PLAYBOY'S PERSONAL ASSISTANT

Chapter 14

Tera

My phone was puzzing, i thought i was being smart putting it out of reach. The hope was that if i couldn't reach it i wouldn't answer it.

Maybe it was Alex

The man is fine AF, yes, but he is taken. I'm not trying to walk on Koko's grass, though to be clear, it is a beautifully maintained lawn. Yes there is an attraction between us but i have lived long enough to not believe men who say they are going to break up with their wives girlfriends for you.

I also had my fair share of secrets, Alex didn't know everything about me he just fell in love with a part of me. He had no idea i had a son and I intended it to stay that way.

I look at my phone it's Clare asking me where am at, we were supposed to grab lunch together.

Am a little disappointed Alex has not tried to reach me at all. It's been a week since our hotel incidence where i bolted out when he was still in the shower. I knew he would be furious dissapointed but i atleast expected him to reach out but nothing it had been radio silence.

I arrive at the restaurant fifteen minutes late. Clare waves me over to the table, and i walk straight to her doing my best not to look around incase anyone recognized me as the woman from Alex's arm. I slide over into the booth opposite Claire.

Clare groans "You are so late, and am literally starving"

"Am sorry i took a nap and lost track if time"

"Did he call you yet?" she asks me looking at me in the eyes,

"Nope, he hasn't at this point i don't really think he is going to" she just shakes a head as she waves the waiter to come over and take our orders.

"Maybe he just took the hint when you left him the hotel room after f*****g him" she says matter of factly "you got your wish, but i still think you should have told him about Kyle, give him a chance"

"Well it doesn't matter anymore Clare, can we not talk about him anymore" i say as the waiter approaches with our orders.

Lunch goes without a glitch, we chat alittle about work, school and kyle who is away at Christian boot camp for the summer.

"Oh God, i think am about to throw up" Clare looks at me confused.

I immediately get up and rush towards the bathroom before i could literally throw up on her and our desert.

Clare follows me as quick as she possibly can and helps hold my hair as i kneel throwing up into the toilet. She later helps me clean up and we walk out. Our ride home is silent, am exhausted from the throwing up and dehydrated and she sits there on her phone until we pull up to our apartment.

I took a shower first because i was feeling pretty heated up. I try to avoid getting my hair wet because i don't think i have the energy to dry it up.

I turn off the water and grab a towel, running it over to myself. I walk into Clare's bedroom, she is lying in her bed reading a magazine.

"everything okay Tera?" she asked sitting up

"Have my breasts gotten bigger?" i ask letting go of the towel for her to access me

"I think so, kind of they are a little full, why" she asks, before i even answer she stands up her mouth wide open "Tera are you pregnant?"

"I don't know Clare, i say sitting on her bed with a thud, Alex has been saying my breasts are bigger but i didn't take much of it, but lately i have been sleeping aloot and then the throwing up and sudden cravings, i hate sea food but now i can't seem to get enough, it makes sense"

"Oh, my God Tera, what are you going to do, is it Alex's"

"I don't know Clare, but it definitely is Alex's he is the only one i slept with without condoms"

"How do you think he will take it?" she asks sitting back again now next to me

"Clare i don't know, i don't even know if am going to keep it or even tell him about it. I can't possibly have another child and am not even down with law school"

This was definitely not going according to my plans whatsoever, how was i supposed to take care of another human being when i was already struggling with Kyle. Getting pregnant will even complicate things because i won't be able to work and i would have to look for another job.

"Don't panic just yet, it could be your hormones messing with you, we need to go to the hospital and do a test." Clare says pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Let's just hope it's my hormones Clare because i don't know what am going to do,"

"Have you even had your periods yet?" She asks

"No, they are actually set to start a few days from now, but i don't think i can wait that long, let's just go and have a test"

I stand up and go to my room to dress up. I can't actually believe this is happening to me. For a moment i try to imagine how Alex would take the news that am pregnant with his child and whichever scenario i come up with none of it is good. How could i be pregnant for a man who does not even know i already have a child and he just lost a child a year go the timing was not in my favor too.

***

Clare is standing on the other side of the bed holding my hand. She hasn't taken her eyes off me the entire time the nurse has been helping me. After taking a blood sample. It's in that moment i realise she thinks we are a couple.

