Gardians Of The Night

I feel the sudden chills on my neck... my heart starts pounding and palms sweating. I slowly turn my head and he’s standing there… my breath gets stuck in my throat while his emerald green eyes burn with intensity into mine. As if he can see into my soul, with that small smile turning up at the corner of his lips as if he has a secret that I’m left out of. His dark hair hanging down his forehead just grazing the tops of his eyes, the stunning appearance this stranger possesses is enough to floor me. Who are you? My thoughts are Spiraling round and round through my head. “Rose" The whisper of my name on his lips was enough to stop my heart in its tracks but before I could even try to stammer out a response, he starts to slowly fade into the shadows ... to disappear while his voice lingers in my mind. I blink open my eyes to be greeted with the rays of early sunrise hitting my face through the opening in my curtain. My palms are sweating and my heart is racing, I try to calm my breathing as I take in the surroundings of my room. It was a dream, correction it was ‘the dream' yet again, this same dream with the same mysterious stranger. I shouldn’t be shocked at this point after 4 years of these same dreams, sometimes it would be just his eyes I see, sometimes I hear him speak or laugh but each time I can never manage a word myself. With a loud groan I roll over in my bed and grab my phone off my nightstand, great 7am who doesn’t want to wake up early on Saturday. I was in my last year of nursing school and living with my best friend Megan who I met in my first year. We clicked perfectly right from the beginning with her bubbly personality but with a dash of don't care attitude she was always the life of the party. I got off my bed with my feet hitting the floor with a thud. I slowly made my way to my bathroom and started the shower, I looked into the mirror with a sigh. I really was a hot mess with my long honey colored hair splayed out in all directions, my normally light blue eyes looking even brighter against the flush still on my cheeks. Get a grip Rose you have to stop these insane dreams, only crazy people dream about people they've never met. I slowly begin to drag my shirt over my head then wiggle my pants down my legs, goosebumps rising over my body as I feel the hot steam building from my shower. Unclasping my bra, I made effort not to look into the mirror knowing what I will see all along my back. I step into the scolding water with my face held high feeling every burn as it ran down my face. A couple hours later I’m sitting in the kitchen finishing my lunch when Megan comes wobbling out from her room. With her long black hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, fuzzy pink shorts and too tight to sleep in tank top. Only Megan can pull off looking that hot just after waking up, as she struts to the coffee pot to pour herself some coffee, I place my fork back down on my plate. Megan was the sweet innocent, hot but didn’t know it, but would mess anyone up who messed with her or the ones she loved type. “Who wakes up at the c***k of dawn on a weekend?” her soft but cheerful voice pierced the silence as she made her way to sit in the chair next to me. “Had a hard time sleeping last night “I smirked sheepishly “Ohh did the sexy stranger come and visit you in your dreams again?” She spoke in a sing song voice bringing her steaming mug to her lips but watching me eagerly. I could feel the blood rushing all over my body leading straight to my face, I swept a long strand of my hair off my face that escaped my loose pony tail and started twirling it around my finger as I spoke. “I know I sound crazy all the time but it’s been happening so much, I feel like I know him and he’s been calling out to me. I wake up with my heart racing so fast and...” I stopped my sentence and rubbed my palm across my forehead squeezing my eyes shut. I was seriously losing it and I had no explanation for it. “You’re not crazy love, people have weird dreams all the time, at least yours is a hot stranger and not some murderous clown" She laughed and reached out to hold my hand and spoke again. “What else is bothering you, besides these dreams?” How do I answer the very question I’ve been asking myself all along? I let out a sigh and spoke so quick I think I forgot to breathe. “I just feel like I’m missing something in my life, like all those huge pieces of my past that I didn’t get back. Ever since I woke up from my accident, I’ve felt like I’ve had a void inside my chest and those missing memories would fix it" Megan and I have had similar talks many times before yet she always gave the same support and courage as if it was the first time listening. “ Forgetting some of your high school experiences isn’t the biggest deal in the world, nothing life changing ever happens in those years anyway. The doctors were amazed that you got any memory back at all. You still graduated high school, got into college and are working your way to where you want to be in life. You didn’t let anything hold you back from your