Four
1365 Words
Kent, Elliot's Secretary carefully arranged the boxes in his study room.
Keeping a particular box apart he slowly unloaded the contents.
Files and more files he needed to work on. Last three days, he received a call from his mother notifying him of her intentions to accompany his father to the annual international conference held for major companies.
Which equals leaving Ivan completely under his care. Ivan had no Nanny, courtesy to his mother and his distrust in those self-acclaimed baby carers.
Since he became a father, he had enormous protective tendencies for his son, he worried about the little things that affects Ivan. An example was when he had a fever, he forgot every other thing he was working on and left to attend to him.
One of the fears he shared with Audrey was he might not be the perfect father.
His goal was to ensure all of Ivan's needs are met.
He never lacked anything.
But he failed terribly at ensuring his son's needs of a mother was met.
He failed at ensuring the life of his wife continued.
He wished he had the power of life, to bring her back.
He closed his eyes to stop the pain gnawing at his heart, the heart that no longer beats, the heart that died along with Audrey as he held her hands in the hospital bed. Her pale skin revelling her bones.
Flashes of her hollow eyes stared back at him lacking the green lustre that accompanies them.
They lacked life.
Her lips were cracked and grey probably from dehydration, he thought.
But that's was him being delusional ignoring the signs that marked her as a dying person.
Dark shadows circled her eyes with her strained effort to speak.
He tried stopping the tears falling at seeing looking very close to lifeless.
"I am sorry, " her death-like whisper echoed in his ears.
It tore his very being to see her apologizing. It dipped him in anguish at how he failed terribly as a father and husband.
He felt responsible for her constant pain and suffering during the course of carrying Ivan for nine-month.
Her sickly looking fingers clasped his face, "Ivan is your son," she spoke in a very little voice, veins literally wrung out of her thin skin.
He cupped her face staring deep into her eyes, "Ivan is our son. Not only mine."
A tear slipped from her eyes, "I birthed him but can't mother him."
His breathing hitched at her unguarded statement, he placed his fingers on her lips hating how she projected an irreversible doom.
She projected his ultimate destruction, "Audrey stop saying that. I promise you, I will get you out of here."
"Stop, " she whispered, he noticed her tears drying slowly, a firm look graced her sunken cheekbones.
"Don't deny the fact I am dying, I can feel life slipping out of my hands. I can't make it, " she breathed heavily, her words tearing his world apart.
Threw him to rocked reality.
"You deserve happiness, you do. Don't punish yourself after my death. Ivan-" she paused, struggling with speech.
"Ivan ensure he has it all, make sure he doesn't miss his mother."
"Don't talk anymore you looked stressed, rest now."
She gave a little nod, her eyes not focused on him.
She grasped his hands tightly, "Kiss me on my forehead. I want to feel you it would put me at rest."
He found her request highly disturbing, but he did hope she would relax a bit. His lips rested gently on her forehead, he felt the tense grip of her hand gently relax, her breathing now gentle as he could no longer hear it.
After a few seconds passed he found it odd she wasn't breathing at all, his heart skipped he drew from her observing her.
She looked asleep, her lashes resting peacefully on her cheekbones.
Maybe she fell asleep, he thought trying to ignore the voices telling him he was being delusional again.
He should heed to reality and he did.
Putting his index fingers under her nose he waited five seconds to feel her warm breath cascading on his fingers but he felt nothing.
She was holding her breath, he was sure of it.
Ten seconds passed, more still counting still nothing.
Cold sweat washed through his skin, he took a long look at Audrey. Her dark hair splayed on the hospital white pillows, that matched with her white straight cut gown. She seemed almost too peaceful to be asleep. Too peaceful.
Shakily, he dropped his hand to her neck close to her collar bone, his fingers searching for a pulse.
It was useless because she was already gone.
He felt defeated like he was and leaned closer to her caressing her face, removing the strands stuck on her face. Ignoring the fact she felt cold, no warmth radiating from her body to his at his touch.
She won't respond to his call or kisses.
Audrey was gone, he felt equally dead with her except he was aware of the pain he couldn't express.
A scream he can't force out of his throats, emotions pegged him suffocating him from breathing.
He hated life now, he hated how Audrey died like she didn't deserve it.
It stole her away from him, and made him stone hard. Made him hate all that represents cheerful.
He hated everything including himself.
He hated how the doctors peeled him away from Audrey's cold body, marking her death date and wrapped her in the white loincloths.
A sharp pain cut across his hands, he snapped back to the present.
Trying to recover from the reminiscing he just did. He felt weak more than ever, recalling her death made him exhausted emotionally, because he felt enraged, sad, defeated all at the same time.
A dull ache cut across his hand, dropping his gaze he noticed his grip on one of the metal boxes was so tight it cut his skin through.
Ignoring the injury he just attained, he went down to check on Ivan. He seemed fine, too quiet a bit far from his typical self but his silence was a good thing.
It provided more time and concentration for his work duties. Leaning downward he fondled him gently, before lifting him to his arms and walking up the stairs to the cot upstairs waiting in the study.
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Three days have passed with Elliot staying fully at home with Ivan caring for him and it had his bones reeking from exhaustion. Weariness written all over.
The beginning enthusiasm he had, died in the night of the first day.
He woke up from his sleep and slept no more, spent his night time cooing Ivan from his midnight cries, feeding him, changing his diapers and the mountain of all tasks putting him to sleep.
His mother cared for Ivan's needs and made it look easy but since her absence, he found millions of paperwork less stressful than caring for Ivan.
Nevertheless, he cherished each moment he gets to spend with Ivan and create memories.
He would whisper stories about his lost princess that died after giving birth to a little prince. His green irises remind him of Audrey.
But this night was different. For some reason, Ivan was restless and irritated.
He cried non stop for the past hours despite Elliot's try to calm him down.
He even tried feeding him some milk, guessing he might be hungry but surprising him Ivan rejected it.
Before his mother left, she provided him with a number to call in case he had any difficulties with Ivan. His try with the internet helped in no way.
He took a glance at the number his mother referred him to call in case of any emergencies with Ivan, and dialled it, hoping he would get Ivan to relax a bit.
Expecting his mother's voice over the phone as it rang he waited patiently for the other line to speak up.
Finally, a female voice came through but it wasn't his mother, "Who is this?"
He can recall that irritating feminine voice anywhere.
Why was it the red hair that picked his call?
- Writer
