Legacy

Thana kept us busy for a couple of hours. Running through every detail from the décor, the menu, the security, and the guests. Page after page of details that she kept reading. She made a bunch of different lists; each task had its own individual list and as she worked through it, she ticked off every single item. I tried my best to focus on all the details Thana was discussing, but my interest wavered when she mentioned Selene. She clears her throat before speaking. “Your mother has not confirmed her attendance.” Looking at her cautiously I wet my lips. Squeezing Eric’s hand in mine a little tighter. “I don’t care. I don’t want her there anyway.” I try and force my tone to sound absolute. I didn’t expect Selene to make an effort to attend, but for some reason hearing her clear rejection aloud stings. Even for a mother that cares about nothing but power, I would expect her to want to witness the ascension. To witness the power that I will harness at my peak. She nods her head slightly and move on quickly - not dwindling on the subject. I attempt several times to refocus my attention back on her. She worked on this party for months, and I feel bad that I am not more excited or happy about the day getting near, but my stomach turns every time my mind drifts to the ascension. In the circles we run power is important, and there isn’t a person that is not waiting in anticipation to see what mighty power the daughter of their deceased ruler harnesses. Feeling the anxiety rise I reach for my cup, taking a big sip of the sweet concoction. Thana doesn’t let up - she pushes on, talking about several council members I should win favour with. Every few minutes Eric shifts uncomfortably in his seat. I don’t even have to ask to know what’s eating at him. Due to the nature of the event, and the separation of power which exists between the pure-blood and changelings, he will not be permitted to be at my side. Hell, he won’t even be allowed a seat at our table. I despise the culture which has formed over the centuries - the reason for it completely inconsequential. Thinking of not having him next to me on Saturday pushes my anxiety to a whole new level, but Thana has been very clear about adhering to council policy. Once in power, I would be able to start making small changes. Small changes leading to bigger changes that will hopefully make life better for all of us. Eventually. Finally Thana turns to the last page, signalling the end, when a sudden thought pops into my mind. It’s something stupid, but I can’t help being curious. “Who will introduce me?” I interrupt her. Normally the head of the house will introduce you, and your father would escort you during the night while boasting to every member about your tributes to the council and society. Sadness fills me the longer the silence continues. I miss my dad. Every day something happens that I wish I could share with him. I wonder whether he would be proud of the person I have become. Thana instantly notices the shift in my mood. She reaches across the small coffee table and takes on of my hands - squeezing it tightly. “Barnabus will introduce you, Mr D’Lorean would have escorted you, but he is stuck in a business meeting for the first of the ball, so Aslan will take his place.” She glances at Eric cautiously, knowing that he and Aslan does not get along, but he remain silent - as he has all morning. I can see the mischievous gleam in Thana’s eyes as she concocts a ploy to make Eric feel more included, and in this moment I love her more than life. “Eric dear… can you teach Lenny to waltz?” The atmosphere in the room has taken a dive, and a curtain of tension has settled amongst us. Eric forces a polite half smile and nods. Without an attempt at any further conversation Thana gathers her things. Stopping half way out of the room, she pauses, glancing back over her shoulder. “We need to fit the dress later - make sure it fits.” She doesn’t wait for an answer. She doesn’t need too - even if I don’t feel like trying it on, Thana would just pester me until I finally relent and agree. I wait until Thana’s footsteps cannot be heard anymore. Turning to Eric I take both his hands in mine. I know we aren’t technically dating, and there’s no need for me to feel guilty about having Aslan there - but I still care about him. “About Aslan…” Eric cuts me off, folding the envelope Thana gave him in half and pocketing it. “I should get this to my dad.” Standing, he kisses me on the cheek and leaves. ??? The next couple of days fly by in a whirl. Eric almost never came by - making all sorts of menial excuses as to why he couldn’t see me, when in fact I was almost sure he just didn’t want to. The house was crawling with teams of people wo were busy setting up the ball room as per Thana’s very specific instructions. All these years living here, and I still underestimated the sheer size of the ball room. Right now, in preparation for the party, the walls and ceilings were draped with white linen. Little fairy lights danced between the fabric, making it look like a thousand tiny starts at night-time. The tables were set up on the outskirts of the room, decorated with big bouquets of white lilies, roses and peonies at the centre of each. Framing the flowers candelabras, champagne and wine glasses were strategically placed, finished with elegant golden name tags. At least 60 guests have sent their confirmation for attendance, and my chest felt tight merely thinking about it. Apart from the few dance lessons I’ve had, I still had training with Darius taking up most of my mornings, lessons with Mr D in council politics in the afternoons, and etiquette with Thana in between. Finn excused himself from training this week, and Darius had been a tough opponent. Before I knew