Ludi

Remembering Lives

WuFei approached the bed, where young Quatre slept. He was already sleeping again, as if nothing had happened. There was no trace of unconsciousness or anything that had happened. 

He sat down on the bed next to him, took a deep breath, and took the bowl of fruit in his hands. This time he'll be controlled. I would. 

"Master Quatre..." he said softly to see if he woke up "Master Quatre, you must eat..." 

Quatre's breathing grew a little heavier, and he yawned, then sat up with a sleepy face. His eyes sparkled, and his face seemed more composed. WuFei seemed relieved to see him wake up, but something on his face didn't fit; he was blushing ... and disappointed? 

"W... mmm, Mr. Chang ... what happened? Did I pass out again?" Asked the young man with big bright eyes, trying to decipher the expression of his guard. 

"Master Quatre..." To what extent could he lie to him? "You… were unconscious for a few hours… I don't know if you remember what happened to you in the tower during the delivery…" 

"I… yes, I was in the tower… and I began to feel very bad…" suddenly she blushed noticeably and covered his face with one of his hands "I remember the bathtub… and that… you fed me..." Both blushed remembering the scene, WuFei more than him "after that… I think I had a somewhat strange dream… and now talking to you…" 

"Please master Quatre, you can call me by my name... you already have..." 

Quatre blushed a little more and nodded. For some reason he felt much better than he had at first and felt hungry like never before. Not even in his life before the painting did, he wants so much to eat something, as at that moment. And WuFei realized this from the loud sound his stomach made. 

"I think I'm hungry..." In the middle of a shy laugh, WuFei passed him the bowl of fruits, and while Quatre ate them, he made more and more gestures of displeasure until he could no longer eat them "Agh! They are horrible!! It's too bitter..." 

"It must be because there is no poison in your body anymore... these black berries become sweet on contact with poison, of any type. They function as a detector, and an antidote at the same time. If you ever eat them and feel they are sweet, you should keep eating them until they are bitter. You need to know that in case I'm not with you" 

"Thanks... I'm so hungry... that never happened to me before..." 

"I'll have them bring you something to eat if you want. In the meantime, rest" 

"Could you stay?" 

"I'll do" 

WuFei went to the kitchens to order something to eat for the young master, and soon returned to find him covered only in a long silk robe looking at the gardens, in the light of a huge and bright celestial moon. It glittered like a god, frail in expression. Something inside him made his heart beat so hard that his chest hurt. 

"I dreamed of this garden ... it was this garden, but different ... there were some yellow flowers, over there where there are some bushes, and a small statue is missing in that corner next to the wall, but the rest was all the same. I played with some children..." Quatre was silent, and suddenly he blushed noticeably "I think I remember living here..." 

"Maybe it's some memory of Sandrock ... of her time living among us ... although I did not get to be in her presence, one of the oldest monks was... you can speak to him when you need it, if you have doubts about your previous life…" 

"Yes, thanks. But something tells me that it's not with him that I should speak..." WuFei didn't understand. At some point the young man's gaze turned peaceful. He was no longer tense or disturbed. It seemed as if he has always existed in that temple, in that world, in that land "Until now I thought about my mother. She is the only person I had a tie with… where I lived, I hated walking through the city. It made me feel sick. She tried to understand, but she couldn't. Sometimes I have nightmares where I'm drowning in a thick sea, while my skin burns. I used to wake up screaming and crying ... this it is the first time that I manage to sleep peacefully..." 

WuFei was looking at him notoriously impressed. He had a somewhat sad look. 

"Master Quatre... I didn't know Sandrock, but in our records there are logs of her life between us. The last one, was written by the old man… Sandrock was killed after being kidnapped while cleaning contaminated fields in another kingdom… she was locked in an oil tub and set on fire while she was in the unconscious. Her screams were said to be heard miles from kingdoms. The culprits were found and sentenced, but still ... it still hurts to remember that part of our history... I think, you remembered that moment..." 

Quatre felt his chest heavy, an immense sadness invaded his being, and tears began to flow from his eyes, without intending to… he didn't understand, but even so he was too sad, to know that something so horrible had happened to him, that nothing could do back then. 

"Why…?" 

"Because they had artificially created a way to purify as she did, and she was an obstacle to their economic ends ... she also refused to be married about 7 times by the same king who owned the artifice. It was all out of greed" WuFei felt a tear slide down his cheek, but he didn't understand why. Remembering that always made him deeply sad. 

They both stared at the gardens in silence. In a way, Quatre seemed to understand a lot more than before, and with that, he missed where he came from much less. 

Upon returning to the room, a monk arrived with a tray of assorted food and left it served at the small table. Some seemed familiar; others, far from it. Quatre devoured everything they had brought him. He felt in paradise. 

WuFei kept him company while he ate. He seemed satisfied with what he saw. Quatre looked much better than when he had taken him to the temple, and in a way as if he had always been there, by his side, as if he had just returned from a walk. A trace of food on Quatre's face, made him unconsciously reach up and cleaned him gently. His chest ached, he felt sadness, nostalgia, happiness, anger... tears flowed without intending to, and out of nowhere Quatre wiped his face with part of the robe. 

"WuFei... what...?" 

