The f*******n Love

“Samantha Josephina Wilson,” The lady that stood beside the door to be lead to a room. I stood up at the same time my foster parents did.   I can’t believe that this is actually about to happen again. I have always been in a foster home since I was born never going without some type of family. My heart is beating so fast and I am scared out of my mind. This is worse than being found by the cops when I wanted to die and people were staring as the cops put hand cuffs on me as if I was a criminal hurting someone beside myself. Then I had to go and be put in an ambulance and I barely talked them out of taking the cuffs off. That was so embarrassing to have people just stares at you like that. I think some people were even laughing or talking bad about me. Whatever it was, it got back to my foster parents and they are now getting rid of me just like the other families.   We walk back to this room through a long corridor, one I have walked many times before. Once we reach the room the lady opens the door and there is another lady sitting behind the desk. There are two chairs right in front of the desk and one chair off to the side. I already know which chair has been set out for me. Could they be any more obvious that they hate me and never want to see my face ever again.    “Hello my name is Amanda and I will be filling in for Sasha today. Please come in and have a seat,” she said clearly not happy to be here filling in for my case worker who is out on materiality leave right now. The lady who lead us here closes the door and as she leaves us in silence.   “Alright then Mr. and Mrs. Johnson what are we here today for?” Amanda asked in a professional tone but still bored.   “We are sorry but we are no longer able to take care of Samantha and we would like to see her be put in a good place,” My foster dad said, as if he actually cares. No one truly cares about anyone and when you get attached to a family your only left with disappointment when they leave you.   “Well, I believe there is an opening in the Hudson adoption home. It is a place for boys and girls who have no family and need to be adopted or a family to take them in. This place will help you get a better fit for you and your needs.  If you would like I can look it up right now and see if we can get you a spot there,” Amanda the case worker said.   “Yes please get her a spot,” My foster mother said as if life depended on me getting a spot at this place and never having to see me again.   “Samantha is that your choice because if not we may have to look into some other option but I do not know how long that will take,” Amanda told me.   “Yes that is my choice. I just have some questions about it,” I said evilly thinking of how many random questions I could ask.   “Of course you do and I will answer them to the best of my ability and if I cannot answer your question I will call them personally to ask them with you right here,” Amanda said with a tone that said just get it done and over with.   “Do you know what my chances would be of being adopted from there would be?” I asked with sincerity.   “You personally I would not know. Most are adopted within the first year they are there. There is that one percent that isn’t as lucky. I would have to look at your records to see what your chances are. I would say they are very high. How there system works is very different than others. They will have families who are looking to adopt and stay a few days with everyone so that way they know who they would like to adopt. After a few days they may take who they want to adopt home for about a week and then about six months the adoption is finalized. There is that rare case that after the week they come back. It doesn’t happen often but I just want you to be prepared for it,” Amanda explain and my foster parents are looking so bored, I find that kind of funny that they have to stay here while my questions are being answered. That is why I think of some extra questions to get them angry.   “The boys and girls have different sleeping arrangements right or how does that work?” I asked smiling.   “Yes there is the girl’s hall and then there is the boy’s hall. Something’s you do together but things like some of the group consoling will be both girls and boys or only the girls or only boys. Some activities will be different and you will separate for that as well,” Amanda answered sounding impressed with my questions.   “What type of schooling do they have?" I asked "They have private schooling for the kids there. There is about 300 students in one grade with that whole grade has their own dorm room building. Female rooms have four to a room while the males have two or three to a room," She explained getting irritated. "What are the school buildings like?" I asked smirking when my foster family gave me dirty looks. "The school building is set up like the door rooms one grade per building with them all connected by a sidewalk for the students who have a class or two in another grade level. There is a main building for choir and band concerts plus the cafeteria for every grade level," She answered now getting angry. "Any thing else I should know about this place?" I asked giving the lady a break.   “No I think that is about it. Would you like for me to give them a call now to get you a bed?” Amanda asked as nicely as she could.   “sure that sounds good," I answered.   Amanda picks up the phone and calls the Hudson adoption home. She puts the phone on speaker so that way we all can hear the conversation.   “Thank you for calling the Hudson adoption home this is April how may I help you,” She answered.   “Hello April this is Amanda Burch from all kids need our help. I am a case worker here and today I am filling in for Sasha King. One of Sasha’s kids came in today with her foster family and they are no longer able to care for her and I told her about your place. She has told me that she would like to see if you have a space for her,” Amanda explained to the girl on the phone.   “Yes we do have a space but for a male we currently only have one bed open that is usually for a boys room. If she is alright with having a room with two boys we will gladly take her," April said "I am fine I just need my own space," I said "You will have your own space seeing as each room has a main area where there is a T.V. and study area with three doors that lead to a small room that has a twin bed and a four door dress with a small closet," She explained. "She will be fine with that," My foster mother answered for me. "Alright then can you please give me her information,” asked April. “Name-Samantha Josephina Wilson, DOB-8/3/1993, Age-13, s*x-female, Allergies-none, Medical history- had birth mark removed age four/broke three fingers at the age of 7/broken arm at the age of ten/broken foot at the age of ten/dislocated knee cap age 11/ has glasses for reading that she just got recently, Major health issues-none, and we will be sending over her family medical history as soon as possible,” Amanda said and while she was speaking you could hear typing on the other end of the phone as the lady is typing all the information into the computer. “Okay we can take her today or whenever is best also do you need us to transport her or do you have transportation for her?” said April.   “She will have to go there today and yes we will need transportation for her,” My foster dad said   “Alright let me make some phone calls and I will get back to you once I have found her transportation here,” April said and with that they both hung up at the same time.    “Alright Mr. and Mrs. Johnson I just have some papers for you to fill out and then you may go but I need to know how you plan to have Samantha’s things brought to the Hudson adoption home?”  Amanda asked.   “Well actually we have her s**t in the car and most of the things we bought she is not allowed to keep. We packed all her clothes and the few things she had before she came to live with us. She can take her s**t out of the car before we leave and then she has it with her,” My foster mom said smartly.   The way she said that really pissed me off because I am the teen, I am the child, she isn’t supposed to act like this she is the adult and the parent. I am the one who should be acting like that. I am way more mature than her. Never in a million years would I say something like that. It is just uncalled for and I am glad that I am leaving even if I am scared for the unknown. I am on my way to Hudson Adoption home with the police. The police had to be the only ones who were willing to take me out of town. Even though they are glad to see me go for all the trouble I have always caused. Every weekend I would spend at least one night in jail and each time it was for something different. The cops saw me close to where a crime was they would take me in and even if I didn't do it, which was a rareness that I wasn't in trouble. To say the drive was uncomfortable would be an understatement. He stared at me through the rearview mirror the entire way smiling. I would put money down saying they were going to party tonight knowing that I would be out of town and never coming back. I didn't used to always cause so much trouble but some people like my real caseworker always thought I was a sweet girl that was just misunderstood.  Misunderstood, is how I've always been. When I dyed my hair black when I was six because I didn't want to be part of the group of girl who the principle liked to spend 'extra' time with. Since then my hair has been dyed black every month with me either stealing money to buy it or just straight up stealing the hair dye. That started my string of crime from age six being in the system and trying to survive.   My thoughts of how I ended up hated by the police hauled when we pulled up outside. I burst open the door which I shouldn't have been able to do considering I was in the back of the police car and there is safety, that gave me a dirty look from the cop. I grabbed my bag and walked up as if I owned the place. Even though I was scared out of my mind, as bad as I am the unknown has always scared me. That is why I learn everything I can about every situation. Before the police was called to bring me here, I did some research about this place. Everything I found was too good to be true. Making me uneasy about this place but never judge a book by its cover or by what others say and think. The building was hug like it was a college campus or something. The whole neighborhood was recently redone but looked like this was once a really bad part of town in a movie or something. I look around and I think this neighborhood was part of a movie or something back in the day but has obliviously been remodel for modern day stuff.   The first thing you see when you walk in is a lady at a desk in the middle of an empty room. Behind her is two sets of stares on either side and if you look up you can see six floors with the stares going up to each floor in a circle.   "Samantha Josephina Wilson?" The lady questioned that I assume was April the lady from the phone.   "Yes ma'am" I said polity and the deputy rolled his eyes at me, knowing I am only polite the first week or so you know me, all depending on how much I like a certain person.   "We have you meeting with our main case worker and we will get you started in school tomorrow. If you would bring in the rest of your things we will take them to your room for you," She said with a smile.   "This is it," I said lifting up my only bag for her to see.   Just as I said that a man in with a copy of my file, looked me over and how I had the police with me. It was as if he was assessing how much trouble I was going to be and when he sighed. I took that as a good sign he knew what I could do.   "Samantha come with me," He said and I followed him to a room that led to many different offices.   "Do you know how many times you have been arrested?" He asked   "I don't keep track and I don't really care because half of that stuff I was nearby when it went down. Since they didn't know who did it I was taken in so they wouldn't have to say they lost them," I explained as if it was nothing and to me it was nothing.   "You are 13 years old and have been taken to the police station for a crime almost 300 times. If you take all the time you spent in jail it would add up to about a year of your life. We won't accept that here. Do you understand?" He said with a hard look.   "Yes sir," I said with a smirk   "First off the rules here are simple. You go to school, you do your homework, you do your assigned chores, you get your free time. You will have group therapy and one on one once every week. We have a morning workout that you will take part in with the ladies after school every day. I will print up a schedule for you of what you are required to do. You will be here for six months before you are considered for adoption and then you must not continue on this path," He said with a cold hard stare.   "I have a question about school. my family thought they enrolled me in middle school because they wanted me with my age group but I really was in high school. I just finished my freshman year. I would like to stay at my current level of school," I said   "I know I saw that and we have some test for you to take that our freshman class just took. If you can pass them then you may continue on to be a sophomore. If not we will place you in your age group," he said   "Okay whens the test?" I asked.   "When we are done here. Right now I have a female co-worker coming in to talk to you," He said and in comes a woman and he leaves.   "Hi, I am Dr. Johnson and I am going to be asking you some personal questions. Please answer honestly, I am not here to judge just making sure you are healthy and will be alright here. First off how old are you?" She asked.   "13,"   "Have you ever had intercourse?"   "Yes,"   "Have you started your period?"   "Yes I had my first one when I was 10 and my last one was two days ago," I said   "Do you smoke or drink?"   "Yes to both. Drinking socially and smoking all the time. I started drinking when my foster mom gave me my first taste of beer and then wine and several shoots. I started smoking at age 6 with that foster family," I explained.   "Do you consider yourself straight, gay, or bisexual?"   "I consider myself single and I don't know. When I fall in love I won't care nothing about what they look like or if we are the same s*x,"   "Right now we only have one bed open in a room with two other guys. I am sorry but you will have to room with them," She said     "It alright I've always shared a room with guys," I said with a shrug and she left.   I walked out and saw the guy I was talking to before, he saw me and motioned for me to come. I walked over to him and he had the test pulled up on the computer.   "Here is a calculator and lose paper. You have 2 hours to complete all questions?"   "I don't need the calculator and if you leave it I will use it and it messes me up," I said and he looked shocked but took it and left.