goals, you are strong, you are smart, and most importantly you are alive" She gave my hand a tight squeeze while her emotions buzzed with the feeling of love and pride. I smiled fondly back at her and spoke quietly. “I know, you’re right, I just can’t seem to push that feeling of missing something away.” Megan pursed her lips and let out a small sigh. “Hmm that’s because you are missing something... “She looked at me intently, I raised my eye brow to urge her to continue and a smile took form on her lips. “A man! That’s your missing piece your lacking girl, and clearly your subconscious has had enough and started dreaming up its own for the last 4 years.” I snatched my hand out of hers and gently wacked her on the shoulder while she vibrated in laughter. “Shut up, just because I’m not hooking up with randoms every other week like you means I'm - " “Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it" She cut me off winking seductively and I rolled my eyes to the heavens. “So now that your subconscious and I agree you need to add a little flavor in your life, let’s go out tonight! Let’s dress up and get wild and maybe even bring someone home" Megan’s voice went a couple pitches higher while her emotions over flowed with excitement. She stared me dead in the eyes while wiggling her brows up and down waiting for my response. I pursed my lips out in distaste and pinched my eyebrows together. “ You know how I feel about that kind of stuff, plus exams are coming up and I should really spend the night-" “4 years we have been at this! You are literally top of the class and one night out won’t kill you. I think it will do you good to let loose and give your mind some fresh faces to dream about” Her face turned into a hard pout and I couldn’t help but to let out a laugh at how ridiculous she looked, Megan is always begging me to go out and join her on a ‘girls night’. I have given in a couple times but usually the night always ended with me dragging a wasted Megan back home and into her bed, definitely not something I usually enjoyed. Don’t get me wrong, it was something she seemed to always enjoy and I was happy she got to do whatever made her happy, but these kinds of places just weren’t my scene. With her big puppy dog eyes locked with mine I took in a breath and closed my eyes trying to think of an excuse when suddenly those green eyes flooded my mind. I clenched my fists and opened my eyes standing up way too quickly. I looked over at a wide-eyed Megan feeling the hint of confusion and worry sliding off her. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding and attempted a smile to ease her concern. I’ve only ever seen him in my dreams while asleep, I was slightly scared for my mental health and caved in thinking maybe she is right. “okay we can go, but no drinking too much I don’t want to carry your ass home tonight" Her big brown eyes filled with excitement and she jumped from her chair reaching out to hug me. “Don’t worry I won’t! it will be so much fun I promise, the only way to erase your mind of one guy is to hop right onto- “ “I’m going out with you to clear my head, not to have a gross one-night stand with some drunk loser" I crossed my arms over my chest as a defense stance. Maybe she had a point, the past four years of school I haven’t even given one glance at any guy and before college I was rehabilitating after my accident in senior year of high school, I don’t even remember if I had a boyfriend in high school or not. My parents didn’t want to seem to dwell too much on my past either which I always felt was strange. My lack of male attention was probably the cause of my restless sleeps, but I’ve worked so hard to get this far in school and when I’m done, I can worry about that kind of stuff. “Okay fine, I get it, but it doesn’t hurt to take a look at all the sexy guys hanging around while we’re clearing your mind” She wiggled her finely trimmed brows at me with a huge smile. I rolled my eyes with a sarcastic smile in response and headed back towards my room. “Whatever you say” I spoke not bothering to look back, but I knew she could hear the smile in my voice as I heard her squeal of victorious excitement behind me. As I walked in shutting the door behind me, I sat on the edge of my bed with my face in my hands. Megan has been the biggest support besides my parents in the last 4 years, I owe her one night of letting loose with her. Since moving to this new town after my accident I felt so alone, strange things started happening like the constant dreams, and weird feelings as if something terrible was going to happen. All my life I felt like something was wrong with me, since as far back as I can remember I’ve been able to feel people’s emotions. It has definitely helped me to avoid shady people in my life and be able to understand what others were going through, but I learnt early on it wasn’t a thing ‘normal’ people could do. My parents always just told me I was a sensitive soul who had a great deal of empathy towards others, I don’t think they ever really understood what I kept trying to explain. After