if Friday has arrived, and the ball was only a day away. I get out of bed feeling sentimental. I hurriedly dress in shorts, a t-shirt and pull on my trainers. I haven’t heard from Eric in almost two days. Picking up my phone I type and send a quick message. Hi, You know what would be really great on this fine Friday morning? Knowing that you’re still kicking! I miss you & wanna see you. Can you come over? X I put my phone back down and head down to the training centre. I can't believe today is my last session with Darius. He has become integral in my morning routine - it feels strange knowing that it will be different tomorrow. Entering the centre, I find him standing in front of the boxing mat, looking down at his watch, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently. Raising an eyebrow at me, I know he is about to scold me for being a couple of minutes behind schedule. Finn has still not re-joined training, so I can’t even use him as an excuse for being late. Unlike me - his training is not due to some role at the council, but solely for his own enjoyment. Most mornings I envy that freedom - it's something I have never been privy to. I have never had the freedom to decide for myself what my future will look like - it has been laid out for me since the day I was born. From the training room behind Darius he emerges, and I have to pinch myself to make sure that I am not still dreaming. We did not expect him to arrive until much later today, but it seems that he is just full of surprises. The sight of him is enough to make my knees weak, and without realizing it my heartbeat has gained tempo. I haven’t been able to explain it, but we have a bond like I have with no other, not even Eric. “Oh my god, Aslan!” My excitement matches that of a child waiting to open his birthday or Christmas present, but I don’t care. I run to him, holding my arms out, knowing that he would catch me. He always catches me. His smile widens, and without any effort he lifts me, and swirls me around before putting me back down. I missed hugging him, and how he smelled. “Hi Lenny” still smiling from ear to ear. “Is it okay to still call you Lenny, or would you like me to call you Ms Ballari from now on?” The playfulness in his voice is just like old times - it’s a breath of fresh air in this suffocating time. He looks at me mockingly. Without having to complain about the pressure of the night to follow, Aslan knows me well enough to know that I am not looking forward to the next 24 hours at all. “Please don’t ever call me Ms Ballari” My tone is almost begging, and I can see that he is pleased with my answer. Moments pass and we are communicating by only glances and smiling, when Darius speaks behind me, bringing me back to reality. “Please take your stance.” He is stern as always. It has been almost a year since I have seen Aslan, and sparring with him is exhausting. He is not an easy opponent like his brother, and he does not take it easy on me like Eric. He is calculative, clever and ruthless. He understands that taking it easy on me would not do me any good, and he gives it everything he has in every match. By the time Darius stops us, we are both grasping for air, a sign of a workout well done. My cheeks are flushed, and my skin tingles from all the adrenaline flooding through my system. “I am pleased with your progress Lenny” It sweeps over me like a wave. All the excitement of seeing Aslan made me forget that today was my last day with Darius. I have grown quite fond of the little man. He was a great teacher, and knowing this is the end of our journey brings tears to my eyes. I hug him hard. A gesture that most would consider extremely inappropriate. "Thanks for everything.” I pull back from the hug and look at him. He smiles a genuine smile. “Your father would be so proud of you. I know I am.” He shakes my hand as a sign of respect and leaves the room silently, leaving me alone with Aslan. “I’ve missed you.” He’s studying me closely, as I gulp down almost half my bottle of water. “You’ve gotten strong while I was away” he continues, starting to move towards me. I don’t know the look in Aslan’s eyes. I rarely do. I think that’s what made him so exciting, unlike with the rest of his family, unlike with Eric - I could never tell what Aslan is thinking. He perfected the art of hiding his thoughts from me, and only let me see what he wants to. I hug him again, tightly and longer this time. “I’ve missed you too.” He rest his chin on my head, welcoming the hug. Burying his nose in my hair, I must admit how oddly natural it feels, standing here like this - but then I think of Eric, and guilt overcomes me. He would be crushed if he saw me hugging Aslan like this, and would be sure to make it more than it was. “Want to go for a run?” I look up at Aslan to meet his eyes, and they are filled with happiness. “Thought you’d never ask!” We run through the thicket of pine, following a little foot path that I guess have formed over the years as we ran. Aslan leads the way, looking back over his shoulder every couple of minutes or so just to make sure that I am still keeping up. Being 5 years my senior he has already ascended, and he has to limit himself for me to keep up, but it doesn’t look like he’s minding. We finally reach the road, and he lowers himself onto a patch of grass next to the road, sticking his hand out to me so that I would go sit next to him. I plunge down next to him, knowing that this might be the last time I have him to myself for the rest of the day. Once we’re back at the house, everyone will want to spend time with him, catching up on time lost this past year. We use to run here a lot, and usually it would be all babble and no silence but not today. He follows my gaze down the road towards the bend. It was just past that bend where my dad passed away, and my mom left me forever. “You okay, Len.” I don’t answer and just look down at my shoes. “Are you having the nightmares again?” he nudges again. Tears fill my eyes. I guess the pressure with everything going on along with the nightmare’s is just too much, and he is the only person in front of whom I can really drop my guard. “I have been having them almost every night for the past few months. They haunt me, Aslan. These days it’s like a constant reminder of what happened, and what is expected of me.” The tears are streaming down my eyes like waterfalls. “Funny thing is though, I don’t even know if I am ready to become part of the council. I keep thinking that it’s too early” I stare at him hoping for some form of confirmation, but he doesn’t speak. He just looks at me. