Hot Mess

Hot Mess Mom I am going already. I ran out of the house like a bull because I am very nervous on my first day of school. My name is Ashley, I am eighteen years old and in my final year of high school. My school year is nothing to write home about. I am either invisible or just there. I never know if it is my glasses that put people off or my size, which I honestly do not care about, but I keep to myself. I am preparing for eye surgery soon and maybe I will finally get rid of these glasses. I wear contacts sometimes but I still need the glasses. I like going to school early because that is the only time I get my solitude before the bullies arrive. They disturb me every chance they get. They call me names like duff, designated ugly fat friend, or ugly duckling. I pretend it does not get to me but it does. This year I want things to be different, even if I have to fight through the mess to find myself. Chapter One I got to school and looked around for my bullies. They were nowhere to be found and for the first time that morning I felt a little peace of mind. I adjusted my glasses, sat down, brought out my headphones and my paperback. I just wanted a quiet moment before the madness started. I got so lost in the book that I did not even notice people filing into the class. Then someone kicked my chair hard. I stumbled and fell to the floor. Laughter filled the room. Look everyone, the ugly duckling is reading a romance novel, hoping it will save her miserable life. Their voices echoed around me. I did not know where the tears came from. They just did. My throat tightened and my hands shook. I grabbed my book, pushed myself up and ran out of the class before they could see me break any further.