"Master Quatre, I'm so sorry. Since I'm taking care of you, I'm not sure what's happening to me" 

"I think you were with me that day..." WuFei didn't seem to understand what he was saying "it was in that dream that I had... it made me remember the nightmares I used to have... although they looked different, now I know it was you WuFei... I think you were also my guard at that time... but in my nightmares you were dead next to me, and I couldn't do nothing... my body couldn't move... I suppose it was the same to what you call the unconsciousness... it makes me sad to remember that nightmare." 

WuFei pounced on him with a firm kiss, while framing Quatre's face with his hands, his chest ached intensely and agonizing. Quatre had never felt anything like that, except in his dreams. Something he had yearned for in his short existence was knowing why he felt this way in a dream and not in real life; and seemed to have found it. 

Quatre returned the kiss, a little shy, a little awkward and trembling, feeling WuFei relax as he placed his hands over those of the young guardian. He opened his eyes, and saw those long black eyes, confused, watching him. 

Out of nowhere the guard got up and left the room. Quatre didn't quite understand what had happened, but he was already certain of his place in this world. He always knew it. 

The wastelands gleamed after the last rain. It seemed to have thousands of tiny crystals on the long grass. Her long blond hair fluttered in the wind; a hundred flowers of all colors surrounded her. Next to her was him. Tall and dark with his tight ponytail and short pointed beard. 

"Shen ... is everything alright?" 

"Of course, it is... the wastelands look like wastelands... now they can work them... I changed your clothes; they were too big for you." 

"I'm impressed that you don't run away from me when I'm so big and robust..." 

"Hahahahahahaha..." The lines in the corners of his eyes made his black eyes look longer "in fact I like it, it gives me assurance that later you will be fine... and of course I like to hug you like that..." 

"Shen!" She was clearly embarrassed so she covered her face with her hands "I am so embarrassed… I don't know how the monks haven't discovered us…" 

"It doesn't matter... there are things that are not in your logs... unless we had children... then the monks should make a family tree..." 

"You know I can't have children, because..." 

"Due to your immortal soul and ability to reincarnate... I know Sandrock" Sheng hugged the woman tightly while kissing her on the forehead "that will not stop me from being with you now, not in the next life, nor in the next one after that... 'I love you' is not enough… but I don't know a bigger expression either." 

They both smiled holding their foreheads against each other. The breeze was warm, the air clean, and the farmers came with food to thank for the recovery of the wastelands 

"They ask for your help from Zinzhi..." Shen said as he brought clean clothes to Sandrock, who was still tangled between the sheets of her bed "they tried a cleansing device, but it did not last what they expected, and it worsened everything... instead of a field, more than half of the kingdom was contaminated ... they are about to lose their crops and supplies for 2 years..." 

"That seems like a lot... I won't be able to handle that much, if I don't gain a little more weight..." 

"I'll help you with the food, it would not be the first time... your aura is fine, and while I'm close to you, you will be fine." 

Sandrock raised her arms, as Shen approached the bed with the clothes, and hugged him tightly. She liked to hear his heart beat. 

"These sudden missions scare me... in almost all of them I lost you... and that hurts me more than my own suffering." 

Shen hugged her tightly, kissing her head, and made her lift her face to kiss her lips. 

"If it happens again, you know that I will find you again and I will take care of you again... whether you are a rock or a fish, or yourself again... I know that I will find you... even if I don't remember it." 

Laughing at the stupidity of being a rock in the next life, they went back to bed, while they kissed as if they had never done it, they made love with sadness in their hearts, fearing that it was the last time. 

And then it was all dark. 

"I love you ... I don't know what else to say ... I don't know what is greater than that... I will fi-find you ..." 

A whisper drowned in the darkness made him open his eyes and see a dense emptiness turn orange, while his skin melted and began to disappear in the pain of his body and soul. 

Suddenly, he found himself in the bathroom, hugging the toilet while throwing up what he had eaten... breakfast? Dinner? He wasn't sure... it seemed to be the temple bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror, he saw his celestial eyes, his blond hair, his skinny immaturity. Through the windows he could see soft light coming in from outside and the smell of fresh bread. He wasn't sure how much time had passed. Upon returning to the room, there was an easel with an unfinished painting on it, and a few others finished on canvases hanging on the wall at the head of the bed. His bedside table was covered in colored jars and brushes, and his bed covered in clothes ... on the nightstand were empty bowls and the instrument that looked like a violin. Everything was very messy, chaos everywhere. The windows in the room were closed, but as the doors opened the light streamed in and the breeze stirred his hair. 

An expectant WuFei watched him from the side of the door. He had a troubled face and notorious dark circles. Servants who passed by with some baskets of food returned on their way, warning that master Quatre had left the room. 

"WuFei, good morning? Excuse me... I'm not sure what time it is... I think I slept too much." 

The guard approached the young man and took him by the arms and pressed his forehead to his. He turned red up to his neck, while the guard stayed like that for a couple of minutes; and the servants who had left before returned with clean clothes and food. 

"Is gone…" the guard murmured against his face. 

"Master Chang, we will clean master Sandrock's room, we will take the food to the garden" said one of the servants. 

Quatre didn't understand what was going on, but he wouldn't let them clean his room instead of him. He needed to be in control of something within his crazy situation.