moving here, I tried talking to them about these new things but they assured I was just having some form of PTSD and I could always wait longer before starting school but I hated the idea of being looked at as something broken. So, feeling like an outcast all my life was something I became use to but now add on the nasty ass scar that takes over my whole back and the constant dreams every night I was the definition of a freak, I wasn’t sure who I could really let in. On my first day of school, I was so nervous being on my own and feeling so out of place I was about to call my parents and ask to wait another year. That’s when I ran into Megan, literally ran right into her rushing around a corner in this huge school trying to dig through my bag for my phone. All her things went flying across the floor but the first thing that came out of her mouth was a sweet innocent laugh. As we both bent down to pick up her stuff I was so confused and overwhelmed from the pure emotions coming from her. It was like a pure ball of light and happiness that seemed to drown out my nervousness and worries. With my mouth gaped open in embarrassment my wide eyes met her soft ones and her lips turned up at the corners while she began to speak. “Don’t even sweat about it, this place is huge hey? I’m new around here but..Oh I’m Megan by the way!” She shook her head as if she was the one embarrassed and then quickly extended her hand out to mine, I took it and shook. “I’m Rosalie, most people call me Rose though. I’m so sorry I guess I’m just lost and-" “Let me see your schedule, I've toured this school a couple times already" She stood back up eagerly waiting, I pulled my schedule up on my phone and handed to her. “oh! We have the same course! That’s so exciting. I know where it is, come on I’ll show you the way. We are going to be besties I can just feel it” Her sweet voice soothed my nerves and from that moment on we were best friends. We hung out every day and I slowly started feeling less alone..like I belonged. She was the complete opposite of me, super friendly and outgoing, didn’t care anyone thought of her. She helped me come out of my shy awkward shell and after our first year we decided it would be beneficial to become roommates and split costs on things while in school. The idea in the beginning scared me but we honestly spent so much time together anyway and her feelings of excitement towards the idea had me agreeing. After about a week of living together she noticed the scars on my back one night as I was getting ready for bed. “Bad ass!” She shrieked placing her fingertips on my back. I took a deep breath in knowing I’ve put in extra effort to put the least amount of attention towards my hideous back. How did I let my mind lose focus after only one week of being around her, I concluded it was because she made it so easy to lower your walls around her, she was just that type of person. “What happened?” Her curious eyes landed on mine but her fingers remained on the scar. I felt the curiosity and awe in her emotions, I don’t know what it was about this girl but I felt like I could open my soul to her and she would just embrace me in the purist light. So before I could even think my mouth just started speaking. “Senior year I was out hiking and got attacked by a bear... I don’t remember much about the day but I woke up in the hospital a week later, I was told while trying to escape it I fell off the trail I was on and landed head first into some rocks which ended in major head trauma and blood loss from the gashes on my back”. Her mouth popped open in a small o and her eyes bulged wide, but she motioned her head for me to continue. “My parents told me a couple who were hiking not far from where I was saw me take the fall and where the ones to make the call. The doctors told me if it weren’t for them I most likely would have bled out there and died. Hearing it all was so overwhelming because when I first woke up, I couldn’t remember anything not even who I was or what happened. I was told the trauma caused to my head would affect my memory ability and they weren’t sure if I'd get anything back. Then after a couple of days I started to remember certain things like little flash backs but a lot of things before my accident I still couldn’t remember. Everyone was just so happy that I lived, but they all looked at me like I was something damaged” I looked down and inhaled sharply feeling relieved to actually tell someone my story, I have never really had to before since my parents were there in the hospital with me and the whole ggruesome incident went on the local news. As soon as I felt better, I rushed to get out of that town where everyone treated me like a broken toy, but telling Megan about it felt nice, like releasing pent up feelings. I slowly looked back up at her with fear gripping my chest anticipating the feeling of pity to roll off her, but what I felt instead filled my chest with all kind of new feelings; acceptance, she felt pride, joy, and friendship. “You shouldn’t hide your scars, you should wear them proudly. They are part