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me into another hug. “Whatever you decide to do, I will be here for you”. We pass the pond behind the staff’s square on our way back to the house. If you look closely, you can see the front arch leading the path up to the porch stairs. Out of nowhere Aslan launches at me, pushing me into the pond, and I slam face first into the shallow water. “Thought you could use a cool of.” He is laughing so much it looks like he might pass out. I shoot him a deadly glance, and in a split second he jumps to his feet knowing he is in trouble. “I’m going to kill you” I yell clambering out of the pond. He is already a few meters ahead, but I take off chasing after him, intending on making him pay for the unwanted soaking I just got. I’m soaked and running is not the easiest in wet shoes. In between the strides, I mission to get my hair out of my eyes. He is almost at the house, and nearly in reach. Without realizing he comes to a sudden stop in front of me. I try and stop, but it’s too late. I hit him full force from the back, and both of us hit the ground tumbling. Aslan’s back on his feet even faster than he hit the ground. “Gee…. thanks for helping a girl up.” He does not attempt to help me, and his eyes are fixed on the porch. It’s only when I find my footing that I see why he has become so cold. At the top of the porch staring down at us is Eric. On his face is a look of disgust, and I remember that no one except me has had the privilege of knowing that Aslan is home. I walk up to him, trying to salvage the situation. Even when hugging him, his eyes remain fixed on Aslan’s. “Sorry I couldn’t make it this morning” He finally shoots me a glance sideward, and kiss me briefly on the cheek. Aslan starts up the stairs as well, extending his hand to Eric. They shake reluctantly, knowing whomever doesn’t will look like a complete ass in the moment. About to answer Eric, Aslan interrupts me. “No problem. I kept her company.” He moves his eyes back from Eric onto me. “Cannot have our girl running alone in the woods. Never know if something or someone might try to snatch her in there.” “It’s okay, I kept her company” he looks for Aero to me. I turn around and stare at him in disbelief. He knows how Eric feels about our bond, and he just waved a red flag in front of a raging bull. It’s a god sent gift that Thana opens the door and interrupts the show of masculinity. She hugs her son and hurries him inside. Alone on the porch with Eric, I attempt to explain that I was not aware that Aslan was home yet, and that he surprised me during training this morning, but it’s my words land on deaf ears. He is trembling, and I know that he is furious. He looks down at me attempting to hide his anger, but I know better. I hug him again. “You owe me a lesson mister…” This has him smiling. Eric has agreed to help me practice the waltz - and we have enjoyed the opportunity to be close. I have had a few lessons this week, but I still have trouble landing the turns and twists. “Let me change out of these wet clothes and I will meet you in the kitchen. I need some coffee before I attempt dancing.” Inside my bedroom I quickly change into a pair of denim shorts and white blouse. I keep thinking how good it felt to have Aslan to myself this morning and how much I missed having him around. Nearing the kitchen I scan the house - luckily it seems that he and Thana have disappeared for the time being. I take a deep breath before pushing into the kitchen - pushing all the thoughts of Aslan from my mind. I have to focus on Eric, and our complicated relationship for now, and I hope Aslan will understand. Eric has already poured each of us a cup. I grab the pair of heels I will be wearing tomorrow from the server. Eric looks at me. Eyebrow c****d to the side. “Really?” His eyes lower to the heels in my hand. I know it looks strange - but I smile teasingly at him. “Oh, shut it! You know I will be wearing these tomorrow, so I want to try them now and make sure that I will be able to dance in them.” He shakes his head chuckling under his breath. While I put my shoes on, Eric searches for the song on this phone. The shoes are pretty - it has a two diamond straps that crosses my toes, a white piece of material that covers my heels and a strap that ties into a bow around my ankle. The music starts, slowly filling the space around the ballroom. He helps me to my feet and leads me to the middle of the dance floor. The waltz is not bad, and I enjoy dancing with Eric more than I thought I would. We stay in place for a while, swaying back and forth. The moment the music progress we pick up the steps to the waltz. One, two, three. One, two, three. I keep counting in my head. It’s harder in the heels, but on the second lap around the room I manage to stay upright. “You’re going to do great, Lenny. You have already become a master” I cannot help but blush when he says that. My hand