Life and Lemons

Remember the saying when life gives you lemons,make lemonade. Well my life gave me hard,sour, impossible lemons that made my life sour itself. Three years ago,fresh out of college,I got married to the sweetest,most handsomest man in college. I used to think he was soweet until he forcefully deflowered me and sold me to his friends. The damn bastard made money with my body on a daily basis. Even though they were wearing wedding bands, they shamelessly had their way with me. I remember when I used to kick, scream, and shout his name for help. He did not help me. All he did was look on and drown himself in liquor. Maybe that made him feel less guilty. After a lot of crying, everything goes dark. I have tried to reach out to my parents but that has never helped. They either gave me tired sighs or hanged up completely. The last time I called,my father told me to," quit being a baby and grow up." My hope had died then. I felt myself lose the strength I held so tightly on to. The call ended with him telling me that he always knew I was a w***e. He had finally broke me. I always knew I was a burden to them but I never thought he hated me that much. On that night,my darling husband came back home with a band of drunk assholes. Our eyes met for a moment. His were just looking,mine where searching. They were searching for the passion, love and compassion that used to reside in him. They searched for the man I fall in love with. But he was not there. I think he had finally seen how broken I was. I refused to fall lower than I have fallen. I refused to cry. I thank the heavens for the numbness I felt. A man on his left bumped into him. He grinned in his direction and said something I could not hear. The men cheered and filtered the room I was in. One by one,the men did unspeakable things to my dead body. This time I didn't kick. Or scream. Or shout. This time I stared at him blankly. Showing no emotion. He continued nursing his drink, conversing like my dignity was not being stripped. When they had all left,my darling husband untied me from the Saint Andrew's cross. I hated this moment the most. It's when he tries to look anything but the devil in a suit. He holds me with gentle hands and bathes me with soft sponges. It irritates me when the string of apologies spew out of his disgusting mouth. I just wish he could trip on air and die. I want him dead. When he's done with the bathe,he moisturizes my skin and tie me up again. He turns of the light and goes to sleep in his bedroom. ~•~ This morning John did not grace me with his foul presence. As much as I'm happy about that,my stomach isn't. I think it has been a day or two since I've eaten. Said stomach grumbles loudly, scaring the s**t out of me. "Are you hungry." A scream is ripped out of my dry throat. The i***t even has the audacity to cover his eyes. I glare at him when he covers me with...his suit jacket before looking at me. Wait,what? He takes a sit not too close to me as I try my damnest to calm my raging heart. We end up in a staring competition. "I asked you a question," he says. I turn my head to the other side. I can still see him in my periphery. I'm not going to answer him. What if this is another ploy for those other i***t to try and punish me. Men are stupid,I swear. I groan internally. "Are you hungry?' he asks again. I continue to ignore him but my traitorous stomach chose that moment to embarrass me. He chuckles before coming towards me. His hands felt so warm compared to my cold,cold skin. He untied me from the cross and sat me down on one of the many sofas in the room. He retrieved a bag from behind the one he was sitting on. I stared at my fingers when his eyes were back on me. He put a container full of meat and salad. My mouth watered in anticipation. I don't think anything has ever looked so beautiful. Enticing eve. I slowly looked at him. His eyes were expectent.I c****d my head to the side and continued to study him. After all he's a stranger. A stranger that looks familiar. The small voice in my head mumbled. I internally rolled my eyes at it. "Aren't you going to eat," he asked. I bit my lower lip hesitantly. I'm trying to figure out his motives. A man can't come in here just to give me his jacket and feed me. "Why are you doing this," I asked. It was actually a hoarse whisper. The unknown man stared at me for a solid minute before shoving a fork full in my mouth."Stop talking," he says in a low tone. He fed me in silence. Unfortunately I have had a dance with silence before. It's not comfortable anymore now that I have a company. After swallowing the latest food he shoved in to my mouth,I prepare to ask him another question.He glares at me,fully aware that I'm going to talk even though he told me not to. I shrug. Deal with it. I mumble in my head. "Who are you and what do you want," I ask. His had froze mid air. I c****d a brow at him. "You are in no state to ask questions," he mumbled. I glared back at him. "Yes I am, now answer me," I whisper yelled. Actually using my voice hurts. He stared at me like he was contiplating whether I'm read for his answer on not. He put the fork back into the container and sighed in defeat. "Andrew...Andrew Miles," he said. Yeah,I wished I never pushed. I flinched out of my sit and landed on the floor with a thud. He quickly made his way towards. Intending to help get me up but I weakly slapped his hands away from my body. "Are you...," the words trailed off and he nodded. He took his jacket back and helped me walk to the cross. He tied me up again. "My brother doesn't know I'm down here and I gotta head up before he notices. I'll come back, okay," I weakly nodded. My eyes closed as I slept restlessly.