An Imperfect Perfect Love

Our story starts in the fall of 2014. When I was just 18 years old. I had been working at a shipping warehouse part time and finally went full time for the upcoming Christmas season. I had just clocked in for my first fulltime shift when I heard this guy whooping and hollering actually excited to be coming to work. Rolling my eyes I thought he must be crazy, that's when I realized he was coming up behind me. I remember thinking "Great he's working in my area." I stepped out of the way to let him clock in and go ahead as my friend DJ pulled up in her cart and called me over, "What is up with that guy?" She asked laughing. DJ is a few years older than me. She was my nextdoor neighbor and was a junior when I was a freshman in Highschool, so my parents asked her to drive me to and from school. That was when a friendship was struck. She has been my best friend ever since. Don't get me wrong we are both pretty strong headed so we've had our issues. But we always figure it out in the end. I started chuckling not wanting to make a huge scene. But so glad I wasn't the only thinking it. "I don't know. I mean how can you be that excited to go work?" "I don't know. But at least he's cute" She laughs. I roll my eyes, she thinks everyone is cute. I've had a lot of breakups. I definitely have commitment issues, but I can count my "boyfriends" on one hand. Her on the hand.... probably not even two hands. She seems to always have a new boyfriend. Sometimes two at a time. I don't know how far she goes with them as we don't talk about that because she knows my past. But still she thinks a lot of men are cute. She can get away with it though. She is around 5'5" a size 16 in clothes with an hourglass figure, she has shoulder length dark brown hair, teal eyes, and a kind face. All in all, super pretty. Such a huge contrast from me. I'm between 5'6 and 5'7, but the majority of my height is my legs so I tend to just look super awkward not quite tall but definitely not short. I have light brown/dark blonde untamed curly hair that goes halfway down my back. Even though I almost always wear it in a ponytail. My eyes are this amazing color of green with specks of yellow and brown in them. I am a size 12 also with an hour glass figure. My mom always jokes that I got cursed by her sides large hips, and a large butt from my bio dad's side. Which I guess is attractive to males, I always just think it's annoying wishing I could be slimmer instead of thick. "I'll see you at break." I say laughing as everyone one else is already on the other side of the conveyor belt for the pre sort (shift) meeting. As I climb over the conveyor belt, the new guy looks at me and asks "They had a pretty good game last night didn't they?" I look behind only to realize that he's talking to me. I immediately blush and get flustered. "I'm sorry?" I question. He points to my shirt, which is for the KU Jayhawks basketball team. I laugh embarrassed at this point and set him straight "I don't watch sports. I'm only wearing this shirt because I hope to go to their medical school when I finish my associates." "Oh. That's Cool. It was a good game." He stumbles out. I nod my head and shuffle my feet wondering how to get out of this awkward situation. Thankfully Our manager starts to give out spots for today. He tells me I'll be loading dock 305 which is about half way down our area. I immediately turn to go not wanting to stick around. As I get in the trailer I allow myself to take a breath. I have never been good at talking to men and usually take the runaway approach when they show that they are interested in anything more than friendship. Don't get me wrong. I had a high school sweetheart and several boyfriends. But to this day, I have only been on two dates and those two dates are why I am now working in a warehouse instead being a waitress (long story short I had a small rebellion that ended a few months ago). Otherwise all my boyfriends were really just friends. Anytime things would get too serious or physical I would break it off. My high school sweetheart (Steven) got very used to me breaking up with him just to get back together two days later. The lack of physicality on my part is why I think when we finally did call it quits he got another girl pregnant not long after. But it is what it is. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can never truly connect to anyone. Even with DJ, the relationship is surface level. we talk and we have fun. But we rarely hang out aside from when we are enjoying the night sky on our front porches. DJ is probably my closest friend now. But I haven't had a truly close friend since Beck moved to Pennsylvania with her dad in middle school. That is a friendship. We still talk all the time, and we actually just spent a month together in July. Two weeks in Pennsylvania and two weeks here in Kansas. Hopefully this guy realizes how awkward I am and leaves me alone.