is on his shoulder, and I can feel the tension from this morning drain from him as we dance around the room. We continue dancing in silence, and in every corner he spins and dips me before continuing with the familiar pattern I’ve learned. The song comes to an end and we stop in the middle of the dance floor. “Remember to bow.” he’s hand is still holding mine when he dips his head towards me. “So many things to remember about tomorrow night.” I let out a deep breath. He sits down, and pats his hand on the floor, indicating for me to sit next to him. “I have never realized how big this room is” I sigh as I sit, fishing for small talk. He has been acting strange today, but I guess in a way so have I. He cups my chin with one hand, and kisses me lightly, not at all like his usual kisses. I linger my eyes on his, waiting for him to speak. I can see the swirl of emotions in his eyes. “I need to talk to you about something serious Len.” he says taking a deep breath. I swallow audibly. I don’t want to talk about serious matters now. With everything that is weighing on my shoulders I don’t know if I have the capacity to handle serious right now, but I nod for him to continue anyway. “You’re turning 18 tomorrow, and it’s a big deal. Whether you like it or not, and whether you want it or not, a lot will change the next couple of months. I know that over the years the council has come to accept relationships between the my kind and yours, but considering your position they will want an indication of what your plans for the future would be.” I have never heard of him referring to our relationship this way. I mean technically I knew he was right, they didn’t forbid these relations, but they also did not encourage them. I wonder if it bothers him that they wouldn’t be supportive of us, of our complicated friendship - and why he never brought it up before. He keeps quiet for a few seconds, and then he lifts his eyes to meet mine. “Don’t join the council Lenny. I love you, you know that. Let’s get married and move away and leave all of this behind.” Tension filled silence fills the room. My jaw drops as my eyes search his for an explanation. We aren’t even properly dating. I search my mind but cannot come up with an answer to his revelation. This past week I have doubted my position, but hearing him offer the chance to run with me, I suddenly feel protected over my legacy. “Eric I….” I take a deep breath. “I can’t just run away. This position has been my destiny, my future, since the day I was born.” He looks down at the ground, sorting the words in his head before speaking. “You don’t need to be part of the council to be happy, and sometimes you don’t even know yourself whether it is the right time to join. Just marry me, I will keep you safe. We can get away from all of these toxic people.” He is right to an extent. Marrying him and running will make life simple, but even in the times I’ve doubted taking my position at the council right now - I’ve always planned on joining at some point. I am hurt that he refers to the D’Loreans as toxic. They became my family when I had none, and they were the only ties I had to my father, he couldn’t think that I would give them up. I can’t even think of a way to process his statements, and most of all his gesture of marriage. Marriage. “They are not toxic you know. They are family.” my tone is bitter, more so than I wanted it to be. “I did not know you were thinking of marriage” this time I manage to control my emotions. " I don’t know what to say, I have too….” Before I could speak again, he cuts me off. “You don’t have to say anything” he kisses me on my forehead and then lies flat on his back on the floor next to me. Some time pass, and the tension which has formed after Eric’s revelation is weighing heavy in the room. The air is filled with heavy breathing and sighs, but all I manage to do is sit there in awkward silence. “I should go” he utters breaking the uncomfortable silence. “I still need to sort out a few things before tomorrow night.” He looks at me again, his eyes searching for something in mine. “I will see you tomorrow night. Save me the…… second dance.” He squeezes my hand, gets up and disappears from the room. No hug. No kiss. No glance back towards me. Without taking the shoes off I head upstairs. Aslan’s room is just across from mine, and his door is open, showing him standing over the desk, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. I pause in the doorway looking at him. Just like me, he has changed over the past year. He used to look……. so much like a boy I suppose, but he has come home much more than that. His chest is muscled, and his stomach is decorated with a 6-pack. “Those shoes look incredible. Can’t wait to see the dress!” He has a half smile on his face. As much as I enjoy the compliment, I am not in the mood to talk to anyone. “Will you be wearing a tie?” I wait for him to answer. “Do you want me to wear a tie?” he looks at me intently. I smile at him and close the door, not entertaining the conversation any longer. I crash down on my bed and replay the conversation I just had with Eric - still dumbfounded. Marriage. He wants to marry me. Lying on my bed staring at the ceiling I realize how tired I am. I have been running around with arrangements for the ball, splitting myself and attention between what feels like at least ten people, trying to do my best in everything. Lessons and training have been tough, but which is more exhausting was the dance lessons, the make-up pre-runs, hair appointment and all the little things the ball required in between my normal schedule. Before this morning, I have forgotten how good it feels to run, and how free it makes me feel. I drift off quickly, and almost immediately I am fast asleep.