Ara
For the rest of the day, I was plagued with guilt. There were so many things that I needed to do, I had goals coming into the house, and I basically ruined it, disappointing my father and my son, because of what? Lust? It felt so mundane, like a very terrible reason to mess up on something so important. I was disappointed in myself on so many levels. I enjoyed myself with Fabian thoroughly, so I would be a saint to not admit that, and I was anything but a saint, but this was a terrible thing to do. There was so much on the line, and I let it go for something so inconsequential. Just a few weeks ago, almost a month and a half, I came to Fabian's house hating his presence, hating the fact that he even lived here, and now I just slept with him? I was even interviewing staff that I though