I tell her she is my best friend, she just smiles and walks away.

"i might as well be your girlfriend, since we will raise this child together if you are actually pregnant" she says trying to lighten the mood.

"am always careful, i don't know why i let this happen Clare, i never even once insisted on him wearing a condom"

"it's not your fault Tera, stop blaming yourself he also knew the consequences of doing what he did its both your faults"

The nurse comes back in with the results,

"You are three weeks pregnant" she says smiling, she thought this was good news i couldn't blame her cheerfulness.

I don't hear anything beyond that,

Nothing

The pressure begins to build in my head. My heart. My stomach i grip the edges of the exam table am sitting on and i stare at the floor.

I release a quick breath, and then drag in more air. I start shaking my head, and when Clare's arms come around me i start crying, she holds me the entire time.

I did this to myself

"let's go" she nods her head and helps me back into my shoes, then we walk out of the hospital.

She says nothing to me as we drive back home. I stare out of the window, too exhausted to cry. Too in shock to speak.

We get to the house Clare pulls a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and hands it to me

"Are you hungry? I shake my head, even if i was i wouldn't be able to eat.

I walk to my bedroom as she follows me and tell her i want to shower. I walk to the bathroom and close the door behind me.

I remain in the bathroom for thirty minutes. Some of those minutes are spent staring at my reflection in the mirror. Some of those minutes are spent in the shower. The rest are spent over the toilet as i make myself sick with thoughts of the last several hours.

I am wrapped in a towel when i c***k the bathroom door open. Clare is no longer in the bedroom. I put on my pajamas snd then crawl into bed. I pull the covers up and over me. I cry so hard i don't even make a noise.

I am lying on bed staring at the ceiling hours later. Occasionally i would place my hand on my stomach and a tiny wave of love will come. I have no idea what am going to do still, but i do think about whether it's a boy or girl. I have always wanted a girl to play dress up with. Kyle has always wanted a small sister so he would be thrilled. I wonder if it would look like me or Alex and then another wave of anger hits me.

I force myself off the bed and walk into the sitting room where i find Clare sitting watching cartoons. She ushers me to sit as she fixes me a plate.

"How are you feeling?" she asked

"Not great honestly, i just don't know what to do"

"You are not supposed to know immediately babe, take your time and think it all through but whatever you decide just know i love you and i will support you"

"What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

"Honey i can't make that choice for you, but i think Alex should know irregardless of what you decide to do"

Clare brings me a bowl of pasta. She then sits next to me glancing at the television. For the next three hours we binge watch our favorite show the big bang theory. It feels good.

I take a bathroom break, when i come back the weight of all this starts to sink in.

I sit back on the couch next to Clare. I naturally lean to her and she pulls me close just like we always do since we were kids. We just sit there in silence and for the first time since we found out i feel like talking about it.

"I am not okay, because until this moment i had no idea how hurt i was. Still am that he never tried calling or texting me, he said he wanted me you know, he should have atleast tried to even call, so i know he really was serious" i say mid tears. I sit up and pull my hands to my face, "i was ready to go on with my life and forget about him and then boom am pregnant for him"

"Maybe he feels the same exact same thing because he thought you were on the same page and then you just disappeared on him without saying anything, and I think now because of the pregnancy you should talk to him"

"You really think so?"

"Yeah he deserves to know, and whatever happens i will always be your family"

She pulls me in for a hug and asks while still hugging me"Do we know if we are keeping it though? "

I get out of the embrace" Yeah, we are having another baby,"

Clare is so excited she pulls me in again for aa hug" i hope it's a girl so i can be matching outfits with her"she says excitedly.

"am so glad you are happy we are having a baby, when we can barely afford the one we already have" i say laughing

"the baby daddy is a billionaire, or have you forgotten" she says mocking me"you will just have to play nice to that man and he just might be our ticket out of poverty "she is now trying me. I give her the side eye

" Tera, don't worry We will be just fine, this is a blessing. "

I smile at her, she is truly the best human i know. She is my rock

" I will text him tomorrow tell him to stop by, so we can talk, or do you think we should do it in public?"

"No in the house is fine considering who he is, you can handle your business without interference."

Clare says getting up, "i need to sleep, i have a long day tomorrow, i love you two " she walks away blowing me kisses