hitting the keypad until it broke and turned off. The door automatically popped open. The smell was horrendous, it smelled like pigs had been living in here. We walked through looked under nearby blankets and crates but there was no sign of the girls.

"Diablo! Donny! Get up here!" He shouted at us.

We came rushing back up the stairs at the urgency in his voice. He looked over the balcony at us, "Come to the guest bedroom bathroom!"

Running ahead of Adonis, I took the stairs by twos as I ran up them. Once I made it to the top I doubled my speed to get to the guest bedroom first.

Z was holding Nova & Envy in his arms. They looked so different than before. Nova's skin is so pale now for her to be caramel colored. Her lips are chapped and bloody. She has gashes all over her arms and legs. Dried up blood between her legs. Her feet were cut up on her heels so she couldn't walk. She had bruises on her neck the size of my fist. Seeing her like this made me shake with anger. But I wanted to make sure she was okay.

Z rocked back and forth like a father would to two babies as I got closer.

"Are they breathing?" I asked.

Z nodded, staying silent I'm assuming because he didn't want to wake the girls. Adonis was standing in the hallway of the room watching. I waved him in but he just shook his head and walked away. I followed him as Z quietly continued to tend to the girls. "I've got them. You get him. She needs him."

I followed Adonis back down to the basement as he began to clean up his mess.

"It's all my fault man." He cried out. "If I hadn't...If I hadn't rejected her like that she wouldn't even be here. If i would've just told her I felt the same way..." he said while punching a hole in the wall. I can't say I'm exactly shocked to be hearing that he loves Envy. I could tell by the way he looks at her, he doesn't look at Stephy that way.

"What about Stephy?" I asked him cupping his shoulder.

He shrugged me off and said, "f**k Stephy. The only one who matters now is Envy." After a few minutes of quiet silence he slowly began to clean up the bodies and the blood. We had to get this mansion clean of all our prints before we left. After an hour of bleaching and dumping bodies, we finally got everything back to the way it was before we got here. Z took the girls in a separate car to begin the drive to the safe house he would be putting us in.

I pulled out my phone and dialed home but it went to voicemail. Sighing, I called my secretary and told her to let Leonia know I would be going out of town for a couple of weeks. Before me and Adonis left the mansion we had one more person to handle. Walking back downstairs, there was another body we hadn't did anything to yet. Pulling out his wallet, his I.D. read: Michael Young.

Young...you know that last name.

I couldn't remember where I had heard this last name before. Grabbing him by his collar, I could hear groaning coming from him.

"This one is still alive." I said to Adonis who was looking through a phone that was on the floor. Looking at me he said, "He made a call about 5 minutes ago, to an unknown number."

I looked at the man I was holding up, he was had to be in his late 30's. He was about the same height as me, but he was stockier. Throwing him into the chair, I smack him him until he wakes up.

"Fuck..." he sputtered as he spit out blood. "Who are you? What do you want?"

I pulled a gun out of my back pocket, c****d it and put it to his cranium.

"You have about 5 seconds to tell me who hired you to do this." I said pulling my mask off of my face.

He began to laugh, "Oh it's just you. Well, if you don't know now that means the plan isn't over yet.

He continued to laugh and the more I asked who he was talking about the more unbearable his laughter became.

I can't take it anymore....

My hands started to feel numb as I dropped the gun and began to punch him in his face. A sickening gush sounded off through the room as my fist made contact with his nose. Red sprayed all over my knuckles. Adonis shouted my name but I couldn't hear him anymore. I pulled a knife from my ankle and plunged it into his leg, slowly dragging it up his skin as he screamed out in agony. Standing up, I looked down at him. He was trying to cover his body up but I wasn't ready for him to die. I picked him from the ground and tossed him across the room. Going to pick him up, I head butted him and his head flew back. I grabbed him by his neck and began to choke him. The darkness had taken over me. The only thing I was focused on was knocking the lights out his eyes for what he had done.

He deserves it.

I could hear Adonis telling my name telling me to let go. But I couldn't let go after this.

The monster needs to be fed.