of who you are and they tell your story. And your story is that you are a bad ass who won against a bear!” After that we spent the whole night talking about both our pasts, sharing stories and laughing, from that moment on we always were open with whatever we wanted to say. She knew me better than anyone and she got me to loosen up here and there and learn to accept myself, so yes, I should be a good friend and go out with her tonight as she has always been a good friend to me. With a quiet laugh I brought myself back to the present smiling at the fond memories of friendship we have built over the years. I stood up off my bed and walked over to my closet, opening up the doors and flipped through hanging clothes. As I made my way through my small collection, I made a mental note to update my wardrobe. Finally grabbing two decent different options I heard my door open behind me. “Don’t think I’d let you decide on your outfit without me, did you? This night we are on a mission!” Megan came into my room with a mountain of clothes piled on top of her arms almost covering her face. I rolled my eyes and put my options back in the closet knowing I’d lose this battle no matter what. After a lot of run way try on's, hours in the bathroom with a curling iron and make-up Megan and I were finally ready to head out. She convinced me in this to tight, too short and too sparkly dress accompanied with matching black heels with straps that wrap halfway up my legs. As I gave myself another glance in the mirror, I studied myself. With more make-up than I’ve ever worn in my life and hair hanging down mid back in tight spiral curls, I looked like a stranger, or possibly a Barbie. I pouted out my now deep purple lips at myself in the mirror at the amount of skin exposure I had going on “Come on! You look hot! No one will be able to keep their eyes off you" Megan put her arm around my shoulder and rested her head on mine, even with my heels being slightly taller than hers I still stood a good 6 inches under her. I guess being 5’1” I’d fit better in with a group of middle schoolers, Megan on the other hand she looked like a goddess in her skin tight red dress and long olive toned legs exposed. Half her hair was up while the other half hung in the same curls as mine but hers basically still reached her butt. Her lips were painted a matching red but her shoes where white. “Let’s just get this over with" I groaned turning for the door hearing her footsteps and laughter behind me. “I just need one more thing" I dug into my closet looking for one of my black kimonos to wear to cover my shoulders and back. I found one that I’ve probably worn maybe twice and pulled it off the hanger but before I could slip it on Megan grabbed hold of it throwing it across the room with a look of shock plastered on her face “You're not seriously considering ruining the beautiful outfit, I created for you with that monstrosity? " My mouth plopped open staring at her while her emotions buzzed with annoyance. “But-but my back" I stammered out quietly looking down. I hated people staring and whispering around me. I never go out with it showing so openly, being exposed in public was a foreign feeling for me. “Honey with the way you look no one will even take a second look at your back. Plus, what do I always tell you about your scars?” Her eyebrows pinched together but her lips smirked. “To be proud of my scars... But I can be proud of them and that I am alive without dealing with peoples stares or pity, I don’t like feeling like people viewing me as some kind of freak ” I mumbled without looking back up at her, I felt her annoyance melt away and protectiveness take it’s place. “You are not a freak. You are strong. Anyone who tries to give you any other belief I will tell them where to shove their opinions" She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, I breathed in and held her tight. Letting go she turned and walked over to pick up the kimono she threw. “How about a compromise? You go without wearing it, but we will bring it and if you begin to get too uncomfortable you can put it on? Just try to be free and not care what others think, feel beautiful the way you are. For one night, heck even if it’s for only ten minutes “She handed it back to me and I smiled up at her. “okay," I breathed out As we entered the loud club filled to the max of strangers I suddenly felt naked, I looked over at Megan who was giving me an encouraging smile. I filled my lungs with air and kept walking forward, there were people everywhere, at the bar, the dance floor, the tables, playing pool. I was out of my comfort zone with the blaring music and color changing lights but I decided I would try and have a good time. Maybe Megan was right and it was time to let loose, to stop caring about others opinions. We found a table in the corner that was empty and sat down, Megan leaned in close to shout at me over the music. “I’ll go get us drinks!” I gave her the thumbs up while taking in our surroundings, definitely all people our age, everyone seemed to be having a good time. My eyes stopped