The Darkness Within Us

6. The Phantoms

~~Salomé~~

It was really kind of Valentin to give me a ride. It was definitely way faster than the bus. The highways and the cars always make me nervous, but it was certainly exciting to ride a bike. And Valentin… he… has a broad back and long legs... He seems to be a skilled and responsible driver too. I started to think again about when I was holding him and, for some reason, I looked back. He was still there, he looked so cool and chill in the way he leaned his weight on the bike. He smiled, waving his hand at me, and then he rolled on his way. Honestly, he just looked so… sexy…

I shook my head to sweep those thoughts away and started to walk faster as raindrops fell on my head. I hope he made it home on time. When I got home, I changed into some more comfortable and kitchen-friendly clothes. I had to cook some lunch, but I had to drop on my cozy-looking bed first. I was hungry but I was more tired. I just stared at the corner of the well-illuminated room.

I don’t remember when was the first time I saw a ghost. When I realized it, I wasn’t even sure if they were real or simply a product of my imagination caused by my nightmares. It is normal for all kids at some point to feel scared of the darkness thinking there is something in there, and making them want to sleep with their parents; I had a lot of nightmares because of that, which eventually became a phobia of the darkness. But when I told my mom how terrified I was of the shadows that hid in the corners of my room when the lights were off, and the scary things they whispered to haunt me, my mom knew that it couldn’t be only my imagination and, rather, I was seeing something.

It is rare that they show up in the daylight, that they talk to me, or that they show up when there are more people. Generally, they only appear when I am alone in the darkness... What I saw when I was little were shadows that hid from the light but liked to wander in the darkness. They are mostly inoffensive, they just mind their own business, but that doesn’t make it less disturbing. But there are others that are not content with that and decide to harass me. This is not something that happens every day, there are times when I can live a pacific life at least for a while, but there are other times when I see them more than I need to. I should be used by now, but I simply can’t help but feel terrified of walking in a dark place even when I see nothing there. That’s why the house is never really dark. The extension of night lights on my ceiling turns on the moment the sky becomes dark, and in the bathroom and the hallway, there are small night lights that glow when it’s dark and turn off when the lights turn on.

I do my best to hide it because I don’t want to worry dad or Jesús, but sometimes I can’t, just like last night. We told Jesus that I have nightmares to not scare him, but I know I scare him sometimes, he is smart. But he is still brave enough to comfort me when I “dream of something scary” and to sleep only with the green, dim light of the little stars and planets on the ceiling of his room, and that is a relief to me. The last thing I want to do is to affect his life with my problems; and by the look of it, Jesús doesn’t have the same "ability" as me, and that’s also relieving.

That night, after finishing my homework late, I decided that I should reward myself with a couple of chapters of my book. Dad entered the room once or twice, telling me to not go to bed too late and saying that I would ruin my eyesight by reading with such poor illumination, and my back as an extra. My back, well that I can help that tho, but my eyesight? There’s no way it gets worse. I have already developed the eyes of a cat for reading with even less light than he imagines. When finally, sleepiness reached me, I tucked myself under the blankets, welcoming the delicious warmth. The only problem is that I couldn’t fall asleep. Each time I felt like I finally would, my body decided to roll and toss. I rose up, lifting the blankets to head to the kitchen for some water. The light in the hall was not plugged in but I didn’t need it, the tiny, flashing light of the monitor was enough. I turned on the light in the kitchen to grab another water bottle and refill the empty bottle. I turned off the light and returned to my room successfully.

I was closing my door when I heard water falling. The sink that I broke accidentally now drips if you don’t find the right spot while closing the water, so I had to go back to the kitchen and close it. This time I didn’t turn the lights on, I simply stopped the dripping and headed back to my room. A sudden shiver made me turn back. The flashing light revealed a horrible apparition that appeared and disappeared with the flashing light. It was the same one as yesterday. It was there, looking straight at me with its deorbited eyes. I flinched when I saw it moving, it was moving toward me. I felt breathless, my mouth dried and I simply did what my body commanded. I rushed to the bathroom, where the dim, yellow light licked the floor under the thin lines of the door. I felt a cold current in my spine as I reached the door handle. The moment I opened the door to run into the bathroom, I felt something really close to an icy hand grabbing my elbow briefly. It startled me and I ended up slipping on the carpet of the bathroom and falling down. I put my hands in front of me but still managed to hit my chin against the tub, but I couldn’t care less. I quickly recoiled against a corner, bracing myself.

I saw how the dim light illuminated the hall, and at the end, hiding in the shadow, it was still looking at me. I started to hyperventilate, my breaths were too short and raggedy. What was scarier than seeing them was being touched. I squeezed my eyes, bracing myself, and I touched the bracelet on my ankle. “It can’t touch me; it can’t touch me.” I repeated, reminding myself that this bracelet was supposed to protect me. I opened my eyes, leaning forward with the intention of closing the door, but when I saw it again, I swore I could see it smiling, and fear petrified me, forcing me to go back to my position. I deepened my head between my knees trying to control myself, trying to breathe at least. “N-no, no puede…”(It-c-can’t…) I was the one who couldn’t, I fell into tears like a hopeless child. Why? Why can't I do this? Why am I so ridiculous?

I kept arguing internally, angry at myself for not being able to gather at least an ounce of courage when I felt a hand grabbing my shoulder. I gasped at the touch of the hand that held onto my shoulder. My eyes were shut but I slowly realized that it was a warm touch, from a hand of flesh and bone. I raised my head. “Pa…”