My hands tightened around his throat as his face began to turn purple. I could see the fear pooling in his eyes as the tears fell from them. He kept trying to gasp for air but he knew it was pointless. I was going to kill him. He stopped fighting after while but I kept choking him until I felt his throat crush from the pressure of my hands. I finally let his body drop to the ground and I turned to look at Adonis. He was staring at me like he had that night 3 years ago.

"What?! What the f**k are you looking at?! You saw what they did to them!" My body began to shake, I had to hit something. Anything. I set my sights on a mirror and before punching I glanced at my reflection. I could see my eyes were wild with rage. I could feel the fire burning. Balling my fist up, I aimed straight for the mirror. It shattered. Adonis cupped my shoulder.

"Stop, Ivan. You aren't Diablo anymore." He said squeezing my shoulder firmly.

Turning to face him, in a voice I didn't recognize as my own I asked him, "Are you sure?"

Nova

The clouds above the field began to turn gray as it got darker. The woman looked at me, "You must make a choice now love." She cupped cheek with her hand brushing the tears away.

I want the pain to stop. 

I don't want to be alone anymore. 

But...

Ivan makes me happy...wife or not...he makes me happy. 

Envy & Adonis would be upset if I decided to leave them behind like this.

I looked at her and shook my head. The darkness lifted and she stood up. Holding out her hand she said, "Then it's time I take you back. It's time for you to go home." I stood up and took her hand as she lead me to the end of the field towards a bright light. Once we got close to it, she let go of my hand.

"I can't follow you back," she started, "but, just know my Nova that I'll always love you and I'll be waiting for you to come home." She pulled me into her arms and hugged tightly. She kissed my hair and let me go.

"I'll be waiting my daughter."

I woke up and instantly felt the pain that was waiting for me when I opened my eyes. I could barely move my head or my arms. After laying there for what felt like forever, I tried to lift myself up. I was only able to lift my head up off my pillow and next to me was Envy. She was sleeping peacefully curled up underneath the blanket. Across the room laying on the couch was a large man with a big scar on his face. He was asleep and I had no clue where I was and I was in pain. Before I could try to get his attention, Envy turned over and opened her eyes. When she looked at me, the filled with tears. I reached forward to try to wipe them away and that's when I seen the cuts that covered my right arm. Looking at my left arm I saw burns and scabs trying to heal from infection. My yoni was feeling sore and I could feel bruises forming underneath my skin on my thighs. Envy called for the man laying on the couch and he jumped up to look over me.

"Well look at you beauty. Let me look at you." He gently lifted my head up and looked at some of the cuts on my neck. He walked to a bag and pulled out what looked like a first aid kit. He sat on the bed and began to rub ointment on my wounds. The pain subsided for the time being. He pulled the blanket back and pushed my legs up. He gestures toward my yoni.

Shakily, I nodded. He pulled off my underwear and the pad that had been placed inside of it. He took it off and began to clean the blood off of me. Once he was finished he grabbed a remote and pushed a button. The bed started to sit up as a result of that. He pulled up a chair next to the bed and sat down next to me. Envy had curled up next to me, laying on my shoulder. The man grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes

"My dear, do you remember what happened to you?" He asked me.

I tried to think but my mind was coming up blank. I had the strangest feeling that something bad had happened but I couldn't remember what happened after I texted Trill. Slowly, I shook my head. I couldn't find my voice. I was at a loss for words.

Where am I? 

What's going on?

Why is Envy here?

He smiled sadly at me and rubbed his thumb across the top of my hand. When he was about to speak he stopped. Looking to my right, I could see Envy looking towards the door.

When I looked up my heart began to squeeze and my heart strings began to twist. Ivan & Adonis were staring back at me. Adonis looked at Envy but she kept her eyes down. I grabbed her hand and asked, "Envy....what happened to me?" I asked her starting to feel weird.

My body was in shambles and I couldn't remember what happened. She looked at me tears falling in streams down her face. When she began to talk it was extremely hard to keep up. I can and Adonis sat down on the other side of the room while she continued to tell me what happened. My blood ran cold once she told me where I was and what happened to me while I was there. She told me me they made her watch and she broke down. My heart was beating fast and loud. I could hear it between my ears. I looked around at Everton, but they were silent.