on a tall man standing a couple tables away, as he turned his head his blue eyes locked with mine. Immediately looking down I could feel the heat rush to my face, okay maybe looking at some good-looking guys tonight won’t be such a horrible thing. Megan came back to the table holding two shots, as she sat, she placed one in front of me and one in front of her. As I picked up mine I looked back up and saw the man was still staring at me, his lips formed in a half smile and one eye brow raised with interest. Following my gaze Megan turned her head and snapped it right back at me. “That hot blonde is making bedroom eyes right at you!” She yelled with a huge smile, leaning in closer she spoke again “oh right but we’re not looking at boys tonight “she leaned away winking and picked up her shot to cheers with me. Oh, what the hell I picked mine up and clicked with hers before downing mine as quick as I could, the burn went all the way down my throat into my stomach and my eyes crinkled slightly. “wooot! Now let’s go dance pretty lady!” Megan grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me towards the dance floor. A little while later and a little too many drinks later I stumbled my way back over to our table sweating from all the dancing. I grabbed my elastic off my wrist and threw my hair into a ponytail, looking around for Megan I spotted her still on the dance floor. Grabbing my phone out of my little bag I looked at the time, midnight wow time was going fast. I tucked it back in my bag and made my way to the bar to get a glass of water and headed back to my table. Passing a bunch of people staring but staring with a lust filled emotion, I wasn’t sure if I felt better or worse about that. As I took my seat, I noticed someone else sat down with me too, looking up I saw those deep blue eyes from earlier. “Mind if I sit? Names Eric" He held out his hand and smiled. I gave him a smile back and reached my hand out to shake his but the moment our skin touched I experienced a feeling I’ve never before. Like cold, darkness, loneliness, death? I couldn’t put my finger on it but whatever the feeling had me retracting my hand as fast as possible. Besides that, moment we touched I couldn’t get any read on his emotions, nothing, as if no one was sitting there. He pinched his eyebrows together looking stunned. “I’m sorry I just got the urge that I really need the bathroom “I spoke loudly and quickly while getting up and walking away without waiting for his response. I squeezed my eyes shut as I walked, smooth Rose, have to use the bathroom. What is wrong with you. I chided myself all the way to the girl's room and walking in I stood in front of the mirror. What was that about? Am I that drunk, he has no emotions? Or maybe I’m just too drunk to get any reads. My god I sound crazy, I’m probably just coming up with excuses, self-sabotaging, he’s good looking just go back out there and talk to him. With a couple deep breaths I turned for the door but before I got there a couple of drunk girls came stammering in laughing. I stood to the side as they passed me walking up to the mirror I was just in front of. “Oh my God I can’t believe you just did that Shelly! You should definitely bring that boy home tonight!” One said to the middle girl while they all laughed. I looked at the three one them and could see each of their emotions, okay so it wasn’t because of the drinks, I could still get reasons. Just not on him, I pursed my lips and turned back to the door heading out to go find Megan. Finally finding her and dragging her out of the club we were standing outside in the chilly night air. “What’s going on hun, were you not having fun?” She looked at me feeling upset like she did something wrong. “No, I had a really good time I’m glad we did this, but I started getting a headache and I’m actually super tired, you can stay if-" She cut me off immediately and grabbing my hand. “If you're leaving I’m coming, I’m not letting you walk back to the house alone” She squeezed my hand and smiled. As we turned to head back home Megan leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Hot blonde coming our way, I can totally sleep with headphones in if you want to bring him with us" She winked at me while nodding her head to the left where Eric was walking towards us. I breathed in to try and control my sudden feeling of fear and held Megan’s hand tighter. “Hey! I didn’t even get your name “he stopped in front of us smiling and Megan giggled in response. “Her name is Rose. I’m Megan, and you are?” she reached her hand out to shake his. “Eric, nice to meet you ladies “He shook her hand and Megan tightened her grip on my other hand. “You guys headed home so early? Don’t want to get something to eat or anything?” He tilted his head to the side. “oh-" I began to say before Megan cut me off “We actually aren’t feeling too well and my dad is on his way to pick us up, she had a little too much to drink" She laughed a little gesturing at me. Her emotions suddenly changed from nervousness and fear, what was happening Megan was never nervous or scared.