Louisseena

Chapter 42

Chloe

The sound of nature is all around. Raven was lying on a rock beside a pond. The pond has a mini waterfall. There were trees surrounding it, giving it shade. Raven puts her paw in, the water is warm. She rests her head on her paws.

“Raven…” A faint voice calls out. Raven perked up at the sound of the voice calling her. She looked around but found no one. She looked up to the sky and saw a moon, a full round moon at day time.

“Raven. I’m so proud of you not giving up”, the voice said. Raven purrs at the praise from the voice.

I walked up beside Raven and sat beside her on the rock. I dipped my legs into the warm water of the pond. 

“ Chloe” , the voice called out. I didn’t respond. It’s not my name. A moment later I'm looking around. I know this place, there shouldn't be anybody else here.

“ It’s your new given name” the voice responded like it’s listening to my thoughts.

The voice: This place… is nice. You’ve created a beautiful place in your mind.

Me: um.

I made a sound of acknowledgement.

The voice: I’m the moon goddess, Chloe.

Moon goddess: Raven has told me you always wanted a new name but couldn’t settle for one. Names are given to you my pup, not something you can just choose. 

Me: Chloe.. (I said it slowly in my mind)

Moon goddess: A very long time ago, Chloe… well, you know the story of my black pup and white pup well now do you? You are my blessed pup.

How am I blessed? I don’t know what to do in my life. After living for so long, more than 30 years, I still don’t know what to do. What do I really like? I always envy people who have passion and find out what they like. I always envy people who have talent in something, therefore they know their direction is set for them. When I was young, my father’s friend introduced me to an elder. She told me the elder has a sight into the future. He told her that her daughter would become a doctor. Now, she is a dentist. 

When the elder met me, all the advice he gave was to ask me to try things out. Do I look like I have the money to try things out? Why couldn’t he have given me a direct answer like he did with everyone else. What a scammer.

Moon goddess: Your time just hasn’t reached yet back then. You do know the future changes based on everyone’s decision, including yours.

Me: huh?

I just remember again the Moon goddess is listening to my thoughts.

I sigh, knowing that’s exactly what a goddess would say. She wouldn’t divulge anything to me.

There was silence. I had a million things to ask but I know I will never get a direct answer. Just like how my life has always been, no direction. I hated it, always being in the middle of things. I have never excelled in anything nor have I really been the worst in anything.

Me: I wish I wasn’t born. 

There, I said it. At this point I just envy everyone in the world. Even the worst kind of people had someone loving them, giving them a family. The kind of people that have malicious intent, the kind of people that destroyed my black wolves ancestors… the kind of people like Marcus… the kind of people like my parents who didn’t care about me. Yet I consider myself as not bad and I get no one. Maybe I’m really one of those kinds of worse people too…

Moon goddess: You are stronger than this Chloe.

I paused my thoughts. Those very words that Kahley once said to me. It now echoes in my mind. Those words were from the moon goddess.

Moon goddess: I’ve always been with you, my little pup. 

I teared up hard. 

Me: There’s no need for me in this world. There’s so many others. Even if I’m gone, people’s lives still go on. They won’t miss me.

Moon goddess: You are the only alpha pup in your pack, there’s no one to replace you. Your father misses you.

The image of my dad flashed in my mind.

I still had tears in my eyes….