"...How long were we gone?" I asked her.

She sniffled and said, "A couple of days."

I shook my head, dazed.

I've just been told that I've been kidnapped and raped...yet I can't remember.

Envy tried to get up to go to the bathroom and Adonis rushes to help her. She tried to push him away but he wouldn't let her, so they both made their way to the bathroom. Ivan crosses the room and put his hand on the man's shoulder.

The man looked at me and said, "They call me Z. You can too." He looked at Ivan, "We got 3 hours until it's time to switch them to another house."

Ivan shook his head and said, "We're taking them back to the island. It'll be the safest place for them right now."

When he said that, images started to rush through my brain. I could see myself laying in a pool of my own blood and a man standing over me with his member out.

"Open up."

I began to scream. Ivan reached for me while Z went towards his bag to grab something out of it.

"Let me go! Get off of me!" I screamed at Ivan, "They hurt me! They hurt me..." my speech began to trail off as I felt a pinch in my arm. Z had stuck me with a syringe.

"It's just to help with your nerves. When you wake up again, we'll be on the island. I promise....I'll tell you everything." Ivan said.

Before I closed my eyes and drifted off, I felt a light kiss being placed on my forehead and then the lights went out.

Adonis

Envy hadn't looked at me since she'd woken up a couple of hours ago. When she seen me, the first thing she did was ask for Nova. She didn't hug me. Or make any attempt to kiss me like she used to. She simply ran away from me. Looking at her now, she looks broken. More than before. She had just watched her best friend almost lose her life. Nothing could be worse than that.

Walking her to the bathroom in silence was starting to piss me off.

I needs to say something.

Anything.

I looked down at her while she limped beside me trying to keep up. Every time she landed on her hurt foot she would wince. Sighing, I reached down to pick her up. She didn't try to fight me off this time, so I lifted her up with ease and made my way to the bathroom. I couldn't take the silence anymore so I looked down at her and said, "...Envy...I" but I was cut off. She placed her finger over my lips.

"Don't...Donny. Just..just don't."

Shaking my head, I looked in her eyes and said, "No. No, I need to say this. I am so...sorry for what I said the last time I seen you.... I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't handle my own emotions." I said trying to plead with her.

She didn't say anything. She stayed completely silent until we got to the bathroom. Sliding out of my arms, she walked inside of the bathroom and closed the door. I sat down outside of the door to wait for her.

1 hour later

CRASH!

I jumped up to the sound of glass breaking in the bathroom. I didn't hesitate to kick the door down. When I got inside, I looked around at the scene. The mirror was broken, it looked like someone had punched it. Going to the bathtub, I could see Envy sitting on the edge. She looked like she was trying to get glass out of her knuckles. I rushed over to helps, she tried to pull away but I grabbed her hand and began to inspect it. She had tiny shards of glass in her knuckles. I picked her up and put her to my chest. Walking back to the room I had been sleeping in, I placed her in the bed.

Looking around my room, I went to my the closet and pulled a shaving kit. Reaching inside, I pulled out some tweezers. I looked around for some other things I needed as well and I found some alcohol and band aids. I sat on the floor and grabbed her hand.

After pulling each shard of glass out of her knuckles one by one, I had finally finished. I took her to my bathroom and put her hand in the sink under some warm water before pouring alcohol on it. She winced and tried to pull away but I continued my work by wrapping her hand in a bandage. Once I finished, I sat down on the bed next to her. She didn't look at me or say anything to me. She just stared at her hands.

Touch her.

Suddenly, I didn't care about consequences. I didn't care about Stephy. I just cared about her. Envy. Her red hair fell over her face, hiding her from me. I reached for her and grabbed her hips. She looked at me with shock in her eyes and before she could do anything, I had pulled her into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my head into her chest. I could feel the tears before falling from eyes as I pulled her body closer to me.

"I thought I had lost you...I thought you were gone." I could barely recognize my own voice. Finding her all bloody and scratched up made my insides twist like no other. I couldn't lose her like that again. She froze and I kept talking, "I love you so much...so much. I'll leave Stephy. We can be together...I know you might trust me...but please...please don't leave me again."

My tears had soaked through the too big shirt she was wearing. After a few moments, I could feel placed her hands on my head. She began to rub my hair like she used to when we were kids. I sat up and got up to lay down. She followed behind me shortly after. She slid into the bed in front of me, careful not to look in my eyes. I reached for her and she scooted closer to me. She placed her hands on my shoulders and closed her eyes. I pulled her body closer to me. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to keep her safe.

I will keep her safe. From now until forever.

Kissing her on the forehead, I pulled a blanket over us and closed my eyes too.

I love you, Envy. I hope you love me too.

Leonia

I arrived at Ivan's father's residence at 4 in the afternoon. When I pulled into the driveway, he was waiting for me with a smile on his face. When Ingot out of the car, he rushed to hug me. As he wrapped his arms around me, I couldn't help but begin to cry. Everything began to pour out of me. We started walking back inside of his house. He led me through his lofty living room and into a beautiful pristine all white kitchen. He gestured for me to sit down and I did. He walked to a door and opened pulling out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Pouring some for the both of us he sat down.

"Now my dear, tell me what's going on? Why are you so sad?" He asked me.

I began to tell him everything. From the miscarriage to me finding about out about that w***e that Ivan had been seeing. His faces remained calm and never looked anywhere else but in my direction while I spoke. Mr. Henry was a firm man but that didn't mean he couldn't be kind. When I finally finished talking he simply said, "Well this can't do."

He got up and walked up the stairs. He came back 10 minutes later, holding a box. He sat it in front of me.

"Open it." He said with a clipped tone. I proceeded to pull the top off of the box. Inside of the box was paperwork and lots of it. I looked at Ivan's father with confusion clear on my face.

"What is this, Mr Henry?"

He placed his hands flat on the table and looked at me. "Your contract. Look at Section B."

Looking down at the contract I scanned the paper looking for Section B. When my eyes finally fell on it I began to read it aloud:

Section B states that in the matter of an affair, Ivan Henry, must produce the woman/man to his father, Eric Henry, for proper retribution. If Ivan Henry fails to do so, he shall be stripped of his name, his honor & his wife.

I looked at his father as he stared through glass table.

"Are you sure they've had s*x?" He asked me.

Now that I think about it, these had just been photos. These could've easily been old. Or he she could've been a friend of his.

Don't be a fool. Of course they've had s*x. They had to have done something.

While battling my thoughts, his father took the liberty of pouring me another drink.

"Don't worry about it sunflower." He said taking a sip from his cup. "Your father-in-law will help you sort this whole thing out."

He sat down on the couch near the fireplace, patting the seat next to him. I sat down beside him as he pulled his cellphone and made a phone call. After he finished, he looked at me with determination written all over his face.

"You mustn't worry. I have someone looking for my son and this woman you speak of. She'll escort them both to my home in China. We'll figure out the messiness of things later." He said, picking up his television remote. "Now, let's see what's on."

Envy

1 Week Later

I'm laying in bed, my body entangled in sheets and blankets. It's late and we've been on this island for a couple of days. Nova has been recovering this whole time, the only person she talks to is me. Sometimes, I hear her screams at night and I have to comfort her because she won't let Ivan do it. Or Donny. It's like she's revolted by being touched by a man.

"NOOOOO GET OFF OF ME!" I heard her shout loudly. Her screams bounced off of the walls as I slid out of my bed and ran down the hall to get to her. She was thrashing around violently and screaming. Ivan and Adonis weren't far behind me as they too came running into the room trying to calm her down. I tried to to soothe her by singing but she wasn't calming down. Her body was hot and she looked like she hadn't ate in days. I looked at Ivan pleading with him with my eyes.

Please help her.....

As if he read my mind, he nodded and calmly slid in the bed beside Nova. At first, she tried to fight him off. She kept trying to kick him and slap him but he just pulled her close to him as she continued to scream. He began to rock back and forth until she stopped hitting him. I could hear tiny sobs coming from her as she cling onto him. Her quiet sobs suddenly became loud ones and Donny sat down on the bed and hugged her too. We all sat with her until she went back to sleep and that wasn't an easy task. She wouldn't let Ivan go, so he decided to stay with her.

"I'll protect her, Envy. Get some sleep." He said as he covered her up with a blanket.

I got up to walk out of the room and I was stopped. I turned around and Adonis was standing outside the door. Looking up at him, I asked, "What do you want?"

He didn't say anything, he just stared at me. Before I could react, he was dragging me to his room. Once we were inside, he closed the door and locked it. I look at my hands. My knuckles were still sore from when I broke that mirror and I couldn't look in his eyes so I had to distract myself with something else. I wasn't aware that he had been standing in front of me, until he was standing in front of me. Grabbing my chin, he forced me to look in his eyes.

Like he did the night he took your innocence.

It's just another trap.

I tried to turn away but he wouldn't let me.

"Look at me." He said in deep, husky voice. I tried to snatch my head away but he kept me firmly in place.

"Get off Donny." I said trying to push him away, but he wouldn't let go of me. Finally, after tiring myself out from trying to get him off, I sat on the floor.

"Honestly, why can't you just leave me alone?" I asked him. "Now you want me? Now? After all the damage that was done? Have you seen Nova?" The tears began to fall before I could stop them. "Do you even care about us? At all? We're hurting...and now you want me?"

He sat in front of me, with tears in his eyes as well.

"Did you think I wanted to love you? I didn't want to....I didn't want to fall in love with my sister." He said looking at the floor. My heart was beating hard against my chest.

...he's in love with me..

I tried to get up and run out of the room but he caught me before I could escape.

"No! Donny stop it!" I screamed at him, but he just held me tighter. "Let me go!"

"Never..." he whispered in my ear softly. "I'll never let you go..I'll never let you go again.." he continued.

He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight against him, "I've loved you since I was old enough to put band aids on your knees. I've loved you all my life...I can't imagine my life without you by my side."

I tried to pull away again but my attempt was futile. He had cornered me. I couldn't get out of his bear hold and he wouldn't let me leave the room.

He...loves me....

I couldn't just believe him.

You love him too...

My body was fighting with my mind and my heart. My body was telling me turn around and to kiss him. But my heart was telling me that he loved me and my mind was trying to be logical. I didn't have time for logic.

He leaned down and placed his head on my shoulder and I shivered. I could feel him starting to place light kisses on my neck. I wanted to push him away but I couldn't find the strength to do it. He pulled down the straps to my tank top and kissed behind my neck, down to the middle of my back. He pushed my hair to the side and unhooked my bra, letting it fall to the floor. Instinctively, I covered myself up. He came around to face me and I ran towards the bed.

It's been years since he's seen me in this light and I don't know if he'll find me attractive right now. I hid under the blankets as he walked towards the bed. He tried to pull the covers back but I wrapped myself up like I was in a cocoon.

"You don't have to hide from me." He said, his voice getting closer and closer to my ear.

Before I knew it, he was underneath the blanket and pulling out. He put both of my hands above my head and then he kissed me. Like he was hungry for something. The more intense the kiss got, the more I could feel myself losing my grip. He let go of my hands so that I could touch him but I didn't know where to put my hands. His lips found their way down to my neck as he kissed me softly while holding my hand. His tongue started to beg for entry and when I opened my mouth he slid in with ease. Moaning, I sat up and began to straddle him. His fingertips began to trace my back slowly as I let myself become entangled in his kiss. We were interrupted suddenly because his phone rang.

Snapping out of his trance, he reached for his phone. I could see the contact name before he did and before he answered I was already putting my bra back on.

"Envy. Wait." He said quickly but I held up my hand.

"Just...don't." I said.

I shook my head. I wasn't sure what I had been thinking. Of course Stephy was always going to be around. I would have to find someone who would just love me. Nobody else. Just me.

I looked at him one last time before walking out of his room and back into mine. Laying in my bed that night, I didn't even cry.

I would always be the girl that everyone half loved. Or half liked. I would never be anyone's favorite. I would never be anyone's better half. I would never find who would make me whole. Because the person who made me whole, had found someone else & I would have to live with that.